The Dead Fathers Club (8 page)

I woke up in the night and I heard a noise like a dog crying. I lay in bed in the dark and I wondered what the noises were. I listened and there was the bubble of the fish tank and the dog noises coming out of the wall. When I listened hard they sounded like Mum but weird like she was crying backwards.

I looked round the room and Dads Ghost wasnt there and I got out of bed and I looked out of the curtain and Dad wasnt by the Bottle Banks so maybe he was in the Terrors. And I walked past the fish tank and I waited behind my door and I thought What if its Uncle Alan killing Mum like he killed Dad?

I went out of my door and on the landing and the noise was louder and it was Mum. And I looked for a weapon but there was nothing and I went on the carpet and it was very dark and the patterns were moving and my heart was beat beatbeat and I was VERY SCARED.

Mums door was open only a tiny bit and I moved past her door so I could see in through the crack. And on the floor was her bra and the label which said Fortin and through the crack I saw the mirror on the dressing table and all Mums tubs and tans and pots like a city with lots of Skyscrapers. And in the mirror I saw Mum and a man and the man was Uncle Alan and it took me two seconds to work out what it was. In the first second I thought it was Uncle Alan fighting Mum but in the second second I knew he was having sex with her.

They had no clothes on and the light by the bed was on and the shadows were like giant monsters on the wall behind the mirror. They couldnt see me because I was in the dark and Mums eyes were closed and Uncle Alans head was the back of his head. And they had no clothes on and Mum was biting her mouth like she didnt want to make the noises but she was. And one of her hands and her shiny nails were in his back which was fat and her other one was under his big dirty hand and I saw his red bum wobble and her brown legs round him like a hug but with legs not arms. And Mums blonde hair was all out on the bed like she was underwater and that is when I saw Dads Ghost standing over them and watching.

I dont know if he had just flickered on or if hed been there all the time because I was just looking at the bed and not hearing anything just the noises and he was standing there and glowing like a glow worm.

He saw me and said Dont hate her Philip. Dont hate your Mum Philip. She cant see the rotten Cancer she is letting into this place. Its unnatural but she is too weak. He could kill her. He could kill you. It is up to you Philip. It is up to you to Revenge my murder and stop him before he gets any

Dads Ghost stopped because Mum started making bigger noises saying Oh Oh Oh.

Dads Ghost closed his eyes and then said Kill him Philip. Hes a snake. If you ever loved me youll kill him. Because every sound I hear in this room is killing me over and over. Its Hell Philip. Im in Hell.

I thought this was weird because he was acting like it was worse than the Terrors and I thought nothing was worse than the Terrors.

I didnt say anything. I just stood there and Dads Ghost flickered out and I stood there watching Mums mouth get wider and wider and wider and his big hands were grabbing her and then I think Mum opened her eyes just a little bit and I think she could see me but she didnt say anything just Oh Oh Oh.

I stepped back into the dark and back to my room and there was nothing in my head but IF YOU EVER LOVED ME and the dog noises.

 

When I got into bed I read Mums book that I had kept under the bed since before Hadrians Wall and the book was Murder Most Foul by Horatio Wilson. It is a book of true murders and people who might have been killed.

I stayed awake all night and I read it to see how I was going to kill Uncle Alan. I looked in it and there were lots of stories about different people. There was one about Marvin Gaye and I stopped because Marvin Gaye was Dads favourite singer. Marvin Gaye had a fight with his dad and then Marvin Gayes dad killed him with a gun and he wasnt a rapper so he died straight away.

There were pictures of dead bodies and there was a bit about people who might have died of murder and might not have like Napoleon Bonaparte who was French and might have died of POISON or might have died of Cancer in the stomach like Grandad. There was a man called Edgar Allan Poe like Poo who told stories about ghosts and he might be a ghost but everyone thought he had just got too drunk. And there was Marilyn Monroe who Mum watched about on TV and Princess Diana who Mum liked as well and a man called Christopher Marlowe who no one knows why he died he might have been a spy.

