The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex (69 page)

Read The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex Online

Authors: Cathy Winks,Anne Semans

Tags: #Health & Fitness, #Sexuality, #Psychology, #Human Sexuality, #Self-Help, #Sexual Instruction

BOOK: The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex
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There’s very little interracial sex in mainstream porn, because this has been enough to get videos deemed “obscene” according to the community standards of certain Southern states. The break-out success, however, of African American performers such as Sean Michaels and Mocha is a good sign. Here again, your best bet is to seek out independent and amateur productions. Lesbian-and feminist-made films tend to have diverse casts. We’re hopeful that the success of the growing amateur market will prod mainstream producers into seeking out performers who better reflect the demographics of our multicultural nation.

 

LESBIAN AND FEMINIST PRODUCTIONS: As we noted earlier, a lot of the criticism of commercial porn stems from viewers’ disappointment when it isn’t as cinematic, well-acted, or poetically scripted as their favorite Hollywood movies. Efforts to subvert industry conventions have come primarily from independent filmmakers like Candida Royalle (Femme Productions), or production companies that specialize in lesbian-made videos (SIR Videos; see the sidebar), or women-oriented films (Maria Beatty’s BDSM films). These alternative producers give long-overdue screen time to the female experience of sex, and also frequently go out on a limb when it comes to presenting sexual activities that the industry shies away from. For example, female ejaculation, sex between interracial couples, and erotic depictions of safer-sex activities can be found in these films. Some independent films are also more experimental in format. As the demand for alternative videos increases, expect their quality and availability to steadily improve. You’re unlikely to find these tapes at the local video store, so search for them online, try a sex boutique, or visit a gay and lesbian bookstore.

I watch new lesbian-made videos as soon as they are released. The best part is seeing real lesbians having real sex. The worst part is waiting a year for another one to come out.

 

I like those Femme videos because the women and men aren’t Barbie and Ken types. They’re more like your yuppie next-door neighbors.

At Good Vibrations, we’ve been in the somewhat privileged position of both seeing what customers want in adult films and evaluating what currently exists. True to our motto, “If you want something done right do it yourself,” we started producing a line of videos we felt addressed the lack of diversity in contemporary porn.

Our video production company, known as Sexpositive Productions, currently has four titles under its belt, with more on the way.
Slide Bi Me
features an enthusiastic and insatiable bisexual cast devouring each other at a company picnic;
Please Don’t Stop
is an educational video for lesbians of color;
Whipsmart
is a beginner’s guide to S/M, and
Voluptuous Vixens
features big beautiful women. We try to represent a variety of ages, body types, ethnicities, and sexual orientations in all our videos, in addition to giving sex toys their rightful place in our storylines.

PROFILES
in
PLEASURE:
SIR Videos
“We don’t show soft
core, fa-la-la sex;
we have down-and-
dirty dykes getting
it on in a big way.”

 

“O
ur movies have real dykes, real boobs, real orgasms, real fun. and real hard-ons (no Viagra needed),” says Jackie Strano, who, along with real-life partner Shar Rednour, has produced and starred in a successful line of lesbian-made videos. That succinctly sums up why SIR Productions’ videos are miles apart from the garden variety porn mass-produced by the adult industry.
According to Jackie, the industry’s idea of a lesbian film is a “straight girl being a day tripper for hire. When we have two girlie-girls together it is femme on femme.
And
we have butches in our movies.” But she adds magnanimously, “Hats off to the industry gals who are fierce and fully enjoy every lesbian role they do; we love ’em!” She also explains that SIR videos are different than some of the other lesbian-produced porn because “We are big on dirty talk and role-playing. We don’t show soft core, fa-la-la sex; we have down-and-dirty dykes getting it on in a big way.”
You need only check out SIR Productions’ award-winning
Hard Love and How to Fuck in High Heels,
or the futuristic
Sugar High Glitter City,
for a glimpse into the world of real lesbian sex, which includes plenty of strap-on sex, female ejaculation, smoldering oral sex, and lots of that naughty talk. What’s more, in addition to the diversity in the cast’s body size and ethnicity, these girls always seem to be having a damn good time.
And while lesbians are clearly their target market, SIR Productions’ subject matter isn’t limited to lesbian sex. In fact, their runaway best-seller is what they describe as “educational entertainment”—a beginner’s guide for both straight and gay couples to strapping on a dildo and anally penetrating a partner. A best-selling video at Good Vibrations for years,
Bend Over Boyfriend, Volume 1
(written by SIR and co-produced by Fatale) proved that anal sex was a far more popular activity than people were willing to admit.
Look for an upcoming video version of the book
The Survivor’s Guide to Sex,
as well as forthcoming films about talking dirty and sex during pregnancy.

