The Cowboy Way (15 page)

Kevin nodded and went back to his wheelchair.

“Are you still going to sit in that thing?”

Kevin nodded, his expression a combination of confusion and fear. “I don't want them to know I can walk yet.”

Jake shrugged, but he was unable to shake off his disillusionment in Kevin's answer. “I don't get it, but suit yourself.”

Kevin started to wheel away, but stopped and looked back. “Jake, can I still be in Wheelchair Rodeo?” His eyes were red rimmed but hopeful. The rest of his face told Jake that he already knew the answer.

“Wheelchair Rodeo is only for kids who can't walk, Kev. You can.”

As soon as Kevin's chair disappeared around the corner, Jake stood in the middle of the barn, rehashing how miserably he'd handled things—how he'd do it differently if he had another chance.

“Just goes to show what a lousy father I'd make,” he said softly. He picked up a pitchfork and tore into the hay with a vengeance, adding fresh bedding to each stall.

 

“Anyone see Kevin Conroy?” Jake looked around the bunkhouse.

“He was sitting right here for the longest time,” said Ramon.

“Check the bathroom,” Jake instructed as he walked out on the porch to look around the area.

The storm showed no signs of letting up. It was still dark out. The rain was falling even faster.

Ramon rushed to his side. “His wheelchair is in
there. A window is open, but there's no sign of Kevin. I'd say he scooted out the window. Is that possible?”

Jake couldn't stand the thought that Kevin was out in the storm. He'd check the barn first. Maybe he was paying Killer another visit, or hiding somewhere.

“Ramon, grab some of the boys and look for him. If you find him, you know the signal.”

“If he's on the ranch, we'll find him, boss.”

“Thanks.”

Jake grabbed his slicker from a hook and hurried out to the barn. Killer was still there, but there was no sign of Kevin. Where would he go?

Jake snapped his fingers.
To talk to his mother.

Jake ran as fast as he could to Beth's cabin, hoping he'd find Kevin there, safe and sound. He took the stairs two at a time and bit back the screaming pain. He couldn't be bothered with it now. The door of the cabin swung open just as he was about to bang on it.

Beth must have sensed his worry because her smile disappeared.

“I saw you coming. What's wrong?”

“Is Kevin here?” Jake asked.

“No. He's in the bunkhouse.”

“No, he's not. He's run away. He ducked out through a window in the bathroom.”

“But that's impossible. He can't get up. He can't—”

Jake put his hands on her shoulders and broke the news. “I saw him standing in the barn. I saw him walking.”

A look of shock crossed her face. “That's impossible. Jake, why are you saying these things?” She
stepped toward him. “You've been drinking! I can smell it. Are you drunk? Is that why you're not making sense?”

“No, I'm not drunk!” He grabbed her elbows and stared into her scared green eyes. “Your son can walk. Believe me.”

“Then why…?”

“I don't know.” Her eyes told him that she really didn't know that Kevin could walk.

“Maybe he had a good reason—only I never took the time to find out. I was so darn shocked. Look, I have to go. I have to find him.”

“If he's out in this storm… Oh, Jake, if anything happens to him!”

“I think I know where he went. Back to the campgrounds. He has to be there. That's the only place I can think of.”

She grabbed a coat. “Let's go.”

“I can do this faster alone.”

“Don't argue with me. He's my son, and you've been drinking. Maybe one of the other cowboys can find him.”

He grabbed her arm, stopping her in her tracks. “I am not a drunk! I spilled a can of beer on myself. I was having one drink, one!” He took a long, irritated breath. “Hey, Beth, let's not fight. It's not going to help me find Kevin any faster. I already have some of the boys looking for him.” He dropped his arms and turned away. “I was the one who caused him to run away. I'll find him.”

Tears fell down her cheeks. “Okay. Hurry.”

“When I do, we might stay put for a while, take shelter. Kevin probably needs some dry clothes, and I need to talk to him.”

Beth picked up a saddle bag, emptied it, and stuffed some clothes back in. She handed it to Jake. “This'll do. How will I know if you find him?”

“There's a CB radio in my parents' cabin. I'll radio back.”

Jake hurried back to the barn to saddle Lance.

When he walked the horse out of the barn, the rain was coming down in sheets. Jake couldn't see two feet in front of him. He knew a shortcut through the woods—that's what he'd take.

If Kevin stuck to the wagon trail and was on foot, Jake would probably beat Kevin to the campgrounds.

