The Guide to Getting It On (78 page)

The “Guide To Getting It On” Recruiting for the Military?

Before we start on the cultural and sociological aspects of sexuality in the Armed Forces, consider the following observations from two khaki-wearing philosophers:

“Believe me, its the women in the military that are sex mad, but nobody complains or calls them sluts, because we would all do the same in their situation.”
male age 25

“I mean it’s usually five females living in a building with 100 horny males. The girls pretty much pick who they want to sleep with that night.”
male age 23

If you are a woman who really likes sex and you decide on college, there will be somewhere around 60 women for every 40 males. In fact, the best advice we have for a young man who wants sex is to go to college. For women in the military, there are 85 males for every 15 women. Plus, if you wanted to have sex with a number of Uncle Sam’s finest, you don’t have to worry about getting a reputation, as long as you make efforts to be discrete about it. It’s not like it’s going to follow you 500-guys later, when you settle down in civilian life with the young minister from the First Church of Christ. What happens in the military usually stays in the military.

Before those of you who are upstanding military women decide to bomb the offices of Goofy Foot Press, everybody knows that at least half of you are true-blue and not interested in sleeping around—which ups the odds for those who do to 7.5 women for every 100 men. Consider the following words of advice from a reader who knows:

“For new females—have fun! I was so eager to be the good airman, obey all the rules, etc., that for my first few years I didn’t have a lot of fun with the unique situations we can get into. Most of the people you will know will be young men in good physical shape. Take advantage!!!”
female age 25

As for a male’s chances of having sex in the military, these sentiments from two experienced soldiers echo what we heard time and again: “I thought being in the military would be like taking a vow of celibacy. However, it turned out that there were good opportunities.”
male age 25

“Coming from a smaller town in Iowa I was a little shocked how others showed no concern that someone was married.”
male age 37

Some of the opportunities include young civilian women who have historically found the words “base adjacent” and “available men” to be synonyms. There is seldom a scarcity of men near military bases. Opportunities also abound in ports of call in Europe and Asia, although in Muslim countries, the sex is mostly on base between members of the military, with some prostitution being available if you look hard enough.

As for the willingness of some military wives to offer the comforts of a warm bosom to needy soldiers while the wives’ husbands are deployed, some do and some don’t. We have heard from some military wives that it’s not unusual for them to share tender moments with each other rather than with other men while their husbands are away. However, the wives of officers may be held to a different standard than the wives of enlisted men.

The Culture

Sex in the military is a mirror of sex any place else where Americans live and work. However, there are a few complexities that help define sex in the military as different at times.

There is the never knowing when you will be put in harm’s way—but always expecting it and always training for it. This can contribute to a sense of fatalism or cynicism within the culture of the military, or a bit of a
devil may care
attitude when it comes to what you do in your free time.

There’s also the emphasis on the body and its abilities, the impact of group living, and constantly being moved from one base to another. This can make for a climate where the sex is catch as catch can. And soldiers are frequently immersed in cultures where sex is perceived differently than it is here. In foreign lands, sexual economies often thrive around military bases. Even here in the states, different bases have different sexual cultures.

These are just some of the factors that help give sex in the military its very own and sometimes unique perspective.

Short Tour vs. Long Tour

“My sister, who is also in the service is married to a serviceman. She recently returned from a TDY (temporary duty) assignment, and while there, engaged in an extramarital affair with another married serviceman. These things happen a lot.”
female age 25

Deployments in the military are often categorized as “short tour” or “long tour.” If you are married and you are on a long tour, they will often move your family with you. If it’s a short tour (under a year), your family usually stays behind. There are plenty of exceptions, especially if you are going into combat.

The Impact of Your Status

“The base where I received the bulk of my training after basic, Sheppard, is where most of the people are young, first time away from home, and have just undergone an enormous life-changing experience. There’s a sudden freedom after basic training. Everyone’s hormones are raging. One piece of common wisdom is, ‘Don’t get married at tech school!’ I guess that’s because lots of people jump the gun. There are lots of random hookups, some racy stuff going on at the dance clubs, and lots of alcohol. Another base I spent some time at recently, in Florida, has a greater population of ‘adult’ service members, so there’s less of a panicky, gotta-have-it-now attitude.”
female age 25

Members of the armed forces usually fall into two groups: first termers, and lifers:

First termers
are often younger and unmarried. They usually have high sex drives, and they are eager to be accepted into the military’s macho culture.

