The F#ck It List: The Complete Story (19 page)

There’s a bit of silence on the phone. “Someone should really kick Fireball’s ass.”

“I concur.”

“Please tell me you at least got laid for all this trouble.”

I look down at my dick and send it a mental apology. It deserves one more than the whole damn city. “You know how I do.”

Like I’m going to tell my best friend that, after all that shit, I didn’t even get the pussy I was gunning for. It hits me that if I’d just stayed with the first two girls, I could have had a threesome and avoided this entire fucking debacle.

It’s all that redhead’s fault. Every last bit of it. If I ever see her again, I’m going to make a point not to buy her any shots. Or at least not of Fireball. All their fault. Mostly.

“How pissed was Coach?”

“Well, I’m still alive. Take that as you will.” I pull out a couple ties to compare.

“Pretty impressive, actually. I thought you’d be missing a limb or two.” Me too, honestly.

“Nah. He needs my sweet batting average, dude. He wouldn’t maim me.” I’m going with pink. It’ll soften me. Remind them of all the charitable games I play for breast cancer awareness. Of all my faults, I do love women.

“Fuck off.”

“Maybe one day you can hit like the big boys and see how it feels.” He could too, if he’d ever take any of my tips.

“I’m going to kick your ass at batting practice.” No, he won’t. But the team might. This isn’t good for any of us.

I stare at the suit and sigh. “How bad is it?”

“Pretty bad. I mean, not OJ bad, but you walking out in a jumpsuit is not exactly a good thing.”

“Shit.” I’ll have to draft another apology to the guys.

“Do you want me to be there at the press conference?”

I shake my head even though he can’t see it. “Nah. I’m a big boy. I’ll go make nice with everyone and then kick your ass around the field.”

Truth be told, there is nothing more I’d want than my boy at my side, but I did the crime alone and I have to face the music alone. We hang up and I consider knocking back a couple shots of Jack for courage, but Coach really would kill me dead. Apparently, apologies only count if you’re sober.

Paparazzi are everywhere from the moment I park my car. I keep my shades on and ignore all of them. It would only take one wrong comment to destroy what’s left of my reputation now. Coach is waiting for me inside. He looks less pissed today, but so does a viper right before you step on it. Take that as you will.

“You better make this believable,” he hisses in my ear before stepping out to address all the photogs snapping away.

He talks for a minute about all the good the team does for the city, our volunteer work and donations, how we are here to serve the city. How we’re nothing without the fans. Guilt starts to poke at me. He’s right. I wouldn’t have one red cent to my name without this city. These people who’ve supported me, cheered for me, bought my merch.

Coach steps aside and all but shoves me over to the table. The lights are blinding and disorienting, so it takes me a minute to get my shit straight. I know I’m not supposed to deviate from the little sheet of paper Coach slipped me, but I also know I need to make this one come from my heart if I have any hope of redemption.

I crumple the paper, ignoring the hissed intake of Coach’s breath to the side.

“I messed up.” I start. Deep breath. “I took advantage of this city and the kindness it has always shown me. I’m proud to be a Royal, proud to be in Kansas City, and I’m sorry I let you down. I respect this game and this city more than words can express. If you’ll allow me a second chance, I’m going to do you proud. You deserve my best.”

Applause starts, slow at first, but then turns enthusiastic. I bow my head and offer a shy smile and the audience eats it up. I glance over at Coach as I walk off. He still looks upset, but proud. Like a dad watching his son own up to his mistakes. I don’t deserve everything he’s done for me, but I want to earn his respect.

It hits me as I walk out, listening to the crowd cheer me on. It won’t be easy, walking the narrow line Coach set, but it’s the right thing to do.

E
veryone’s giving
me shit during pre-game warm-ups, but I let it roll off my back. I said sorry and they accepted. We’re family, and family means it’s never too soon to bust each other’s balls. So Carlos pretended to cry and imitate my press conference, and Doug slow claps every time I walk past him, but it’s fine. Really.

What’s really stressing me out is my knee. I tweaked it earlier this week at practice, but right now it feels like someone is jabbing a hot rod under my kneecap. I don’t have time for injuries, but a fucked up knee is not good. I can’t afford to sit out any games, either.