Please be there,
was Jake's mantra as he led Lance through the pines. He could hear the suction of the horse's hooves on the mud. It was slow going, but only rarely did the horse shy.

Finally Jake could see a shadow against the lights of the cabin through the trees. It had to be Kevin.

“Hey, Kev!” he yelled.

Jake doubted that the kid could hear him over the racket of the storm. He yelled again as loudly as he could. He was just about to dismount when lightning flashed and split a tree.

Lance reared and Jake flew through the air. He landed with a grunt on his back on the wet, muddy ground. Lance galloped off toward the cabin.

Jake tried to catch his breath. Then he coughed up the water that was pouring down on him. He couldn't move, couldn't work up enough strength to sit up. Every bone in his body hurt. The mud beneath him seemed to be sucking him down, rendering him immobile. Figures he'd be in the lowest spot of the entire campgrounds.

“Jake! You okay?” Suddenly Kevin stood above him, yelling over the sound of the storm. At least Kevin had had enough sense to put on a poncho.

“I've felt better. How about you?”

“I'm okay.”

“Why did you run off like that, Kev?”

“Because I did everything wrong.”

“So? You face it. You don't run away like a little kid. You're a young man now. A cowboy.”

“Really?”

“Really.” Jake shook off the rainwater that was pouring on his face.

Kevin got Jake's hat out of a nearby puddle and handed it to him.

“Thanks, partner.” He held it over his face to keep some of the water off. “Do you think you can help me?”

“You shouldn't move. That's what my health teacher, Mrs. Kazmoski, said.”

“I know, but I'm drowning here.”

Kevin looked back at the trail. “Do you want me to run back and get Doc Trotter?”

“Hold on. I'll be okay. I just need to get vertical.”

“How do I get you up? You're bigger than me.”

“Is Lance around? Can you lead him back here?”

“He's by the barn. I can get him, Jake.”

“There's a rope on the saddle. Tie one end around the saddle horn. Hand me the other end.”

“Okay, Jake. Don't go away.”

He chuckled as he wiped the water that was pouring over his face. “I'll be here.”

As Jake lay there on his back, it finally sank in that
if a bull ever tossed him, he'd never be able to move out of the way.

Jake thought he heard the sound of a horse coming toward him.

“Kevin! Jake!” He heard Beth shout. She was riding Thunder. He had known she'd never be able to stay put.

She dismounted and rushed to Jake's side. “What happened?”

“Lance got spooked by lightning. I got tossed.”

“Are you okay?”

“Hard to say.”

“Oh, Jake!” She looked around. “Did you find Kevin?”

Jake knew the exact moment when she saw her son. Her face changed from surprise to disbelief and then pure joy.

“Kevin!” She ran toward him, slipping and sliding in the mud.

“Mom!” He met her halfway. “I can walk! I wanted to tell you.”

As the rain fell down on them all, Jake watched Beth hug her son. She was oblivious to the rain and everything else, including him, lying there like a fallen log.

He let Beth enjoy seeing Kevin walk for a minute or two, then he yelled, “Hey, remember me?”

“Mom, Jake fell off the horse and it's all my fault. If I hadn't run away, he'd be okay. All his fans are going to be mad at me if he's hurt. It's all my fault.” He sniffed. “I can't do anything right.”

“Honey, Jake was hurt long before he landed in this mud, but we'll talk later. Right now, let's help him get up.”

Kevin led Lance to Jake and handed him the rope.

“I can't reach the saddle horn to tie it, Jake. Maybe my mom can.”

“Hold on, cowboy. You know how to rope. Lasso the saddle horn.”

Kevin looked at him in surprise, then his face fell in disappointment. “I can't do it.”

“Sure you can. I've watched you. You're the best.”

It took Kevin three tries, but he did it. He gave a shout of victory and handed Jake the rest of the rope.

“Excellent roping, cowboy.”

“Gee, thanks!” Kevin turned to Beth. “Mom, you put your arms around Jake to help him, and I'll lead Lance. I'll go slow.”

Jake winked. “You heard what your son said—put your arms around me.”

“Seems like I remember this drill from before,” Beth chided. “It's starting to become a habit.”

“Ready, Jake?” Kevin shouted.

“Go slow until the rope is tight enough for me to pull it. I can stand myself up. If you go too fast, I'll fall over forward.”

“Okay!”

The maneuver worked as planned, and finally Jake was upright. Mud dripped from every part of him.

He looked at Beth, then at Kevin. They were both equally soaked to the skin and muddy, but Jake was by far the worst.

