The Disneyland Book of Secrets 2014: One Local's Unauthorized, Rapturous and Indispensable Guide to the Happiest Places on Earth (105 page)

Robots would do all of our dirty work–ginormous clunkers for the heavy lifting on mining planets,
and adorable practically-part-of-the-family androids for our house servants.  Over time they’d develop feelings and consciousness and want to be considered citizens, and either go on strike or murder us all in our sleep–but we’d refer back to Asimov’s “I, Robot” cautionary tales and cross that bridge when we came to it!

Now, none of th
ose anticipated advancements came to pass.  How could so many brilliant, earnest thinkers and futurists have been so wrong?

Well … they were and they weren’t.  In some instances, financial
, technological, or political obstacles blocked the anticipated advancements.  In other cases, a predicted technology
was
developed, but for a variety of reasons (prohibitive costs, flagging interest, and unanticipated repercussions) never widely deployed.  We know monorails and jet packs work–Guests in the 1950’s and 1960’s saw them in action at
Disneyland
.  But although even car-crazy Los Angeles flirted with the futuristic idea of monorails in the 1950’s (an idea influenced, in fact, by the
Disneyland Monorail
system), it’s a future our automobile-enamored society is more comfortable imagining than embracing.

Rather than
adopt monorails or high-speed rail as widespread means of transport, Americans somehow always end up funneling money to more highways and new automobile technology.  And from a practical standpoint, just imagine trying to regulate jet-pack flight over every settled community on the planet!  At least flying cars are still a possibility; as recently as January 2010 the Defense Advanced Research Project Agency (DARPA) was challenging inventors to submit bids for flying vehicles with military applications.  If those craft ever get off the ground, it’s only a matter of time before the technology filters into the civilian market and we’re all George and Jane Jetson.  Or is it?

T
he huge left turn that we took on the way to the future can largely be attributed to the revolutionary development of computers.  Suddenly transitioning from a mechanical to a computer age, from an analog to a digital world, mass attention and resources were pretty quickly diverted in a completely new direction.  Instead of outer space exploration and utopian civic planning, the human race focused on digital space and utopian online planning.

In the real world, w
e have crumbling bridges and freeways, gridlock traffic and road rage, but the digital pathways of the internet are broad and airy.  Real-life commutes are growing longer as urban sprawl creeps ever outward, but telecommuters start their work day with the click of a mouse.

Public and government funding for space exploration languishes
, although the 2009 moon bombardment turned up enough ice to revive plans to colonize the moon.  For the most part, only private research, funded by a few visionary billionaires, keeps the hope of eventual space tourism and colonization alive.  Oil, gas, rainforests, redwood trees, and dozens of other natural resources dwindle, but new websites mushroom on a daily basis.

Not to paint too bleak a picture, or even a bleak picture at all.  The future we have isn’t the one we
imagined in the middle of the last century, but it certainly has its high points.

Social networking sites like FaceBook and Twitter knit far-flung friends and family closer together, reunite old
pals and old flames, and encourage millions to make a difference in thousands of charitable enterprises.

Tools like e-mail, file sharing and video conferencing make businesses more efficient and bring international operations and
business partners closer together.

Viral
YouTube videos and Twitter put people all over the planet instantly and viscerally in touch with important events, and often challenge and expose (though sometimes spread) institutionalized propaganda and misinformation.

Advances in medicine, vaccines, nanotechnology
, and transplants–a veritable Cambrian explosion of biotechnologies–eradicate illnesses and save and extend countless lives.  In this new millennium, youngsters today might easily live into their hundreds (if they avoid the modern western epidemics of obesity, diabetes, and heart disease), enjoying a healthy quality of life we still can’t quite fathom, those of us who were raised putting bacon and globs of butter on every morsel in sight.

Walt
and the early
Imagineers
couldn’t possibly have foreseen this global sea change, as cutting-edge as they were with, for example, their advances in people-moving technology and the brilliance of
Audio-Animatronics
.

That’s why
Tomorrowland
continues to be an enormously fun district, but is no longer the influential, ground-breaking venue it was in its glory days.  Its attractions are still a blast, but they’re not shining an oracular light into the future.  The advances of today, the digital, communication, and medical achievements, can be difficult to concretize as attractions, though
Tomorrowland
has taken stabs at it.

T
he most futuristically relevant attraction in
Tomorrowland
today is also the most hidden. 
Innoventions
, which originated in
Walt Disney World
, opened in
Disneyland
in 1998, installed in the circular, rotating structure that had previously held the
Carousel of Progress
and
America Sings
.

Innoventions
hosts a variety of mini-attractions that highlight cutting-edge advancements in communications, medicine, and technology, sponsored by an impressive array of corporations and institutions that are shaping our future, including HP, Honda, Microsoft, Siemens, and St. Joseph Medical Center.  The displays are usually interesting and educational, but don’t have the excitement and thrill of a classic, standout
Disneyland
attraction.  What
really
draws Guests to
Innoventions
?  The latest videogames, and special exhibits like 2013’s
Iron Man
armor collection, including “virtual” armor.

