Gilbert bounded away. Mads breathed a sigh of relief. He turned and waved at her from the end of the line.
Alex touched Mads’ back. She took that as an encouraging sign.
“Can we get out of here for a little while?” Mads asked.
“Sure,” Alex said. “Let’s go out to my car.”
“Perfect.” Gilbert would never find them there. Well, knowing Gilbert, he might, but at least it would take a while.
She and Alex left the auditorium. Lina saw them slip away. She checked on Holly and Rob, still dancing like crazy. Lina wished she felt more like dancing. But it was hard to have fun at a dance when your friends were preoccupied and the one you love was so near but still out of reach.
“Feel like some pizza?” Walker asked her.
“No, thanks,” Lina said. Walker was nice, she knew that. But somehow she just couldn’t manage to focus on him. She danced with him, she listened to him talk, but she kept half an eye on Dan. She watched Dan carry a stack of empty pizza boxes to the trash. She turned her attention back to the dance floor. All those squirming bodies, the flashing lights, the loud music, suddenly made her feel dizzy and disoriented.
“I have to go to the bathroom,” she told Walker. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
She slipped out and stood in the silent hallway, leaning against the cool tile wall. What was wrong with her? Why couldn’t she just let go and have a good time?
The auditorium door pushed open, and a blast of noise rushed out into the hall and hushed again as the door swung shut. Lina glanced over. Dan stepped out, saw her, and smiled.
“Hey,” he said, walking over to her. He leaned against the wall as she did, patting a pocket in his jacket. “Thought I might sneak out for a smoke, but I guess you caught me.”
“I won’t tell anyone,” Lina said. At the sight of him her heart started racing and her mind fogged. She struggled to keep it clear so she wouldn’t say anything stupid.
“What are you doing out here?” Dan asked. “I saw you dancing earlier. Looked like you were having fun.”
“Not really,” Lina said. “I mean, yeah. I don’t know. I just needed to take a break.”
“I know what you mean.” He pulled a cigarette from his pocket, rolled it between his fingers, and put it back. “I hated dances when I was in high school. I always felt like such a dork. I couldn’t dance at all. Still can’t.”
Lina smiled, but she couldn’t help wondering in alarm if he thought she was a dork too. Maybe he liked dorks.
No, don’t be stupid,
she told herself.
Nobody likes dorks.
“I guess I’m just not in the mood for a dance tonight,” she said. “I didn’t know you smoked.”
“Every once in a while,” he said. “I don’t know, maybe it’s just an excuse to get out of there for a few minutes.” He gave a small, conspiratorial laugh, as if the two of them were in this together, refugees from the dance from hell. That little laugh made Lina so happy she wanted to throw her head back and yelp.
A shriek and high-pitched giggling echoed down the hallway. Autumn, Rebecca, and Claire were on their way back from the bathroom. They dropped their voices and glanced at Lina and Dan as they skipped past them and burst through the auditorium doors. The music blared and faded again.
“Well, guess I better get back in there,” Dan said. “Maybe I’ll skip the smoke. Don’t want to get into trouble.”
“Okay.” Lina didn’t know what else to say. She tried to come up with something witty or profound but her mind let her down as usual. She pressed the toe of her boot into the buffed, shiny floor.
“But you’re all right, right?” Dan asked, pushing away from the wall. “I mean, nothing’s wrong, is it?”
“No!” Lina shook her head with too much animation. “I’m fine. Really. I was just about to go back inside, too. I was just, you know, standing here for a minute.…”
“Okay. Good. Well, see you in there.” Dan tipped the rim of his porkpie hat to her and went back to the dance. Lina closed her eyes and pressed the back of her head against the wall. Oh my god. How could he be so charming? It was killing her!
She wished Mads would come back. She had to tell somebody about what had just happened. She needed to analyze every detail of this encounter, the meaning of every word and gesture. He was worried about her! He wanted to make sure he was okay! It was amazing!
Was he flirting with her? Was he sending her a signal? Lina still couldn’t believe he had even noticed her enough to be concerned. Maybe he’d been watching her all night! He said he was watching her dance! Oh my god! Lina could hardly contain herself. She didn’t see how she could go back in there and keep up the charade of polite interest with Walker now. But what else could she do? She ran down the hall to the bathroom. Then she ran back to the auditorium. She was going to grab Holly, just for a few minutes, and drag her into the bathroom with her. She had to tell somebody!
