The Crushes (14 page)

After a terrible day at work (a chaotic lunch rush, a batch of burned bread, and a plugged sink drain), all Alexia wanted to do was relax. She’d take a shower, get into some comfy clothes, and hang out in her bedroom watching
Romeo and Juliet
.

But as soon as she opened the front door and kicked off her shoes, her parents appeared out of nowhere, their mouths set in a grim line. Alexia knew “relax” wasn’t going to be possible.

“We need to talk,” Dr. Bass said. “Come into the office.”

They disappeared down the hallway.

Alexia just stood there for a second trying to calculate her chances for escape. And if she succeeded with escape, how far would she get before her parents called the cops?

Sighing, she went to the office slowly. Whatever this was, it wasn’t good. This just smelled like trouble.

When she entered the office, her mother shut the door. Her dad sat behind his desk in his large leather chair. He pulled off his glasses and set them on the clean desktop.
Alexia’s mom, perched now on the edge of the desk, folded her hands, setting them on her knee. Alexia sat across from her parents. Every nerve in her body snapped and her brain yelled,
Run!

“Tell me,” Dr. Bass said, grabbing something from his desk drawer, “what this is.”

The blood pooled in Alexia’s cheeks when she saw what was in her father’s hand.

A condom.

More specifically, the condom Ben had given her, the one in the shiny red wrapper that said
RIBBED FOR HER PLEASURE
! right across the front.

Crap.

“Um…”

If she pretended not to know, would they buy it?

“I’m really disappointed in you, Alexia,” her mom said. She took in a breath. “I thought we had discussed waiting.”

Alexia shifted, bit her lip. She already felt conflicted enough about losing her virginity and now her parents were lecturing her about it? Tears welled behind her lids. A burning sensation filled her throat.

“I…”

“I suspected you and Benjamin were getting too serious.” Dr. Bass shook his head. “I should have put my foot down. But I will now before it’s too late.”

Alexia shook when her breath faltered with the tears.

“You’re grounded,” Dr. Bass said, “and I think you need to be spending a little more time with your friends and a little less time with your boyfriend.”

She just stared at them, her teeth clenched, tears streaming down her face. She didn’t know what to say.

“Is there anything you have to say?” her mom asked, furrowing her brow.

Alexia shook her head and swiped at the tears.

“You’re excused, then,” her dad said.

Alexia got up and left.

When her phone rang around eleven that night, Alexia dove for it before her parents heard the ring and took the phone from her. They hadn’t exactly gone over the terms of the grounding, and she wasn’t sure if she was supposed to be using the cell or not.

A picture of Ben popped up on the screen. Alexia answered, “Hello?”

“Hey! What are you doing? I thought you were going to call me when you got home from work.”

“I was. I just got sidetracked.”

Should she tell him about the condom and the grounding? It was almost too embarrassing. And what was he going to think about her parents’ advice to break away from him?

It’d be just like him to drive over here and confront her parents. He’d try to charm his way back into their good graces.

No, Alexia thought, better to wait.

“Is it too late to come over?” he asked.

“Probably.” She listened to the sounds coming from downstairs. Her parents and her brother were watching a new movie. It didn’t sound like anyone had noticed the phone ringing.

Ben sighed. “I guess I’ll just go ahead and tell you over the phone, then.”

Alexia froze. “Tell me what?” What was he talking about?

“I finally decided what I’m doing this fall.”

“What?” He’d already received a handful of acceptances from colleges in the area. He’d been adamant about choosing. Alexia wouldn’t say so out loud, but she’d wanted him to choose something closer to home so they could see each other.

“I’ve decided,” he began, “that I’m going with Will to Pepperdine University.”

Alexia’s mouth dropped open. She blinked. Furrowed her brow. Had she just heard him right?

“Pepperdine? Like Pepperdine in California?”

“I know it’s far, but I’ve been thinking about it for a long time. I just didn’t want to say anything and scare you.”

It felt like her heart had stopped beating.

The air in her lungs felt stale and cold.

“Lexy?”

California?

“Lexy, you’re mad, aren’t you?”

“No,” she said, maybe a bit too quickly. “I’m just…”

“In shock. That’s why I wanted to tell you face-to-face, but I just couldn’t wait.”

Pulling in a breath, she sat up straighter and tried to organize her thoughts. “So, you’re for sure going? Or you’re just thinking about it?”

Maybe there was still time to talk him out of it!

“I already decided. Will and I signed up for classes. We leave August twenty-ninth.”

Oh.

“That’s…really soon.”

“Yeah.”

“Ben.”

“I know.”

Alexia sat down on her bed and held her head in her hands. She’d just lost her virginity to someone who was moving to the other side of the country. It might as well be Iceland!

She’d already cried a billion times today but suddenly felt on the verge again. Hadn’t she completely drained her tear well? Apparently not. They slipped from the corners of her eyes. Her breath shuddered down her throat.

“Are you crying?” Ben asked, his voice soft and concerned.

