The Decimation of Mae (The Blue Butterfly) (15 page)

He swallowed, his eyes soaking up my words. “But you came
back, refusing me any peace before I get to leave. My secrets will go with me,
Master. They need to go with me. Please don’t push them from me, I will never
forgive myself if…” Noise down the alley made us both jump, pulling us from our
moment of honesty and connection.

“We need to go,” he said. He turned to take my hand once
more. “I will not let you go until I know everything you’re hiding from me,
lamb. I’m sorry if that grieves you, but you will make your peace before you
leave. Whether it be with me, God or even yourself, those secrets will no
longer be mysteries to the world before you leave it.”

I begged to differ.

      Master grabbed my hand and
pulled me out of the taxi. The fresh air had intensified my drunkenness, taking
my stability and exchanging it for unsteadiness, the world beneath my feet as
tilted as my posture. His arm slid around my waist when I swayed and bumped
into the cab door. He rolled his eyes at the driver as he shoved some money at
him. “Excuse my girlfriend’s attempts to destroy your car. Any damage, you can
find me here at this address.”

The driver smiled and waved him off. “Don’t worry, mate.
It’s dealt with more than a body or two denting the door.”

Master nodded and took hold of me, shutting the door with
his hip as he led me towards the house. “How much have I allowed you to drink?”

I giggled as I fell up the first step. “You make a
useless guide dog.”

He shook his head but chuckled as he slid the key in the
door and it swung open. “I’m so thirsty,” I told him as I licked at the salt
still lingering on my lips from the chips I’d greedily devoured. “I need a nice
white wine spritzer. You know how to make them, Master?”

He didn’t answer. The door handle jabbed my hip as I
tried to manoeuvre myself through the door and I turned to scowl at it; damn
thing should have moved out of my way. “Maybe we could try different wines to
make our own concoction. You have enough varieties down in your cellar to…”

I slammed to a halt when I witnessed our welcome
committee. Master stood rigid before me but I didn’t miss how he shifted in
front of me, shielding me from whoever had come to greet us.

The Demi-whore was stood with a smirk on her face, Frank
beside her; great worry on his soft face as his eyes found mine. I waved to
him, grinning at the sight of his calming features. “Hey Frank, you missed a
great night out. Next time you must come with us.”

He frowned, his head shaking slightly from side to side
as though warning me of something. His gaze flicked to the man next to him
before he lowered his eyes. I turned to look at whomever Frank wanted me to
see. He was a big bloke, his huge muscles contained in an expensive charcoal
suit. His face was as dark as his attire, the deep rich chocolate of his eyes
as familiar as the structure of his strong chin.

“Hi,” I greeted as I stepped from behind Master. “I’m Mae.”

He didn’t move, his body locked as his hands clasped tightly
in front of him. He slid his stern stare from Master to me. “I know who you
are. I’m presuming you have no idea who I am?”

His dialect and accent was the exact same as Master’s and
I frowned, pursing my lips as I studied him. “I’m gathering you’re a relation
of Master’s.”

Master stiffened but remained silent. Tension rolled from
him in waves but I couldn’t understand why. The man took a step towards us, his
eyes still fixed on me. “Nadu!” He suddenly barked.

Instinct sent a potent warning through me. I couldn’t say
what it was but I knew it was important that I follow orders from this man, for
Master’s sake as much as my own.

I dropped into position beside Master, taking comfort
from his proximity as fear drowned out the alcohol in my system and filled me
with dread. He relaxed slightly at my obedience. I slackened further when he
placed his hand gently on top of my head. “Good girl,” he whispered tightly. I
didn’t acknowledge his praise. I remained still as was expected of me, my chin
high but my eyes on nothing specific.

The older man circled around me, his steps rhythmic and
heavy, hypnotising me. Master’s thumb stroked slowly across the crown of my
head, soothing as well as supporting me. Something was off. Master’s
apprehension, Demi’s delight, Frank’s anguish were all notifying me that I
needed to behave for once.

“Tell me,” the man addressed me. “I’m intrigued. Where
did your outing tonight take you?”

