The Good Girls (12 page)

He smirked before grabbing us each a beer from the cooler. Cameron held out a bottle of clear liquor, and I took it without even bothering to read the label to see what it was. I poured the liquid fire down my throat, struggling not to cough as it ran down my chin, disappearing into the fabric of my dress.

Brody took the bottle as I pulled it from my lips and quickly replaced it with a can of beer. I greedily drank it down, trying to wash away the flavor of the cheap vodka.

“Whoa, easy.” He pulled the bottle from my mouth and wiped my chin with the pad of his thumb before sticking it in his mouth. Tipping the vodka to his lips, he drank a swig, his eyes never leaving mine.

My head grew foggy as I took another drink of my beer and tried to focus on Cameron’s story and not on Cara. But it was impossible not to let my gaze drift to her, and my heart broke all over again each time I did. I struggled internally for the next hour. I wanted to yell at her and pull her away from him. At the same time, I wanted to walk away and never look back.

Maybe she was waiting for school to start for him to end things with her. That was only a few weeks away, but it felt like a lifetime. Maybe she wanted me to make the first move. I hadn’t exactly confessed my love for her last night, although I’m sure she knew how important what we’d done together was for me.

But my self-doubt struggled to fight through the fog of alcohol and convince me that it was because last night meant nothing to Cara.

There was only one way to find out, and as Brody held out the bottle of vodka to me, the flames made his eyes sparkle. I wrapped my fingers around the neck of the bottle, over his, and I leaned into him. His lips found mine, and he didn’t hesitate to slide his tongue over them. I let my mouth fall open, granting him access. He was gentler than Tristan, but confident. When he pulled back, his eyes searching mine, I smiled shyly, not believing I’d allowed myself to do that. But love makes you do crazy things, and a broken heart makes you not care about the consequences. I glanced up through the flames to see Cara’s face now reflecting the sadness I felt deep in my chest. I hated myself for hurting her, even if she’d done the same to me.

I couldn’t look at her again as the night wore on, and the flames began to die down in the fire and in my heart. I had no choice but to sit there and pretend to be happy, as if my entire world wasn’t crumbling around me. I had no one.

Even worse, I’d have to sleep one thin wall away from her, in the very bed we’d made love in.

“You want to get out of here?” Brody whispered in my ear, his vodka breath fanning over my cheek and making my stomach turn. The flames blurred now, and I could see two of Cara retreating into the woods with two Tristans. I blinked, rubbing my hands over my eyes as I tried to make the world come into focus again.

“Stay,” I mumbled. “I want you to stay.”

Brody chuckled as he placed his fingers under my chin and turned me to face him. “I wasn’t going to go anywhere without you.” It took me a moment to realize he’d thought I was speaking to him.

“Where are they going?” I asked as I looked back at the trees that Tristan and Cara had disappeared through.

“They went to spend some time alone together.”

“To talk?”

He laughed as he looked to my lips. “I doubt they will be doing much talking.”

My stomach rolled as my world began to spin. “Take me home with you.”

The last thing I remembered was telling Brody to take me home. As I opened my eyes and pried his heavy arm off my body, tears sprang to my eyes. I slid out from under him, my hand covering my mouth as I shook my head, begging the tears not to fall. Brody’s eyes cracked open, and he rolled to his back, stretching his arms over his head.

“It’s like six in the morning, El. Come back to bed.”

“Oh my God. I have to get home before my dad…David gets up. He’s going to kill me.”

“All right. I’m up. Fuck,” he mumbled as he rubbed the palm of his hand against his eye.

As he stood my eyes scanned his nearly naked body. He was wearing a pair of black boxer briefs and the intricate tribal tattoo that ran down his muscular arm.

“I don’t remember anything,” I squealed as he turned around to face me. His brow furrowed before he seemed to understand what I was thinking. He grabbed his jeans and stepped into them.

“Jesus Christ, El. I like you, but I’m not a fucking rapist.” He waved his hand toward me, and I looked down, sighing when I realized I was fully clothed. Pulling a T-shirt over his head, he rolled his neck, releasing some of the tension in his muscles.

“I’m sorry,” I rubbed my hand over my forehead, my head was pounding with each beat of my panicked heart. “I didn’t mean to accuse you of anything.”

He shook his head, dismissing my apology. “It’s fine. You woke up in a strange bed after drinking too much. I’d be worried if you didn’t care how you’d gotten here.”

“You’re a good guy, Bro.”