“No.” She swallowed. She had to get off the phone before she really started balling. “I have to go.”

“Lexy.”

“Just call me tomorrow, okay?”

“Lexy.”

“I love you,” she said and hung up.

She shut her phone off, tossed it in the corner chair, and then laid back on her bed, curling into her pillow. It still smelled like Ben from the last time he’d been over when her parents had gone out of town.

Alexia took in a big breath of his scent, and the tears fell harder.

Why had he chosen Pepperdine? Why couldn’t he have just gone to college somewhere in Connecticut? And she’d thought him being an hour away was going to be torture.

Their relationship was over. Maybe he wouldn’t break up with her and maybe he’d promise to be the best long-distance boyfriend in the world, but how was she going to survive without him?

They only had five weeks to spend together.

That wasn’t long enough.

How had Alexia gone from single to having a boyfriend to losing her virginity and her boyfriend all in the same year? It was too much. Having a boyfriend was too much.

She closed her eyes against the tears. All she wanted to do was fall asleep now and forget this day ever happened.

Rule 21:
Be mysterious! Show him there is some mystery about you!

Rule 25:
Compliment your crush two times a week!

Rule 17:
Always look your best in the company of your crush!

When the doorbell rang at the front of Kelly’s house, unease and excitement mixed in her chest, making her heart quicken.

It was Wednesday night—poker night—which meant that doorbell might very well be Drew.

Matt and Kenny had already shown up. They were in the basement with Todd eating the oatmeal chocolate chip cookies Kelly had made earlier. They’d also invited Adam over, but he wasn’t there yet.

Kelly practically ran to the front door, hoping to beat Todd there. She ran into her little sister, Monica, and gently pushed her aside.

“Jeez,” Monica breathed. “What are you in a hurry for?”

“Oh…uh…I don’t want to make anyone wait at the door,” Kelly answered.

When she reached the foyer, she stopped, checked her blue shirt to be sure she wasn’t revealing too much cleavage, and then pulled the door open.

“Oh,” she said, seeing Adam standing there.

“You were expecting someone else?” He arched a brow, shot her a teasing grin.

“No…I just—”

Drew pulled his truck up to the curb in front of Kelly’s house and parked. She looked past Adam.

Adam followed her gaze. “Yup, you were expecting someone else.” He sighed and stepped aside as Drew came up the front steps.

“Hey, Kels,” Drew said. “Adam. What’s up?”

“Came to kick your ass in poker, that’s all.”

Drew chuckled. “Yeah. Sure. I’m master champ.”

Kelly held open the door as the two boys sauntered inside. Monica turned down the TV, inconspicuously watching Drew and Adam as she picked a few crackers from the box on the coffee table. Her eyes got wide when she saw Adam, and she stopped chewing for a fraction of a second.

“Hey, Monica,” Drew called, but she barely shot him an acknowledgment.

Kelly didn’t blame her little sister. Adam was, after all, extremely gorgeous. If only she felt that chemistry with him on a personal level. It was still tempting to force the relationship, but she couldn’t, and Adam probably wouldn’t even let her now that he knew how she felt about Drew.

“Come on,” Drew said to Adam, “let’s head downstairs.”

“All right.” Adam nodded a parting greeting to Kelly.

“Wow.” Monica paused the movie when the boys were out of hearing range. “Who was that? Is he your new boyfriend?”

“No. We’re just friends.”

“Why?” Monica sounded horrified by this idea.

“Because…” Kelly went to the kitchen for her second snack, the one she’d use to get herself downstairs without seeming obvious.

“Because why? Have you looked at him? I mean, really looked at him? He’s so cute.”

“I know, Mon. I’m not blind.”

“Then he doesn’t like you?”

Kelly took out the big plastic bowl of black bean salsa she’d made earlier and popped the top. “I don’t know if he likes me or not. But we’re just friends. I like someone else.”

Monica pulled herself up on the kitchen counter and pushed her strawberry blonde ponytail off her shoulder. For a thirteen-year-old, she was entirely too boy-crazy. At least that’s what Kelly thought.

Monica licked cracker cheese from her lips. “Who do you like, then?”

“Like I’m going to tell you!”

“I won’t tell anyone.”

Kelly rolled her eyes. “Like the time you promised you wouldn’t tell Todd about how I broke his Playstation?”

Monica shrugged innocently. “That was an accident. I thought he wouldn’t be mad.”

“I’m not telling you,” Kelly said again, because her sister would tell Todd and then Todd would bug her about
it and possibly make her life hell until she promised never to crush on his friends again.

But worst of all, what if Drew found out?

It was one thing to admit to yourself that you were in love with your best friend’s boyfriend, but once it started getting around, it would become real and embarrassing and shameful.

Monica grew bored eventually and went back to her movie. Kelly filled a bowl with tortilla chips and grabbed her homemade salsa, then headed downstairs.

