The Fixed Trilogy: Fixed on You, Found in You, Forever With You (20 page)

And underneath the concern of responding correctly was the punch of jealousy: Celia had been in Hudson’s private home. She had to have been if she had done the interior design.

I swallowed the bitter sting with my eggs and gave Sophia the only answer I could, lame as it was. “Oh, I love all of it. I could never pick one room.”

Hudson took my hand that still rested on his knee and laced it in his. “Didn’t you tell me you liked the library the best?”

Thank god. He’d cooled himself enough to throw me a line.

“Only because it has books.” Of course I’d love the library, being an avid reader.

Sophia’s smile was smug. “He barely has any books at all.”

Leave it to Hudson to have a library with no books.

He cleared his throat. “Actually, we’re working on improving that.” I exchanged a glance with him that I hoped expressed my thanks. “Alayna loves books so I’ve purchased quite a few since we’ve met. You haven’t been there in a while, Mother.”

“I haven’t been invited.”

“Since when has that stopped you?” This time Jack’s comment earned a scowl from his wife. He answered it with an innocent shrug.

Sophia turned her attention back to me. “Are you officially living together then?”

“No,” I said as Hudson said, “Yes.”

I met his eyes, one brow raised. Saying I lived with him was a pretty big lie not to discuss with me first. Talk about bringing it on.

His eyes pierced into mine. “But you practically are. Once your lease is up, next month. Or have you changed your mind?”

A bubble of uncontrolled excitement rose in my chest. For a moment, it felt real, like he was asking me to be that in his life.

It wasn’t real, though. What it was instead was an excellent move on Hudson’s part, one sure to rile up his mother. I couldn’t wreck it.

I swallowed then smiled shyly. “No, I haven’t changed my mind. I just didn’t realize we were telling your family, yet.”

“Hell, I’m telling everyone.” He practically beamed. God, he was good. “It’s the best thing to ever happen to me.”

Jack nodded, a twinkle in his eye. “I think it’s terrific.”

Sophia turned to her spouse and frowned. “Why are you here anyway, Jack? You haven’t vacationed with us in years.”

“Mira invited me.”

“Hudson was coming and it’s been so long since we’ve had the whole family together.” Mira’s intentions were the best. How had she lived in this family all her life without realizing it could never be the Brady Bunch she longed for? I’d known them all for only a minute and recognized dysfunction like a big neon sign.

Then, speaking of dysfunction, Mira asked, “What’s your family like, Laynie? Are you close?”

I took a deep breath. “Actually, no. My parents passed away in a drunk driving accident when I was sixteen. My brother looked after me, but now we’re…” I hadn’t said the word aloud to anyone yet, but it was honest and it needed to be said. “Estranged.”

“Oh, no!” Mira clasped her hand to her mouth.

Hudson stayed silent, but he raised a brow as he unlaced his hand from mine and rubbed it soothingly across my back. He knew Brian had been trying to contact me, probably realized the estrangement was a recent thing.

Jack shook his head slowly and
tsked
. “I hope that drunk was held accountable, at least.” I swear he looked at Sophia when he said the word “drunk.”

It was an opportunity to lie. I had before when people had asked, but I wanted to say it now, whether to shock or gain sympathy, I didn’t know. “You could say so. The drunk was my father. He was a full-time alcoholic, actually.”

“I’m sorry,” Jack said softly. “I didn’t realize.”

My eyes glistened. “It was years ago. I’ve learned to accept it.”

I couldn’t look at Hudson. I hadn’t told him anything about my parents, but if he had looked hard enough to find my restraining orders, he likely already knew. I couldn’t bear to see him look at me with pity.

“Less than ideal pasts,” Hudson said, loud enough for everyone to hear, but gentle all the same, his fingers continuing their sweeping pattern across my back. “It’s something Alayna and I have in common.”

I turned to him and found his gaze absent of pity. Instead it held understanding. More and more I realized that I was special to him because of this unique recognition he saw in me. Were we really that alike?

“I don’t like what you’re implying,” Sophia snarled.

“I’m not implying anything, Mother. I’m stating an unattractive fact.”

“Keep your unattractive facts to yourself for the rest of the day, will you?” The fury in her tone was unmasked. She scooted her chair out and stood from the table. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to prepare for our beach outing.”