First off, Gregerson is not as good as me. He likes to think he’s a good infielder, but that dude has no business in the dirt. He’s an outfielder for life, no matter what Coach tries to pump him full of. Giving up my spot to him isn’t good for the team. We have a championship to defend.

Second, I don’t need to be on all the cable sports outlets with a heartfelt apology and then be benched for the next few weeks, injury or no. I need to play. I need to prove myself.

So, I have a little conversation with my knee while stretching, telling it to mind its fucking business and work properly. Mind over matter, right? It’s not severe enough to report, yet, but I have to hold in a few winces when I pivot. No one needs to know.

I’m probably still just tired from my stint last night. Maybe I pulled something while running around the lake butt-ass naked. Maybe it’s even psychological, making myself hurt for all the bad things I’ve done. I don’t want to delve into that right now, I want to have a batting practice.

I grab my lucky bat and hit a few easy balls, trying to work on a stance that won’t put too much pressure on my knee. It’s so hard to change my go-to, but I can adapt. I don’t need to make this worse. I stretch with the bat behind my back and squint my eyes, surveying the field, channeling my inner badass.

I’m Kemper Fucking Fife. I can do this. I can do this.

“Ice cream?” A girlish voice asks. There’s a hint of a laugh behind her words that makes me feel transparent. Like she knows what I’m trying to do and doesn’t even care that my entire career is just one ACL injury away from over.

I shouldn’t turn around. I shouldn’t stop focusing on fixing this. I don’t even want ice cream. But taking this girl up on her offer is a good excuse to give my leg a rest.

And, maybe if I’m being totally honest, I want to see the face that goes with that knowing voice. Look, my body and soul may be owned by Coach’s hard-line ultimatum, but I’m a sucker for a pretty face. I can look if I don’t touch, right? And she sounds so sweet.

She’s even prettier, and younger, than I thought she’d be. Long blonde hair, green eyes, and a tiny, perky body that I’d love to move on top of. Her shirt says “The Sweet Spot.” It’s probably the name of the ice cream kiosk, but it sure seems to promise more when she’s wearing those cutoffs and her legs go on for miles. I have a brief flash of how they’d feel wrapped around me.

Her nametag says “Ally H” and I know that name will dance through my fantasies tonight. Because that’s all I’m allowed anymore—late night fantasies.

“Does that mean a yes?” She flashes a gorgeous smile and I have to bite my tongue and remind myself she’s off limits. Everyone is off limits. Coach has been keeping a close eye on me during warm-ups and he’s goddamn everywhere.

“Got any chocolate?” I ask, trying to keep my eyes trained on the empty seats behind her and not on those chocolate brown eyes. Or those perfectly tanned legs.

“I’ve got just about everything you could want.” Was that a wink? I just bet she
does
have everything, only I can’t taste what I really want. “Chocolate, vanilla, pistachio. I come very prepared.”

“Just chocolate.” I swallow down the lump in my throat and look for Coach. A few of the other guys have ice cream cones, so I’m totally innocent here. Actually, we’re probably all enjoying her tight t-shirt, but the treat is a nice excuse.

“Want sprinkles?” How does she manage to make sprinkles sound so dirty? “Chocolate syrup?”

“Nah. I’m more of a plain kind of guy.” My eyes stray down to the way her shirt hugs tight across her perfect, perky breasts, but I force them back up.

“Maybe you just haven’t had the right kinds of toppings.” Her eyes sparkle and she’s got one tiny dimple in her left cheek. I want to reach out and touch it, but choke up my bat instead.

The feelings I’m having, this lust mixed with tenderness, make me feel guilty. I have to remind myself that this isn’t a fling, just a gorgeous girl from The Sweet Spot, taking my mind off the fact that the motions I use to hit the bat’s sweet spot are currently making me wish I’d saved some of that Fireball.

She scoops some ice cream and douses it in sprinkles. I didn’t ask for sprinkles, but I’ll take anything she gives me at this point. “Gonna score a run for me?”

One run? That’s not enough for a girl like this.

