The Devil Couldn't Break Me (12 page)

I wanted to help the girl so much but Kupi wouldn't have it.

“She'll come round in an hour or two don't worry.”

He pointed to the bedroom.

“I won't tell you again.”

“Yes Azem.”

I lay on the bed and sobbed like a baby. As a small girl I truly believed in monsters and now I knew it to be true. The monsters were alive and well and more than real and they were walking amongst us.

The nightmare had returned, it was by far the worst thing I had ever witnessed and although I felt for the girl, the one thing that stood out was Lule watching that terrible spectacle, not only watching but seemingly enjoying the show, revelling in the pain and humiliation the girl was suffering. She came into the bedroom soon after, looking for more cigarettes.

I couldn't help myself as I berated her.

“How could you watch such a thing? How could you sit there and say nothing?”

I didn't even get a reaction from her as she found her cigarettes, pulled one from the box and lit up.

“You are the most evil disgusting creature I have ever met,” I said through gritted teeth. “How do you sleep at night?”

Lule stopped as she reached the door. She told me I was the lucky one, said it could have

been me Azem had
thrown to the dogs.
I wanted to rush forward and attack her as I clenched my fists and stiffened up but I managed to control myself. And that night I had to lie with her once again as she snored and broke wind throughout the night. Once again sleep would not come to me until the early hours of the morning. In my head I had the images of that poor, broken, degraded girl and the evil smile of the woman lying next to me.

A Deal - Sold to the Highest Bidder

Azem Kupi strolled into the bedroom the following morning acting as if events of the previous day hadn't happened. I woke as he leaned over the bed smiling, rousing both Lule and I with the remark that it was a beautiful morning and that we would be going out for the day.

Lule jumped out of bed quicker than I had seen her move for some time and greeted him with a kiss on the cheek. I thought it was so false and more than a little pathetic. He brushed her away, almost ignoring her as he stared at me for some time. I felt so very uncomfortable and had no intention of getting out of bed as he stood in the room. Lule announced she needed to go to the bathroom and thankfully Kupi followed after her. I jumped up quickly and pulled on my jeans. I noticed they were looking rather grubby and I was more than aware that my other clothes were starting to smell too. Lule had offered me a pair of her old, torn jeans but the thought of wearing anything she had worn repulsed me. But perhaps I would need to take up Lule's offer soon; otherwise my clothes would fall to pieces. They hadn't even been washed since I'd been held captive, as I had nothing else to put on. I sighed out loud and I asked myself the same old question as I wondered how long they would keep me there. I shook my head, ran my fingers through my hair and walked through to the lounge. I felt dirty and unkempt. Naim sat by the table. I asked him where Kupi was and he smiled and pointed to the bathroom. I listened and heard some banging and noises coming from Lule that made it fairly obvious what was going on. After a few minutes Kupi re-appeared grinning as he did up his belt buckle.

As he passed me he spoke.

“How I wished that was you in there Laura. But business is business and you're worth a lot of money to me.”

What was he talking about?

Kupi sat at the table with Naim and they started to talk. I don't know where the courage came from but the words just seemed to tumble out of my mouth.

“What did you mean by that?”

They looked at each other and the two of them both grinned.

“Get me a coffee,” he said, “I'll tell you when I'm good and ready, when the deal has been arranged.”

“What deal?” I asked as I stood with my hands on my hips trying to look determined.

“Coffee,” he said quietly, “then perhaps we can talk.”

I sat at the table with Kupi and Naim with three cups of steaming hot coffee. Kupi had almost drained his cup before he even looked at me.

“So what do you want to know?”

“I want to know what you meant by business being business.”

Kupi looked at Naim again and I could see that whatever they were talking about had been discussed before.

Kupi took me by the hand and spoke softly but he spoke in a patronising manner.

“Have you heard of trafficking?”

I shook my head.

“I thought not,” he said. “You've led a sheltered little existence so let me explain.”

