The Devil Couldn't Break Me (15 page)

“Is everything okay?” the barman asked.

Kupi's wallet was in his hand and he pulled out a fifty-dollar note, which he pressed into the barman's palm. It was his answer to everything as he told the barman to take his wife out at the weekend. The barman looked at me.

“Are you sure you're okay darling?”

I looked at Kupi and then at the guard, as time seemed to stand still. I wanted to run into the barman's arms and break down. I wanted to tell him everything these creatures had done to me, what they were going to do to me but I knew we would both end up dead. Kupi pulled out another fifty dollars and handed it to the man. The barman smiled and walked away.

Kupi snarled.

“And now you've cost me another hundred bucks.”

Kupi guided me back to the table and sat alongside me. Rexha and the other guards sat there too as they ordered more beer. I couldn't quite comprehend the situation. They had taken me to the border with Albania where they'd planned to sell me to an Arab Sheik and then Kupi had disclosed that I would be cut open, my organs removed and sold to the highest bidder and on top of that I'd been so close to executing an escape plan. And now they sat drinking beer and smoking as if the events of the past few hours hadn't even taken place.

I scoured the bar again, looking to see if my ‘friend' had perhaps sat elsewhere or even wandered outside for a breath of fresh air. I waited and I waited as the men I sat with grew ever drunker. I ran a scenario through my head that my ‘friend' had somehow read the hopelessness in my face and contacted the police because he suspected something wasn't quite right. I watched the door constantly. I tried to make eye contact with the barman thinking I could somehow mouth the word
help
to him but he never looked in my direction long enough. He seemed to be oblivious to the situation, probably planning a night out with his wife courtesy of Kupi's little gift.

It was dark outside now. We'd been in the bar for some hours. Just after nine o'clock Kupi's mobile rang and as he spoke his face turned to thunder. He glared at me with genuine hatred in his eyes and then he turned to Rexha.

“We're leaving now.”

“But Boss,” he said, “we've just ordered more beers, the night is young.”

Kupi was already on his feet reaching for his bag.

“Now, we're going now.”

The other two guards were under no illusion what Kupi meant by
now
and one of them had already lifted me up as we started walking towards the door. The barman noticed the mass exodus and shouted to Kupi that he hadn't paid his bill.

“Fuck you,” Kupi said, “you've had enough money out of me today.”

The barman looked for a second or two as if he was about to protest, to remonstrate with Kupi and his gang but then thought better of it. Before I had a chance to say anything to him I was out onto the street and being bundled into the car.

The snarl was back on Kupi's face as he shouted at me.

“You have done it this time,” he said. “You are causing me more trouble by the hour.”

“I don't know what you mean Azem,” I said as I started to cry.

What had happened in there? Who was that phone call from and what had they said to make Kupi run so fast? He sat in the front talking to no one in particular cursing and complaining. I wondered had my friend indeed raised the alarm? Were the police on their way to the café and had someone somehow alerted Kupi to the fact? If so it was bad news, it meant Kupi had men on the police payroll too. Just how far had Kupi flung his net? He'd spoke of his time in the K.L.A. and yet he wore no uniform and I looked upon him as nothing more than a criminal. Now I wasn't so sure. Was his gang more powerful than I assumed?

I recognised the apartment block in Pristina straight away and my heart sank. I was heading back to that hell hole and the company of Lule and Naim.

Kupi barked out his instructions and the two guards either side of me hauled me from the car. Kupi climbed out and told Rexha, who was driving, to wait five minutes. The four of us made our way up the stairs.

Kupi kept muttering something about trouble as he limped on ahead in front and the guards were being particularly aggressive and rough as we approached the familiar sight of the heavy steel door. Kupi fiddled with the key but he eventually opened it then opened the interior wooden door and walked in.

“Bring the bitch in,” he said.

He lunged at me and grabbed me by the hair as he smacked me hard across the face.

“I wish I'd never set eyes on you, you bitch, you've been nothing but trouble from day one.”

I was shaking my head in disbelief. Something had happened I told myself; something had to have happened to make him act this way. One minute he was sitting in a bar drinking and smoking and laughing with his friends and then that one phone call had changed everything.

Naim appeared. He told Kupi he had been to the toilet and said that Lule had gone shopping.

Kupi spoke to the guards, telling them to wait downstairs and as they left without questioning him he turned to me.

“It could have been so different and yet I now realise that you have been nothing but poison.”

“But Azem, I haven't done anything, from the day you took me it's been you who has hurt me. I've never done anything to hurt you.”

“Shut the fuck up,” he said, “it's over do you hear.”

