The Fixed Trilogy: Fixed on You, Found in You, Forever With You (55 page)

I pushed him away. Though I wanted and needed his touch, I didn’t feel like I deserved it. “Are they? Isn’t she doing this because she wants your love? How is that different?”

He sighed and perched on the edge of his desk. “I don’t believe that’s why she’s doing this. She means to keep me unhappy. She knows that hurting you would destroy me. This is payback for my past. This has nothing to do with yours.”

I swiped the tears off my cheeks. Dammit, Celia had screwed with both of us so easily. Here we were, regretting our pasts, hating ourselves, undoing years of progress—
fucking bitch
was right.

I sat down again and laid my head against the chair back. “I really don’t care why she’s doing it. She’ll keep on doing it, though, because she’s winning. You’re down on yourself and I’m a mess. I’m paranoid and anxious and I’m afraid I’m reverting back to my old self.” My voice cracked as a new set of tears threatened to fall.

Hudson moved to kneel in front of me. He put his hands on my upper arms as if he meant to shake sense into me. “You aren’t. You have valid reasons to feel this way today. She’s thrown you off balance, but you’ll get ahold of yourself. You’re stronger than her.”

I wiped at my eye with my knuckle. “I’m strong with you.”

“And I’m not leaving you. I’m here. We’re in this together. Do you hear me?”

I nodded weakly.

The phone beeped. Hudson stood and reached across the desk to push the intercom. “Did you reach him?”

“No.” Trisha’s voice filled the room. “I’m sorry but Mr. Hayes has gone home for the evening. It’s after five.”

Hudson glanced at his watch. “Shit,” he muttered. He paused and I suspected he was toying with calling his lawyer’s cell. “I want him on the phone first thing tomorrow.”

“Yes, sir. Anything else before I leave?”

“No. Thank you, Patricia.” He turned the intercom off and turned back to face me. He studied me for long seconds. “She won’t win, Alayna. You kept it together in front of her, didn’t you?”

“Yes.” There was no way in hell I’d have let her see that she got to me.

He beamed with pride. “Of course you did. You’re incredible like that. Stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

I didn’t feel incredible. But his assurance bolstered me.

Hudson leaned against the desk, his expression glazed. I recognized it as his calculating look—the one he got when he was considering a big business deal. “Celia has no idea if she hit her target or not. That puts us at an advantage.”

I hated to interrupt whatever he was planning, but I couldn’t stop the thought that bubbled to the front of my mind. “What if she doesn’t stop at stalking?”

His eyes came back into focus. “Jordan is ex-military. Special ops. He can protect you. You can never go anywhere without him in the future. Promise me.”

“I rarely go anywhere without him now. Today was a fluke.”

“Just promise me.” His tone was insistent.

“I promise.” I’d known Jordan was more than a driver but hadn’t known the specifics of his background. Knowing it now wasn’t what prompted me to agree—I’d have agreed to anyone being charged to me, just to ensure I’d never be alone with Celia again.

“Good. I’ll hire another bodyguard for when Jordan’s not available. I know you didn’t want one—”

I cut him off. “I’ll take it.”

He nodded a thank you. “I’ll bring someone in to check the security cameras at the club and make sure they’re sufficient. The penthouse is already monitored. And I’ll talk to my lawyer—”

I interjected again. “He can’t do anything.”

“I’m talking to him anyway. I want to know our rights. If I have to throw money at the situation, I will.”

I chuckled. I’d never heard Hudson talk so candidly about what his wealth could buy. It was a foreign concept to me—that solutions to problems could simply be bought. It’s why I’d always feared someone else would be more suited for Hudson than me. Someone like the blonde we were currently discussing. “Celia has money, too.”

Hudson shook his head dismissively. “Money is only good in the right hands. I have no doubt that my power extends beyond her and the Werner family.”

I nodded as I brought the knuckle of my index finger to my mouth and sunk my teeth into the skin. It was either that or let out the scream that had been building the last few minutes. Though Hudson was performing with the take-charge attitude I needed, he couldn’t make the promises I wished he could make.

He read my anguish. “Alayna, I’ll take care of this.”

“I know…”

He leaned forward and pulled my hand from my mouth, lacing my fingers through his instead. “But…?”