“Beth, why don't you take Kev into the house to get him a hot shower and grab him some dry clothes—take the saddle bag. You get a shower and change, too. My mother has some stuff in the closet. Help yourself, she
wouldn't mind. I'll get the horses into the barn and get them settled. How about we all sleep in the cabin for the night? I'll radio our whereabouts to the Gold Buckle when I get in.”

Jake scooped up the horses' reins.

“Wait! Wait!” Beth yelled over the storm.

“What?”

“It's Thunder! What happened to his four white socks? He only has two now.”

Jake looked at the horse, at Beth, than at Kevin.

“Um…uh…well…” He had just reamed Kevin out for lying, he wasn't about to commit the same crime. “I painted on two more socks with white shoe polish. Looks like it washed off with this rain.”

“You did that for me?”

“Well, it seemed to mean a lot to you that your horse had four white socks.”

“What's his real name?”

“Sidewinder.”

She walked toward Jake and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I love you, Jake Dixon.”

“I love you, too, Beth Conroy.”

“Yippee!” Kevin jumped up and down, splashing mud and water. “It's about time!”

Beth touched her lips to his and gave him a big hug. In spite of the cold, Jake felt a warm rush. This
had
to be right. It felt right clear down to the toes of his wet socks.

J
ake, Beth and Kevin sat on the plaid sofa in the living room of Em and Dex Dixon's cabin eating popcorn in front of the fire. Their wet, muddy clothes were swirling in the washer. Their soggy shoes were drying near the hearth.

They were all dressed in a mix of clothes from Emily and Dex's closets and dressers and whatever Beth had packed in the saddle bag for Kevin.

They were comfortable together, laughing and chatting. Jake could clearly imagine that they were a family. It was almost as if Beth and Kevin had been sent to him for a reason. Maybe his folks and their contest were just the conduit.

Kevin, sitting between Jake and Beth, was shooting Jake anxious little looks between fistfuls of popcorn. He
had peace to make with the youngster. He might as well jump right in.

“Kev, you know, I was way too hard on you in the barn, but I just couldn't figure you out. Still can't. Tell me, why would you stay in a wheelchair when you didn't have to?”

He shrugged as if it were the dumbest question he'd ever heard. “'Cuz of Wheelchair Rodeo.”

“What about it?” asked Beth.

“You have to be in a wheelchair to be in WR.”

Jake leaned forward on the sofa, his elbows on his knees. “Cowboy, help me out here. What am I missing?”

“Well, you don't have a rodeo for kids who can walk. They can't win your contest. They can't come here and be with you, can't meet the cowboys, can't rope or go on a cool trail ride or ride horses or anything.”

“I get it now,” Jake said. “You're right. But you still lied, Kev. Faking something is like lying. Right?”

“But when I entered the contest, I couldn't walk.”

Beth took Kevin's hand and rested her cheek on his head. “Oh, honey!”

“But, Mom, I wanted to come here really bad. Really bad. And you needed a vacation really bad, too.”

“When did you find out you could walk?” Beth asked.

“I had to go to the bathroom one night at home, and I just got up. I was wobbly, but I practiced. I really practiced walking after we won the Gold Buckle contest, so I wasn't really lying when I entered it.” His thin smile turned into a frown. “Don't cry, Mom.”

“It's a happy cry, sweetie.”

Jake noticed that there had been constant tears of happiness in Beth's eyes, and she hadn't been able to let go of Kevin's hand. It was as if she thought that if she let go of his hand, she'd wake up from her dream and find he really couldn't walk.

Kevin turned to Jake. “Do you still like me even though I can walk?” His voice trembled.

“Of course I do!” Jake said, giving the boy a big grin.

“So, are you going to be my father?”

Jake looked at Beth. They had some things to talk about.

“I don't know, Kev. I think that's between your mother and me, but I want you to know one thing. I love you both.”

Beth closed her eyes for a moment, then met his gaze. “I was completely wrong about you in the beginning. I still have some unresolved issues, thanks to my late husband's drinking. And when you came to my cabin this morning, I didn't mean…”

Jake waved away her explanation. “I admit, it bothered me. I thought we were past all that.” He took a deep breath and let it out. “I did my share of drinking in my younger days, but I'm older and wiser now. I like a beer now and then, but that's all.”

Beth nodded. “I think I'll look into counseling for myself on how to handle the whole alcohol issue. Now that Kevin's on the road to recovery, it's time I spent a little energy and effort on me.”

