The Calling (27 page)

Cate choked out a small laugh, “I don’t know how courageous it is, but I do know that I want to be totally surrendered and obedient to God. There was a time in my life when I wasn’t. I married the wrong man because I was afraid to say, ‘God I’ll do whatever you want me to do.’ I messed up my life and others’ too. But, I’m not afraid of surrender anymore.” She paused, changed her position in her chair, and continued. “Dr. Patterson, there’s something else that I need your advice about.”

“I’ll do my best,” he said, in a fatherly tone.

“This ordeal with Miss Janet has made me think a lot about what she said. I know that God has forgiven me for the rebellion that led to my marriage to Justin, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m divorced. I didn’t want the divorce, but that doesn’t change anything. I know many people feel the way Miss Janet does. They’re convinced that divorce disqualifies a person for lots of things. My dad told me that God in his forgiveness has made me fit to serve Him, but there are Christians who don’t believe that. I–I don’t know how…”

“My dear, if we repent and confess them, God forgives all our sins, but He doesn’t remove all of the consequences. His forgiveness is eternal, but we often have to deal with the temporal consequences of our sin. Unfortunately, your divorce is one of those temporal consequences.”

“Yes, sir,” Cate said, with a tone of dejection.

“However, there are other things that you need to consider,” he added. He had Cate’s full attention.

“Like what, sir?”

“Cate, God’s forgiveness gives renewed fellowship, fullness of His presence, the opportunity to be back in the center of His will, and the opportunity for service, joy, meaning, and purpose. I’ve seen that purpose-in you.”

“I’m glad.”

“There’s something else. This concerns your marriage. If I understand correctly you thought your husband was a Christian when you married him, but he wasn’t. Is that correct?”

“Yes, that’s right,”

“And, he left you for another woman?”

Cate sighed and her shoulders sagged, “Yes, sir.”

“I’d like to remind you of two things. The Bible gives us guidance in both areas. First, you married a man who was not a Christian. In first Corinthians 7: 14 Paul tells us that one who is married to an unbeliever should seek to be the kind of godly example that He can use to win them to Himself. You sought to do that. Correct?”

“Yes, sir. I tried, but…I failed.”

“Cate, we
never
fail when we seek to follow God’s word. He can take our feeble efforts empowered by His Spirit, and work a miracle in hearts and lives that respond to Him. Your husband refused to respond, and he left you. In first Corinthians 7: 15, Paul tells us that if the unbelieving spouse leaves, the believer is not morally bound to the marriage vows. Secondly, in the gospels, Jesus tells us that adultery is biblical grounds for divorce.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Cate, you’re divorced, that’s true, but it’s also true that there were biblical grounds for your divorce. Therefore, according to God’s word-you’re free to remarry.”

“So, you’re telling me that even though I’m divorced, that biblically I’m not disqualified from being remarried.”

“Exactly my dear, and, there’s more. I want you to understand that regardless of what people like Janet say, God can use you. God has a habit of using those whom others think are unusable.”

Shifting uncomfortably in her seat, Cate looked at the Pattersons and confessed, “Dr. Patterson, I appreciate what you’ve said, but there’s something no one here knows, and I’d like, no, I need to tell you both.’

“Of course, my dear,”

“When I married Justin, I was rebelling against becoming a preacher’s wife, David Barnes’ wife in fact. By the time, I realized my mistake, I was already married. After Jenny died, when David came to Kansas, I realized that I was still in love with him, but I was divorced and he was an IMB missionary, so there was no hope for us. So you see, even though God’s word says I can remarry,” she choked back a sob, “I can’t marry the man I love.”

“Oh, my dear, I’m so sorry,” Mrs. Patterson said.

“Does he love you?” Dr. Patterson asked.

“I don’t know, but I came awfully close today to telling him how I felt. I stopped because I knew God was telling me to leave Ecuador and I have no idea what God is going to do with me.”

“Cate, I’m afraid I can’t tell you what God is going to do, or if you and David will ever work out, but I realize you think that you and David might be able to be together,
if
he wasn’t an IMB missionary.”

“Dr. Patterson, I don’t know if that’s true or not. I don’t even know if he loves me-or wants me.”