 

Look for SIR videos at
www.sirvideos.com
. (And for the record, “SIR” stands for Sexual Indulgence and Rock-n-roll!)

GAY MALE PORN: For years gay male porn has been a booming industry, resulting in more diversity in style and content than straight movies, and earning this genre a wide range of fans, including plenty of women. Gay porn features exceptionally attractive men, and condom use is more common in these productions.

I enjoy reading erotica and watching boy-porn films. As a lesbian, I used to feel sheepish about the boy porn, but I find it has the spunk and speed I need.

 

My boyfriend and I watch male-to-male porn together. We try to emulate what they’re doing on the screen.

AMATEUR TAPES: The amateur videos you sometimes find in adult bookstores are actually what’s known as “pro-am,” or professionally amateur videos. Basically, successful filmmakers shoot real people engaging in real sex—these aren’t polished actors or actresses, and there are no scripts. Amateur videos tend to be low on production values and talent, but long on enthusiasm and sincerity. They depict a wider range of physical types than commercial porn does, and multiple-volume series such as
Masturbation Memoirs
and
Screaming Orgasms
depict in loving detail women who are authentically turned on. If you prefer your porn slick and glossy, however, you may not appreciate the real-life awkwardness that’s on display in these videos. Amateur tapes appeal instead to the viewer who might be tempted to videotape the couple next door having sex—if only it weren’t against the law!

Amateur videos and videos of real partners turn me on. There is nothing more erotic than explicit interesting sex between real lovers.

 

Never have I seen anything more beautiful, moving, and erotic as these on-screen orgasms.
Masturbation Memoirs
fulfilled a visual erotic and educational dream, touched me profoundly, and raised my consciousness.

HENTAI: If you think there’s nothing new in porn, check out a Hentai video. “Hentai” is the name for a genre of explicit, animated cartoons from Japan that combine engaging storylines, amazing visuals, and explosive sex. Lots of mythical creatures, fantastical sex, and controversial material abound in these films, which tend to focus on futuristic themes. And guess what? Since it’s animated, you don’t have to worry about bad acting or lousy direction. If you’re a fan of “anime”—the Japanese-inspired animation that has enchanted many a child—you’re bound to be intrigued by the adult version. According to Good Vibrations’ video reviewer, “Animation is the perfect medium to unleash our darkest and most twisted sexual and violent fantasies. It has produced a wonderfully sick, perverted, erotic fuckfest…with very intense visual expressions that one would hopefully never act out, but that can be unbelievably stimulating to experience vicariously.”

 

SEX-EDUCATION TAPES: An increasing number of sex-education tapes are available, from talking-head sex therapy to porno-educational endeavors like porn star Nina Hartley’s guides to various sexual techniques (see Nina’s profile in the Oral Sex chapter). The videos in the latter category set out to turn you on, and though those in the former category may not intend to do so, you may find yourself aroused by the explicit sex talk or participants’ demonstrations. Sex-education tapes are a great way to get no-nonsense, explicit sex education, often on underrepresented themes like Tantra or sex and disability. We’ve listed a few of the popular ones in the videography at the end of the book.