Oh shit. I knew instantly that we were in trouble. Panic
rushed through me causing my heart rate to speed up as my stomach twisted with
anguish. “Uhh…”

I yelped when his fingers gripped my hair. He stood
behind me, his body close. His anger suffocated me, filling every fibre of me
with fear as his supremacy ruled over everyone in the room. Master stepped to
the side but I caught the tightening of his fist from the corner of my eye.
“Father…” he attempted but the large man ignored him, bending into me until his
mouth was beside my ear.

“Answer my question!”

“It was my fault, sir. I…” I cried out as his grip
hardened, the pull on my roots burning my scalp as he yanked me upright. My
hands instinctively rose to his, my fingers wrapping around his as I attempted
to loosen his hold.

“Do not insult me with your lies, girl.”

“I’m not. I asked to get drunk one last time before I…
before I die.”

He scoffed and started to drag me across the room. “Meet
me in your office in one hour,” he spoke to Master without looking his way.

“Father, this has nothing to do with Mae. It was my
decision.”

“Do you not think I already know that, boy? Your subject
needs to know her place. I will deal with you after I have instilled some
discipline into her. You both need to accept the consequences of your actions.”

What the hell was wrong with this guy? “We didn’t do
anything wrong. I didn’t leave Master’s side. I … Christ!” I squealed when he
tugged harder on my hair. “If I’d have wanted to lose my hair I would have
undergone chemo!”

“MAE!” Master barked, chastising me for my rudeness.

“Do not worry, Daniel. I’ll teach her some manners.” The
certainty with which he spoke filled me with fear. I had no doubt he would
stick to his promise.

I suddenly knew who had given the order for my auction.
Master’s father managed the business, if one could call it a business. I was
also aware of some deep control issues between father and son. However their
relationship was the least of my worries. I was more concerned how far this man
would take my punishment. It wasn’t difficult to presume he was far fiercer
than his son, the way he dragged me through the house told me how
self-important he was, how much he demanded respect and how he considered
himself superior to anyone else.

“Demi,” Master’s father spoke kindly to the very person
who didn’t deserve any respect. “Please prepare Lola for indulgence, but before
that I require her presence to witness what her rival’s behaviour brings.”

Lola? Rival? I wasn’t aware of any rivalry going on. I
knew there was another in the same situation as me, but rivals? I wouldn’t have
exactly described us as that, more like allies who had both been thrust into a
horrific nightmare.

My eyes caught Master’s before I was pulled through a
door. His expression was of apprehension but mostly guilt. I didn’t understand
the reason for that; it was my fault. Even though Master had made the
suggestion, I knew it was because of our connection that he had relented and
tried to give me something ‘normal’ before I died. His compassion had turned
into punishment. But I needed to take it, if only for his sake.

It was this thought, that I was willing to take punishment
to save my Master that caused me greater anguish than the reprimand that was
coming. I couldn’t grasp why I wanted to shield him when he had done nothing
but hurt me. The way my thoughts showed more concern for my Master than me
worried me.

I did wonder if it was the tumour fogging everything that
filled my head, contorting normality into make-believe, taking emotions that
should be there and structuring something false in their place.

However, these thoughts didn’t last long when my
punishment began. Every single thought in my head turned to pain and misery as
Master’s father showed me exactly why he reigned above his son.

Lola turned out to be a pretty girl with long lustrous
blonde hair and deep inquisitive blue eyes; piercing blue eyes that supported
me throughout the duration of my Master’s father’s hour long rapes and
beatings.

Lola’s sad face kept me going in the worst hour I had ever
witnessed. I had thought once that Daniel’s rape couldn’t ever be matched in
darkness but his father showed me just how naive I had been. He demonstrated
that however terrible I thought life had become, there was a deeper more
intense terror that could be found with each sick and twisted way he took me.

He lapped at my blood whilst he drove pain and torment
through my brittle body. His sickening grunts of satisfaction filled me with a
misery I had never experienced before in my short twenty one years. He took me
with sickening objects, sex toys that belonged in some sick fetish club, as
well as himself, and once
as well
as himself, many, many times; some so vile
they actually caused me to vomit. But that didn’t stop him, he continued to
torture with whips, floggers, a long thin crop plugged with barbed metal spikes
until I was a wreck. My skin hung loosely from my limp body as my tears stung
the numerous cuts and grazes to my face.