I was aware of my stomach muscles tightening, the muscles in my throat contracting so much I could hardly speak. I knew something had happened, I sensed my time with Kupi was nearing an end and I feared it was an ending so horrific I didn't want to contemplate it.

“What do you mean Azem? What is over, what is going to happen to me?”

Kupi was on me in an instant as he grabbed my throat and squeezed hard lifting me onto my toes. He pointed to Naim.

“He's going to rape you and then he's going to kill you. That's what's going to happen.”

I felt the breath draining from me as I gagged and struggled for air. My legs had turned to jelly and as Kupi released his grip I fell into a heap on the floor. Kupi kicked me full in the stomach and I squealed and burst into tears.

“Please Azem no. Please don't make him do that.”

Kupi eased himself down onto the floor.

“He's going to fuck you stupid you little virgin and then he's going to kill you. How does that sound to you eh?”

Kupi taunted me as I begged him to let me live. He told me how the deal with the Sheik had gone wrong and now I was
bad news
and he wouldn't even be able to broker a deal for my organs.

“So you're getting fucked then killed.”

He turned to Naim.

“Give me your gun.”

“Please Azem,” I begged.

Kupi seemed to study the gun and then handed it back to the guard.

You fuck her good and hard, you do anything you want to her and then put a pillow over her head to shoot her.”

Naim was nodding.

“That way it will deaden the noise. Lule will help you with the body, wait until the early hours and put it in Lule's car.”

I noticed that Naim didn't look to confident or too happy about the task he had been allocated but he was too scared to object.

“Where will I take the body Boss?”

Azem shrugged his shoulders.

“It doesn't matter, a bin or a skip. Leave it on the streets if you want and let the rats have their fill but make sure it's somewhere on the other side of town.”

I was in pieces on the floor, crying harder than I had ever cried in my life.

I heard him tell Naim that he would pay with his life if anything went wrong and then Kupi stepped over me and was gone.

A Chance to Escape

Naim had that look in his eyes, the same look the guards had in theirs when Kupi had ordered them to rape me, which seemed such a long time ago now.

“Please Naim, don't do this to me.”

Naim shrugged his shoulders.

“I have no choice Laura, I'm a soldier following orders.”

“But you...”

“You've no idea what the Boss is like? If I don't do this Kupi will kill me and he won't stop there, he'll torment and torture my family too.”

I had misjudged Naim, he was the youngest and most inexperienced of the guards and never particularly aggressive towards me and I thought he was different. But I now knew he was more than capable of carrying out Kupi's instructions to the letter as he moved forward and stroked my hair.

“It has to be done,” he said.

I felt the urge to pray. This was the end and I knew it and within a very short period of time I felt as if all hope had drained away. I wanted to die but I didn't want to die in a violent aggressive way. Naim ran the palm of his hand across my breast.

“Let me pray Naim.”

I told him to make it nice for me. I would give myself to him but I didn't want to be raped, I didn't want any violence.

“Make love to me before you kill me, make it nice for me Naim, don't abuse or mistreat me. This is my first time and I will give myself to you before you kill me.”

Naim seemed to be taken by surprise but I persevered and begged him to make it nice. I told him it was the least I deserved and as long as he killed me Kupi would never need to know. Eventually he came around to the idea and I prepared to give myself to him and then to die. Naim went through to the bedroom and came back with a cushion. He looked almost apologetic as he explained that he would kill me as soon as the sexual act had taken place.

I begged him not to leave me for the rats and he agreed.

“I must purify myself before I take you,” he said. “I will wash and you must prepare yourself.”

As Naim disappeared into the bathroom I fell to my knees and prayed. I told Allah I would accept whatever fate he had chosen for me, saying I was prepared to meet my maker. I had my head on the floor as I heard water running in the bathroom. It wouldn't be long now.

I still had my head on the floor when it came to me. Just before Naim had gone into the bathroom I had heard the sound of metal or steel being dropped lightly onto a table. What had I heard? I stood up slowly. I had heard keys. That was the sound I'd heard, a key or two on a key ring, no more. I had heard the sound a hundred times as my father had returned from work and laid his car keys on the table beside the front door. My tears somehow miraculously dried up as I dared to hope again. Surely Naim couldn't have been that stupid?

I walked over towards the door to the bathroom. There was a small table situated between the bathroom and the front door and as my eyes fell on the shiny surface I detected a glint of something shiny, something metal. It was still rather dingy as I walked towards the table and as my eyes grew accustomed to the surroundings and the light, they focussed on the two keys I had seen numerous guards and Kupi use to open the doors that had imprisoned me for so long. I froze in sheer panic for several seconds not knowing what to do. Surely it couldn't be this easy? I was trembling and I could feel my teeth chattering even though I wasn't particularly cold. I heard the water stop, the familiar rattle of the towel being pulled from the wooden towel rail.