Alternative music blared from a stereo on the small entertainment center. Todd had pushed the couch farther back to make extra room for the metal folding chairs that sat around the red felt poker table.

Drew threw down his cards, flashing three jacks. The guys burst into shouts of surprise and awe.

“Master champ,” Drew said breezily, sliding the red, white, and blue chips into his pile.

Kelly set down the snacks and looked over Adam’s shoulder at the new hand he’d been dealt. He had two nines, a ten, a jack, and an ace. Not a very good hand, that one.

“What do you think?” Adam asked her.

She pointed to the ten and jack. “Get rid of those.”

“Hey, hey!” Todd yelled.

Adam said, “What?”

“No asking your girlfriend for help,” Todd said.

Kelly grunted. “We’re not—”

“We’re just friends, dude,” Adam said.

Drew stilled and looked from Adam to Kelly. “Just friends?”

Adam nodded.

Drew’s lips twitched as if he were going to smile but decided to bury it.

“Oh,” he said, his eyes lingering on Kelly, “that’s cool.”

“Yeah,” she said, realizing all too late that Drew hadn’t really been
talking
to her, just
looking
at her.

The tension was almost palpable. Kelly shifted when the guys hollered again about something else, but Drew, he didn’t say or do anything but look at Kelly.

I’m losing this battle, she thought. How am I ever going to stop liking him when he looks at me like that?

Sighing, she turned away, escaping quickly upstairs.

“Hey,” Drew said from Kelly’s open bedroom door.

She looked up from her
CosmoGirl!
magazine. “Hey.” She sat up on the bed, tucking her feet beneath her. “Game all done?”

He nodded. “Everyone ran out of chips.”

“And who was the one who had all the chips when the game was over?”

“Well, me, of course.”

“Were you counting cards again?”

He gave her an impish grin. “I’ll never tell.” He came farther into the room and, with every step, his good mood seemed to slip away. “Have you talked to Sydney at all?”

“No. Not much. She’s been kinda distant lately.”

Drew plopped down next to Kelly. She tensed, her emotions conflicting. She wanted to be close to him, but felt
guilty for it. She scooted a few inches to the left, away from him. If he noticed, he didn’t say anything about it.

“I haven’t been able to talk to her much. She isn’t opening up about her mom leaving.”

“Yeah. That was crazy, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah. Who does that? Just ups and leaves their family?”

Kelly shook her head. “I don’t get it. That’s for sure.”

A short silence spread between them. Kelly repositioned herself on the bed, trying to get comfortable. If she’d known Drew was going to come into her room, she would have put something else on. Instead, she was in a pair of green-and-purple-striped shorts made to resemble men’s boxers.

As if reading her unease, Drew looked over at her, then down at her legs right next to him. “I wanted to tell you,” he looked at the floor, folded his hands together, “that you look good today.”

A blush instantly pinked Kelly’s cheeks. She pulled hair down in front of her eyes, hiding herself and the pleased look on her face. How could she follow Rule 21 (be mysterious!) when she could barely keep herself together around Drew?

“You look good, too,” she mumbled. “Those are my favorite jeans, by the way.”

His eye contact was sudden and intense. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

This bout of silence felt, not uncomfortable, but dangerous. As if it were prefacing something forbidden between them.

Kelly quickly looked away.

“So,” Drew said, rubbing his hands together, “you and Adam? I thought you guys were together.”

“No. We’re just good friends. I like someone else.”

Drew raised a brow. “Who?”

“Secret,” she said with a smile.

“I have a secret, too,” he said softly.

“Yeah?”

He nodded. “I like someone else, too.”

Kelly raked her teeth over her bottom lip once, twice, then once again.

“Drew, I—”

“Dude, let’s go.” Todd burst in the room, his car keys jingling from his fingers. “We’re supposed to meet Heather in five minutes.”

Drew stood up abruptly. “I’m coming.” He glanced at Kelly over his shoulder. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Yeah,” she said.

When the front door slammed shut, Kelly collapsed back on her bed. She hadn’t done anything remotely physical, but her breathing was quicker, her heart beating excitedly in her chest.

Had Drew almost admitted liking her?

An hour later, Drew called.

“Hey,” she answered.

“This might sound insane, Kels,” he began, ignoring a greeting altogether, “but I have to say it. So just listen, okay?”

Kelly’s heart was a fervent drum in her chest. “Okay.”

Drew took in a breath. “I had a crush on you when we were kids, and I never said anything because I didn’t think you felt the same way, you know, because I was a huge dork back then, and then Sydney…” He sighed. “I’m in love with you, Kelly. I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember.”

It felt like the blood in Kelly’s veins froze over, like her heart stopped beating altogether. She didn’t even blink.

“Say something, Kel.”

She wanted to laugh, to cry, to scream at the top of her lungs. This was right and wrong all at the same time.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I have to go.”

She hung up before he could object.

She closed her eyes, tears biting beneath her lids.

This was easily the best and worst thing that had ever happened to her.