The Chance: A Novel (31 page)

His answer was as honest as the good way he was feeling. “I want to.”

As they left the bowling alley, two kids asked for his autograph. Nolan complied and smiled for a picture with them before he and Kari crossed the parking lot for his car. She looked at him, impressed maybe, or intrigued. “You handled that well. Very kind.”

“Thanks. The kids are great.” Nolan slowed his pace, in no hurry. “It’s the adults, the ones who’ll sell your signature. They take a little more patience.”

“Hmm.” Kari looked up at him. “I never thought about that.”

“Doesn’t happen often.” He grinned at her. “I don’t get out much.”

She laughed. “That explains your bowling game.”

He wore jeans and a black V-neck T-shirt, the sort of outfit that would blend in at most coffee shops. But his height gave him away, caused people to look twice, and sometimes that was all it took. They had barely ordered their coffee when a group of girls approached him, gushing over his win and asking him to sign their arms and the backs of their shirts.

Nolan complied quickly and then whisked Kari to the back of the coffee shop. Atlanta was home to most of the country’s rappers and a great number of pop artists. A couple of hit TV series filmed here, too. Usually, the clientele at Breve didn’t come undone over a celebrity sighting.

“Sorry.” He set his coffee on the table and took the seat with his back to the rest of the café. “It’s the play-offs.”

“I love how you take it in stride.” She sat opposite him.

“Yeah, well . . . tell me about you.” He genuinely wanted to
know. “You’re making an album, right? That’s what my manager said.”

“I am.” She sipped her coffee. Now that the conversation was more serious, the walls around her heart seemed to lower just a bit.

“Your mom can help.”

“Yes and no. She’s amazing. Everyone knows her music.” Kari smiled. “The comparisons will always be there.”

They talked about her determination to find her own way in music and her appreciation for her mother’s help. The conversation remained easy as they sipped their coffees and as Nolan asked for her number. “You know.” He winked. “In case I need to text you for bowling tips.”

She laughed, and again Nolan thought that the moment felt real and comfortable. He wanted to stay here with this girl as long as she would let him, and for the next half hour no one bothered them. It took that long before she asked the question. “So, Nolan Cook. Is there a girl in your heart?”

If she’d asked any other way, he could’ve told her no. There was no girl in his life, no girl waiting at home for his call. No girl he was texting or calling. He stared at his half-empty coffee just long enough to give himself away.

She sat back, her smile still in place. “Tell me about her.”

And like that, the conversation turned to Ellie. Nolan sighed. “I met her in third grade.” He laughed easily, but he could feel his heart going back, traveling down the old familiar road in a way he was helpless to stop. “I haven’t seen her in eleven years.”

Kari’s eyes showed her surprise. “She’s the girl in your heart? And you haven’t seen her since you were teenagers?”

“It’s a long story.” He wasn’t sure how wise it was, talking to
Kari Garrett about Ellie. But he couldn’t help himself. He liked talking about Ellie with someone other than Dexter. “We were fifteen when she moved away.” He laughed, but only to hide his pain. “I was going to marry her. We . . . we didn’t mean to lose touch.”

“Oh.” Kari looked like she wasn’t sure what to say next. “That’s sad.” She took another sip of her coffee. “You tried to find her?”

“You could say that.” He wrapped his hands around the base of his coffee cup and let his eyes settle on hers. “My dad died of a heart attack the spring after Ellie left. The two run together in my mind. I’m still trying to figure it out.”

“Yeah.” Her smile seemed forced. “I can see that.” She breathed in deep and reached for her phone. “We should probably go. It’s late.”

Only then did Nolan realize that the walls she’d let down minutes ago were up now. Firmly in place. He’d said too much. Kari was fun and pretty, and she shared his love for God. He would’ve had fun hanging out with her again, but now . . . “I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re fine.” She laughed, though there was nothing funny. This was the same Kari he’d climbed into his car with earlier that night. The one good at preventing awkward silences. “Thanks for tonight.” She stood and grabbed her purse. “I had fun. Really.”

“No, that was dumb.” He laughed, too, but more out of frustration. “It’s been eleven years.”

As they left the coffee shop, Kari shifted the conversation back to their time bowling. “I should think about investing in a pair of shoes. You know, like the pros.”

Even as she kept things light, Nolan silently chided himself
for talking about Ellie. He had ruined things with Kari before they started. All because of a girl he hadn’t seen since they were kids. Ellie could be married or living out of the country, for all he knew.

On the way to his car, a lone photographer stepped out of a dark doorway and caught a dozen pictures of them before Nolan put his arm around Kari’s shoulders and hurried her across the street, away from the parking lot. They could walk around the block, take the long way. But by then it was too late. The guy had what he wanted, and an hour from now he would have sold the pictures to a handful of paparazzi websites and magazines.

Other NBA guys could avoid being fodder for the gossip rags, but not Nolan. When he and Kari were finally inside the car, he grabbed the steering wheel, glanced at her and groaned. “Sorry about that.”

She laughed. “It’s okay. People love a good story.” On the drive back to her car, she entertained him with tales from her mother’s recent tour. Conversation seemed to come naturally for her, and it made him realize again what a good night he’d had. As he pulled into the Hawks’ facility, she grew quiet, and when he parked, she turned to him. “I had fun.”

“Me, too.” He still felt the tension between them, the reality that he had taken the talk about Ellie too far. “Back there, that stuff about the girl from my—”

“Nolan.” She put her hand lightly on his shoulder, but only for a few seconds. “Don’t apologize. She obviously still means a great deal to you.”