“She’s never going to be out of our lives, is she?” Even if she were on her best behavior, she’d still be there. Her life was so intertwined with Hudson and his family. I couldn’t imagine any scenario that would remove her from being a constant presence.

Hudson rubbed his thumb gently across my skin. “She will. I’ll figure something out. Do you trust me?”

“Yes.”
With my whole heart.

“Then believe me—I’ll take care of her.” He squeezed my hand once more before he let it go. “In the meantime, stay with Jordan. No more outside runs for a while.”

Running was one of my favorite ways to calm myself. It was a necessity for my mental health. The treadmill worked, but it wasn’t the same as being outside with the sun beating down and the breeze blowing across my sweaty body. “I’ll just have Jordan run with me. I’m sure he won’t mind. I know he’s in good shape, and if he’s Special Ops, he must do some running.”

“No. Not good enough. He can’t be on his best game when he’s exerting himself physically.”

“I don’t know,” I mumbled. “You’re on your best game when you’re exerting yourself physically.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing. I just don’t want to live in a prison.” I hated giving up one of my only sources of solace because of Celia.

“Alayna, please.” His eyes were soft but determined. “Just until I get a better plan together.”

What was I thinking? Hudson was my true solace. I could give up everything else if I had him. “Okay. Fine. I’ll keep my runs to the treadmill. For now.”

“Come here.” Hudson pulled me out of my seat and into his arms. “I only want you safe. I couldn’t bear it if anything happened to you.”

I nuzzled into his neck, breathing in his scent and warm words, hoping they’d envelope me in calm.

But as soon as I’d start to relax, a new haunting thought would make its way to the forefront of my mind. I let myself ask the worst. “Do you really think Celia would do something besides scare me?” I’d suggested she might earlier, but I didn’t know if I really believed it. I’d never done more than stalk. Well, nothing harmful, anyway.

Hudson’s grip tightened around me and he buried his face in my hair. “I don’t know what she’d do. I’m not willing to find out.”

The edge in his voice coupled with his uncertainty caused another spike in my blood pressure. “Hudson, I’m scared.”

He pushed me away enough to cup my face in his hands and meld his gaze with mine. “I’m not, Alayna. Not in the least.” It was a one-eighty from his last declaration, and I suspected his words now were only for my benefit, that he was more worried than he was letting on. He couldn’t fool me.

But it felt good to hear him try.

“Trust me.” He placed a kiss on the tip of my nose. “I’ll take care of it.” He kissed the side of my mouth. “I’ll take care of you.”

He licked along the seam of my lips. When I parted my mouth, he eased inside, mesmerizing me with sensual strokes along my teeth and tongue. He kissed me slow and deep and with careful attention. With his lips he did the thing his words had failed to do—he made me feel better. Or he distracted me, at least. Either way, he gave me what I needed.

In fact, I needed more.

I pushed into him, lifting my breasts to meet his chest.

Hudson smiled against my mouth. Then he wrapped up the kiss with a final peck on my lips and pulled away.

My fingers curled into his jacket, drawing him back to me. “Don’t stop. I need you.” I pressed my body against his, my desire growing with an intense urgency.

“Alayna…” His eyes traveled to the phone on the desk behind him. He wanted to be making calls, setting things in motion. It’s what he needed to do to feel better. To feel safe. I got that.

But what I needed to feel safe was much simpler. More tangible. More within reach. “I need you, Hudson.” I moved my hand to stroke against the ridge in his pants. “Please. Please make it better.”

“Dammit, Alayna,” he growled. “You’re making it hard for me to do what I should be doing.”

I continued rubbing his crotch. “I’m trying to make it harder.” God, I’d never had to beg, but if he wanted me to, I would. “Hudson…please!”

“Fuck.” In one swift motion, he turned me so that the desk was pressed against my behind. He leaned down, and with the length of his arm, pushed aside the files that lay on top. Then he lifted me so that I sat on the edge of the mahogany surface. “Take off your panties,” he commanded, as he undid his buckle.

He didn’t have to ask me twice. Hudson had his cock out by the time I’d slid my panties off and kicked them to the floor. I watched as he stroked himself, his shaft thickening with each pump.