“Finally.” Jake nodded and smiled encouragingly. “Okay. Now, what else do we have to settle?”

“I promise that I'll never run away again, Jake. I made you get hurt because I ran away, and you had to
find me, and then you fell off and couldn't get up, and you probably can't ride because of me.”

“Whoa! Slow down.” Jake chuckled and put his arm around Kevin's shoulders. “Not true. You shouldn't have run away, but I wasn't paying attention when Lance got spooked. I should have been a better cowboy.”

“But, Jake, you're the best.”

“Thanks for thinking so.”

“But, Kevin, you did take a slot that should have been for another kid,” Beth reminded him. “What are you going to do about that? I think we owe the Gold Buckle Ranch to make up for the week.”

Jake started to protest, but Beth shot him a “work with me” look.

Kevin shrugged. “I could feed the horses.”

“You could,” Jake said. “And you can also muck out the stalls.”

His face lit up—only a die-hard aspiring cowboy like Kevin would enjoy mucking stalls. Then it dimmed again.

“But we're going home soon, Jake. One day is all I really have left.”

He made eye contact with Beth, and her pointed look told him that she was leaving it to him. He'd just as soon forget any kind of punishment for Kev, but he understood where Beth was coming from.

He rubbed his chin. “Well, I think you need to work around the house for your mother through the winter, maybe get an allowance. Then you'll just have to fly back to the Gold Buckle next summer and work off your debt to me. Right?”

“I will, Jake! I will!”

Beth rolled her eyes, but her smile was genuine. Actually, Jake had decided he'd send the plane tickets to them—he wanted to see them—and any money that Kevin earned, Kevin could keep.

Jake saw him stifle a yawn. “I think you're tired. You should head to bed.”

“That's right, young man.”

“Oh, Mom…”

“Today was a tough day, and tomorrow's going to be really busy,” Jake said. “I'm going to need you as my ramrod for Wheelchair Rodeo, okay? You'll be my assistant.”

“Wow! Really cool! But what will I tell all the kids?”

“Tell them you're not competing because your last operation finally kicked in. And tell them you worked hard at getting strong, which is true. And then you can tell them that you are going to be mucking stalls until you're twenty years old to give another kid a scholarship here.”

“Okay! G'night, Jake.”

Kevin held out his hand, and Jake shook it. He felt a warm, happy rush when Kevin's arms curled around his neck in a grateful hug. He'd never get tired of this.

Beth got up with him. Jake heard the murmur of their voices and the door close. Instead of returning to the living room, Beth headed into the kitchen.

Jake knew that he had to have another conversation with Beth, but wasn't particularly looking forward to it. He didn't want to rehash things. He joined her in the kitchen and found her bending over the sink washing the dishes. Suds were clinging to her forearms. Her hair was still wet on the ends.

“Uh-oh, you're thinking again, aren't you. Are you okay?” He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him.

“When you said you loved me, did you mean it?”

“I did.”

She took a deep breath. “Well, I meant it, too.”

Love should be happy, but there was sadness in the air. Jake's heart sat like a lump in his chest. He couldn't have her or Kevin. He was a bull rider. That's what he had to do.

She turned around. A solitary tear ran down her face, and he wiped it off with his thumb.

“What is it?” he asked.

“I don't think I'm ever going to understand Kevin—or you. You were wonderful with him.” She gazed into his eyes. “And I'd like to thank you for apologizing to him.”

“I didn't handle things with Kev the way I should have back in the barn.”

She held up a soapy hand. “You apologized. I would have reacted the same way in your situation. Remember, I didn't handle things the way I should have when I first met
you.
I realize now that you're not addicted to alcohol. You're addicted to titles and records and being on top.” She closed her eyes as if building up strength, then opened them. “I know you don't like being compared to Brad, but you're like him in one regard.”

“What's that?”

“He never thought about Kevin or me.” She took a deep breath. “Remember when Kevin asked you if you still love him now that he can walk?”

He nodded.

“Well, I'll still love you when you can't. I know that risk-taking is part of you. You live for the challenge, the man-against-beast thing, for more titles. No guts, no glory. Whatever.” She hesitated, fishing for words.

“Go ahead. I hear a ‘but' coming.”

“
But
I need to be with someone who thinks about us. If you were in a car crash, it'd be different. I'd take care of you. But if you died under Twister or another bull?” She shook her head. “I don't think I could handle it.”

