The Dating Game (19 page)

“Kid, you know Mo and Jen, don’t you?” Alex asked.

“Hi. I’m Madison.”

“How old are you, twelve?” Jen asked.

“Jen—” Mo nudged her.

“She’s got to be at least in ninth grade, right kid?” Alex said. “I mean, you were at the winter dance and everything.”

“I’m in tenth grade,” Mads said.

“Wow, you’re little,” Jen said.

“Je-en,” Mo said.

Mads was stung. Why was Jen picking on her? Maybe she liked Alex, too.

“Leave her alone, Jen,” Alex said. “What are you drinking there? Beer? What’s the matter, don’t you like screwdrivers?”

Mads had never had a screwdriver before, though she had had vodka and cranberry juice, and it wasn’t bad.

“Sure I like them,” Mads said.

“Well, let’s go get you one,” Alex said. “I’m ready for another.”

“Get me one, too,” Jen said.

Alex didn’t get one for Jen. He and Mads soon forgot all about Jen. He mixed up a couple of strong screwdrivers, heavy on the vodka, and led Mads out to the living room.

“Hey, how was that hamburger you had last week?” Mads asked.

“What?” Alex didn’t know what she was talking about. Mads let it slide. The screwdriver was pretty good. It didn’t taste much like vodka. Mads drank it down and Alex got her another one. She felt a pleasant lightness at the top of her head. It made her feel goofy and brave. She wasn’t intimidated by Alex or Jen or Jane or Sean or anyone. She could say whatever she wanted. And Alex seemed to think every word that came out of her mouth was just adorable.

“Do you think it’s girly that Sean put out chips and snacks for us?” she asked Alex. They sat on the living room couch together, crammed between five other people, munching out. She reached into a bowl of chips and stuffed a few into her mouth.

“It’s not girly,” Alex said. “He’s taking care of his peeps. ‘Course, if he cut up carrot sticks and stuff, that would be girly.” He chomped on another chip. “So tell me your life story, kid. I figure it’s nice and short.”

“You know, my name’s not kid, it’s Madison,” Mads said.

“Yeah, I know, but I like calling you kid better. You don’t mind, do you?”

She was actually starting to like it. “What should I call you? Baby? Al?”

“Whatever turns you on, kid.”

“Listen, do you know Sean’s middle name?”

“No,” Alex said. “Why should I? Anyway, whatever it is, he doesn’t like to tell.”

“Huh. I wonder why?”

“It’s probably embarrassing. Happens to the best of us. So, life story. You were born—”

“I was born in Berkeley, blah blah blah. Why don’t you tell me yours?”

“Okay. I was born in SF, and I wish we’d never left. Don’t you hate this crappy town?”

“I think it’s pretty,” Mads said. “But I love the city, too.”

“Sure it’s pretty, but it’s so boring!” Alex said. “It has no edge.”

“Well, you’re a senior, right? So you won’t be stuck here much longer. Where do you want to go to college?”

“NYU, if I get in. New York is where it’s at.”

“I’ve never been. My friend Holly has. She says SF is dorky compared to New York.”

“She’s right. SF is cool, but it’s small-time.”

“Hey, that sort of rhymes.” Mads was a step or two behind in the conversation. “SF is dorky compared to New Yorky.”

“
You’re
dorky. Let me get you another one of those suckers. Oh wait, there’s Sean.” He held their plastic cups out to Sean, Who was wading through the tangle of legs and scolding a girl for not using an ashtray. “Sean! Refills!” Alex ordered.

“Hey, man, I’m not a damn waiter,” Sean said. He scowled at Alex. Mads took that opportunity to put Alex’s hand on her thigh, to make Sean jealous. Sean didn’t seem to notice. Opportunity lost. But somehow Mads didn’t care that much. It seemed a lot more important to get ahold of another screwdriver and keep that fizzy feeling in her head.

Alex grinned at Mads, squeezed her thigh and shrugged. “Sheesh, what a grouch. I’ll be right back.”

Mads spotted Lina and Holly standing by the front door, talking to Rob. Rob was leaning close to Holly. They almost looked like boyfriend and girlfriend.
Go Boobmeister
, Mads thought. Looks like she’ll be getting some action tonight. But what about Lina?

The front door opened and Jake walked in. Uh-oh—trouble? Good old Holly, she played it cool. She nodded at Jack and said hi, then turned back to Rob and kept talking. Jake actually orbited around the three of them for a few seconds, waiting for some kind of reaction. They ignored him. Finally Lina politely said something to him and pointed toward the kitchen. Mads thought she caught a stormy look cross Jake’s face. What a jerk. He treats Holly like dirt and expects her to come back for more?