With every card we’d played throughout the meal, Hudson had wounded her with one brief comment, the evidence plain in her expression.

I snuck a victory smile at Hudson, which he returned with equal delight shining in his eyes. This round had gone to us.

Chapter Twenty

Round two began almost two hours later on the sands of the private beach below Mabel Shores. It took over an hour to change and load up the beach chairs and Jet Skis from the storage shed into the back of the Ford Raptor the family used to drive the half mile down the hill to the beach. Millie also made a lunch for later and packed a cooler with beverages.

Sophia was mellow when we arrived at the beach, choosing to doze while the rest of us finished setting up our chairs and other items. By the time I was lounging next to Hudson under a big rainbow colored umbrella, I’d convinced myself that I could relax and enjoy the warm breeze and rhythmic sound of the waves rolling on the sand.

The idea of quiet serenity disappeared when Adam and Chandler suggested a game of beach volleyball.

“Alayna?” Hudson looked up from his Kindle. “We could be a team.”

“You play?” I’d been about ready to move my lounge chair into the sun and try to get a cancer-causing tan, but I could be talked into some friendly competition.

He scowled at me, a challenge glinting in his eyes. “Don’t act so surprised. I’m very skilled.”

I could tell from his tone that he was, and as competitive as I knew a man of his success had to be, I imagined he was quite good.

“He rarely loses,” Jack confirmed, returning from an ocean swim. He shook his long wet hair before taking a seat. “He takes after his old man.”

Hudson shook his head almost imperceptibly, not seeming to want to credit his father with any of his ability.

“Fantastic.” Sophia shifted in her seat, reminding everyone of her presence. “I’m trying to relax and you all are going to be noisy and wild and disturb the peace.”

“That’s what beaches are for,” Jack said over his shoulder, not bothering to look directly at his wife. “You could go back to the house if you don’t like it.”

Sophia’s opposition made my decision. “I’m in.” I pulled off my cover-up and began slathering sunscreen on the newly exposed areas of my body while Adam and Chandler attached the net to the permanent poles anchored in the sand.

“That’s your swimsuit?” Hudson grumbled beside me. “You’re practically naked. It’s going to distract the men playing.”

“Think of it as your secret weapon.”

“Except one of those men will be me.” He casually adjusted himself in his long navy swim shorts.

I shot him a smile, my insides melting at his obvious arousal. “Later, big boy.” And that was a promise. “Meanwhile, would you mind getting my back?”

I leaned forward and hugged my knees. Hudson took the lotion and sat in the space behind me, straddling me. I suppressed a moan as his hands applied the lotion, his fingers kneading longer and deeper into my skin than necessary.

“I love touching your skin,” he murmured near my ear, then nipped at my lobe, soothing it afterward with a smooth swipe of his tongue. It was an awfully sexual gesture, one I didn’t expect from him in the company of others. Either he’d upped his game or he was no longer finding it as easy to compartmentalize as he usually did.

I turned my head into him to see if I could read his face but stopped when I spotted his mother watching us, her eyes narrow slits of anger. So that was the reason behind his display. Satisfaction rose in my chest, but simultaneously I felt a wave of disappointment. Though I thoroughly enjoyed Sophia’s misery, our job had been to sway her to acceptance, not alienation. The task was impossible, I’d embraced that. But I knew Hudson hadn’t, and I hurt for the distress that his mother caused him.

“Net’s ready,” Adam declared, kicking a pile of sand toward us to make sure he had our attention.

Hudson stood and reached his hand out to help me up beside him. Once I was up, he didn’t let go, even as I pulled at my swimsuit bottoms with my other hand, relieving myself of the wedgie I’d gotten from sitting. All the while, I felt Sophia’s stare, knew I was on her radar. Soon, she’d fire. I sensed it.

“Dammit. I want to play,” Mira whined. “You know I’d be MVP.”

“Yes, baby, you would.” Adam bent down to rub her full belly protruding over the top of her bikini bottoms. “But you play rough, and that wouldn’t be good for little jellybean.”

“Yeah, you gotta protect my first grandchild,” Jack said proudly.

Sophia peered at her husband. “But she isn’t technically having the first grandchild, Jack.” She paused to ensure all ears were tuned to her. “Celia and Hudson’s baby claims that title.”

