The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (226 page)

If York has done a bad job in France,

then let him be refused the Regency.

SOMERSET.

If Somerset be unworthy of the place,

Let York be regent; I will yield to him.

If Somerset doesn't deserve the place,

let York be Regent; I will surrender to him.

WARWICK.

Whether your grace be worthy, yea or no,

Dispute not that; York is the worthier.

The argument isn't whether your Grace is worthy or not,

it is that York is more worthy.

CARDINAL.

Ambitious Warwick, let thy betters speak.

Ambitious Warwick, let your superiors speak.

WARWICK.

The cardinal's not my better in the field.

The Cardinal is not my superior on the battlefield.

BUCKINGHAM.

All in this presence are thy betters, Warwick.

Everyone here is your superior, Warwick.

WARWICK.

Warwick may live to be the best of all.

Warwick may live to be superior to them all.

SALISBURY.

Peace, son!--and show some reason, Buckingham,

Why Somerset should be preferr'd in this.

Peace, son! Show some reason, Buckingham,

why Somerset should have preference in this matter.

QUEEN.

Because the king, forsooth, will have it so.

Because the king, by God, wants him to.

GLOSTER.

Madam, the King is old enough himself

To give his censure; these are no women's matters.

Madam, the King is old enough to give his

opinions himself; this is no business for a woman.

QUEEN.

If he be old enough, what needs your grace

To be protector of his excellence?

If he's old enough then why is your Grace

still his Regent?

GLOSTER.

Madam, I am protector of the realm,

And, at his pleasure, will resign my place.

Madam, I am protector of the kingdom,

and I shall resign my position when he wants me to.

SUFFOLK.

Resign it then, and leave thine insolence.

Since thou wert king--as who is king but thou?--

The commonwealth hath daily run to wrack;

The Dauphin hath prevail'd beyond the seas;

And all the peers and nobles of the realm

Have been as bondmen to thy sovereignty.

Then resign, and let's have no more of your insolence.

Since you have been King–for who is king apart from you?–

The country has been run into the ground;

the Dauphin has triumphed overseas;

and all the peers and nobles of the country

have been made slaves to your rule.

CARDINAL.

The commons hast thou rack'd; the clergy's bags

Are lank and lean with thy extortions.

You have stripped the assets of the common people;

the treasury of the church is empty from your extortion.

SOMERSET.

Thy sumptuous buildings and thy wife's attire

Have cost a mass of public treasury.

Your great houses and your wife's clothes

have cost a great deal of public money.

BUCKINGHAM.

Thy cruelty in execution

Upon offenders hath exceeded law,

And left thee to the mercy of the law.

Your cruelty in executing

wrongdoers has been above the law,

and left you open to the punishment of the law.

QUEEN.

Thy sale of offices and towns in France,

If they were known, as the suspect is great,

Would make thee quickly hop without thy head.--

[Exit Gloster. The Queen drops her fan..]

Give me my fan. What minion! can ye not?

[She gives the Duchess a box on the ear.]

I cry your mercy, madam; was it you?

The way you sold titles and towns in France,

if it was known, for everyone suspects,

would soon mean your head would be off–

Give me my fan. What, servant! Won't you do it?

I beg your pardon, madam; was that you?

DUCHESS.

Was 't I! yea, I it was, proud Frenchwoman.

Could I come near your beauty with my nails,

I'd set my ten commandments in your face.

Was it me! Yes, it was me, arrogant Frenchwoman.

If I could get at your beauty with my nails,

I would scratch the ten commandments into your face.

KING.

Sweet aunt, be quiet; 't was against her will.

Sweet aunt, be quiet; it was an accident.

DUCHESS.

Against her will! good king, look to 't in time;

She'll hamper thee and dandle thee like a baby.

Though in this place most master wear no breeches,

She shall not strike Dame Eleanor unreveng'd.

Accident! Good king, sort this out before it's too late.

She will block you and handle you like a baby.

Although no man seems to wear the trousers in this place,

she shall not hit Dame Eleanor without punishment.

[Exit.]

BUCKINGHAM.

Lord cardinal, I will follow Eleanor,

And listen after Humphrey, how he proceeds.

