The Boyfriend Experience (8 page)

Darren waited for the crowd to quiet down before continuing. “And now, I’ll give the floor to Kyle Sommers, our Vice President of Operations, who will be answering you questions.”

A text came into Nate’s phone as soon as Darren stepped off the stage.

DONE!
Darren texted.
Well, not quite, but I should be able to leave soon.

Nate chuckled as he texted back.
Time to celebrate?

Damn right!

When’re you gonna be home?
Nate asked.

We’re actually going out for drinks. Us two, Kyle, Kate, Tony and Vince. At Chianti’s in an hour
. Darren replied.

Okay, I’ll meet you guys there
. Nate said before putting his phone down.

* * *

They were both laughing and giggling like mad when they came through the door.

“No I did
not
!” Darren scoffed at Nate.

“Oh yes, you did.” Nate laughed as Darren wrapped his arm around him and began tickling him.

“I didn’t!”

“Tickling is cheating!” Nate cried foul, but Darren was judge, jury and executioner. “Okay! Uncle! I said uncle!”

Darren had a mischievous grin on his face as he pulled Nate upright and leaned him against the wall of the front hall.

“I’m so happy for you,” Nate said sincerely when he finally managed to stop laughing. Darren stood close, and their hips bumped when Darren leaned forward to kiss him.

“Thank you,” Darren said before tasting Nate’s lips again. “For everything.”

Nate didn’t know how to respond. Instead, he deepened the kiss and let Darren take over when the man began kissing him back deeply and possessively.

Once they began exploring each other’s body they couldn’t stop. Nate arched his hips forward to grind against Darren’s hardening erection as Darren pinned him against the wall.

Their fingers worked clumsily to take each other’s clothes off, wanting to get at the skin underneath. They continued to kiss as they made their way into the living room, leaving a trail of clothes behind. They were both completely naked by the time they got to the couch, their hands roaming over each other’s chests and backs eagerly.

Nate climbed onto the couch on his hands and knees. Once he was in position he reached for the lube he’d hidden under the couch and began to finger himself as he lay on top of a pile of cushions.

He moaned loudly as he stretched himself. His lips were parted as he looked longingly at Darren, who had begun to stroke his hardness as he watched Nate.

Darren didn’t wait for long. Once he saw that Nate was ready with three fingers in his ass, he settled behind Nate, still pumping himself. He pulled Nate’s fingers out and plunged into Nate’s tight entrance, bottoming out in one long stroke.

They both groaned when Darren slid home. Nate arched back to kiss Darren as Darren began to thrust into him, hard and fast.

“Oh… oh god… Oh yeah…” Nate whimpered against the cushion under him when Darren began jackrabbiting into him. Darren draped his body over Nate, and Nate could feel his lover’s body heat branding his back as Darren fucked his ass hard.

Nate gasped and moaned loudly. Darren’s passion was overwhelming and Nate felt like he was going to black out from the pleasure Darren was giving him. “Oh yes… God…”

“You like that?” Darren said, his voice dark with lust.

“Oh god, yes!” Nate groaned with Darren’s powerful thrusts. “Ahh…”

Nate gripped onto the armrest and began pushing his ass back to meet Darren’s thrusts. “Oh my god…”

Darren’s hips collided with Nate’s ass and the wet sound of skin slapping skin echoed in the room as Nate continued to roll his hips. Nate buried his face into the cushions, letting the soft material muffle his moans and whimpers. “Oh… oh…!”

Darren’s hands roamed all over his back before resting on his ass cheeks. They gripped firmly, drawing out more cries of pleasure. Nate could feel the warm glow of his climax building and coiling in his body as his muscles began to tighten.

“Ohhh… god…oh… yes! Oh god, I’m coming…,” Nate cried out, looking back at the man that was plunging into him as he came.

Darren followed right behind him, spilling his load all over Nate’s back before collapsing on top of him.

Darren reached for his hand, threading their fingers, and held on tight. He kissed Nate’s neck and shoulders, like he couldn’t get enough of him.

“I love you,” Nate heard Darren say, breathlessly. “God, I love you so much.”

