The Fading Trilogy: Fading, Freeing, Falling: Includes 2 BONUS short stories: Hoping and Finding Forever (81 page)

Mark curls in around her from behind and tells her, “You need to talk to someone.”

I watch as her face scrunches up and she begins to cry again. Leaning my head against hers, she weeps, “I can’t.”

“You can. I know you’re scared, but you can,” Mark tries to convince her.

I look into Mark’s eyes and see the concern. I know Candace wants to ignore and forget. I don’t push it because she doesn’t need to hear it again. “You’ll get past this. There will be a time when it’ll begin to fade,” I tell her.

“But how long will that take?” she whimpers.

Mark wraps his arm over and around her waist, and wedges it in between Candace and me. “However long it takes, you have us, but Jase is right, it will eventually become easier.”

She closes her eyes and lets the tears seep out onto the pillow as I tighten my hold on her.

Even though I know she’s hurting, even though I know her pain is nearly unbearable, this is one of my most favorite places. Next to being in Mark’s arms, being with the two of them, like this, is a close second.

When I walk into the gym, I spot Ryan over by the free weights. I make my way back there and when he finishes his set of squats, he looks over and says, “Hey, man. I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“One of my classes was cancelled, so I wanted to come since I figured the afternoon would be dead.”

I walk over and start sliding the weights onto the barbell, securing them with clamps. Pumping out my sets of bench presses, Ryan stands above and spots me. “Got any plans this weekend?” he asks as he grabs the bar from my hands and sets it in the rack.

“No. Isn’t it Mark’s off weekend?” The band gets one Saturday off a month.

“Yeah.”

“We don’t normally do anything. Just hang out at home,” I tell him as I lie back down to start another set.

Ryan lifts the bar and places it in my hands. Pushing out my reps, he says, “I’ve got some extra tickets for a small concert at Spines if you guys are interested.”

Taking my time to finish my set, I don’t respond until he grabs the bar back out of my hands. “Who’s playing?”

“The xx.”

“No shit? How did you score something like that?” I ask as we switch places, and he lies down on the bench.

He grabs the bar, and I help lift it out of the cradle for him. Before he lowers it down to his chest, he says, “Gavin.”

The xx is Candace’s favorite band. She is constantly playing their music when she studies. The last few weeks, we have been trying to get her out of the house to go out with us, but she refuses. If I tell her about this, I am almost positive she wouldn’t turn it down.

Knowing she’s really freaked out with crowds, I ask, “How many people do you think are going?”

As I take the bar from him, he sits up and says, “Small, man. Hundred or so. You coming?”

“Yeah. You have three? A good friend of mine is a huge fan, but she doesn’t do well with a lot of people, you know?”

When he lies back down for another set, he asks, “Why’s that?”

“Paranoid, I guess,” I say, and then catch myself. I shouldn’t have said anything, knowing that she will most likely be meeting him.

He gives me a strange look and then says, “Yeah, I’ve got three,” before finishing his last set.

We continue lifting, working on arms, chest, and back for the next hour. When we finish up, I grab my bag and take out my cell to text Mark about Saturday. He’s spending the day with Candace, so I make sure to tell him to keep his mouth shut until I can talk to her.

“You ready? I’ve got the tickets in my car,” Ryan says as he grabs his bag.

“Yeah, let me get out this last text to Mark.”

When I shove the phone into my bag, we start walking out and Ryan states, “So, you guys seem to be doing better.”

“Yeah. I mean, we weren’t ever not good. I was just . . .” I trail off, not really wanting to tell him too much, but when he prompts, “Just what?” I decide to tell him.

“I used to screw around a lot, so I wasn’t too quick on letting Mark in.”

Ryan nods and says, “I get that. I never get involved.”

I know why I never got involved, so I wonder what his reason could be. I go ahead and reveal, “I don’t like people judging me, so I used to put a lot distance between us when we’d go out together.”

When we get to his black Rubicon, he tosses his bag in the back seat and shuts the door, saying, “People who would judge are fuckin’ assholes. And I can assure you that no one that works for me would.”

“Thanks, but it’s my hang-up, and I know it.”

Opening up the driver’s side door, he reaches over to the center console and pulls out the tickets. He hands them to me and says, “Well, at least you’re working it out. So, I’ll see you guys Saturday?”

“Yeah. Thanks for these, man.”

“No problem. I gotta run, but I’ll catch up with you later,” he says as he hops up into his Jeep.

“Later,” I say and then turn towards my SUV.

I take the rest of the afternoon to study and finish writing a paper for one of my classes. Candace picked Mark up earlier today, so I’m about to head over to her house to get him. I grab the tickets that Ryan gave me, hoping that it will be enough to pull her out of her funk and go out with us.

I make the short drive through Fremont and into her neighborhood. The night is cold and misty, and when I get to her place, I let myself in. The house is dark and quiet. Walking into the kitchen, I see the two of them sitting around the fire pit in the backyard.