Kupi educated me in the next ten minutes. He told me about the sex trade and the prostitutes and the brothels that he and his gang controlled in Pristina and the surrounding areas. I listened in horror as he explained that the brothels were ‘small change' and that the prostitutes walking the streets of Pristina were nothing but trouble and always looking to cheat him. Kupi spoke quite passionately about how he protected them and how they abused that trust. I was astonished at his attitude, as if these girls truly belonged to him, as if he had every right to exploit them and take their money. He said that he was always punishing them but they would never learn. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

“Once a street whore always a street whore,” He said.

I wondered if the girl who had been raped and beaten the other day was one of Kupi's street girls. He said he was tired of them and that putting the problem onto someone else by selling the girls was the easiest option.

“You sell them?” I asked.

“Yes,” Kupi said, “I am tired of them, it's far easier to sell them on.”

“But how can you sell a girl that doesn't belong to you?” I asked naively. “How can you sell a human being at all?”

Kupi leaned forward and spoke in a whisper.

“But they do belong to me Laura. Just like you.”

I stood up angrily.

“I belong to no one.”

Kupi looked at Naim and they both laughed, then he lunged at me and grabbed me by the hair forcing me back onto the seat.

“Just who the fuck do you think you are?” he spat. “So who do you think you belong to? The Americans? Your parents? No one has come to look for you have they? No one gives a fuck about you.”

“Please Azem you are hurting me.”

He had changed in an instant as he snarled at me.

“You're my bitch and don't forget it and yes, I'm going to sell you too, because you are a sweet innocent little virgin girl and there's plenty of rich men out there who are only happy to pay out a small fortune for someone like you.”

I felt the tears welling up inside me as I started to shake.

“Sell me? You can't sell me I don't...”

Kupi slapped me hard across the face.

“You're not listening to me mother fucker.”

He screamed as he pulled my face onto the table and held it there.

“You're my bitch and you're being sold, the deal is already done.”

Kupi's words were haunting. I can still hear them to this day.
The deal is already done.
He released my hair and I lifted my head from the table as I stared at him. Then his persona changed. He smiled again, even stroked my face at one point. It was Jekyll and Hyde.

“Now, enough of this. We're going out for some lunch so you'll need to get ready.”

“Lunch?”

What sort of sick game is he playing, I thought.

“Yes, I'm taking you to lunch with some friends, I told you earlier.” He stood. “You need to get out of here for a little while, you've been here too long.”

Kupi summoned Lule and instructed her to wash and dry my clothes. I went back into the bedroom and removed everything, as I stood naked before her.

“Great body,” she said. “What a shame you are wasting it.”

She told me they would be ready in an hour and I was so thankful that I would be wearing clean clothes again and more relieved that I wouldn't have to wear anything that had come into contact with her skin.

The next few hours were all rather bizarre. Lule brought me my clean clothes, all nicely pressed and I took a hot shower, applied a little make up and changed. I felt so refreshed and clean and actually realised that I was looking forward to going out. Kupi stood up as I walked into the lounge and looked me up and down as he threw me an approving type of look.

“Good,” he said, “that's better.”

He looked at Lule.

“Get her coat, it's bitterly cold out there and we don't want her to freeze.”

Lule disappeared into the hallway and came back with two coats. Kupi told her that she wasn't coming. She was staying in the apartment with Naim. She was furious as she glared at me. She'd obviously assumed she would be coming too.

Kupi looked at his watch.

“Ten minutes,” he said.

Sure enough in ten minutes time there was more movement from the hallway and two of the guards walked into the apartment. Kupi threw me some car keys.

“Can you drive?” he said.

I nodded.

“Good. I'll tell you where to go once we get to the car.”

The thought of escape was never far from my thoughts as we made our way down the stairs and into the street. I was immediately on the lookout for a policeman or a UN peacekeeper. I told myself I would take off and run to them. As if reading my mind Kupi spoke.