A whooshing sound filled my ears and I felt dizzy, as if on a tilt-o-whirl.
Celia and Hudson’s baby.
Why…what…?

My shock was magnified by Hudson’s reaction. He didn’t deny it. Instead, he tried to pull me closer. “Alayna,” he whispered.

“Sophia!” I heard Jack hiss. “How
dare
you compare that to Mira’s baby?”

Vaguely I was aware of Mira saying something, but I couldn’t make sense of anything except the cold disappointment that rattled in my bones. I had to get away, had to think, had to breathe. I pulled my hand from Hudson’s grasp and left, walking quickly down the beach, away from the Pierce family.

“Fuck you, Mother,” Hudson said behind me before I was out of earshot.

A baby. Hudson had a baby. With Celia.
I couldn’t even grapple with trying to figure out where the baby was or what happened to it, too pained by the conception of a baby in the first place. It was ridiculous. He wasn’t mine, he never was. But a baby…merely another way he belonged to Celia. Belonged
with
Celia.

I kept walking when Hudson called after me. But I didn’t run from him when he jogged to catch up.

“I’m fine,” I said, forcing a smile. “I’m playing the part of a wounded girlfriend.”

He matched my stride, but didn’t try to touch me. “Then why are you crying?”

I’d hoped we didn’t have to acknowledge the tears spilling down my cheeks. I swiped at them with my palm, still holding my smile in place. “I’m just surprised.” My voice was tight despite the cheer I tried to inject in it. “I didn’t know you had slept with her.”

“I didn’t.”

“You obviously did.”

“No, my mother thinks I got Celia pregnant. I did not.”

His words stopped me, a bubble of hope forming inside. “And why is that?”

He ran his hand over his face before he answered. “Because when Celia got pregnant I told our parents I was the father.”

I folded my arms over my chest waiting for more, but he gave nothing. “Are you going to explain?”

“No.” He mirrored my stance. “It’s not relevant.”

I spun on my heels, walking faster this time. How did he expect me to be in this fucking fake relationship when I didn’t have all the information? Maybe I was only a pawn in his mind games. It was the only thing that made sense.

“Alayna, stop.”

He followed after, reaching for me. This time I pulled away.

“Stop!” He caught up to me and grabbed me firmly at the shoulders. He turned me to him. “I said, ‘stop!’”

”Why can’t you tell me?” My tears had turned to sobs.

“Why can’t you trust me?”

I let out a single laugh, maddened by the insanity of his request. “That’s funny—you asking me to trust you when you trust me with absolutely nothing.” I mean, what did I know about him? Besides his expertise in bed and a few random tidbits that I’d learned in one long car ride, he’d shared nothing.

His voice tightened. “You know more about me than most people.”

It felt like an accusation. That I knew that thing—the one thing he didn’t want anyone to know. But he hadn’t even been the one to tell me that. And it was only one detail of the complex makeup of Hudson Pierce.

“No,” I said, sticking my chin out defiantly. “I know one thing about you that most people don’t. It’s different.”

“It’s the only thing that matters.”

“Bullshit.” If he truly believed that…how could he be so blind to think that all that mattered about him were the mistakes of his past? It broke my heart and my voice cracked as I spoke. “There’s so much more to you than that.”

I wanted to touch him, to caress his face, to make him see. I stretched my hand tentatively toward him, but he stepped back.

“Obviously you do know me,” he spit out, “if you feel comfortable making that kind of statement.” His tone was nasty, sarcastic. He didn’t believe it. He was spinning my words, my meaning.

I turned away from him, processing. I did know things about him—things I’d discovered from spending time with him. I did believe there was more to him than the guy who manipulated women for sport. I saw it in him, felt it when he kissed me, and when he lay between my legs.

And if I really believed his sincerity in those moments, then I had to say I trusted him.

Which meant he was telling the truth now—he hadn’t fathered a baby with Celia. But then why would he tell his parents that he had?

The realization punched my stomach like a ton of bricks. “It’s because you love her, isn’t it?” Voicing it made the weight even heavier. “That’s why you told your parents it was your baby.”

“No!”

His defiant protest spun me back to face him. “There’s no other logical reason.” To assume such a huge responsibility for another person—that required an emotional connection. It was proof he wasn’t a sociopath—that he could care for someone at that level—but that was hardly comfort to me in that moment.