“Hey, Safran, having a good time?” Jake, trailed by two of his soccer buddies and a couple of girls, found Holly and Rob perched on the lip of the stage. They were taking a break, drinking sodas, watching the dancers.
“‘Cause if you’re not having fun now, you will later,” Jake said in an obnoxious, insinuating tone. “Am I right? Huh?”
Just the sight of Jake left a sour taste in Holly’s mouth. How could she ever have liked him? He was such a thug!
“How would you know, Jake?” Holly snapped. “Your idea of a good time is sitting home kissing your pillow.”
“You had a pretty good time with me a couple of weeks ago,” Jake said. “You couldn’t get enough.”
Holly couldn’t believe his nerve, lying right to her face! When he knew that she knew the truth. He must have thought she’d be too intimidated to contradict him. He thought wrong.
“Funny, Jake, I don’t remember that,” Holly said. “But then, it’s hard for me to know what you see
in your dreams!
”
“Zing!” someone shouted.
Rob took Holly’s hand and led her away. “Come on,” he said. “Before you two start scratching each other’s eyes out.”
“That ought to shut him up,” Holly muttered. She forgot all about her Boobmeister rep when she was with Rob—and then Jake had to throw it back in her face. And in Rob’s face. She wondered what Rob really thought of her. Did he believe her—or did he believe Jake?
“Holly!” Lina ran up to them, her eyes shining. “Come to the bathroom with me.”
Holly glanced at Rob. Obviously Lina had something to share that was not for male ears.
“Go,” Rob said. “Before Jake comes around asking for more punishment.”
Lina looked confused, so Holly said, “I’ll tell you mine after you tell me yours.”
“Deal.”
“Where’d you learn to dance like that?” Alex asked. Mads sat with him in the front seat of his Toyota. He was holding her hand and rubbing it gently with his thumb.
“Do you like it?” Mads asked. “Or do you think it’s goofy?” Mads knew her dancing style could be a little over-the-top, but she wasn’t bad at it. She could dislocate the different parts of her body like a belly dancer, and knew how to wiggle her hips in a sexy way that was also kind of funny.
“Sure I like it,” Alex said. “It’s hot.”
All right. This was going great. “I took ballet and stuff when I was younger,” Mads said. “Some modern dance. You learn how to move all the parts of your body in different ways.”
She leaned closer now, parting her lips and putting them in kissing range. He took the bait. He pulled her head toward his and pressed his mouth against hers. She opened her mouth and his tongue wiggled in. Wow. He was a good kisser.
“Mmm,” he said. She put her arms around his neck and pulled her body closer. He put his arms around her and pressed her against him. He had strong arms.
He came up for air, kissed her neck, and murmured, “Hey, Madison, you sure are sweet.…”
They kissed again, really getting into it.
This is it,
Mads thought.
I’m finally getting some experience—with Sean’s friend Alex! It’s not Sean, but it’s close.
He rubbed her back and started inching his hand toward her chest. Mads heard a sound, a knocking sound. She ignored it, and Alex didn’t seem to hear it either. But then it came again, knuckle on glass, louder this time. Oh no. Someone was knocking on the window.
Please don’t let it be Gilbert
, Mads prayed.
That prayer, at least, was answered.
“Hey, Alex!” It was Sean. “Open up! Don’t steam up the windows too much!”
Mads and Alex broke apart. Alex rolled down the window. “Hey, man, what are you doing in there?” Sean asked. He was with the blond girl and Barton and Mo. He nodded at Mads. “Hey, kid.”
He noticed her!
“Nothing,” Alex said. “What’s up?”
“Jane wants to leave, and I’m starving,” Sean said.
“They’ve got nothing to eat here but that lame pizza. Let’s go get a burger or something.”
“All right,” Alex said. Sean and the others opened the car doors and started piling in.
Mads couldn’t believe it. “You’re hungry?”
“Yeah. Aren’t you?”
Food was the last thing on her mind. She climbed out of the car to straighten her clothes. Mo jumped into the front seat. There was no room left in the car for her.
“Do you want to come with us?” Alex asked, starting the car.
Mads looked for a spot in the car, but it was full. The only way she’d fit was if she sat on someone’s lap. And no one offered.
“Thanks anyway,” she said.