“I’ll score you three runs tonight.” I tell her, taking a big bite out of the ice cream. I swallow it down and wink back at her. “You know what, you were right about these sprinkles.”

She bats her eyes at me and I feel myself slipping. It actually hurts to walk away from this vision in a t-shirt and cutoffs, but Coach’s voice is getting louder and I start to fear for my life. I turn back to catch one last glimpse of her, and she’s walking off field with her chest of ice cream. Watching her walk away is almost as amazing as staring at her beautiful brown eyes.

That
ass
, though. It’s going to haunt my dreams tonight.

“Fife.” I turn to see Jamie jogging over. He’s got a vanilla cone in hand. I notice he didn’t get any sprinkles. “Thought you were serious about that promise to stay on the straight and narrow.”

I take another bite of my ice cream and frown. “I am. Why?”

“Flirting with Coach’s daughter sure doesn’t qualify.”

I nearly choke on a ball of chocolate and sprinkles. “That was Coach’s daughter?”

“Ally? Yeah. With how Coach is watching you today, you’d better keep your shit together. You know he’ll kill you for less.”

“Look, I was just getting ice cream.” I hold up my cone, trying to go into damage control mode. She flirted with
me
. I did nothing wrong. Okay, I got in some nice looks, but I didn’t know she was Coach’s daughter. Of fucking course she was. I am a magnet for trouble. “That’s all.”

He frowns, but Jamie knows me. I hold up my hands.

“Scouts honor, man. I made a promise. I keep my promises.”

And I do. I promised to stay on the straight and narrow, and that’s not something I will compromise on. I was just taking an easy distraction from my knee, that’s all. My dad taught me the value of a promise by breaking every one he ever made. A man is measured by his word. I may have my moments, but I don’t break a promise. There, I never compromise.

I may not be happy about being reined in, but I did say I’d do better. And I meant it. This is my lifeblood.

I also promised I’d make three runs tonight for that vision in cut-offs. I mean, Coach’s daughter. It’s just an innocent promise. Designed to impress. So, I better get on that. Before heading to the dugout, I sneak a glimpse around the stadium and find where The Sweet Spot hangs out, just past left field. Hey, I made a promise.

In the locker room, I sneak a handful of ibuprofen for my knee and join the others for Coach’s pep talk. We’re playing the Tigers, which is no big deal. Hell, I may score more than three runs tonight. Their pitching staff is weak and defensively they’re lacking. Their fans call it a “learning year,” but they’ve apparently been “learning” for the last decade or so.

Hey, no judgement here, we had to learn for three. Decades.

I like these games. Honestly, they’ve got some cool guys on the team and it makes for fast innings. Their offense can’t touch our bullpen and our new batting coach for the season has made us an all-around threat. We don’t just rest on the laurels of five starters and three closers anymore. Easy-peasy.

Coach grabs me as we head to the dugout. “Ready for tonight, Fife?”

I nod and pretend the issue in my knee doesn’t exist. I know how to bat around it, I just need to keep my focus—no looking into the left-field stands—and I’ve taken enough pain meds to pretend it’s a non-issue. “Ready, Coach.”

“Good man.” He pats me on the back and disappears down the hallway.

He trusts me. I take a moment to let that sit on me and mentally erase the image of Ally H—of his daughter from my mind. She’s gorgeous, but this is more important. Gotta keep my priorities in check.

Baseball is in my blood, more than booze or girls. It’s the swell of the crowd, the smell of sweat and leather, the feel of the bat when you hit the sweet spot and crack one out of the park. It’s the camaraderie, the fans, the adrenaline that pumps through your veins. It’s jumping around the dugout before we hit the field, it’s the high-fives after an excellent play. It’s my everything.

And there is nothing I love more, nothing, than the thrill of a game. Home games are the best, looking out and seeing nothing but a sea of royal blue.

They’re cheering for us. They’re cheering for me. It’s like a drug, the way it hits your system.

Jamie and I do our ritual handshake before the start of the game and charge the field. Working together as shortstop and second base, we work in sync better than most of the other teams. We cover bases, stop line-drives, and knock out a double play to end the top of the inning in a quick 1-2-3. We’re on fire tonight.