“I know. It’s one of my many flaws,” he said with a smile as he grabbed his keys and wallet from the nightstand beside his bed before stepping into his sneakers.

I followed him out of the house and to his car just as the sun was beginning to rise and the air was already warm.

My father and Dawn had off today because everyone in town was out celebrating Independence Day. I was praying that meant they’d be sleeping in, and I’d be able to slip into my room unnoticed.

We rode in silence for a few minutes as I watched the clouds turn pink and purple.

“So, how much of last night
do
you remember?” he asked, and I looked down at my hands as I wrung them.

“I remember that I’ll never drink vodka again,” I joked, and he laughed as he turned down another street. “And I remember kissing you.” I glanced over at him as he looked at me, smiling.

“I was hoping you wouldn’t forget that.”

There was so much I wished I had forgotten.

“Thanks for hanging out with me and letting me stay over.”

“Anytime.” His smile widened, and I couldn’t help but giggle. “Of course you can stay over whenever you want, but that’s not what I meant.” He cleared his throat and looked away as if he was embarrassed. He wasn’t anything like the womanizing jerk Tristan had always painted him to be. Fuck Tristan.

I reached over and wrapped my fingers around his hand that rested on his thigh, giving it a small squeeze. “Thank you.”

He looked down at our hands before weaving his fingers in mine. It was comforting, but I couldn’t help but feel like I was cheating on Cara somehow. Blurred visions of her retreating into the woods with Tristan assaulted my memory, and I had to squeeze my eyes closed to try to force them from my memory. I pulled my hand free from Brody’s and ran my fingers roughly through my hair.

“What’s wrong?”

I shook my head before slowly opening my eyes. “Brody, I did something…I don’t even know how to say it.” I laughed nervously as I looked out the passenger window. I couldn’t look at his face as I confessed what I’d done. My eyes welled up with tears as I thought of everything Cara and I had done together.

“You can talk to me, El. What happened?”

I turned to see the concern on his face as he pulled the car off to the side of the road and put it in park so he could give me his undivided attention.

“I…ugh…I lied to you about something.”

I wrung my hands as I lost all of my courage. I couldn’t look into his caramel eyes and tell him I’d kissed him because I was upset over Cara. I couldn’t tell anyone our secret when I didn’t know where we stood anymore. So I confessed a smaller lie.

“I’m not starting college this year. I’m going to be a senior. I won’t be eighteen for a while.” I braced for him to scream and tell me I was a jerk.

He blew out a deep breath and shook his head, running his hand over the back of his head. “That’s…that’s kind of crazy, El. We’ve had you to all of these parties. We drank with you. I mean. I kissed you. Fuck. I kissed you and had you sleep in my bed.” His voice was calm, and he seemed to be racking his brain to see which of our transgressions was worse. I was a horrible person.

“I’m so sorry, Bro.” I pulled on the door handle and it popped open.

“Wait. Where are you going? We’re still a half mile from your place.”

“I figured you’d want me to go.”

“Why? I mean, it sucks you lied. I really wish I had known your age before I…” he shook his head and laughed. “Just close the door.”

I pulled the door closed as he put the car in drive and continued down the road.

“Do you hate me?”

“No. I don’t hate you, El. I very strongly…
don’t
hate you.”

I giggled, shaking my head as he pulled up to the end of my driveway. “I very much don’t hate you either. Thanks for the ride.”

I smiled over at him one last time before getting out and wandering down the driveway. I was in no hurry to get inside and find out if I would be grounded for the rest of my life.

I slipped in the front door with my sandals in my hands and tiptoed across the living room and up the stairs. I sighed with relief as I snuck into my room and closed the door behind me. When I turned around, I yelped as I saw Cara sitting on the foot of my bed.

“What are you doing in here?” I dropped my shoes on the floor beside me, afraid to step closer to her.

“Making sure you made it home safely, but I see Brody took good care of you.” She stood as she walked toward me, shaking her head with a look of disappointment on her face. I held my breath as she reached me, but she only stepped around me and went out of the door, closing it quietly behind her.

My heart crumbled all over again as I fell back against my door. How had I suddenly become the bad guy? My sadness quickly turned to anger, and I left my room, yanking open her door as she turned to look at me, shocked.

“What are you doing?” she asked angrily.

“Fuck you, Cara.”

“We did that already, El.” She placed her hands on her hips as her eyes narrowed.

“Add it to my long list of regrets.”

“Is Brody on that list now, too?”