It
is
fascinating to wander
Innoventions
’ facsimile of a
Dream Home
of the future, a residence that is far more likely to become pervasive than the sterile plastic abodes we once envisioned (R.I.P.,
Monsanto House of the Future
).  One thing we’ve learned over the last fifty years is that people crave warmth and texture and connection.  By and large, we don’t want to live in blank spaces with computer buttons on the walls.

We want, and in many ways already have, what the
Innoventions
Dream Home
promises:  A return to the Arts-and-Crafts style, with woods and comfy fabrics, detailed architecture and décor.  We want windows and sunlight and uncluttered lines.  We want a mix of real books, with their creased spines and dog-eared pages and musty scent, as well as electronic tablets.  We want, in sum, warm, cozy, livable human spaces enriched by largely
hidden
technology.  Robots?  We don’t need no stinkin’ robots!  At least, we don’t need the kind like the Jetson’s maid Rosie, a futuristic Hazel, a humanoid metal machine that navigates the house on little wheels.  We want invisible assistance, that voice-response system in our homes and cars that changes temperature, light, and music and reads our email to us.

Presently the
Dream Home
is the centerpiece and hit of
Innoventions
, primarily because it immerses us in the homes we already know we want and in some ways already have.  The other hit,
ASIMO
, is Honda’s robot, a real treat to watch, but not in any way necessary for (or even wanted by) the average person.  Folks with disabilities and physical restrictions who can afford
ASIMO
will find it incredibly helpful.  It will vastly improve their quality of life, and so it’s excellent that Honda developed it.  Industries might find important applications for
ASIMO
too.  But for the average Jane or Joe,
ASIMO
, while entertaining to watch, in no way impacts their future.

Tomorrowland
was the ultimate horizon for
Walt
, a man always entranced by horizons of every stripe, the perpetually receding limit of what was achievable, and knowable.  And the moment the horizon was conquered, it edged just out of reach and presented a wondrous new challenge.

Imagineers
, both the talented veterans and a whole new crop of youngsters who’ve never known anything but the digital age, are still finding their way toward attractions that will tell compelling stories of what the future holds for us on the revised new frontiers of entertainment, community, communication, and health.  In this decade, particularly with the launch of the new 3D
Star Tours
, we hope to see
Tomorrowland
advances that once again influence rather than merely reflect the shape of humanity’s future.

Tomorrowland Attractions

Astro Orbitor

[
FastView:
 
Fun for kids, but a tight squeeze for grown-ups.  Many long-time Guests miss the old
Rocket Jets
.
]

This is one of the most frequently re-invented, most frequently moved, most visually striking, and yet least compelling attractions in
Tomorrowland
.  As a rotating kinetic sculpture and rocket ride, it’s the visual
wienie
that attracts Guests’ attention to the main
Tomorrowland
entrance, and (particularly when it’s shining with neon lights at night) the
Astro Orbitor
definitely draws the eye.

Wienie
was
Walt
’s term for anything that caught Guests’ attention and drew them to it, an animal training term (think frankfurter on a stick).  In today’s
Disneyland
, the
Mark Twain Riverboat
,
Sleeping Beauty Castle
, and
Astro Orbitor
draw Guests in the
Central Plaza
to
Frontierland
,
Fantasyland
, and
Tomorrowland
, respectively.  (The draw for
Adventureland
?  The foliage-draped, torch-lit mystery.)

As a
rt work and as the attention-getter at
Tomorrowland
’s gate,
Astro Orbitor
’s a winner.  Based on the pioneering science fiction sensibilities of French author Jules Verne (1828 – 1905), and the sketches of beyond-genius Leonardo da Vinci (1452 – 1519), the
Astro Orbitor
launches 12 rocket ships for a flight of under two minutes among a coterie of revolving celestial orbs of different sizes and colors.

This attraction has moved all over
Tomorrowland
and has had multiple sponsors, designs, and identities, including
Astro Jets
,
Tomorrowland Jets
, and
Rocket Jets
.  Its present incarnation as the
Astro Orbitor
arose out of the 1998 reimagining of
Tomorrowland
as a bronzed, retro-future environment similar to
Discoveryland
in
Disneyland Paris
.

Even Guests
who liked the interesting new cosmic design objected to the attraction’s placement (all but blocking the
Tomorrowland
entrance) and its color palette.  Today,
Astro Orbitor
remains a dynamic invitation at
Tomorrowland
’s gate, but, just as much of
Tomorrowland
was eventually stripped of the bronze and given a classic science-fiction makeover, in 2009
Astro Orbitor
was re-painted in complementary blues, silvers, and reds.

Each
of the present
Astro Orbitor
rockets sports the classic snub nose and raked fins that put one in mind of both Victorian science fiction and the 1920’s and 1930’s versions of the sci-fi comic “Buck Rogers”.  Buck first appeared in comic form in 1929, a few months before my father was born.  He (Buck, not Dad) soared heroically across the countries of the Earth and between planets and galaxies in ultra-cool gear like jumping belts (prefiguring jet packs) and space ships.

The
Astro Orbitor
rockets have that classic, timeless sci-fi look.  They’re mounted to hydraulic arms that lift them about two-and-a-half stories in the air.  The rockets and their launch areas are themed to zodiac symbols, which, to those unfamiliar with them, might look like ancient–or alien–glyphs.