The Boys of Summer (34 page)

Sure, he probably thought I was crazy, but
what did I care? Judge away. The opinion of the Onslow Boys meant
bugger all to me at this point, and all I cared about was working
on my alcoholically fuelled buzz.

I squeezed onto the esky next to Sean. As I
took a deep swig, I could feel his eyes burning into the side of
me.

“
What
?” I snapped, glaring at him,
challenging him. The light of the fire accentuated the twinkle in
his eye as he fought not to smile.

“Your lips are swallon,” he said. “Looks like
pash rash.”

There was no danger of that, I thought. Lips
hadn’t touched mine in six whole days, and those particular lips
never would again. I thought about Toby’s lips on Angela’s and
wanted to throw my drink. I wanted to start walking again, away
from here, away from these people, away from everything. I was so
angry I couldn’t bear it. The wine fueled my fire instead of
numbing it.

Not-too-distant laughter broke me out of my
thoughts. I noticed two snickering idiots, Carla and Peter, two of
Scott’s friends from school. How did they get up here? Was no place
sacred? They had always taken great delight in making me miserable.
They walked by, and Carla elbowed Peter and laughed behind her hand
at me.

“Friends of yours?” Sean asked.

I looked down at my drink and started picking
the label off. “Doesn’t matter where you go in this town, you
always run into someone you don’t want to.”

My voice was lower, calmer. I was weary. It
seemed like I’d rolled through anger; I could only guess I was
spiraling into self-pity as I let the judgmental snickers affect
me.

Sean leaned in and spoke quietly into my
ear.

“Do you want to go for a walk?” His brows
were furrowed in concern. I looked around the people at the Point,
including Carla and Peter, and I decided that it was exactly what I
wanted to do.

“Grab me another drink, okay?”

Sean sighed. “Yes, ma’am.”

We trudged through the darkness and navigated
the rocky terrain far enough away that the sounds of laughter and
music from a car stereo grew faint. A cylinder of light and sparks
shone into the sky from the fire. We walked in the opposite
direction at the base of sloping rocks behind the shack of the fire
lookout. The moon was full and high enough in the sky for me to
make out Sean’s broad back as I carefully followed him.

Sean effortlessly wove down the path in a
fast stride, my drink dangling from his fingers. I stopped and
leaned against a boulder to catch my breath.

“Wait,” I huffed, “slow down.”

Sean paused, turning back.

“One of your steps is equal to, like, six of
mine.” I could make out the brilliant white of his teeth. He tilted
and looked at my legs.

“Sorry, I forgot.”

I reached out for my drink. He held it
towards me but just as I was about to take it he lifted it out of
my reach.

“Don’t be a dick.” I jumped but he held it up
and away.

With hands on my hips, I glared at him and
hoped there was enough moonlight to show my murderous look. Sean
lowered the bottle and just as I reached for it, he lifted it again
with a laugh.

“You’re such a fucking child!”

“Am not times infinity, no returns.”

I tried not to laugh but couldn’t help it and
leaned against the rock, arms crossed, refusing to play the game.
Sean handed me my drink and joined me against the rock as I twisted
the top off. The metallic snap and hiss of bubbles from his can as
he opened it pierced the silence.

We both took a swig.

“Can I ask you a personal question?” Sean
flicked the ring of his can away into the darkness.

I followed suit and threw my bottle top. “I
guess.” I suddenly felt uneasy.

“What’s going on with you and Toby?”

Any momentary light mood Sean had put me in
was overshadowed by a searing pain as my mind flashed back to
Angela’s red Lancer behind Toby’s ute. I turned away, hoping he
hadn’t noticed my reaction.

“Nothing, why?”

“Just wondered.”

I looked back at him. “Yeah, well, there’s
absolutely
nothing
going on.”

Sean’s eyes narrowed in thought, looking at
me as if he was weighing something up in his mind, his expression
unreadable as he took in my answer.

“Fair enough.” We were quiet for a moment.
“Can I ask another personal question?”

I sighed and tilted my head at him in
annoyance. It made him smile.

“Can I kiss you?”