“You have no right to say
anything
about Brody. After you slept with me, you took Tris to meet your fucking mom, who I still know nothing about, then you drug him off to fuck him in the woods.”

Cara stepped toward me, her voice low. “I took Tristan to meet my mom because he’s my boyfriend. That’s what girlfriends and boyfriends do. And you have no idea what happened in those woods.”

“That’s what they do, huh? So Tristan introduced you to his mom now, too, or is he still too ashamed of you?”

Cara stuck her finger in my face, and I could see she was struggling to keep herself quiet enough not to wake David. “You have no right to judge me.”

“You’re right. To judge you, I’d have to actually know you, and no one knows who the real Cara is, do they? You’re a real good fucking liar.” I turned away from her and gripped the doorknob before looking over my shoulder at her one last time. “For the record, I don’t regret
anything
with Brody. I only regret loving
you.
” With that, I left her, never looking back as tears ran down my cheeks.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Cara

M
y heart broke on a Tuesday. She loved me. She loved
me
, and it killed me inside. I picked up my phone as I sank down on the edge of my bed, and called the one person I knew could make all of this go away.

“Mom, I’m ready to come home. I don’t need time to pack.”

“I thought you wanted to stay at David’s for your birthday.”

“No. I want to spend it with you and Dad.”

I could hear her exhale into the receiver. “I’m sure your father would like that, Cara. We’ve been praying that you’d come to your senses. This has been so hard for us. We’re both so proud of you. Your boyfriend is a good Christian man.”

“Thanks, Mom.” Bile rose in my throat. She would never see Tristan again.

“I can come by and get you after my nail appointment at lunch.”

“That’s…perfect.”

Tears rolled down my face, and I didn’t bother to wipe them away. I told my mother I loved her and began to pack a few of my belongings into an old duffel bag. There wasn’t much that I wanted to take with me. I wanted to forget these last few months and move on with my newest lie, pretending I didn’t care.

Ellie might hate me now, but she’d thank me one day. She wouldn’t be turned away by her family and forced to start again. Brody would be good to her. Taking Tristan into the woods to confess to him that I wasn’t going to be starting college was hard, but when we returned and watched Ellie and Brody leave together, I knew she would be okay without me.

I just wasn’t prepared for how much it would hurt. Losing Tatum was nothing compared to the pain of losing Ellie. I’d hoped I’d be long gone before she moved on and I wouldn’t have to witness it. At least now I knew I was doing the right thing. David wanted me gone, and I couldn’t have him disown his own daughter after she’d lost her mother so recently. She needed this second chance with him.

I smiled as I thought of her still having my e-reader. She would have hundreds of books to get lost in, and I could see what she was reading online anytime I wanted, and even add to the collection. It was small, but being able to have that one connection with her felt like it would help.

I took my bag and glanced around my room one last time before I snuck downstairs and slipped out of the front door before anyone knew I was gone.

I carried my small sack of belongings down the long driveway, feeling like I was leaving a piece of myself behind. But life is nothing more than a series of compromises and picking up the pieces after your world comes crashing down around you. I was good at adapting. I would make this work until I was able to earn enough money to move out on my own.

I didn’t exactly make the best choices when I was forced to move in with Dawn and David. I was hurt, and my heart was broken. Because of those poor choices, I was leaving their house feeling the same way, but the only person I could blame was myself.

I walked to the library and grabbed a paperback copy of
The Good Girls
, getting lost in the pages, as I waited for my mother to take me away to my new life. But I couldn’t get through a chapter without my tears falling onto the page.

I never expected Ellie to forgive me for leaving this way, but telling her that her father was forcing us apart seemed like it would be too much for her to handle.

Tristan had texted me four times since I stepped foot in the library. He called me everything from Lolita to a frigid bitch for not fucking him one last time in the woods.

“Oh,
Lolita
. I’ll have to check that book out before I leave,” I mumbled to myself as I heard a quiet chuckle behind me. I spun around to see a girl about my age with short blond hair and legs that went on for miles.

“
The Good Girls
,” she said as she nodded in approval. “Do you always talk to your books about what other books you want to read? Aren’t you worried they’ll get jealous?”

“You’re a smartass,” I quipped as I noticed her eyes looking over my body as if she was imagining covering my flesh with her tongue. “Actually, I was just reading a text from my boyfriend,” I held up my phone to show her.

“Oh. Well, I’ll let you get back to it.” With a small wave of her finger, she disappeared through the shelves, and I returned to my book, hoping that time would move more quickly.