The Disaster Diaries: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Apocalypse (2 page)

‘I would like that.’ My smile returned.

‘I would, too.’

‘I will meet you there in about fifteen minutes?’

‘Good. And for your information I won’t be wearing
panties today.’ She giggled that naughty giggle and hung up the phone. I could
feel something warm gathering in the base of my stomach. Clarissa was such a
naughty girl. Did this mean her and Tyler were back on a break? I suddenly
started to walk a lot faster than before.

Chapter
Five: Fuck Buddies

***

Lucy wagged her tail at the sight of Holly. Holly
was a scruffy brown haired terrier. She was slightly smaller than Lucy and
seven years younger. The two of them were practically joined at the hip.
Clarissa and I have always taken care of each other’s dogs whenever we have had
to go away. The two doggies were practically sisters. They disappeared into the
bushes chasing each other. I turned my attention towards Clarissa. She was
standing in the middle of the path. I could feel my heart flutter at the sight
of her. Clarissa was gorgeous. She was half a head shorter than me and was
curvy in places. This isn’t to be confused with fat. Clarissa was not fat. She
was curvy. She was like a proper woman with a beautiful hour glass figure. She
wasn’t like some skinny model. She was what I would consider a woman should
actually look like. Clarissa had a smile that could break hearts and eyes so
deep that you could fall into them for eternity. Her long black hair flowed
elegantly down her shoulders and seemed to be the perfect frame for her angelic
face. Clarissa was wearing a knee high skirt, black gothic boots, and a blouse
with several buttons undone, which gave me a perfect view at her delicious
cleavage.

She graced me with her smile.

‘Hi.’

‘Hey.’

She stepped into my personal space and pressed her
lips up against mine. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. I
closed my eyes and relaxed into the kiss. Clarissa was an amazing kisser. My
tongue picked the lock and slipped into her mouth. Slowly, we tilted our heads
from side to side. The kiss was deep and caring. It was the type of kiss shared
by lovers. Unconsciously, I stroked my right hand up the front of her smooth
thigh. At no point did Clarissa pull back. My hand slipped under her skirt, as
my fingertips stroked along the slit of her moist pussy. She really wasn’t
wearing any panties. She sighed deeply into my mouth.

‘Let’s go someplace more private,’ said Clarissa.

That sounded like a good idea to me.

Chapter
Six: Alone in the Woods

***

‘That feels so good,’ she said between deep breaths.

I kissed her gently on the curve of her neck, as I
pinned her up against the trunk of the oak tree. Clarissa was already grinding
her hips down against my hand. Two long stiff fingers had parted the wet lips
of her pussy and were now penetrating deep into the depths of her body. I was
not going hard or rough. I was going slow and deep. I would pull my fingers to
the point they nearly slipped out of her body and then push then all the way
back inside again. The feel of her plump breasts, beneath her blouse, pressing
up against my chest was making me so hard. Clarissa wasted no time in finding
out how hard. Her fingertips gently massaged the bulge protruding from my
pants.

‘I thought you wanted to get back together with
him,’ I said.

‘I did. At least I thought I did.’

‘What changed?’

‘Not a single thing...’ She paused momentarily, as I
nibbled on her earlobe. ‘I’m tired of being messed around by him. We aren’t
kids anymore. He needs to grow up. The date last night was to see if anything
had changed, but he still spouted the same excuses and insecurities. Fuck,
Logan.’ I was starting to gently corkscrew my fingers between her wet lips. She
always did like it when I did this. Her delicate hands cupped my face and she
raised my head to share a kiss. It was a beautiful kiss, but it soon turned
into something lustful. She started to devour me. It was a clear sign that
Clarissa was close. My jaw went into overtime in an attempt to keep up with her
kisses. My fingers started to penetrate her faster than before.

‘Will you be going out with him again?’ I asked.

‘I might do. I don’t know.’

‘Do you want to?’

‘Yes. I still love him. It’s just...’

‘It’s just nothing has changed.’ I finished for her.

‘Logan,’ she softly moaned my name. Her breathing
had become short and sharp. Those cute little squeaks she makes began to fill
the air. Clarissa bit her bottom lip and hugged me tightly. She braced herself
for what was about to happen.

‘Cum for me, Clarissa,’ I whispered into her ear.

‘Yes!’ She cried out.

I could feel her pussy grip my fingers, as her hips
jolted. It was like someone had just shot an electrical current through her
body. Clarissa practically bear hugged me, as her body was consumed with a mind
melting orgasm. Her hips began to squirm, as if with a mind of their own. I
looked up into the windows of her soul and smiled. Her mouth was hung open. She
was gasping for air. Her eyes were wide with a sense of agonising pleasure. My
fingers continued to go to work on her. Just because she had cum didn’t mean it
was time to stop. I wanted her to feel as special as she actually was. I would
increase how deep and hard I could go. I wanted to make this orgasm last for as
long as I could.

‘Logan. Logan. Logan. Logan,’ she said my name over
and over in an erotic chant.

Our faces were a hair’s length apart.

She wore a mask of torment and delight.

Her body jolted several times. Her lips moved like
she wanted to talk, but no sound came out.

Her hands stroked the side of my face.

The look in her eyes was filled with love. It was a
look I had only shared with one other.

My fingers stopped. Clarissa could breathe. Her head
was placed upon my shoulders, as her body continued to shake and quake. I
pulled myself out of her. For a long time nobody spoke. Nobody needed to speak.
What did we need to say? We had both shared that look. We knew our feeling for
each other. I loved her, she loved me, but neither of us could bring ourselves
to say it.