She's tickled now; her fume needs no spurs,

She'll gallop far enough to her destruction.

Lord Cardinal, I will follow Eleanor,

and listen to what Humphrey intends to do about this.

We've got her going now; her anger needs no encouragement,

she will rush on to her own downfall.

[Exit.]

[Re-enter GLOSTER.]

GLOSTER.

Now, lords, my choler being overblown

With walking once about the quadrangle,

I come to talk of commonwealth affairs.

As for your spiteful false objections,

Prove them, and I lie open to the law;

But God in mercy so deal with my soul

As I in duty love my king and country!

But, to the matter that we have in hand:

I say, my sovereign, York is meetest man

To be your regent in the realm of France.

Now, lords, I've walked off my anger

by taking a turn round the quadrangle,

and I've come to talk of the business of the country.

As for your spiteful accusations,

prove them, and I will face the punishment of the law;

but may God be as merciful with my soul

as I am dutiful and loving to my king and country!

But, as for the business in hand:

I say, my King, York is the best man

to be your representative in France.

SUFFOLK.

Before we make election, give me leave

To show some reason, of no little force,

That York is most unmeet of any man.

Before we make the choice, give me permission

to show a very good reason

why York is the most unsuitable man of anyone.

YORK.

I'll tell thee, Suffolk, why I am unmeet:

First, for I cannot flatter thee in pride;

Next, if I be appointed for the place,

My Lord of Somerset will keep me here,

Without discharge, money, or furniture,

Till France be won into the Dauphin's hands.

Last time, I danc'd attendance on his will

Till Paris was besieg'd, famish'd, and lost.

I'll tell you, Suffolk, why I am not fit:

firstly, because I can't beat you for arrogance;

next, if I am given the position,

my Lord of Somerset will keep me here,

without orders, money or equipment,

until the Dauphin has won all of France.

Last time I was kept waiting for him

until Paris had been besieged, starved, and lost.

WARWICK.

That can I witness; and a fouler fact

Did never traitor in the land commit.

I can vouch for that; no traitor

ever did a worse thing for this country.

SUFFOLK.

Peace, headstrong Warwick!

Quiet, hasty Warwick!

WARWICK.

Image of pride, why should I hold my peace?

You picture of arrogance, why should I be quiet?

[Enter HORNER and his man PETER, guarded.]

SUFFOLK.

Because here is a man accus'd of treason.

Pray God the Duke of York excuse himself!

Because here is a man accused of treason.

May God help the Duke of York to explain himself!

YORK.

Doth any one accuse York for a traitor?

Is someone accusing York of being a traitor?

KING.

What mean'st thou, Suffolk? tell me, what are these?

What are you talking about, Suffolk? Tell me, who are these people?

SUFFOLK.

Please it your majesty, this is the man

That doth accuse his master of high treason.

His words were these: that Richard Duke of York

Was rightful heir unto the English crown,

And that your majesty was an usurper.

If you please, your Majesty, this is the man

who is accusing his master of high treason.

This is what he said: that Richard Duke of York

was the true heir of the English crown,

and that your Majesty was a usurper.

KING.

Say, man, were these thy words?

Tell me, man, is this what you said?

HORNER.

An 't shall please your majesty, I never said nor

thought any such matter; God is my witness, I am

falsely accused by the villain.

If you please, your Majesty, I never said or

thought any such thing; as God is my witness, I am

falsely accused by this villain.

PETER.

By these ten bones, my lords, he did speak them to

me in the garret one night, as we were scouring my Lord of

York's armour.

I swear by both my hands, my lords, he said them to

me in the guardhouse one night, as we were cleaning the

armour of my Lord of York.

YORK.

Base dunghill villain and mechanical,

I'll have thy head for this thy traitor's speech.--

I do beseech your royal majesty,

Let him have all the rigour of the law.

You low dunghill stupid peasant,

I'll have your head off for these traitorous words.–

I beg your royal majesty,

give him the full punishment of the law.

HORNER.

Alas, my lord, hang me if ever I spake the words. My

accuser is my prentice; and when I did correct him for his fault

the other day, he did vow upon his knees he would be even with