Nate’s heart thumped in his chest when he heard Darren’s words. So many emotions warred against each other in his head that he couldn’t think straight. He closed his eyes when he felt the moisture begin to collect. He wasn’t quite sure if they were the tears of joy or sorrow.

Darren took him again in the shower, pressing him against the steam-warmed tiles of the shower wall, lifting him clean off the ground as he rutted into him. All Nate could do was hold on to the man, like he was a leaf in the wind, as he drowned in the presence of the man and the ecstasy the man brought him.

He blacked out briefly when his orgasm over took him, and by the time he came back to himself, Darren had lowered him back onto the floor. He was held securely in Darren’s arms and the man was washing his body lovingly as he pecked kisses onto his shoulders.

That night, Nate lay sleepless in Darren’s arms even though he was dead tired from the sex they'd had. Darren’s words echoed loudly in his ears, and Nate could feel the tears coming back and threatening to escape.

I love you too
, Nate had wanted to say, but he was afraid.

He was afraid of what it would mean.

How did this happen? He was so careful.

You broke your own rules
, a voice said in his head.
You need to get out, while you still can.

But he didn’t want to leave. How could he?

You’ll have to
, another voice sounded in his head.

No!

Nate sobbed silently into the pillow as he felt his heart break into a million shards.

* * *

Nate woke up early the next morning and found himself, once again, at Pier 11 overlooking the East River. The water taxis zipped in and out of the slips, leaving nothing but a ripple that would eventually smooth out into nothing.

Kind of like him. Walking through life leaving nothing but a few ripples.

His eyes were swollen from crying himself to sleep, and the chilled air stung his puffy lids.

So this was it, then. Nate took a deep breath to fight back the urge to cry again.

He took his phone out of his coat pocket, and dialed a set of numbers he hadn’t had to call in a long time.

“Hello?”

“Darcy,” Nate said quietly. “It’s me.”

“Ethan! Everything all right?” Darcy greeted happily but then he seemed to have sensed the ominous air from across the wires.

“I’m ending this engagement,” Nate answered with a sniff of his nose. “I can’t… I… I need to get out.”

“Ethan?”

“Everything is fine,” Nate tried to reassure his agent. “I’m just… tired of this. I’m out.”

“What do you mean, you’re out?”

“I’m out. As in, I’m quitting.” Nate sighed. “Forever. Out of the game. Done.”

“Ethan—”

“Don’t. Don’t try and stop me.” Nate stopped Darcy before he could say more. “I told you when I signed on that I can’t and won’t be doing this forever. It’s time.”

Darcy sighed. “I know. It’s just…”

“Anyways. I called just to let you know I’m out,” Nate said. “Try not to miss me too much.”

“You know I will, jerk,” Darcy quipped, but Nate could hear the regret in his voice.

“I see you around, jackass.”

Darren was waiting for him by the time Nate got back to Darren’s apartment.

“Where’ve you been? I woke up and you weren’t there—”

“I went for a walk,” Nate answered coldly.

“You all right, babe?” Darren pulled Nate into his arms. He was wearing a robe on top of his boxer briefs, and the heat of his chest almost crumbled Nate’s resolve. “I’m just worried, that’s all.”

Nate pushed away from Darren’s arms and sat down on the armrest of the couch. He clasped his hands between his knees as he watched Darren pull on a pair of jeans and a sweater. His wavy black hair hung loosely from his forehead and Nate had the sudden urge to brush it back for him.

“I’m leaving,” Nate said calmly as Darren came back into the living room.

“What?” Darren froze.

“I said, I’m leaving.”

“You’re not staying for the rest of the day?”

“No. I’m leaving. Leaving you.” Nate closed his eyes as he said. Nate didn’t think he could bear looking at Darren as the man realized what he was saying.

“What? Why?”

“This full-time thing just isn’t working, Darren.” Nate opened his eyes but he couldn’t see Darren clearly as moisture began to collect in his eyes.

“Why?” Darren’s shoulder slumped like someone had killed his favorite puppy. Maybe what he did wasn’t that far off, Nate though to himself. “I thought you were happy here. I thought you were happy with me?”

“It’s a good arrangement,” Nate heard the speech he’d prepared tumble out of his lips. “But I need to see other clients. This exclusive thing isn’t working for me.”

