The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex (70 page)

Videos always get my girlfriend soaking wet, and she’s not a porno fan.

I can’t believe I like that stuff!
You may have your concerns that porn, while pleasurable for the individual, is somehow harmful to society. Despite the common myth that porn “degrades” women or inspires violent behavior, numerous academic and government studies have been completely unable to demonstrate any causal link between consuming sexually explicit materials and performing antisocial acts. For an excellent overview of this subject, we recommend ACLU President Nadine Strossen’s
Defending Pornography: Free Speech, Sex and the Fight for Women’s Rights.

Remember, fantasy is not real life. Images of forbidden, taboo, or degrading activities can excite us even though—or especially because—we have no desire to act them out. Ironically, it is often the acts or behavior we find most disconcerting that are the most titillating; that they are forbidden infuses them with erotic appeal.

Erotica Shopping Checklist

•
Activities:
What types turn you on? Will descriptions of taboo activities light your fire or douse it?

•
Orientation:
Are you interested in a specific orientation (straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered), or is a mix desired?

•
Voice:
Are you interested in a specific point-of-view, for instance a woman’s perspective, a gay male perspective, a partnered perspective?

•
Language:
Do you prefer explicit sexual references or colorful euphemisms?

•
Genres:
What kinds of themes entertain you in other media, for example science fiction, film noir, historical fiction, adventures in far-off lands? Erotic materials are available in a wide range of genres.

•
Comparison shopping:
Is there a similar title you can suggest to the clerk for comparison’s sake?

•
Format:
With books, would you prefer short stories over novels? With videos, perhaps you’d like a compilation rather than a full-length feature.

•
Quality:
Are literary merit and high production values priorities?

Shopping for Videos

WHERE TO GET VIDEOS: All adult bookstores and almost all video stores have a video section from which you can rent X-rated tapes. We realize this isn’t going to work for all of you—the idea of venturing into the adult section of your local store might be intimidating. We can testify that the clerk probably has as much interest in your taste in porn as he or she does in your taste in cereal, but undoubtedly there are some of you who fear your penchant for dildo-packing cowgirl tapes might make it into Liz Smith’s next column. If you’re too shy to make your selection from your neighborhood store, you could (a) travel to another town to rent tapes; (b) subscribe to the
Playboy
channel; or (c) rent or purchase tapes online or from mail-order catalogs that promise discretion and confidentiality. Once again, the convenience and anonymity of the Web make it an ideal place to shop for videos. What’s more, you can use the search function to compare prices, track down websites of favorite stars or directors, and read industry and customer reviews.

HOW TO CHOOSE VIDEOS: If you’ve never purchased an adult video or DVD, you may be over-helmed by the volumes of cheesy-sounding titles or rows of seemingly identical boxes. Here are some tips:

•
Think about what might appeal to you in a porn movie.
Are you looking for certain kinds of sexual activities, certain couplings, certain famous porn stars, particular directors whose quality you like, or an interesting plot? If you’re clear about your personal criteria, you’ll at least have something to look for.

•
Read the box.
While the information on the box is not always helpful or accurate, it may mention or allude to something you’re interested in.

•
Read reviews.
Just like mainstream movies, adult movies are reviewed, and reviews can provide some hints about the sexual content, the plot, or the actors involved. Look for these in online and print magazines like
Adult Video News
or
Screw,
though keep in mind that these are trade magazines designed to sell videos, so don’t expect critical analyses. For more thoughtful reviews, sex ’zines and online magazines can be a great resource, as can almanacs like
Only the Best
or the
X-rated Videotape Guides.

•
Look for award winners.
Publications such as
Adult Video News
sponsor annual awards ceremonies, and awards are usually noted on box copy. This can give you a leg up, but bear in mind the disagreements you’ve had with the Academy Award judges in the past.

•
Ask friends for recommendations.
Obviously not everyone is comfortable quizzing friends about their tastes in porn, but personal recommendations can be invaluable in separating the wheat from the chaff. Surfing websites is an excellent way to learn about other people’s porn preferences while maintaining your anonymity.

•
Ask the store clerk.
This isn’t always easy either, but if you can muster up the courage, you may tap into a valuable resource.

•
Look for a rating system.
Some retailers and reviewers use rating systems to help viewers narrow down titles of interest to them.

At Good Vibrations we’ve compiled a selection of adult videos we believe to be a cut above the rest. These are distinguished by at least one of a variety of criteria: good acting, superior filmmaking, unusual sexual activities, sexually explosive scenes, believable or compelling plots, woman-oriented, or educational content. We’ve listed the most popular of the titles in the videography, so if you’re interested in becoming one of the millions of erotic video fans, you’ll have a good place to start.

Enjoying Porn

Now that you have access to this plethora of sexually oriented materials, you may wonder what to do with it all. We’ll let our customers offer some suggestions.

To Enhance Masturbation

When I was younger I used to read erotica while masturbating. I always liked to have my orgasm coincide with the characters’ so I’d reread the same exciting paragraph over and over….

I prefer to lie on my stomach while I’m looking at sexually explicit material and rub my penis against a cushion. I actually buy soft cotton socks so that I can ejaculate into them if I get aroused beyond the point of no return.