Chapter
Seven: Samantha

***

I watched Clarissa walk off with Holly and waved
goodbye one final time. I started off home with Lucy. Clarissa had to be at
work in an hour, which meant I wouldn’t get to see her for the rest of the day.
That made me slightly sad. I was more frustrated about not confessing my true
feeling for her. I guess I didn’t want to lose her. Everyone else I had loved
in life had either moved away or betrayed me. Clarissa was my last and best
friend. What if I confessed my love for her and she didn’t love me back? Our
relationship would be forever tainted. I also enjoyed being naughty with her.
We were practically in a relationship anyway. We laughed, joked, smiled and
spent time together. We made plans together. We went out together. We shared
dinner together. And we did more naughty deeds than most married couples do. It
was just scary to actually say those words, ‘Will you be my girlfriend?’

‘Logan?’ asked a female voice.

I glanced at the woman standing in front of me. She
had a Collie on the lead. The woman was an inch or two shorter than me. She was
slim and pretty. Her long blonde hair was tied back into a ponytail and eyes
filled with regret looked straight at me. The woman looked like an angel on the
outside, but she had the heart of a devil on the inside. It was my
ex-girlfriend, Samantha.

‘I don’t want to talk to you.’

I walked by her.

‘You have to talk to me eventually,’ she protested.
‘You have to forgive me. I love you.’

The flames of anger roared within my stomach. My jaw
clenched and my fist curled into a tight ball. It took every last bit of
self-control I had not to smack her straight in the face. Never in my life
would I ever raise my hand to anyone, especially a woman, but this bitch killed
my baby. She made a conscious choice to kill my baby. It was like every fibre
in my being was screaming at me to kill her in return. Why did she deserve to
live when she had killed my child?

I continued to walk on.

‘You don’t think I regret what I did?’

That did it.

I turned to face her. Samantha stepped back in fear.
If looks could kill I would be charged with first degree murder. I stepped
forward and poked a finger towards her face. I know deep down that what I was
doing was wrong. I am no bully, but what she did was beyond evil.

‘You killed my baby.’

‘I panicked,’ she replied.

‘You fucking liar,’ I growled the words. ‘You had an
abortion and killed my child.’

‘I wasn’t ready.’

‘THEN WHY DID YOU SAY THAT YOU WERE!’ I screamed in
her face. ‘You begged me to have a baby with you. You wanted this child. We
talked about it for months. This wasn’t some accident. This wasn’t some mistake
we made. WE WANTED THIS BABY! We tried and tried to make this baby. You have no
idea how happy I was when I found out you were pregnant. I was going to be a father.
I wouldn’t have done this if you weren’t ready for it. You pressured me into
this. You wanted this child. And then you went off behind my back and had an
abortion. I FUCKING HATE YOU.’ Samantha was in tears, but I didn’t care. I just
saw red. ‘YOU KILLED MY BABY. YOU ARE A COLD BLOODED MURDERER. I HOPE YOU BURN
IN HELL. I WISH YOU WOULD FUCKING DIE!’

I turned around and stormed off.

Chapter
Eight: The Baby

***

I sat in front of my computer with a cold cup of
coffee in my grasp. I was supposed to be working on my second adult novel, but
my brain refused to budge. I made my living writing children’s books under a
pen name. I enjoyed the success of my books. I liked that people enjoyed
reading stories that I had created, but sexy erotic stories were more my cup of
tea. I liked writing hot sex and questioning the decisions people made in life.
This is the type of book I want to write. I had made a conscious decision never
to write children’s books again. It was hard to force yourself to write positive
and inspiring books. It was like I was lying to my readers. That wasn’t who I
am. I have a dark personality. I don’t trust people. I think the world is a
cruel place. I like writing books that reflect my life and decisions I have
made, or should have made, or could have made. I believe the reader connects to
the story more when I write from my heart, but it was hard to do that today.

All I could think about was my baby.

The baby Samantha had killed.

I am not angry that she had an abortion. I don’t
know what I would have done if we had an accident and she became pregnant. It
is easy to say that I wouldn’t agree to an abortion, but I don’t know. Having a
baby is a big decision. It had taken me a long time to come to terms with the
idea that we should have a baby together. It was a conscious decision we made
as a couple. We were going to have a baby and start our own little family.
Samantha then went behind my back and had an abortion. Maybe, I am a hypocrite,
but to me that is murder. She killed my baby. We made a conscious choice to
have this baby. You cannot agree to make life and then take it away because
you’re frightened of the future. If that is how she felt I would never have
agreed to have the baby.

‘My baby...’

I dropped my head into my hands.

I began to sob.

‘I just want my baby...’

Chapter
Nine: The Publisher

***

I walked into the living room and sat down next to
Lucy. She was curled up in the corner of the couch. I let out a long sigh
before answering my cell phone. It was a call from my publisher. It was the
call I had been dreading. I was kind of hoping they would want to discuss it
online, but the editor wanted to personally call me and try to sort this situation
out. I hated confrontations. This was going to be a long and difficult phone
call. I was not looking forward to it.

‘Hello.’

‘Hello, Logan. I read your e-mail and understand
what you want to do, but I am sort of hoping we can come to some sort of agreement.
Why do you want to leave the publisher?’ She got straight to the point.

‘I explained this in the e-mail,’ I replied. ‘I just
want to step back from the children’s books and take my stories in a different
direction.’

‘I understand and respect that, but you can do that
and work for us.’