Yet, it was his cruel words of disgust and degradation
that finally broke my will to live; the humiliating names, the shameful
declarations of what he was doing to me and the insults about how useless I was
for him. The way he used and abused me was nothing to the way he persecuted my
self-belief and destroyed my character.

Each tear that spilled from Lola gave me the courage to
hold on to my sanity. Each small smile she managed to give me throughout my ordeal
showed me that someone was with me, embracing me spiritually and telling me to
hold the fuck on to the end. She refused to let me go all the way through it as
she knelt for an hour where she had been told, her strong stare linking with
mine and telling me silently that I wasn’t alone during my travel through hell.

I held onto her gaze, greedily taking whatever she gave
me until the suffering became too much and I sank into the misery my
subconscious had waiting for me.

I didn’t see Master for many days after our night out. He
never came to me in my fevered days of oblivion. I put my state down to the
fact that my poorly brain couldn’t cope with anymore; and I let it be, allowed
it to rest.

I was somewhat aware of Pauline and Frank’s presence,
sometimes the deep scratch of Dr Galloway’s medication pulling me from my
frenzied dreams, but it was the fact my subconscious forever hunted for the
dark man that had taken my soul that refused me any rest.

I woke after four days to bright sunshine seeping through
the window. My room was empty, my breathing the only sound in the room as the
serenity of the wall of butterflies soothed the jargon in my mind. Before my
vision was granted focus, the soft fluttery wings on each insect appeared to
wave and flicker, their morning dance accompanying the deep rich song of the
spring birds.

I frowned when one particular butterfly, the bright blue
one I forgot the name of, pulled away from the rest and drifted along a ray of
sunshine towards me. It landed softly on the very edge of my bed, its gentle
black eyes staring at me. Its wings curled around its body, cocooning itself
protectively as it considered me for a moment.

We held each other in a gaze of awe and amazement, as
though neither of us had ever witnessed the other being before. It shifted
slightly, its tiny body vibrating as it attempted to both protect itself but
allow me access to its beauty.

Neither of us moved, both of us prisoners to each other
and the room. It sympathised with me, I could feel its pity and sorrow. I could
sense its promise of paradise, the fantasy of glory forthcoming and I knew its
message was from the heavens, giving me guidance for the coming end.

“I’m ready,” I whispered, not caring how stupid or
strange it seemed. I needed it to deliver my message and bring me the peace I
so craved for. I hungered for death now, craved for the oblivion of the end. “Please.
Hurry.”

“Mae?”

I blinked as the room finally came into focus and
Pauline’s voice broke the spell of the moment. There was only myself seated on
the large bed, the pretty blue butterfly once again housed on the wall next to
its neighbours. I stared at it, willing it to move. I needed to know my brain
wasn’t deteriorating further but it remained still, frozen in its own death as if
it hadn’t forewarned me of mine.

“How are you feeling?”

I stared at Pauline with bewilderment. She seemed more
out of concept than the butterfly had.

“Are you okay? You look a little pale.” She bustled over
to me, placing the back of her hand on my forehead.

Nothing seemed to work; my mind, my body, my senses, they
were all frozen and slack. My mouth wouldn’t form words as I stared at her, the
only thing that seemed to work was my eyesight.

“Okay, honey,” she soothed as she directed me back
against the mattress. “I’m going to fetch Dr Galloway. I’ll be right back.”

I couldn’t nod, my brain wouldn’t tell my head what to
do. My lungs still forced air in and out, my eyes still showed me what the
world was up to, my nostrils still told me breakfast was cooking, yet my brain
couldn’t seem to decipher any of the information these senses were detecting.

I didn’t panic. I didn’t worry. I was too high on
confusion to decode what was happening. The serenity that ran through me calmed
any anguish that my sudden disability brought, taking away any fear that death
portrayed.

The birds sang even louder as though heralding my journey
into heaven, their arousing song stunning and delightful.

I managed a small smile as my eyes slid closed and I
welcomed peace.

“She’s deteriorating.”

Master’s voice echoed through my head but my brain still
refused to control any muscle or joint in my tired body. Exhaustion was the
only thing I felt, although my senses were still aware. I could smell the
subtle aroma of Master’s scent, his unique trace of citrus and mint mixed with
his woody cologne. I could hear each word that was spoken, I could even taste
whatever Pauline had cooked up that day but I was trapped inside a frozen body;
a useless form, a living corpse.