I looked down at the table again. My God! He had left his gun there too. I stood staring at the keys and the gun and wondered what to do. I had never fired a gun in my life so took the decision to leave it where it was. I lifted the keys ever so gently from the table and congratulated myself that they hadn't made a sound. I crept towards the door wondering which key was for which door. Naim was whistling and I sensed he was nearly dry and would be out of the bathroom in seconds. There were two keys, one of them quite large and I convinced myself that it had to be for the big steel exterior door. The other key was more in keeping with a standard apartment door and I prayed to myself that I had made the right choice because I knew I wouldn't have the luxury of spare time. I could hardly hold the key as I was shaking so much and then I cursed to myself as the tears welled up in my eyes and I began to weep.
Stop it!
I told myself.
Stop crying.
I was so close. They were tears of expectancy. Was I going to make it out of there?

Naim had to be coming from the bathroom any second and would walk towards the lounge and realise I wasn't there and then he'd run towards the door and he'd catch me. He would be angry and he would rape me, probably there and then and then drag me through to the lounge to complete Kupi's orders.

I reached the door and held the smaller key to the opening of the lock and pushed. It slipped in like a warm knife in butter and I held my breath as I turned it quickly and the lock released. I pulled the door towards me and rested it gently on the wall as I fumbled for the large key. I heard footsteps behind me and looked over my shoulder as I saw Naim walking away from me towards the lounge. I had no more than thirty seconds. Shit! My hands were sweating, the key felt as if it was covered in olive oil but eventually I managed to get it into the lock. I tried to turn it anti-clockwise but it wouldn't budge. Shit shit shit! I was so close, why wouldn't it turn?

I heard Naim calling.

“Laura where are you?”

I twisted my hand clockwise and the key turned as the lock sprang open with a deafening clunk.

“Hey!”

Naim sprinted down the narrow corridor as I threw the heavy door against the wall and broke free. Naim was right behind me but I ran for my life in the direction of the stairs to the left. I almost fell down the first flight as I ran faster than I had ever run in my life. The decisions I had or rather hadn't made flashed through my head. Why hadn't I picked up his gun? Why hadn't I closed the door and locked it behind me? Silly decisions, wrong decisions, decisions that could cost me my life. I threw myself down the next flight of stairs, jumping from half way and clearing six or seven stairs at a time but even then I could hear that Naim was closing in on me. I was almost in a daze as my body seemed to operate on automatic pilot and the only thoughts in my head were that I had to survive so that I could tell my parents everything that had happened to me. If I died soon after that, then that was okay but I couldn't die right now.

He was shouting.

“You fucking bitch, you won't get away from me.”

We were two flights from the bottom and his screams and curses grew ever louder as he got nearer and nearer. He made a lunge at me over the stair rail as I turned into the last flight of stairs and I felt his fingers drag through my ponytail and he cursed as he slipped on the bend and his fingers caught nothing but fresh air. I could see the door to the front street but Naim was on me like a leech as I felt his hand on my shoulder. I managed to push the door open but I knew it was over, all Naim had to do was pull me back and he had me. He was young and strong, well built and well nourished and I was skin and bones and as weak as a kitten. As much as I fought him I knew it was over. It was at that moment Naim made another fateful, silly decision. He decided to punch me. Such was his temper, his anger at what I'd dared to do, he couldn't control himself and he spun me round and punched me as hard as he could. He caught me on the side of the cheek and he hit me so hard he lifted me off my feet and I flew bodily through the air. I cleared the pavement and landed in the middle of the street. I heard a screech of tyres behind me and although I was disorientated and on the verge of unconsciousness I was aware of a big jeep parked in the road. It was dark and I noticed the red brake lights shining underneath from the rear. I wanted to close my eyes and drift off into another place but I fought the feeling and raised myself to my hands and knees. I stood up and focussed on the white bonnet and noticed the letters UN and to the right a small Italian flag.