“But it was so long ago. I just . . . I need to move on.”

Again she allowed a bit of laughter. “You haven’t heard from
her in eleven years? Yeah. Probably move on.” She opened the car door. “When that happens, I’d love to hang out again.”

Resignation worked its way through him, and he sank back in his seat. “I’ll call you.”

She smiled, but her eyes told him not to make promises he didn’t mean. “Those bowling tips. I’ll be ready.” She had a brilliant way of not being the victim. She ended their time together the way it had started, with laughter and lightness. He waited until she climbed into her car and backed up before he did the same. He followed her to the exit, the whole time wrestling with himself.

What was he thinking, talking about Ellie like that? He barely knew Kari. She wasn’t wide-eyed and nervous around him, treating him like a celebrity, the way other dates had. He breathed out and let the sound settle in his soul. He didn’t blame her for ending the night when she did. As long as Ellie could still fill his conversation that easily, no girl would want to invest time in him.

If only he could get past the next month, past the first of June. The play-offs would be winding down, and if Atlanta stayed in it, he would be home, right in the middle of a three-day break. He’d already looked. The date had been etched on his soul for eleven years. No wonder he talked about Ellie. What happened now came down to a simple truth. Wherever she was, whatever she was doing, did Ellie remember?

Or was he the only one who knew the significance of tomorrow?

Twenty-four days until June first.

Chapter
Thirteen

K
inzie loved Sundays.

Tina had taken her to church since the start of first grade, and now she looked forward to Sunday all week long. Kids stayed for the first part of the service, and that was where she was right now. Sitting on the cool wood bench between Tina and Tiara, Kinzie listened to every word the pastor said.

“Sometimes it takes a while for people to find their happy-ever-after in Jesus.” The man had nice eyes, and he never yelled. Mommy said once to Tina
that she didn’t want any pastor yelling at her about what she’d done wrong. So at first Kinzie watched for that, but so far the pastor only talked with kind words. Anyway, yelling wasn’t why her mommy didn’t go to church. Sundays were cleaning day, that’s why.

“You go to church, Kinz,” she would always say. “This is my time to clean.”

Right now the pastor was talking about being nice to people who had hurt in their hearts. Hurt feelings, that’s what he meant. Kinzie was pretty sure. She looked down at her pink-and-white tennis shoes. Something had happened that morning that she didn’t tell Tina or Tiara. Mommy was at the computer, and she had her hands over her face. Kinzie watched her from the hallway, and she saw her mommy wipe her eyes. Her shoulders shook, too. So Kinzie knew for sure Mommy was crying.

She never cried in front of Kinzie, but sometimes when she didn’t think anyone was watching, she would cry. This morning Kinzie walked up real quiet and put her hand on her mommy’s back. “I’m sorry you’re sad.”

Real quick, her mommy sniffed and wiped the tears off her face. “It’s okay.” She turned around and hugged Kinzie. “I was just . . . wishing I could give you more. A different life.”

“Why?” Kinzie leaned back and put her hands on her mommy’s cheeks. “I like our life. I don’t want something different.”

Her mommy’s eyes still held tears, but she smiled and kissed Kinzie’s cheek and hugged her. “That’s my girl. How did I get so blessed to have you?”

Kinzie smiled at her mommy. “Because Jesus loves you. That’s what we learned at church.”

Her mom looked away like she didn’t really believe it. She hugged Kinzie again. “As long as
you
love me. That’s all I need.”

Lots of times Kinzie asked her mom to go to church. “You might feel better, Mommy.”

“I know.” Her eyes looked very sad. “But Sundays are when I clean the apartment. You know that.”

The pastor was still talking about people who were hurt. “It’s our job to love them, our job to show them the love of Jesus every day. And it’s our job to pray for them.”

Kinzie thought about praying for her mommy right now.
Dear Jesus, please be with my mommy and make her happy. I don’t
want it to take a long time for her to be happy. Thank you for listening. Love, Kinzie.

When the kids went to Sunday school, Kinzie colored a picture for her mom, because maybe that would make her feel better. The picture was Jesus sitting on a bench next to her mommy, and they were eating ice cream and talking about summertime.

When they got home, Tina made lunch, and Tiara helped. Kinzie ran to the bedroom where her mom was vacuuming. She held out the colored picture, and her mommy turned off the machine. “What’s this?” She took the paper and held it up. “Wow, Kinzie. You’re such a talented little artist.” Her mom sat down on her bed, and Kinzie sat beside her. “It’s beautiful. Tell me about it.”

Kinzie felt proud of her drawing, especially because her mommy said she was a good artist. She pointed to the people. “That’s you sitting with Jesus. You’re eating ice cream and talking about summer.”

“Hmmm.” Her mommy nodded. “Looks like we’re having a nice time.”

“You are.” She stared up into her mom’s blue eyes. “Pastor said some people take a long time to find their happy-ever-after in Jesus.”

All of a sudden tears were in her mommy’s eyes again. “I suppose that’s true.”

“But it doesn’t have to take a long time, right?”

“Well, sweetie, it’s complicated.” She patted Kinzie’s hair and stood. “I need to finish in here. Then I’ll make pancakes.” She hugged Kinzie, and she put the picture on the bed. “Thanks again for my drawing. I love it.”

As Kinzie left the room, she felt sad, because maybe it
would be a long time before her mom ever went to church. But until then she would do what the pastor asked her to do. She would pray for her mommy.

That one day soon she would find her happy-ever-after.