“You don't have much faith in my riding, Beth. Just because I have a couple of minor injuries—”

“Minor injuries?” She took a deep breath and let it out. “Let me remind you that you had to be pulled up from the ground by a horse, Jake. Not once, but two or three times. Who's going to pick you up from the arena floor when you get bucked off next time? Even if you weren't bucked off and jumped off, would you land on your feet? Could you run away?”

He remembered thinking the same thing when he was lying on his back in the mud. “I'm hoping my adrenaline would keep me going.”

“You'll need more than adrenaline, cowboy. You'll need a forklift.”

He chuckled. “Remember, Clint Scully is the best in the business.”

“Well, no matter what you call Clint, you're also putting him at risk. You're not in top form.”

He held his hands up. Damn, how could he argue with anything she was saying? She was right, and he knew it.

“Okay. I know where you stand. I get it.”

“And?”

“And I'm going to ride tomorrow.”

She concentrated on the dishes again. Then she lifted her head and smiled sadly at him. “Okay. Kevin and I will be there. But if you go down, you won't see me anymore. I can't watch another person that I love get hurt.”

He gathered her in his arms and hung on tight. “Will you at least cheer for me?”

“Of course I will, and you know Kevin will.” She held his face in the palms of her hands. “Be safe, Jake.”

“I'll try.” He kissed her with all the love he had in his heart for her. He wished things could be different, but for now, he had to think of Wheelchair Rodeo—and not himself. If he rode that bounty bull, WR would be set financially for a long time.

Kevin's confession had the ideas rolling around in his head. With the money, he could expand to include kids who weren't disabled. Or even kids in need of psychiatric care. He'd talk to Trot's child psychologist pal, and get him to commit to some volunteer hours next year. He could even include kids who were starting to get into trouble, criminal trouble. He'd let them work off their anger by pitching in at the ranch.

There were all sorts of things he could do with Harvey Trumble's money.

She walked over to kiss him good-night. “I want you to know that I've had a wonderful time at the Gold Buckle this week. You're doing good things here.”

“This sounds like goodbye.”

“It is.”

He fisted his hands in her hair and feasted on her lips. He wanted to be with her tonight, to make love with her
one last time. He wanted to hold her in his arms all night, and wake up next to her in the morning. That wouldn't happen—not with Kevin in the room next door.

It was better they part like this anyway.

“Good night, Beth.”

“Good night, Jake.”

Minutes later, stretched out on the couch, he thought that he hadn't felt this bad since he had to put his first horse down. The day after tomorrow, he'd be saying goodbye to two people he loved with all his heart.

 

The next day dawned sunny and breezy. They rode back to the Gold Buckle in time for breakfast. Beth rode alone. Jake shared Lance with Kevin.

It was a party atmosphere when they returned. Kids gathered around Kevin. Beth heard him say, “My last operation finally kicked in and I've been practicing walking. Being in WR made me stronger.”

Jake walked over to the group. “And Kevin here rescued me. I got thrown by Lance and couldn't get up. Kevin did some fancy roping of the saddle horn, and I was able to pull myself up.”

“Way cool.”

“Awesome.”

“Totally radical, Kev.”

Kevin's eyes met Jake's and Jake saw that the boy was getting uncomfortable with the attention, so he changed the subject. “Kevin's withdrawn from the competition, and he's going to be my ramrod for Wheelchair Rodeo tonight at the arena. Is everyone ready?”

“Yeah!” yelled the kids.

“I can't hear you,” Jake said.

“YEAH!”

Jake's fist pumped the air. “All right!”

 

It was finally time for Wheelchair Rodeo. Beth sat in the stands at the Mountain Springs Arena, content to watch Kevin fetch and carry for Jake. It definitely was a miracle watching him walk after two long years in a wheelchair. He was still stiff, sometimes awkward, but when he was tired, he sat down.

She had felt euphoric when she first saw Kevin walk. But the euphoria had faded somewhat when she realized that Jake might soon be in a chair himself.

The stands were fairly crowded. The word had gone out on radio and TV that WR had been rained out the previous day and was scheduled to take place before the main event.

Also before the main event, Jake Dixon was scheduled to ride Twister.

“Twister,” the announcer said, “has successfully thrown off thirty-five previous riders. The bounty on him is $150,000. The
Wyoming Journal
is also putting up some nice money. All money will go to Wheelchair Rodeo, the special program run by Jake Dixon and his folks out at the Gold Buckle Ranch right here in Mountain Springs.”