Naim had punched me into the path of a UN jeep and I couldn't have been happier as I waved my hands in front of it and started shouting for help. The Italian soldier jumped out and I instinctively ran around the truck towards him. As I reached him I remember his uniform being similar to that of Brian and Peter but as I looked up I noticed the look of horror on the soldiers face. He was looking over my shoulder. He was looking at Naim... what was wrong? As soon as I had reached the truck door the gunshots started. I had never heard gunshots before except on the DVDs of the movies I had watched in my childhood and I instinctively threw myself to the ground as the bullets bounced off the bonnet. The soldier reached for me shouting something in Italian that was indecipherable as he dragged me behind the truck. He was yelling into a walkie-talkie as he fired shots from a pistol out of the open window. I don't know how long the shooting lasted but probably no more than a minute. People were screaming and running in all directions. I had pulled myself into the cab and for a second I looked over the top of the steering wheel to see Naim crouching in the doorway firing off shot after shot. I was aware of another lorry that had pulled into the street and then a white jeep and suddenly there seemed to be UN soldiers everywhere. The next time I looked up Naim was gone and as I flopped back in the seat of the Italian UN jeep, I dared to believe that perhaps it might be over.

I was weeping tears of joy and yet at the same time I was wary. There were policeman around the truck now and they were asking me questions in Albanian but I was too paranoid to reply to them because they sounded just like Kupi and his gang and it was in the back of my mind that the phone call Kupi took in the bar may have been from someone connected to the police.

It was the Italian soldier who had dragged me to safety who I listened to. He spoke a little Albanian and he said it was over. He spoke softly while everyone in the immediate vicinity seemed to be shouting or screaming. It was utter chaos and the street filled up with more police cars and UN vehicles that I'd ever seen in one place, with flashing blue lights everywhere.

Someone produced a blanket from somewhere and they wrapped it around me. I refused to get out of the Italian jeep so they gave us an escort to the police station. I hadn't a clue where the police station was or in which direction we travelled. Everything was a blur, a fog of blue lights and sirens.

There were people waiting for me when we arrived at the Police Station and I remember being quite happy that they seemed to be taking the shooting so seriously. I still hadn't told anyone about my kidnap or what I had been through. No one had even asked my name. The Italian soldier helped me from the vehicle and put his arm around me as he guided me into the police station. Almost immediately a lady appeared speaking Albanian and said she was the official police interpreter.

I looked at her suspiciously.

“Get the fucking bitch away from me,” I said.

Looking back on the incident I'm quite ashamed of myself for my attitude towards the interpreter who was only doing her job but her first words to me were spoken in Albanian with a Kosovo, Pristina dialect, exactly the same way Kupi and his gang had spoken and I was paranoid that somehow they were part of the same gang. Something inside me wouldn't allow me to trust her and it was impossible for me to relax.

The adrenalin was pumping through me. Unless you've been shot at and saw your life flash before you, it's impossible to describe that feeling. I was trembling and crying at the same time and a few minutes later the tears had dried and I felt calm, but all the while I watched and listened to every door that opened, studied every single person who entered the large room and I looked at everything and everyone with suspicion, I was almost welded to the seat I sat on.

“I need to pee,” I said to a Kosovan female policewoman.

She was very nice and said the toilets were on the next floor up. I was too terrified to leave my seat.

I shook my head.

“I'm not going.”

She shrugged her shoulders.

“There are no toilets down here I'm afraid.”

So I peed myself there and then. I felt strangely safe in that huge room with so many people fussing around me. The last thing I wanted to do was go into a quiet environment where I could be kidnapped again. I raged at everyone, I cursed and swore at anyone who spoke Albanian and insisted that the Italian soldiers stayed with me. I wanted to die so much. I had escaped from them, I had beaten them and now I wanted to die. It would be such a sweet moment.

One Kosovo policeman spoke softer than everyone else. He was a little older than the rest and at one point he leaned over and touched my arm. I jumped about a metre in the air and that's when they noticed I'd peed myself. The policeman spoke to someone and they brought me a fresh blanket.

The policeman smiled and told me I could sit in my own pee for as long as I wanted. I remember looking into his eyes and laughing.

“You clean yourself up when you're good and ready and not before,” he said. “I'll stay here with you all night if you want.”

It was at that point I realised that the policeman who was now kneeling before me was almost certainly one of the good guys.

“You'll stay here all night with me?” I asked.

“Yes,” he said, “as long as you want.”

We sat in silence for some minutes before he spoke again.

“Who kidnapped you?”

I was puzzled. I had told no one I had been kidnapped.

“Who kidnapped you?” he repeated.

“Azem Kupi that's who.”

The policeman looked as if he was about to burst into tears as he let out a deep sigh and buried his face in his hands.

“How did you know I'd been kidnapped?”

He reached for my hands and I let him hold them.

“You are the only survivor. I'm so glad we've found you. We know people have been going missing for months but we can't find anyone to testify against hi,.”