Ah, here was Alex, back with four cups. “Sean’s running out of vodka, so I got us each two drinks,” he said.

“Smart,” Mads thought she said, but it came out sounding like “Schmart.” She giggled.

When Walker arrived, Lina was relieved in spite of herself. Rob and Holly were being nice, including her in their conversation and everything, but it was obvious they were really into each other and she found their coded love talk boring. None of her other friends were at the party, except for Mads, and she was busy giggling and drinking herself silly with Alex.

Lina started to get that feeling again, like she was floating above the room, watching everyone else have a good time but not participating herself. In a weird way, the party was more interesting from a distance. As if, floating invisibly over their heads, she could see the truth behind all the banality and bull everybody was spouting. She pretended she was seeing the party through Dan’s eyes, dispassionately, analytically, like an adult. People were beginning to get drunk, and they weren’t making a whole lot of sense.

Lina followed Walker to the kitchen for a fresh bottle of beer. “I didn’t know you were going to be here,” he said. “I would have asked you to come but I figured you were busy.”

Lina was flattered that he thought she had such a full social life, and decided to let him keep thinking it. “Oh, you know. Mads and Holly wanted to come.…”

Walker clinked the neck of his beer bottle against hers in a toast. “So what’s new on the scene? I checked your blog today. Beats ‘Nuclear Autumn’ by a mile. What does old Danny boy think of it? It’s an IHD project, right?”

Danny boy?
“He likes it so far.”

“I was reading an old issue of the
Seer
from last fall, and I saw a picture of you on the JV hockey team. You guys were pretty good this year, seven and three. Bet you make Varsity next fall.”

“Thanks.” Walker started talking about last week’s girls’ basketball game, but Lina couldn’t stop thinking about Dan, about his house, her poem with his scratched-out handwriting on it, and the secret they shared. She wished she could tell Walker about it, even though she knew that was stupid. Walker would probably be shocked. It gave Lina an oddly warm, good feeling to know that she had a shocking secret and no one suspected it. She could freak Walker out if she wanted to. She had the power. She simply chose not to use it. It was too much for a mere boy like Walker to handle.

“Hey. Didn’t think I’d see
you
here.”

Lina turned around. A girl was speaking to her. She looked very familiar, but it took Lina a second to place her. “Ramona?”

“What, you don’t recognize me? You’ve only known me for five years.”

Lina had never expected to see Ramona at Sean’s, and even more amazing, Ramona had come to the party without her usual goth drag. Her raven-black hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and she wasn’t wearing much makeup, maybe some lip gloss. Instead of her usual long black dress she wore jeans and a t-shirt.

“What are you doing here?” Lina asked.

“I live next door. I saw Sean was having a party so I figured I’d crash it. You?”

“Sean invited Mads,” Lina said. She paused. Walker said, “I’ll see you later, Lina,” and walked away.

“I hope I didn’t scare away your boyfriend,” Ramona said.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Lina said. “And anyway, you look a little less scary than usual, no offense.”

“I think I look scarier than usual,” Ramona said. “But do you know how long it takes to put on all that makeup? Sometimes I just don’t have the energy. And without the makeup, the clothes look all wrong.”

“So why do you do it?” Lina asked.

“It’s cool,” Ramona said. “And it looks beautiful. At least I think so.”

Lina just nodded.
To each her own
.

“So, who do you know here?” Ramona asked after a brief, uncomfortable silence.

“Nobody,” Lina said. “Just Walker and Holly and Mads. And Rob, I guess.”

“That’s not nobody.”

“Who do you know?”

“Just Sean. And you. But Sean doesn’t really pay attention to me. My mom knows his mom, but I don’t think he knows my name.”

“I get the feeling he’s bad with names,” Lina said.

They stood in silence for a few more minutes, the party clattering around them. Ramona lit a cigarette. Lina sighed. Holly was busy with Rob, and Mads was busy with Alex, and Walker had gone off somewhere, and there she was with Ramona. It was weird, but she almost felt grateful to Ramona. She was someone to talk to besides Walker. Or not talk to, as it turned out.

“Long as I’m here, I might as well have a beer,” Ramona said. She opened the fridge and grabbed a can. “Want to go out on the porch and watch the stoners make fools of themselves?”

“Okay.”