Watching the women in the masturbation circle in Betty Dodson’s
Selfloving
video made me feel like Iwas part of a women’s jill-off club—I came with the best of them!

Concerns

I don’t want to watch certain activities.
If you’re worried about viewing scenes you may find disturbing or shocking, review our suggestions on how to choose a video, so that you can get as much information as possible before you rent or purchase a tape. Read the box copy or, if you have the good fortune to be in a store with savvy clerks, ask for more information. If you notice that specific activities or situations make you uncomfortable, read some books that address the topic to gain some outside perspective.

View the video by yourself to freely and honestly explore your range of reactions to the erotic material. This way, you won’t be inhibited by someone else’s presence, so you’ll be able to focus all your attention on what is or isn’t turning you on. You may discover that an activity you were convinced was repulsive holds a particularly explosive charge. Sometimes you just have to feel it to believe it!

In my college anti-porn feminist days I stumbled on a cache of Penthouse magazines someone had collected for a term paper. I got so wet looking at those women I knew something was amiss with our rhetoric.

Should women be involved with porn?
Some people register surprise when they hear that a feminist sex toy store is peddling pornography. Women’s participation in porn, whether as consumers, producers, actresses, or critics, has spawned years of debate in the women’s movement. While volumes have been written on all sides of the issue—and we urge you to read them—we’ll take just a minute to illuminate our perspective.

Conditions in the porn industry, as in any industry, vary widely. Women are no more exploited in porn than they are in any other industry, and in some ways are less so—they’re better paid, for one. Furthermore, women have been taking greater control as producers and performers since the early eighties.

We are opposed to limiting or restricting access to sexually explicit materials. Although it’s true that images of women in X-rated films can be as stereotyped and demeaning as in mainstream films, we doubt that eliminating porn would result in the economic and social equality of the sexes. We believe porn reflects the social, sexual mores of our society, rather than creating these mores. Restricting the production and consumption of porn only perpetuates the lowest-common denominator of mainstream X-rated videos. The only way to combat the existence of low-quality porn is not to censor it, but instead to produce more and better kinds. As we’ve seen from our customers’ comments, they want porn, they enjoy porn, they just want better-made porn! Entrepreneurs, are you listening? It’s time to get your hands dirty!

And remember, if you’re bored viewing a sex-flick, uncomfortable, or just plain in a hurry, you can always use that popular button on the remote control—fast forward!

 

I can’t believe my lover likes that stuff!
You may be in a relationship where your partner doesn’t exactly share your penchant for porn.

She got really pissed when I watched X-rated videos other women. I tried to explain that I think of her when I watch them (and I really do), but she refused to believe it. So I was damned if I did, and my balls would explode if I didn’t.

Attempt to find out what he or she is objecting to. If you find your partner feels hurt that you need outside stimulation to get aroused, perhaps you can read the Fantasies chapter together. Find out what fantasies or images, if any, turn on your partner. Draw a parallel between the images we invent ourselves and those we pick up from books and videos. Stress that you’re
not
watching porn as a way of unfavorably comparing your partner to the actors and actresses on screen, you’re doing it to enhance the arousal you can share with your partner. Expecting one person to be the sole source of your arousal unnecessarily confines your sexuality and is simply unrealistic.

Perhaps the source of your partner’s objections is embarrassment or discomfort with specific activities or behaviors, and therefore a discussion might help you sift out what components of the porn she or he has seen (or possibly only
heard
about) as disturbing. Your partner may have never actually seen an X-rated tape, in which case you can try to find out what you’d both like, and then watch one together. Or, he or she may be more comfortable initially watching it alone. To a certain extent, porn is an acquired taste, and it can take a few viewings to let go of your internalized judgments and just enjoy your visceral responses. If, after all’s said and done, your partner simply doesn’t enjoy porn, you can politely ask that he or she not rain on your parade, and continue to indulge privately.

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