“I’m afraid I can’t solve your dilemma as far as David’s feelings go, but I can tell you that David’s calling to be a missionary doesn’t mean that he has to be an
IMB missionary
.”

“He loves his ministry and all the people,” Cate’s eyes held a far away look, “I can’t see him
not
being an IMB missionary. If I ever remarry,” she sighed, “I don’t think it’ll be him.”

“I’m sorry my dear. I hope I’ve helped-a little,” Dr. Patterson said.

“You’ve helped more than you know,” Cate responded, as she saw how late it was. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize the time; I hope I haven’t kept you up too long.”

“You haven’t at all,” Dr. Patterson said.

“Friends always take precedence over bedtime,” Mrs. Patterson said.

“We are honored that you confided in us and asked our counsel,” Dr. Patterson added.

“You’re both very kind. If it’s all right, I’d like to turn in.”

“Of course, my dear, you must be very tired,” Mrs. Patterson said.

“Yes, I am,”

“And, Cate please make our home yours for whatever time that you’re here,” Mrs. Patterson said.

“Thank you very much. Goodnight to you both,” Cate rose and went to her bedroom, She spent time in prayer and meditation as she considered what might lay ahead for her, and fell asleep while doing so.

The following day found Cate with the fixed resolve of being completely obedient to God and leaving her future in His hands. She spent time in Bible study and prayer, dressed, went in for breakfast, and called the airport to arrange her flight home.

Discovering that a flight was leaving at six o’clock that night, she knew that she would have to hurry to get everything in place so she could leave.

It was three o’clock in the afternoon by the time she finished everything. Dr. Patterson insisted that he and Mrs. Patterson drive her to the airport. When they arrived, Dr. Patterson helped her with her luggage.

She checked in, thanked the Pattersons again for their hospitality and told them goodbye. Cate spent her last few minutes in Ecuador thanking God for the opportunity of serving Him there, and asking Him to prepare her and strengthen her for whatever was ahead. She asked that He take special care of David and Sarah, and confessed that leaving them was probably the most difficult part of leaving Ecuador.

*****

 She didn’t arrive in Kansas City until two o’clock in the morning. After she had passed through customs, she found her parents waiting patiently for her. She tearfully grabbed them and hugged them tightly.

“How are you doing Catie?” her dad asked.

“I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?” her mom asked.

“I’m sure. Let’s get my luggage and I’ll explain on the way home,” Cate answered with a calmness that surprised her parents. “Dad, Mom I want to try to explain why I came home.”

Her parents listened with rapt attention.

“First, you need to know that coming home was my choice, or rather God’s. Dr. Kennedy gave me the opportunity to stay, but I felt God leading me to resign and come home. Yet, I don’t know why; I’m totally bewildered.”

“Cate, you’re sure about this?”

“Yes, mom I am.”

“Well, Catie. If you are sure of His leading, He will bless your obedience,” her dad said.

“But, Dad,
I
don’t understand.”

“Understanding is not essential, obedience is. If you’ll leave it in God’s hands and continue to obey, He’ll reveal the next step.”

“Okay, Dad, but this walking by faith and not by sight thing is hard.”

“I know Catie, but it’s the only way to please God.”

Her mother, who had been listening thoughtfully, decided to add her testimony. “Cate, I know living by faith is difficult, and sometimes God calls us to go through hard things so our faith in Him can be perfected. I can tell you by experience that walking with Him can bring great joy as we realize how faithful and trustworthy He is.”

Cate spent the following weeks trying to be open to God and to discern his leading. During this time, God’s presence was very real, and His fellowship was sweet as she quietly meditated upon His Word and prayed. She sensed that He was saying, “Trust Me. Depend on Me,” and she was determined to do that.

As the weeks passed, her parents were a constant source of encouragement. They prayed with her, counseled her, and loved her. They were, as they had always been, examples of practical Christianity.

Two and a half months had passed when her mother called her to the phone. When she answered the phone, she heard Matthew’s voice on the other end.

“Hello Cate, how are you?”

“I’m doing well.”

“Really? I’m glad. I’ve got news that may help you do even better.”

Cate held her breath, “What news?”