Nate stood up, put his hat back on and made his way to the door.

“No, I don’t believe that.” Darren grabbed onto Nate’s wrist, tight enough to be uncomfortable.

“Believe what you want, it won’t change a thing,” Nate said, trying to pull his wrist back from Darren’s hands. “Darcy will be in touch to settle your account.”

“Wait!” Darren said. “Just tell me one thing.”

“What?”

“Tell me that you don’t love me.”

I can’t, because I do love you
, Nate wanted to say, but he knew he couldn’t.

Instead, he said, calmly, “I’ve never loved you.”

He struggled out of Darren’s hold on his wrist and ran out the door. Riding in the elevator down to the lobby, he could no longer stop the tears from spilling out. He sobbed and banged his fist on the brass panels of the elevator as he slid down to the floor.

The elevator dinged as it arrived at the lobby. Wiping his tears, he walked quickly out of the elevator towards the door.

“Nate! Wait!”

Darren’s voice sounded from behind him as he stood by the road to hail for a cab.

“Darren, I told you—”

“I don’t care. I don’t believe that you never loved me.” Darren leaned forward and kissed him. “I know, in my heart, that you love me. I just know.”

“Let go.” Nate struggled against Darren’s hold. “Let go of me!”

“No. I will never let go.”

Nate yanked his arm harder and finally pulled away from Darren.

And into oncoming traffic.

Chapter 5

The last thing Nate remembered before the darkness was the bright light in his eyes. He woke slowly, confused. He blinked open his eyes but he could barely keep them open.

There were noises around him. Lights. And people talking. Shouting.

And everything hurts.

He groaned then shut his eyes again. If he wasn’t awake it wouldn’t hurt as much, right?

He woke again and he was somewhere else. There were still people around him, but everything was swaying from side to side. He didn’t hurt as much as before—in fact, he felt euphoric and kind of giddy—but he was just so damn sleepy.

And then, he was lying back, with rows of harsh overhead lights running past him.

“What do we have?”

“Vehicular accident. Patient is a Caucasian male, five-eleven, a hundred and seventy pounds. BP is low at ninety over sixty, but holding steady. Possible mild concussion. Nothing seems broken but he was in and out of consciousness the whole time.”

“All right, let’s get him on the bed.”

He groaned at the pain as they moved his body, then passed out again.

When he came to, he could hear things beeping around him, like an artificial symphony. He groaned at the stiffness in his body as he tried to raise his head.

He still ached all over, but it was dull and muted somehow. Except for his head—it felt like his skull was about to split open.

“Oh, good, you’re awake,” a cheerful female voice said, which made him look to the left. The woman had a pair of scrubs on. Must be one of the nurses, he thought.

“What happened?” He tried to raise his hands before he noticed the IV that was going into the back of his hand.

“You were in an accident. Got hit by a car.” The nurse answered. “You were lucky though. Nothing broken except for a sprained ankle and some scrapes and bruises. You do have mild concussion though. That's what’s causing the headache.”

“Where’s my phone?”

“Here. All of your stuff is in this bag.” The nurse dug a clear plastic bag filled with his things out from the closet. “You’re going to have to stay for another twenty-four hours for observations because of the concussion, so I suggest you get comfortable.”

Nate sighed as he slumped back into bed. Great.

“I’ll come by again when the IV’s done,” the nurse said as she checked off a few things on his chart. “By the way, I’m Daphne, just in case you need to get a hold of me.”

“Nice to meet you, Daphne.”

“I have to say though, I was so touched when I heard about your boyfriend,” Daphne said with a smirk as she made her way out of the room. “The ER nurses said he refused to leave your side. The doctors had to kick him out of the treatment room. That was so sweet.”

Nate sighed. Darren. Even better. “Where is he now?”

“He stayed the entire morning until he got a call, then some woman came and dragged him away.” Daphne grinned. “He said he’d be back though.”

Nate watched Daphne stroll out of the room before groaning at the mess he was in.

He dug the phone out of the plastic bag. There was a message from Darren.

Sorry I had to leave, but I’ll be back as soon as I can. Rest well. I’ll see you soon. Love you, D.

Nate stared at the message and felt like crying again.

God… If you’re listening. Please…