“Stop this, Alayna.” It was a command, a low even tone that I guessed few people argued with.

But I was determined to hear him confirm the truth that would kill me. “You’re in love with her.”

He threw his arms out emphatically. “For the love of God! If I am even capable of that emotion, Celia’s not the one I’d be…” He stopped himself, his jaw snapping shut.

Celia’s not the one…
His words echoed in my ears like a song I loved to hear.

He stepped toward me. Cupping his hands at the sides of my face, he lifted my chin roughly toward him. “I’m not in love with Celia. I promised I’d be honest with you, Alayna, but it does no good if you don’t trust me.”

I was still reeling from his slip. Celia wasn’t the one he’d…what? Be in love with? Then who—with me?

But he wasn’t giving that away. For now, his almost statement was enough—it calmed my nerves and steadied my heart.

He smoothed the hair down behind my ear, and I stared into his gray eyes, noting a tenderness that I hadn’t seen earlier. “I’ve never slept with Celia.” His tone was soft but urgent. “I’m not in love with her. I didn’t get her pregnant. Trust me.” Even softer, even more urgent. “Please.”

“Okay.”

His brow creased in surprise. “Okay?”

“Okay, I trust you.”

“You do?”

I thought of how eager I’d been to have Brian’s trust, how disappointed I’d been when I realized I still didn’t. Hudson needed someone, needed me to believe in him. I should have been telling him every second. If I loved him, like I believed I did, then I’d have to do better at building him up.

I smiled at him. “I do.”

His body relaxed like a huge weight had been removed from his shoulders. “Thank you.” He kissed my forehead. “Thank you.”

I was absorbed with him in that space of time, but not so much as to not observe its oddity. We were holding each other close, exchanging assurances that portrayed us as more than casual lovers.
What are we doing?
I almost asked him; I felt the shape of the words on my tongue, but couldn’t locate the air to push them past my lips. Did he sense it too?

If he recognized it, he hid it from me, pulling my head down to his shoulder where I couldn’t look for it in his eyes. And that was fine. I enjoyed his embrace, the warmth and security it gave me, whatever it meant for us.

After the possibility of addressing the moment had passed, he said, “Look. My mother’s leaving.”

I pulled away to glance at the group we’d left behind. Sure enough, Sophia with her oversized sunhat was walking alone up the pathway toward the house. With her gone, it made the idea of rejoining the group more tolerable. “We should get back.”

“We should.” A hint of reluctance laced his tone and his eyes shifted to my lips. “We should kiss and make up first.” He’d already begun lowering his face to mine. “In case anyone’s watching.”

I didn’t have time to agree before one hand wrapped around the back of my neck and his tongue swept into my mouth. Unlike the majority of our kisses that were generally reserved for sex, this one was sweet and easy. That didn’t mean it lacked passion. Hudson sucked and licked and nibbled first at my top lip and then gave equal treatment to the bottom. Then his tongue was inside my mouth again, reaching and searching, circling mine in a lazy spiral.

He labeled it as a kiss for our distant spectators, but it was completely ours—a harmonic blending of him and me, so thoroughly fused I could no longer remember where he began, where I ended, whose taste belonged to who. And it was more—a love song without words, a promise without fear. It was a spark, a beginning of something new.

We parted hesitantly, both of us afraid to break the spell. Then, I slipped my hand in his and we returned to our roles as girlfriend and boyfriend.

Hudson changed after that, perhaps because Sophia had left, but I chose to believe it had more to do with the faith I had placed in him. He became playful and lighthearted. I witnessed it first in the volleyball match against Adam and Chandler. He skillfully dominated the game, as I was sure he dominated a boardroom. But in between plays he surprised me—giving me high fives and patting me lightly on the behind. It didn’t feel like he was putting on a show—there wasn’t any need to convince Adam and Chandler of our relationship.

I welcomed the development, embracing it perhaps too readily, the line between real and pretend blurring.

After we’d won two sets of volleyball, we took a spin on the Jet Skis—Hudson driving, me clutching to him tightly from behind. He rode confidently across the choppy water, and I thrilled at the speed and the closeness and how easy it was to just be with him.

And when we lost our balance and fell into the ocean, he clutched me to him and laughed then kissed me mercilessly before righting the Jet Ski and pulling me up behind him. “Again, precious?” he yelled over the motor.