“Miss Janet has decided to retire. Her last day at the mission school is Friday.”

“Why did she do that?”

“I’m not sure, but perhaps it’s a guilty conscience over how she treated you.”

“Matthew, I’m not sure how you expect me to react to that, but I wish Miss Janet no ill will.”

“I didn’t think you did, but I did hope, as does everyone else, that the news would cause you to consider returning here to teach.”

There was silence on Cate’s end. Afraid of what the silence meant, Matthew tried again.

“Cate, won’t you please consider returning to Ecuador?”

“Matthew, I don’t know. I’ll pray about it.”

Matthew tried another approach. “Cate, my dad asked me to tell you that he really wishes you would come back.”

“I’ll pray about it, but I can’t promise anything.”

Matthew chuckled, “I’ll just have to leave it in the Lord’s hands.”

“By the way, how is everyone?”

“Everyone misses you.”

“I miss everyone too,” she heard Kim in the background.

“Matthew, let me talk to her.”

Kim came on the line, “Cate please come back. It’s not the same without you.”

“Kim, it’s nice to hear your voice.”

“Yours too, and I
am
serious about what I said. You’d make a little girl and a big boy very happy if you’d come back.”

“I know, I miss Sarah and Matthew too.”

“I don’t mean Matthew. I mean David.” Kim’s implication could not be missed.

“David...”

“Yes, David. He loves you, Cate.”

Cate held her breath, “Why do you say that?”

“Because it’s true, I made him admit it.”

“What?” Cate couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“Since you’ve been gone, he’s been moping around as if he’s lost his best friend. Suspecting you were the source of his sadness, I shared my suspicions with Matthew, and he agreed with me. When we confronted David he tried to change the subject. I decided to ask him point blank if he loved you. When I did, he admitted it.”

“Kim, I’m sorry. I know you’re in love with him. I-I never meant-”

“Yeah, about that… I thought I loved him, but I suspected all along that he didn’t love me. Now, I realize that I never really was in love with him. Rather, I was in love with the thought of being in love. David and I were over before you left.”

“Really…”

“Yep, we broke up before the whole thing with Miss Janet began. I’m sorry I never told you about it, but at the time, I was really mad at him and jealous of you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay now. I’ve found someone that I might have a chance with.”

“That’s great. Who?”

“That would be me,” Matthew said, as he and Kim shared the phone.

“Matthew,” Cate’s voice reflected her surprise, “that’s great.”

“We might have found each other sooner had we not been detoured by you and David,” Matthew joked.

“Sorry,” Cate wondered if he really was joking.

“That’s enough about us. Let’s get back to David and you,” Kim interrupted.

“Cate,
are
you in love with David?”

“Like you have to ask,” Matthew said.

“Ssssh!” Kim scolded. “Cate
are
you?”

Hesitating a moment, Cate answered, “Yes, I am.”

“So come back, and
do something
about it,” Kim said.

“I can’t. The fact that we love each other doesn’t change the fact that we can’t be together.”

“It’s the divorce thing again. Isn’t it?” Matthew asked.

“Yep.”

“But, you two should be together,” Kim said.

“We can’t be. He’s an IMB missionary. If he marries me, he loses his ministry, and I know him well enough to know that he’d never do that. And I wouldn’t want him to.”

“No, Cate you’re wrong.” Matthew’s voice had the same warm, counseling tone of his father. “He wouldn’t lose his ministry. He’d lose his financial backing, not his ministry.”

“To him that’s the same thing. He’s convinced, as I am, that God led him to serve as a church planter in Ecuador. He can’t do that without financial backing; no money, no mission. He needs the IMB.”

“No, he needs financial backing. What if another agency was willing to back him?”

“Yeah, another agency could back him,” Kim said, picking up Matthew’s cue.

Cate’s eyes widened, “You’re talking about your agency. Aren’t you Matthew?”

“Sure, I am. My agency could back him and that would solve the dilemma so he could marry you.”

“I’m not sure that he’ll go for it.” A multitude of thoughts swirled through Cate’s head, “I don’t know that what you’re proposing is God’s will for him, or me.”

“Neither do I, but I’m going to make the offer to David, and we’ll all pray and leave it in God’s hands.”