And the last story in the book was about a woman called LANA TURNER who was a film star in Hollywood ages and ages and ages ago and she won an Oscar which is the top prize and she was beaten up on that night by a gangster man she had sex with. Her child called Cheryl Crane killed the man for REVENGE. And I knew what Cheryl Crane would do to Uncle Alan she would kill him right now. She wouldnt wait and shes a girl!

In the morning I sat on the toilet. I had been and wiped but I didnt leave the seat. I just sat and watched the dust in the light make a universe with moving stars and planets and gold suns. I sat and stared into Space for I dont know how long not knowing what to do and then after some minutes my dads ghost came through the locked door. He looked at me for a while and didnt say anything. After a bit he said To be or not to be thats the question Philip.

I said What do you mean? and Uncle Alans heavy feet went by the door.

Dads Ghost said You must put an end to this son. There must be an end.

And I said But

But that is all I said because he flickered out. I just sat there a bit more still not flushing the chain and I was smelling my smell and thinking about what Dads Ghost said and what Dads Ghost meant and I knew he wanted me to kill Uncle Alan very soon and not wait until Dads Birthday.

I tried to think what I should do and I thought what other people would do and not just Cheryl Crane. This is when I thought of where I had seen someone who had to kill someone to get Revenge for their dad and that is when I thought of Spiderman.

Spiderman kills the Green Goblin who is Norman Osborn who is the Dad of Harry Osborn. Harry wants to kill Spiderman and get Revenge. But Spiderman is really Peter Parker and Peter Parker is Harrys best friend. In Spiderman 2 Harry finds out that Peter Parker is Spiderman. He doesnt know what to do but then he sees his dads ghost in a mirror telling him to Kill Spider-man. Then Harry smashes the mirror and he finds the Green Goblin costume and everything and in the Spiderman comics Harry becomes the second Green Goblin and plans to get his Revenge.

But Spiderman is a bit different to my problem. I dont have special powers like the Green Goblin and also Harry is cross with Peter Parker not just because of his dad but because of Mary Jane. Mary Jane is very pretty and she was Harrys girlfriend. But then Peter Parker made her his girlfriend and Harry said he was OK but he wasnt really because he still fancied Mary Jane.

And this is different to me and Uncle Alan because Uncle Alan hasnt pinched Leah he has pinched my mum. I dont fancy my mum even though she is pretty because if you fancy your mum it is DISGUSTING!

I got off the toilet and I flushed the chain and washed my hands and went back out and in the hallway I saw Uncle Alan and he made me jump out of myself and back in. And he was pretending to leave the Spare Bedroom but I had just heard his big feet leave Mums bedroom and Mum was nowhere still in bed.

He said Morning Philip.

He had his dressing gown open and on his T Shirt was the Cross of Saint George and it said ENGLAND GLORY.

I said nothing.

He said Morning Uncle Alan like that was what he wanted me to say but I didnt say anything.

I just went past him and his big hand went on my shoulder and the hand froze my body.

He said Youre going to be a good lad arent you Philip? Youre going to be a good lad and make sure you make your mum happy?

In an invisible ice cube out of my mouth I said Yes.

He said Good.

I looked at the butter. It had bits in because Uncle Alan left bits everywhere. He didnt wipe his knife and Mum used to mind it when Dad left bits in the butter or in the jam but she didnt mind Uncle Alans bits. I kept making eyes to the bits when Mum was looking at me but she didnt say anything.

He scraped his toast and the noise went all through me like a rough hairbrush and he said with a mouth of wet toast Arent we lucky Philip?

My eyebrows said Why?

Uncle Alan said Most men have to have breakfast with a badgers behind every morning and weve got this fine oil painting to look at.

I said Mums not a painting.

Uncle Alans toast was all mushy in his mouth in 1000 bits and he said Its a figure of speech Philip. A figure of speech.