I ran my hands along his chest and squirmed, spreading my legs further apart. I ached to have him moving inside me—ached with an intensity that I couldn’t recall having ever felt before. I was desperate. Frantic. “Hudson.” I couldn’t stop pleading. “I need—”

He cut me off. “I know what you need. Trust me to give it to you.” With one hand still wrapped around his cock, he placed his other hand between my folds and swirled his thumb across my bud.

I moaned and tilted my hips to increase the pressure.

Hudson leaned his forehead against mine. “You’re so eager, precious. It’s going to hurt if you don’t let me get you ready first.” He slid his finger along my lips and back to dance across my clit.

“I don’t care if it hurts.” It hurt
not
having him inside me. I tugged at his tie. “Come on!”

He swore under his breath. Then he let himself go. Tangling his hand in my hair, he pulled me roughly toward his lips. “It’s hard enough to control myself around you as it is. If you give me permission, then you better believe you’re going to get fucked.”

I wanted to reply,
Thank god
, but his mouth had claimed mine with frenzied passion and speaking was no longer an option. At the same time, he drove his cock into me with a deep, forceful jab. I cried out at the pleasure/pain. I’d been wet, but he’d been right—I hadn’t been quite as ready as I could have been.

And it didn’t matter. I loved him inside me, and my snug channel let each of his short stabs rub against every wall. I cried into his mouth at each stroke. God, oh god, oh god.

Still it wasn’t enough. I wrapped my legs around his waist and bucked against him, meeting his thrusts. I closed my eyes. I was aroused and insane with needing the release I knew would come if I could just get there.

He let go of the lip he’d been sucking on. “Jesus, Alayna. Slow down.”

“No. Can’t. Want you.” I couldn’t even speak in complete sentences.

“I know. I know what to give you.” He nipped at my jaw. “But if you don’t let me take care of you, you aren’t going to get where you want to go.”

“Need,” I corrected. And I couldn’t slow down. I was crazed.

Hudson huffed my name in frustration. Wrapping a handful of hair around his fingers, he pulled my head back until I gasped. His strokes slowed to a steady pulse. “Listen to me. Are you listening?”

I nodded.

“Look at me.”

I opened my lids and met his gaze. Immediately, his gray eyes soothed me.

“You need to let me take charge, Alayna. You need to trust me. I’m going to take care of you.” He wasn’t talking about achieving an orgasm. He was speaking about much more. “Okay?”

I did trust him. Implicitly. I’d told him over and over.

But even with my declarations, I was still recovering from his recent abandonment and the pain of it lingered. Saying I trusted him was easier than actually letting myself go to fully act on that trust.

He was calling me out on that now.

And I wouldn’t let him down. “Okay,” I said.

“Good. Now let’s do this.” With one hand still pulling my hair, he moved his other to my clit where he rubbed with expert circles. “Hold on to the desk.”

I moved my hands to grip the edge of the desk. He picked up the tempo of his thrusts, his tip knocking against the same spot on the inside that his thumb massaged on the outside. The sensation in that one concentrated area built quickly. Soon, I felt the tightening in my lower belly, and my limbs began to tingle.

And Hudson was feeling it too. “God, Alayna. Your pussy feels so good. So tight. You make me so hard. I’m going to come so hard.” He quickened the pace again, and the sound of our bodies slapping and his sex words pushed me higher and higher and higher.

When I was about to orgasm, he urged my hips up and drove into me with staccato jabs that sent us over together with a shared moan. He rubbed into me for several long seconds, spilling everything he had, my own fluids mixing with his.

“Better?” he asked before I’d even caught my breath.

“Yes. Much.” But even as I was still soaring on the tails of my climax, I recognized that I’d just done the thing I’d always accused him of—used sex to solve a problem. “I, um, I’m sorry about—”

“Shh.” He put a finger to my lips and smiled. “It’s nice to be on the opposite side for once.”

“Well, thank you.” I kissed his finger then laced my hands around his neck.

“Anytime you need it, I’m happy to fuck away your woes.”

I laughed. After cleaning up and putting my panties back on, I left him to begin the tasks he felt were necessary for our protection.

Celia was nowhere in sight as I climbed into the back of the Maybach, but I shuddered, still feeling her eyes on me from the last time I’d been in the car. Hudson believed he could rid her from our lives. And I had total faith in him.

But I loved the man more than I’d loved anyone. It was totally plausible that my faith was biased.