“Yes, I’m afraid she is.” Dr Galloway’s voice was filled
with compassion and sadness as he replied to Master’s words.

“How long does she have?”

The doctor sighed, as though weighing up my life. “I’m
not too sure. A week, maybe two.”

Silence descended around me as anger controlled my thoughts.
I thought the butterfly had told of my plea, that it had come to take me. But
now I knew it had just been my tumour playing cruel tricks on my brain.

“Will she remain this way… paralysed?” Master’s question
caused my heart to speed up. I didn’t want to lose the ability to move in the
last moments. I had refused treatment because of its debilitating symptoms.

“No. Your father’s beating caused her brain to swell.
That in itself is putting the tumour under some difficult strain. Once the
swelling has subsided she should feel much better. Give her time to rest,
Daniel. I’ll make her as comfortable as possible.”

“Yes.”

I tried to frown at the small squeak in Master’s voice but
of course, I couldn’t.

“I…” The doctor paused, deliberating his words. “There’s
something special about this one?”

A suffocating atmosphere suddenly descended, filling the
air with a thickness that my lungs struggled to cope with. “Special?”

“Forgive me if you think I’m being forward Daniel but… I
can’t understand why you seem to care. She’ll be removed from your guidance
soon. You educate and sculpt, then send them to the highest bidder, that’s how
it’s always been. But this one seems to have…”

“Enough!”

“I’m being a friend here, not a colleague. Talk to me,
Daniel.”

“You can leave now.” Master was final in his words, the
doctor sensed it as much as I did.

“Fine,” Dr Galloway sighed. “But be careful, Daniel. Your
father will make you both pay for any relationship you develop.”

“There is no relationship, Philip. She is just… just the
stock that has seen the highest bids.”

The doctor scoffed and I could picture him shaking his
head. “Sure.”

Nothing more was said before the door clicked closed. I
was sure I was alone until soft fingers brushed away a strand of hair that was
tickling my nose. A physical sadness filled the air when Master sighed heavily.
I tried so hard to open my eyes when his thumb stroked the length of my
cheekbone and he repeated a sigh.

But then he was gone, quiet once more enveloping me as
sleep did the same.

“You look much better.” Pauline smiled widely at me as I
lifted another spoon of soup to my mouth. I gave her a small smile in return.

I wasn’t sure how much more time had passed since I had
overheard Master and the doctor’s conversation but I hadn’t heard or sensed him
again after that.

Pauline’s soup seemed to have miracle qualities, aiding
me and building my strength with every swallow. “This soup is good, Pauline. Do
you make it yourself?”

She nodded as she pulled various clothes from the huge
wardrobe. “Yes.” She smiled proudly. “It was my mother’s recipe. Chicken,
celery and a secret item.”

I laughed with her. “Well it’s wonderful. Thank you.”

She gave me a pained smile and I narrowed my eyes on her.
“What?”

She wrung her fingers furiously and took a deep breath.
“Master requires your company with some visitors tonight.”

“Oh.” I didn’t like the swoop of anguish in my stomach.
Nerves and anxiety put me off my food and I placed the spoon beside the
half-filled bowl. “Will it… will it be like the breakfast?”

She knew I was referring to the pedestal. She swallowed
and nodded. “Just do as you are expected and everything will run like
clockwork.” Her false enthusiasm intensified the anxiety inside me.

“Do I have a choice?”

Her brow puckered, her age instantly showing on her
worried face. She didn’t answer my question but she didn’t have to. We both
knew that I definitely didn’t have a choice.

She held up a beautiful deep red dress with a hopeful
smile. “Look how pretty this is, Mae. You will look stunning.”

I nodded faintly. “I suppose there’s underwear to match.
If you can call it underwear.” I knew I would have to wear the bloody
half-knickers that were expected last time.

“Yes. And please wear them this time. You could have
gotten Master into a lot of trouble if your last ensemble had been witnessed.”

I rolled my eyes at her. “Oh we can’t have Master getting
into trouble, can we?”

She gave me a worried glance, her brow pinched and a
slight tightening to her lips. “Please, as much for your benefit as his. Master
Robert will be at tonight’s celebrations. Don’t anger him any further Mae,
please.”