I read mostly
Penthouse
letters to the editor, and Victorian pornographic novels, such as
The Pearl
and
My Secret Life.
Also lesbian fantasies. I read them while using my plug-in vibrator. I rarely finish reading more than a page or two before climaxing and enjoy teasing myself by taking away the vibrator to make the good feelings last. I have two magazines from ten years ago that I still use.

I read books to myself silently and then masturbate when I become wet. It’s fun to see how long I can keep from touching myself.

So Both Partners Can Get Turned On

If I’m with a partner, sometimes halfway through the film I’ll be so horny we’ll have to turn it off and have sex.

We often read stories silently at the same time and then focus the arousal on each other when we are done reading. I sometimes read to him aloud. We look at magazines a lot together, but while he is more turned on by
Playboy
, I am turned on by the more hardcore photographs of actual penetration. Because of this we aren’t aroused by the same pictures.

Watching porn with a partner is a good way to start a sexual encounter—then let nature take over. With myself, I read a lot of porno books/magazines and then build up the fantasy with my imagination.

My ex-lover and I would watch gay men’s porn every time. It was great. I would watch, and she would fuck me; her back was often to the TV.

To Discover New Ways to Enjoy Sex

I sometimes look at Internet porn (short, very explicit hardcore movies featuring anal penetration and/or double penetration). Doubtless that has fueled my current fantasy of double penetration.

I love many different kinds of videos, but recently I’ve been watching more videos that feature anal sex or rimming (or “booty-lingus” as I’ve heard it called).

We use books, movies, and videos, both erotic and nonerotic, as sources of ideas for characters and locations for our fantasy universe, then we make up our own plots and characters.

I use porn videos for education and anticipation of pleasure while beating off alone. I also use them nonsexually with a partner to actually see examples of things each of us likes so that we can discuss them.

To Learn about Our Own and Others’ Pleasures and Desires

I read erotica and fantasize myself with the characters I desire. I prefer lesbian erotica to hetero. I consider myself straight, but I always fantasize, read, and daydream about making love to women.

I love reading/looking at erotica by myself and then masturbating. I enjoy doing this to recharge right before my partner comes home or the baby goes to sleep. I also enjoy doing it with a partner. It keeps communication going sexually, and I sometimes learn new things my partner fantasizes about and vice-versa.

Do It Yourself!

Are you a pornographer? If you’ve taken your own X-rated videos, penned some erotic verse, or snapped some nasty photos of your sweetheart, you qualify! You can write, direct, and star in your own erotic fantasies, and your partner will probably appreciate the imaginative and personal touch. If you’re looking for a place to start, try writing down one of your fantasies. Many of our survey respondents reported getting rather excited as they were describing their earliest memories of masturbating, their favorite sexual encounter, or their experience of orgasm. If you’re ready to take your exhibitionism to the next level, you might consider investing in a webcam and broadcasting your antics online to the rest of the world.

I have a video of my current partner and me. In one scene, we fool around and then fuck. The way she kisses me and fondles my dick, more than anything else, makes me feel so tender. In the second scene, she is insatiable, insisting that I let her suck my dick (a rare mood for her), which thrills me to no end.

I’d like to act out a scene from a book or video and then record it for posterity’s sake!

I love drawing my own erotica and have been doing it all my life, for the most part attempting to sensitively and beautifully depict hetero, homo, and bisexual acts of oral sex in classic pencil-on-paper style.

A Note on Censorship

Anyone familiar with America’s history of prudery won’t be surprised to learn not only that many of the materials described in this chapter have been banned from libraries, universities, and stores around the country, but also that their producers have been targeted for store and federal harassment. The practice doesn’t stop at our borders either; customs in countries Good Vibrations ships to on a regular basis are always surprising us with the materials they choose to confiscate. We refer you to our Censorship chapter for a summary of attempts to restrict access to sexually explicit materials and for some suggestions as to what you can do to stand up for freedom of expression. In the meantime, we encourage you to actively exercise your right to read and view the abundance of materials presented in this chapter—start your own personal collection of erotica, porn, and smut!

PROFILES
in
PLEASURE:

Susie Bright

“The erotica wave
blew away the
idea that everyone
wants to only read
reassuring little
stories about people
like themselves—
what a bore.”

I
magine getting two thousand erotic stories in your mail box each year. Either you’d feel like every day was your birthday, or you’d vow never to have sex again. But for Susie Bright, editor of the annual
Best American Erotica
series, looking for that erotic diamond in the rough is all part of a day’s work. “I never get burned out reading, unless you count eye strain,” says Susie. “I can ID bad stuff quickly and move on. But good material nails you to the spot until you finish the last line.”

When you’re committed to publishing the best, you’ve got to put in the time: finding talented writers, reviewing stories, and editing the cream of the crop. Should you think reviewing volumes of erotica is akin to working in a candy shop—you lose your appetite after a while—Susie is quick to dispel this notion. “This is a really common assumption about erotica, and it needs to be questioned. Is Julia Child sick of cooking? Are all those painters at the museum sick of painting? Are art critics and all those people at the
New York Times
just sick to death of reading books and looking at movies? Of course not! But everyone is sick of a bad movie, a badly told story, from the moment it begins. Inspiring creative work is always…inspiring, and banal work is always alienating.”