He slurped his tea and I felt sick thinking about the toast and the tea in his mouth at the same time and Mum said If Im a painting Im one of those Picassio wotsits.

And she laughed.

Uncle Alan said One of those eye on the cheek jobbies.

And he laughed too.

Rain slapped on the window like it didnt like the joke and Mum said Oh Philip you cant walk round to school in this.

I said I can.

And Uncle Alan said Why dont I take him on my way round to the Garage?

And I had 75 answers in my head and answer one was Because you are a murderer who wants to kill me like you killed my dad and I dont know how to kill you yet.

Mum said What a good idea!

I said Its all right Ive got a hood.

The rain whooshed against the window and Uncle Alan said No ILL take you youll drown out there lad.

His eyes had mouth locks in them so I couldnt speak.

He finished his toast and he finished his tea and he went to get his blue overalls and Mum looked at me and smiled and in a whisper she said Thanks.

I said What for?

She said For making an effort with Alan.

I said Hes Uncle Alan.

She said Its very good of you Philip. Youre being very strong.

I said I want to walk to school.

She said Now come on. Its far too miserable. Right do you want to give me a hand putting all this in the dishwasher?

I looked at Mums neck and Mums face and I said Why are you so brown?

She said What do you mean Philip?

I said Your face. Your neck. Your arms.

She said Its only a bit of St Tropez.

I said Is it for him?

She said No. No its not you cheeky thing. Its for me.

I said Why? And why does he leave that there?

I pointed to his fishing rod leaning against the fridge.

She said Youre just one big question mark sometimes Philip honestly.

I said Do you love him?

In a whisper voice she wanted me to catch she said Philip.

I said Hes going to stay here now for ever isnt he?

She said Philip stop it.

I said What about Dad?

She said Philip please.

Uncle Alan the big blue giant came in the room and broke the thought with flying high eyebrows and he said Right lets go.

He smiled the Show Mum Smile that straightened Mums back and made her lift her chin like a cat.

And he went over and kissed her cheek and patted her bum and this was Uncle Alan saying he was the new King of the Castle.

He said Ill be back a bit late tonight.

Mum looked at me with scared eyes and the look said Uncle Alan was here for ever and she said Right OK.

I followed the big blue giant downstairs thinking I can kill him I can kill him. We went outside in the rain and he beeped the locks and I got in and hated the wet feeling in the dry car and I wished Id just walked in the rain and then Uncle Alan was there next to me moving his seat back and the rain on his face running down like tears.

He twisted his key and woke up the car and he said The thing about cars Philip theyre like people. Theyve got different personalities and this ones a grumpy old bugger who aint too perky in the mornings.

And I thought Dont try and be nice dont try and be nice.

He switched on the heater and the windscreen wipers that couldnt catch up with the rain and he looked out for traffic leaning forward and squinting. He said Youre not sure about me are you Philip?

I said What?

He said Youve got your doubts.

He pulled out on the road.

I said nothing.

He said Im not your dad Philip. I never will be.

I said nothing.

He said I just care a lot about your mum. About both of you.

Rain wipers rain wipers rain.

He said I know you want whats best for her and so do I.

Words water words water words.

He said Im not pretending its easy for you.

Dad killer Pub smasher Mum fucker.

He said Nearly there.

I said Just drop us off here.

He said I can take you to the gates.

I said Its all right.

He said Youll get drenched lad.

I said Its all right.

He said Ill take you to the gates.

I said I can get out here.

He said Its only round the blooming corner.

I said I want to get out.

He said Jesus.

He stopped the car in the road with another car behind beeping and I did my seat belt and got out and I said Bye and he said Bye like an echo and he drove off watching me and I turned the corner and there was school and I made my steps last because it was Rugby today. So I let the rain drum its tune on my coat as the others ran past me over the road to the school gates with bars like teeth ready to eat another day out of them and out of me.