I presumed Master Robert to be Master’s father. I nodded,
understanding completely that what he had done to me had probably only been a
portion of what he could deliver. I had never met anyone as cruel and twisted
as him and I was adamant I didn’t want to meet his violent side again.

“Fine.”

She smiled widely at me, relief in her eyes. “Come, let’s
get you ready. I’ll make you look pretty.”

I huffed as I climbed from the bed. “Yeah, good luck with
that.”

I stood staring at the door as Pauline flustered around
me, her nervous fiddling with sections of my hair irritating me. “Pauline,
please, it’s fine. In fact it’s perfect.”

My chest tightened as my stomach clenched with nerves. I
couldn’t pinpoint why but I knew something big was to happen behind the door to
the room where Master and I had shared a bottle of expensive whisky. Call it
premonition or just plain instinct, it didn’t matter, I just knew deep in my
soul that that night would change many things.

The door opened and Master stepped out. The tightness in
my chest at the sight of him was both comforting but confusing. His handsome
familiarity and strength gave me a sense of protection but the way his stare
hardened cautioned me.

“Master?”

He pursed his lips and straightened his spine, both
actions intending to remove our new relationship. Whatever had happened whilst
I had been out of it had taken away his compassion and replaced it with a
deep-seated disgust. The way his cold eyes roved over my body and the small
sneer that crafted his mouth made me realise our friendship was over.

I was angry with him but at the same time I understood why.
I knew his father had been as cruel to him over his leniency with me as he had
been to me. However, I was more upset that he had just dropped our mutual
understanding of each other without fighting for what he actually wanted. Or
maybe this
was
what he wanted and I had just misread the signals he had
given off.

He had admitted that there was something about me that
made his usual cruelty veer off towards something warmer. Even if he hadn’t
understood what it was, I had. So the fact that he had once more allowed the
bitterness to consume him and destroy what little hope he’d had of redemption
disappointed and hurt me.

He stepped towards me, causing me to stiffen. He narrowed
his eyes. I could sense the change in him and I preserved what little dignity I
had left by shutting him out as much as he had closed himself off to me.

“It is imperative that you behave tonight, Mae.” He
turned to Pauline. “Did you make sure she was obedient in my choice of
underwear?”

Pauline nodded. “Yes, Master.”

He nodded. “Thank you. You may leave.” I was surprised
Pauline didn’t curtsey before she hurried away.

Master turned back to me, his eyes once again studying my
figure in the silk red dress he had requested I wore for him. His tongue snaked
across his lips, dampening them as his gaze dropped to look at my tiny feet
slotted into the ridiculously high red heels.

He tipped his head as he lifted his eyes back to my face.
“You look very beautiful. Thank you for your cooperation tonight.”

I snorted loudly and shook my head. “Cooperation, Master?
I think we both know it is nothing to do with cooperation. Cooperation suggests
that you allow yourself to aid the person that needs help. And come on, whether
or not I want to assist, you demand it of me.”

He glowered at me, his chest heaving in anger. His
fingers gripped my chin, bruising my tender jaw under his punishing hold. “Not
tonight, Mae. I will not stand for your rebellion.”

I locked my jaw defiantly, silently telling him that
whatever pain he inflicted, I would take it and refuse to let it destroy me.
“Oh you needn’t worry, Master. I gather my buyer is here tonight and the last
thing I would want to do is put him off. The last thing we both want is to be stuck
with each other.”

His eyes widened at my outburst but his fingers dug into
my cheeks so he could pull my face close. The spiteful smirk on his face made
my heart thud precariously. “I wouldn’t worry about that too much, lamb. The
loser doesn’t get to stay behind either.”

The way he said it, full of unspoken promise, surged
dread through every single fibre of me. “What do you mean? What happens to the
loser?”

He barked out a tight laugh. “Tell me, Mae. What happens
to other pawns in a game when they don’t make it to the end square?”

“I don’t understand….”

“Oh, come on. You understand perfectly. Pawns that
provide no value to the game are disposed of. They are of no use when the other
game piece has won.”

I gawped at him. “No…”

His expression changed suddenly, sadness and regret
creeping over the hatred that previously possessed him. “I’m afraid that’s how
this game works, little lamb. I told you I would lead you to your slaughter…
alive or dead.”