“Don't try anything stupid, we are all armed and one of us will shoot you dead on the spot.”

As if to make a point he pulled his coat open to reveal the handle and stock of some sort of automatic machine gun that was small enough to be hidden in a large pocket that had been specially stitched in. But still I looked hard at the pavements and the road praying that someone with a blue beret would somehow appear from nowhere. Despite the threat I was ready to take a chance. I prayed that my will to escape was stronger than their desire to kill me.

One of Kupi's guards opened the driver's door and I climbed in and started the car. I couldn't help feeling that I had been somehow transported back to normality. I'd always loved driving and despite everything that had happened and what Kupi had said about selling me I genuinely enjoyed pushing the car into gear and pressing the accelerator to the floor and for a few delicious seconds I was free.

Kupi sat in the passenger seat and unbuttoned his coat so that I was always aware of the presence of his gun. The usual wise cracks came from the guards about female drivers as they joked about reverse parking. Kupi laughed each time and appeared to be quite relaxed. He told me to take the E80 out of the city and head towards Maxhunaj. The traffic was light and there was no sign of any NATO troops on the ground. I prayed under my breath that I would see a roadblock heavily policed. It was my only chance of escape, perhaps I could crash into it before Kupi and his gang could do anything about it and by the time they realised what was happening, armed police and soldiers would surround the vehicle. It was easy enough to plan the scenario in my head but I wondered if I could carry it out when it mattered.

But there were no roadblocks and no soldiers. Kupi had planned the route well. We passed through Vushtrii and we drove another few kilometres then Kupi told me to turn to the left.

We followed a minor road for no more than half a mile and then looming up ahead was a large stone and wood building that turned out to be a restaurant specialising in pizzas. I pulled into the neat car park and we all got out. Kupi hadn't been lying, it did look as if we were going for lunch and I wondered if this was my opportunity to escape. Lunchtime meant there were many vehicles in the car park and I dared to hope that there would be some hungry police officers or soldiers who just happened to have decided to eat there too.

But I would be disappointed. The restaurant was full of men but not one of them wore a uniform. There were no women or girls, except for the waitresses who served the food and what was more alarming was that everyone seemed to know Azem Kupi and his gang. As we made our way to a pre-booked table on the far side of the restaurant, they greeted and acknowledged him, one or two even stood and offered a handshake. My hopes were dashed in an instant, this was Kupi's patch, his den, his lair, somewhere he felt safe and at home. It was exactly why he'd chosen to come here.

And so we ate pizza, delicious pizza and for a short period of time my life took on an air of normality as we sat in a restaurant (albeit surrounded by Kupi's men) while waitresses passed pleasantries and brought us drinks and food.

But business was also on the agenda as towards the end of the meal another two men joined us. They appeared to be interested in me and one of them took a photograph with a small camera while Kupi kept looking at me much in the same way a proud father would look at his daughter. One of the men mentioned a doctor and a test and Kupi said they would not be disappointed.

Driving home I realised it all made perfect sense. He'd took me there to conclude the final piece of the transaction, to have proof that I truly existed and I knew exactly why they'd mentioned a doctor. This was more than common in Muslim society particularly the richer families of potential husbands to be. They had been talking about a virginity test.

The drive home was nothing more than a blur as everything fell into place and I realised that Kupi's outburst in the apartment was not a veiled threat but something that had been discussed, planned, brokered and implemented. I took the opportunity to look at Kupi on the drive home as he sat in the passenger seat. He looked as if he didn't have a care in the world. He looked like the cat that had just been handed the plate of cream.

As we drove into Pristina I didn't even bother to look for a policemen or a soldier. I was in despair, almost broken. By way of a celebration Kupi took Lule into our bedroom again and they had sex. Needless to say I was made to watch their depravity yet again. Lule asked me time and time again to join in the fun but for some reason Kupi didn't. I took that to mean one thing. That he didn't want to be tempted into damaging the goods.