“Okay. Well, see you around.”
Sean sat in the backseat with his arm draped over Jane’s shoulders. “Hey, kid, see you at my party next Saturday, all right?”
Party? He was inviting her to a party? At his very own house?
“Sure, see you then!” she called.
Alex drove away, music blaring, leaving Mads to go back to the dance alone.
Had Alex just dumped her for a hamburger? She knew boys were always hungry but this was ridiculous.
She thought of the Dating Game and their IHD thesis. What had made them think that boys were more sexcrazed than girls? She couldn’t imagine herself ever turning away from a boy she liked just to get some food. Well, maybe for her dad’s homemade strawberry ice cream…no, not even for that. Anyway, she’d share it with the boy.
Who cared about Alex anyway? Sean himself had invited
her
, Madison Markowitz, tenth grader, to his party next Saturday night. He actually wanted her to be there! She was making progress! Her plan was working!
She found Gilbert waiting faithfully for her in the auditorium. He was holding two plates, one with a slice of pizza and one with a pile of little salty rolls. He offered her a plate. “Garlic knot?”
The Velvet Clown Painting
To: linaonme
From: Your daily horoscope
HERE IS TODAY’S HOROSCOPE: CANCER: You’re feeling brave and bold. You’re capable of anything right now. That’s what everyone is afraid of.
L
ina stared at the inkblot test they used on the Dating Game site. What did it look like to her? A pizza crust with teethmarks on it. Was that the answer of a sex-crazed person? It might not seem so at first, but Lina would have to say yes.
At the dance she saw Ramona take a leftover pizza crust off Dan’s plate after he dropped it in the trash. She couldn’t get the image out of her mind—the bitten pizza crust, his teethmarks and the little bits of tomato sauce left on it…Ramona had slipped it into her purse. What could the Dan Shulman Cult possibly do with it? And yet, deep down, she understood why they’d want it. Ugh, she was so pathetic!
She still had the poem she’d written, “Pedantry.” She was working up the courage to deliver it to him. At his house. If, as a bonus, her insatiable curiosity about what the inside of his house looked like was satisfied, well, that was incidental.
It was Saturday, the day after the dance. She sealed the poem in an envelope, got on her bike, and rode toward school. Dan lived a mile or two past the school in an old residential area lined with small bungalows. She’d ridden her bike through there before, just checking things out. She knew Dan’s address by heart—it was printed in the school directory.
She stopped in front of his house, a tiny, one-story, pale green cottage set in a small cluster of trees. She straddled her bike and took it in. A cracked cement walk led to the front door, which was framed by shrubs on both sides. A beat-up old Honda sat in the driveway under a carport awning. There wasn’t a garage.
Lina was suddenly paralyzed with anxiety. What would he do when he saw her? What would she say? Oh my god, what if someone was there with him? One of his friends? Or a girl? Or his mother? Did he live with someone? Why did her brain have to wait until this moment to think of that?
Maybe he wouldn’t be home, and she could just slip the poem under his door or leave it in the mailbox. Part of her desperately wished for him to be out, but a stronger part wanted to see him, to test his reaction to her.
She walked her bike up to the door and leaned it against the black iron rail that marked the four front steps. In her mind she practiced what to say.
Hi, Dan, I was just riding my bike around and…Hello, surprised to see me?…Uh, Dan, did you realize you’re the object of a goth-girl cult which at this very moment is probably trying to cast a love spell on you using a discarded pizza crust? Just thought I’d give you a heads-up
…Ugh, nothing seemed right!
She took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. She waited and listened. She heard a chair scrape across a floor. Someone was definitely home.
The door opened and there he stood. Dressed for a Saturday in old-man slacks and a button-down thrift-store shirt. He really was committed to his style.
“Lina!” He sounded surprised, and why wouldn’t he be? “What are you doing here? Is everything okay?”
“Hi, Dan. Everything’s fine. I—uh—”
“Here, come on in.” He stepped aside and opened the door wider so she could come in. She couldn’t believe she was about to step into his house. She put her foot on the little rag rug in the doorway. Another step and she stood on the wooden floor of the tiny entrance. A kitchen with a breakfast bar was just to the right, and beyond that a small living room/dining room. She couldn’t get much sense of the furniture, other than the velvet paint-by-numbers clown that hung over a rickety red table in the hall.