Wait … what? All thoughts, good and bad,
evaporated from my mind. Sean gazed up at the stars, as if he
hadn’t said a word, hadn’t asked me that bonkers question. An
outrageous question, a question that had me thinking, and then
moving and him looking down at me. And then the next thing I knew I
was kissing Sean Murphy.

Maybe it was the buzz of the alcohol?

Or the secluded darkness and the attraction I
had always had for Sean, but as he lifted me and pressed me against
the rock I knew that it was all in an effort to forget. I kissed
Sean so fiercely it had taken him back initially, his brows raising
in surprise as my hands wrapped around his neck, my tongue slipping
inside his mouth. Sean broke away breathless, holding my wrists and
looking down at me like I was a stranger. Then, as if reading my
pleading gaze, silently telling him that this was what I wanted,
what I needed, he pinned me against the rock and met my urgent,
forceful kisses. As our mouths feasted on one another, I knew it
was exactly what I needed. My mind was clearing, erasing every
touch, every memory, every moment with Toby Morrison. And as Sean
lifted my leg to bend around his waist, I wanted to hurt Toby, hurt
him like he hurt me. A new excitement ran through me, a new urge as
I moved and moaned against Sean’s muscular frame, his arms pinning
me in like a cage, lifting me as if I weighed nothing. I wrapped my
other leg around his waist and gasped at the new pleasure I felt as
he pressed in between the junction of my thighs. Now all thoughts
of anyone else were gone as I was blinded by the thrill that
threatened to surge as Sean’s hips rocked into me. We were fully
clothed but with heated, passionate kisses and touches I was on the
edge, and as his hand slipped from my breast to between my legs and
his friction intensified, the pleasure so intense, so unexpected, I
screamed into his shoulder and went limp in his arms. Sean’s groans
ebbed as my own died and he slumped, his weight on me pinned me to
the cold slab that stung through my shirt and, what I suspected,
grazed my back now I could feel the sting.

Hot breaths heated my neck, and then Sean’s
gravelly voice half laughed in my ear.

“Christ! I haven’t come that hard since high
school.” He chuckled and kissed my neck.

I let the aftershock of my climax ride over
me; I felt the wet patch and the bulge pressing against me from
Sean’s jeans. I pressed my face into the alcove of Sean’s neck, and
sobbed. I sobbed so hard and so violently my body shook. All my
hurt, anger, confusion and shame flooded through me.

“Hey, hey, hey … what’s wrong?” He cupped my
face, forcing me to look into his worried eyes.

“What’s wrong, did I hurt you?”

I laughed through the tears. “Hurt me? No.”
God, if only he knew what he just did to me. “I’m sorry.” I broke
away, straightened my clothes and fixed my hair. I tried to wipe my
face.

“This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have come
here with you.”

Sean rubbed my arm. “Do you want to go
home?”

I hiccupped and nodded. “I’m sorry,” I
whispered.

He smiled. “Hey, don’t be, come on.”

We walked back to the group, moving slower
this time and together. Sean kept glancing at me as he stepped over
rocks and steadied me as I went along. As we walked back into the
clearing of the Point, Sean pulled his shirt over his crotch and I
straightened my skirt and top. We rounded the corner of the old
fire shack and walked right into the path of Carla and Peter. Their
stunned gazes roamed over our dishevelled states, my bloodshot
eyes, our kiss-swollen lips. They exchanged knowing smirks and
walked off without a word, whispering and snickering to each
other.

I couldn’t take any more. I had never felt so
ashamed; I had used Sean and behaved in a way … who was that girl
out in the bush with him? She didn’t seem like Tess, that’s for
sure.

***

I squinted one sleepy eye open as my phone
chimed. A text message.

Breakfast at the Diner you dirty stop
out
. From: Ellie.

I had disappeared on her last night without a
word, something we promised not to do to one another, so I figured
I owed her. Plus, I had to tell her that my Toby phase was well and
truly over and that I didn’t want to talk about him, ever again. My
summer was to enter a new phase and this one didn’t involve the
Onslow Boys – any of them. It was the only way I could see
surviving with my reputation intact, not to mention my sanity.

I was exhausted, my hair still damp from my
hot shower – a useless attempt to get rid of my hangover. Stupid
West Coast Coolers. It really was the devil’s brew.