“Great start to the game, boys.” Coach hollers, smile on his face. He slaps a hand on my back with a wink before disappearing back to his corner, and I’m feeling better than ever. I’m in my element.

Harrison, Jamie, and I are the top of our batting order. Our big three. Harrison is walked to first and Jamie’s at bat. I go on deck for some practice swings and test my knee. So far, so good. I look out at the crowd and spy the pink awning of The Sweet Spot in the distance. I’ve got a promise to keep.

Jamie strikes out. Shitty, but it happens. He points to me as I amble up to home. Time to shine. Everything around me disappears until it’s just me and the pitcher, Donaldson. We’ve gone up against him before, and I know he favors a breaking ball. That’s fine. I know how to work a bat. He throws the first pitch, but my gut tells me it’s outside.

Ball one. The crowd cheers.

I settle back into my stance and give the bat a swing. Everything fades to black again and I can hear my own heartbeat. I can practically see the ball slicing through the air in freeze frame. I swing. Curve ball, not a breaking ball. I miss.

Strike one.

I spit in the dirt and shake it off. I back off the plate and take another practice swing before tightening my batting gloves and taking a deep breath. I’ve got this. Next ball is outside.

2-1.

I watch Donaldson carefully on the mound. This is my ball, I can feel it. I watch it soar through the air and I crack it off the sweet spot. I take a second to watch it and grin. It’s out of the park. The crowd goes nuts and I begin my victory lap around the bases, slapping fives with the first and third base coaches. I have to resist the urge to pump my fists in the air as I run. When I make it back to home, I hold up a finger in the direction of the left field. That’s one.

We celebrate in the dugout. Jamie and I high-five and Coach is full of praise. It’s going to be a good game. Easy.

Donaldson strikes out Carlos and Everett, leaving us at 2-0 at the top of the second. That’s fine. We’re in the lead and we’ve got eight more innings to put a sizeable gap between them and us.

Except it appears the Detroit offense has been putting in some serious work. They put two balls up in the outfield and we have to sweat a little to keep them from scoring. No big deal, I like a challenge.

“What happened to a learning year?” Jamie mutters as we head back into the dugout. “Their bats are supposed to be dead.”

“Keeps it from being boring.” Carlos shrugs as the bottom of our batting order takes the field. “I hate that 1-2-3-done shit. Give me something to
do
.”

“Spoken like a true third baseman.” Jamie winks and Carlos flicks him off behind his glove. The pitching coach, Coach Duff, whacks Carlos on the back of the head.

“Watch it.” He warns.

Everyone’s gotta be on their best behavior. Cameras are everywhere, and so are the fines. The three of us laugh it off and hang off the railing to watch Donaldson give up another run, but send Octivio and George packing with two strikeouts.

It appears this isn’t going to be the easy game we thought, and it really gets the blood flowing. We all work together in sync, trying to keep the Detroit offense from scoring, but our pitcher gives us a run, soaring in the right field stands, and narrowing our lead.

I’m up at bat again, and I narrow my eyes at Donaldson. It’s game on, now. I have big plans for this bat, and all of them involve destroying the Tiger defense. But my knee flares up a bit and I strike out. Fuck.

“You’ll get ‘em next time,” Jamie thuds me on the back. “At least you aren’t 0-2. This is killing my batting average.”

“Shoulda paid more attention at practice,” I tease him. “Good thing you aren’t our DH.”

“Hey!” Octivio points over, a laugh on his face. “Don’t trash talk my spot, man. DH is serious business.”

“So start batting like it.” Jamie shoots back.

Have I mentioned I live for this? The banter, the laughs, and ass grabs. We talk shit but we love each other like brothers. It’s the most incredible feeling ever. I have never felt more at home than I do in the dugout.

A fly-out ends the inning and we hit the field. I swallow down another ibuprofen before running out. I’m going to have to be a little more careful from here on out. I just wish their defense wasn’t so on top of it today. Much as I love the competitive edge a close game gives, my knee could really use a break.

And it gets one. It’s another 1-2-3 inning with no balls lobbed my way. Two strike-outs and a fly-out to center field. Quick and easy.

“Give me more of that!” I slap Edwards on the back. “Destroy those Tigers!”