When I open the door and walk out, they both turn to look at me. “Hey, guys,” I say while I walk over to Mark to give him a kiss and then turn to kiss Candace. “What are you guys doing out here? It’s cold.”

“I’m fattening up your rail-thin girl over there,” he says as he holds up a nearly empty bag of marshmallows. He then turns to Candace to give her a wink.

She just laughs and says, “Good luck, fatty.”

I’m relieved to see that she is in a playful mood, so I don’t waste any time when I sit opposite her and say, “So, I want you to come out with Mark and I Saturday night.”

“Jase.” She shakes her head and suddenly that grin that Mark had just put on her face is gone.

I start to explain before she completely shuts me down. “It’ll be low key, promise. Spines is closing early to have a private concert, and I was able to snag three tickets for us.”

“You want me to go to a concert?”

“Candace, seriously? It’s at a book and music store. It’s a private show, but forget about that. You won’t turn me down when I tell you who’s playing.” I know she’s gonna be excited, so I can’t help the smile that crosses my face as I reach into my pocket and pull out the tickets. I hand her the solid black ticket with two white X’s on it.

Her eyes grow wide and she all but snatches it out of my hand when she says, “Are you serious? How did you get these?”

“A friend of Mark’s.”

“Who?” Mark asks.

“Ryan. I ran into him at the gym earlier today. We got to talking about music, and he mentioned the show. When I told him my best friend is a huge fan of The xx, he gave me a few extra tickets that he wasn’t using.”

“Who’s Ryan?” Candace asks as she looks over at me.

Mark speaks up and tells her, “He owns the bar that my band has been playing at.”

She sits back, and I can tell she’s hesitant and debating on what she should do as she stares into the bright fire. I really want her to do this. I want to show her that she doesn’t always need to be scared. That she can be out, be around people, and realize that she’s fine. I reach over and take her hand and try to reassure her. “I really want you to go. You’ll be with the two of us. Nothing will happen.”

“I don’t know. It makes me nervous.”

“I know,” I whisper. “But nothing will happen. You have to start trying.”

Mark gives her an encouraging nod when she turns to look at him. She turns back to me, letting out a slow breath, and I know I got this.

Her voice trembles slightly when she says, “Okay.”

I know she hates it when people fuss over her, so I simply sit back and say, “Thank you.”

“I need more marshmallows,” she says.

I laugh when Mark tosses her the bag, and she starts stabbing them onto her skewer.

“Did you finish your paper?” Mark asks as he picks up the bottle of wine that is sitting next to his chair.

“Yeah. I’m pretty much caught up with everything at this point. I am
so
ready for Thanksgiving break.”

“I could pass on that,” Candace says as she eats her charred marshmallow.

“When was the last time you spoke with your parents?” I ask her.

She tosses her skewer down and tightens the blanket that’s wrapped around her. “About three weeks ago. Last time my mother called, I hung up on her and we haven’t spoken since.”

“What happened?” Mark asks her as he continues to drink his wine.

“Same thing that always does. She tells me how I’m not good enough, I’m not measuring up, I disrespect family commitments. Honestly, I’m used to it and normally just deal with it, but I don’t have the energy right now.”

“Are you gonna go home then?” I ask.

“Yeah. It’s not worth the backlash if I don’t. I mean, it’s Thanksgiving. I can’t
not
go home.”

We hang out for another half hour. Mark finishes off the bottle of wine, and he is definitely feeling the effects. I decide it’s time to head out before he turns obnoxious.

As we’re driving back to my place, Mark leans over the console and starts biting along my neck, and by the laughing that accompanies it, I know he’s had too much wine. I laugh at him, but quickly stop when he reaches down and starts rubbing me from outside my jeans.

My grip on the steering wheel is firm, and I try to focus on the road so I don’t get into a wreck.

“We’re almost home. I can’t concentrate with your hand on my dick.”

Mark laughs, and it only encourages him to not let up. Unbuttoning my pants, he grazes his nose up my neck, and then bites my ear. Hard.

“Christ,” I say as I jerk my head away and slightly swerve the car into the other lane.

Mark starts cracking up and begins tugging down my pants. He slips his hand beneath my boxers, and I’m already hard when he starts stroking me.

“You are so fuckin’ hot,” he nearly growls in my ear, and I could almost come from the sound alone.

I grip his wrist and force him to stop. “I’m gonna drive us off the road if you don’t quit.”

He doesn’t let go of me, and I don’t loosen my hold on his wrist either as he begins ravaging my neck. Everything about this car ride home is making me lose control, and I throb in his hand.

I pop the curb as I speed around the corner to get into the parking garage. Mark laughs, and I don’t even give a shit when I turn to park, taking up two spots. I shut the car off, slam the seat back, and let go of his wrist. I practically pull him on top of me, claiming his mouth with my tongue as he jerks me off.

After the fun we just had in my car, I say to Mark, “Hey, I need to talk to you about something,” as we step into the elevator.

“Yeah, I want to talk to you about something too,” he says, and even though I need to tell him about Preston, my curiosity piques.