Mads rested her head on the back of the couch and stared at a plaster design on the living room ceiling. It blurred, then came back into focus. Wow. She was actually in Sean’s house! It really hit her now. Sean’s very own house! Where he grew up and did whatever private things he did. Mads was dying to see the upstairs. What did Sean’s room look like? Did he have posters? What color was his toothbrush?

“Hey, kid, you haven’t finished your last drink yet,” Alex said, staring into her plastic cup.

Mads lifted her head. Across the room, Sean fiddled with the stereo. He turned around and surveyed the party, his eyes resting on Mads for a split second. She waved to him. “Great party!” she yelled, but the music was loud and he couldn’t hear her.

“What?” he shouted.

Jane suddenly appeared and bumped her hip against his. He grabbed her and kissed her. They danced a little together. Sean never looked back at Mads to find out what she’d yelled to him. Probably just as well. It was lame anyway.

“Let’s go upstairs,” Mads said, getting woozily to her feet. “Come on. I want to see the upstairs.” She’d show Sean.

“Sure thing, kiddo,” Alex said. Kiddo. He thought he was so smooth. Mads liked him. But he was no Sean.

Did I just say that out loud?
Mads wondered. A glance at Alex’s tranquil, stoned face told her no, thank god.

Alex followed her up the stairs. “Which one is Sean’s room?” she asked.

“Down there.” Alex pointed down the hall. “But I don’t think Sean wants us to go in there.”

“I just want to see what it looks like.” Mads opened the door and peeked in. It wasn’t at all like she’d pictured it. There was a modern steel-framed bed with a woolly beige cover, a big red-and-blue Persian rug, and a spare black desk. On the wall hung a framed poster of a Kandinsky painting. Not very boyish. The only sign that Sean lived there was a bookcase filled with schoolbooks, sports trophies, and a few framed photos. Huh.

“It looks like his mom decorated it for him,” Mads said.

“She did. She’s pretty uptight about house stuff. But he’s more of a neat freak than you’d expect, too.”

“Interesting,” Mads said. She stopped in the hall bathroom. “Gotta pee,” she told Alex.

“I’ll wait for you,” Alex said.

Mads closed the door, peed, then checked out the medicine cabinet. Sean used a brown, wooden, natural-bristle toothbrush. She never would have guessed. And he shaved with an electric razor. And he used acne cream! Prescription acne cream! Mads read the label. “Sean Herman Benedetto.” His middle name was Herman? Somehow it didn’t quite fit. Mads shrugged. She knew that once she got used to it, Herman would become her second-favorite boys’ name, after Sean.

Alex knocked on the door. “Kid? Are you okay?”

She opened the door. “Fine. What’s next?” She wandered down the hall to the biggest room, a beautiful master bedroom with a sitting area and a fireplace. Must be his parents’ room.

“Wow. This is fancy,” Mads said. She sat on the bed. Sean’s mother’s bed. The cover was blue silk. Beneath her feet was a white rug with a black swirl pattern on it. Swirl, swirl, swirl…

Alex sat beside her. He kissed her forehead, then her cheek, then her mouth. “Hey, kid—”

Mads leaned back until she was lying on the bed. She had to. She felt so dizz…

“All right,” Alex murmured, kissing her. She turned her face away. No! She needed air! He definitely should not block her access to air.

“What’s wrong?” Alex asked.

“I feel dizzy,” Mads said.

“Uh-oh.” Alex stood up. “You know, you look a little pale. Here, sit up.”

He helped Mads sit up, but that didn’t help. Alex had a bad feeling about this. He could see where this was headed. And he didn’t want to be around when Sean freaked out.

“Hey, kid, you’ll be okay,” Alex said. “I’ll go get you some Coke to settle your stomach. Be right back.” He hurried downstairs.

Mads stared at the swirling rug pattern. Her stomach churned. How many vodkas did she have? Why did she have to drink so many? Why didn’t she finish her stir-fry at dinner like M.C. told her to? Ugh, she felt so sick.…

“Hey, what are you doing in here?” Sean stood in the doorway. “This is my mom’s room. Nobody’s supposed to be in here. Come on, kid, let’s go.”

Mads leaned forward. She meant to stand up. She meant to walk out of there, just like he wanted her to. But she never got that far. She crouched down and puked all over the carpet.

“Great. This is just great,” Sean muttered. Mads lay crumpled on the rug, vomit in her hair, moaning. Sean helped her up. “This is why I don’t like kids coming to my parties.” He led Mads to the bathroom. “If you’re going to hurl, do it in there. In the toilet. Not all over my mom’s rug.”