A block away from the Caltex diner my phone
chimed a message from Ellie:

Toby’s here :)

A cold shiver ran down my spine. She thought
she was passing on good news. I paused and contemplated going home
again, but then squared my shoulders, held my head up high and kept
walking.

Sure enough, a long line of cars parked out
the front, and right in the middle of the car park was Toby’s navy
Ford ute. I recalled the vague mutterings of the Onslow Boys’
fishing trip. Was that today? All of a sudden, I felt grateful for
stopping by his house; it would prevent me from mooning over him
and making an even bigger fool of myself than I had already. Even
though my head tried to convince myself, my heart wasn’t buying it
for a second.

I pushed through the door. The Caltex booths
that lined the front windows were packed and, as usual, the place
was a hub of activity. Sunday mornings were always chaotic at the
Caltex, a regular meeting point before people set out on their
lake-bound adventures. More importantly, you could fuel up on
greasy eggs and bacon after a boozy Saturday night. My stomach
churned; I couldn’t think of anything worse. A sea of inquisitive
eyes rested on me, including Toby’s. A boyish smile lit his face
when he looked up from his menu; I never hated him more because my
traitorous heart still skipped a beat at the very sight of him. I
exchanged niceties and said hello to everyone and no one in
particular, making a point of not looking at him. The Onslow Boys
and company occupied two booths; there was only one space left and
mercifully it wasn’t in Toby’s booth.

Everyone slid sideways and bunched up a
little closer to allow me space; Sean moved his things and shifted
without a beat even though he was in deep debate with Stan who sat
opposite with Ellie. I didn’t even mind the fact I was wedged in
next to Sean. When he dropped me home last night, we had agreed our
tryst in the bush would be our secret. Even now, the fact he didn’t
offer me a reassuring smile made me grateful and relax a little.
Unfortunately, the line of our U shaped booth had me sitting
directly back to back with Toby. He was so agonisingly close, I
could feel the seat dip and shift every time he moved.

Ellie beamed at me and raised her brows as if
I was sitting in the best seat in the house. It seemed to take all
her effort not to give me a double thumbs up, and I was definitely
grateful that she didn’t. Sean slid me a menu.

“Something to reline the stomach?”

“Coffee to reignite my shattered soul.”

He laughed. “With a dash of fruit-flavored
wine?”

“Sean, I swear if you don’t stop talking, I
will claw your face off.”

Sean cat-called and laughed a deep, happy
laugh in typical Sean fashion. I smiled back. Even though we had
overstepped a massive line last night, nothing had changed. That
was something, at least. I tried to swallow the nauseous feeling
that swelled in the pit of my stomach; being so close to Toby was
killing me. When it came to him, no matter what beautiful, friendly
and totally oblivious smile he threw my direction, I knew nothing
would be okay with us. I tried not to let my heart spike each time
I heard his voice from behind me, I felt the clamminess of my hands
trying to keep my breaths even. Being so close to him, to Sean, I
couldn’t take it. I had to get out of there.

“Where did you get to last night, anyhow?”
Ellie tried for mad, but she was more curious then anything.

Sean didn’t flinch, but I must have shifted
uneasily, and the booth behind me shifted with movement, and I
watched Toby pass and walk towards the counter. He was back with
Angela. I meant nothing to him. My misery spiral was interrupted by
the sound of skin sliding against vinyl.

“Hey, did any of you hear about last night?”
Amanda’s elbows appeared over from the other booth and rested on
the back of our seat between Sean’s head and mine.

I gripped the salt shaker.

“No doubt we’re about to,” mused Stan.

Amanda looked around like she was some
A-grade spy before she continued.

“Guess who’s back in town?” Her eyes lit with
excitement.

She had all our attentions now.

“Angela Vickers,” she whispered, perhaps a
bit too loudly, as she flicked a glance towards the counter.

The salt shaker flew out of my hand and
rolled across the table. Sean grabbed it and gave me a weird look
as he placed it back in the holder.

“So?” Sean snapped as he moved his head away
to avoid Amanda’s elbow.

“
So
, apparently she went round to
Toby’s last night.”

Ellie’s eyes widened, her gaze darted to me,
and I was all but ready to get up and leave. The last thing I
needed was details.