Lifers
are a different story. The have made the military a career, and they have often sampled many different customs and cultures. Lifers tend to be married and have families, but it is also not unusual for them to spend a good deal time away from home.

Social & Economic Class Distinctions–The Dangers of Sex between Ranks

Since there is currently no draft, there is little equity in the military. Enlisted people are almost all from the middle class and below, while commissioned officers tend to be from the middle class and above.

In addition to the political and economic divisions within the armed forces, there are strictly-enforced prohibitions regarding fraternization among the ranks. People in the military who marry other military people are expected to be in the same or a similar rank. It is a violation of the
Uniform Code of Military Justice
to even socialize with someone not in or close to your own rank. Good luck trying to explain away that little affair between a lieutenant and a private, or a colonel and junior commissioned officer.

No matter how hot that first-class private is, a commissioned officer can get him- or herself into big trouble for fraternizing when their uniforms are on the floor.

Women in the Military

“A female private and myself were going through an abandoned building and on the middle floor she just went crazy and started sucking me off like there was no tomorrow. She even answered her radio in the middle of it then carried on.”
male age 26

“With my coworkers, sex is not an issue—I’m a woman working a job which is, even now, pretty much a ‘man’s job.’ I have a very non-sexual relationship with the boys in my shop. I think it surprises them when I wear civilian clothes and they remember that I’m a real girl. However, I do feel like the females are a bit of a commodity. I know several women who take advantage of the situation and live it up with all the partners they want, and others who are from conservative families/areas who wouldn’t dream of it.”
female age 25

Like working women in the civilian world, women in the military often change personas between home and when on duty. Some have said that their military persona is more masculine and aggressive, while their civilian persona can be more relaxed or feminine.

In the past, sexual harassment has been prominent. That’s because a woman who wanted to report someone had to report to the officer in charge. She couldn’t report to an independent person. The officer would seldom want to lose a good man, and would often ignore the charges.

In the last couple of years, that has begun to change. Reporting is through separate channels, and women’s complaints are being taken more seriously. As for the reality of reporting harassment, one female soldier says it will no longer get you demoted, but forget being promoted and forget being treated decently ever again. A female Marine in the Middle East who is quoted in Newsmax.com says, “You have two choices. You can keep your pants on and be miserable and be harassed, or you can take your pants off and you’ll still get harassed, but you’ll be a little less miserable.”

Sex in Different Bases & Ports of Call

“Seemed to be a lot of screwing around going on overseas. Hell, when you are out to sea for 65+ days and come into port and see women offering sex for next to nothing, its hard not to. The Philippines was approximately $5 bar fine for a gal all night. Treat her with respect and she’s yours the whole time you’re there. Singapore was easy to get laid. Any cab driver knew were the brothels were located. Be careful of street walkers as many of them were benny boys (transvestites). Hong Kong–ask cabbies. Perth, Australia. OHhhhh YES! Blonde hair blue eyed beauties whose parents encouraged the relationships (short or long term).”
male age 44

“In Greenland it was an isolated base with only around a hundred or so military people and some civilians. There was probably a higher amount of cheating there than most places because it was so remote. Not much to do but drink and screw.”
male age 48

“For nearly a year in Iraq, I was under constant threat of death with my work, and I was rarely alone. I didn’t have sex at all when I was there.”
male age 37

“In Washington, sex seemed more about starting a family, although I did more easily find sexually-deprived women there willing to forgo a relationship.”
male age 24

“In ports of call, the official ‘off limits’ list was usually a liberty battle plan because the bars had the best booze and the whore houses had the best broads. Drinking on liberty was expected, getting drunk was a badge of honor, getting wasted to the point that you can’t remember where you were, what you did, who you did it to, nor how much it cost. There was honor in being a drunken whore monger.”
male 58

Saigon Vs. Baghdad

While members of the military did have sex in Iraq and Afghanistan, it was often between male and female soldiers or interpreters, and not in the best of circumstances. This was different from Vietnam, where sex was often available in bars, hotels, and at “skivvy huts” which were often close to bases. “Skivvy huts” might have three or four beds next to each other in a 12-by-12 room. Local women would be having sex with soldiers who had their pants pulled down around their ankles. There was not much privacy.

Cultures:
There was a bit more neon in Saigon than Baghdad and Kabul. In the Middle East, sex outside of marriage is strictly forbidden for women and for a woman to sell herself for sex is unthinkable. It’s unusual when a soldier sees the hair of a local woman let alone make serious eye contact, and maybe only while on a “knock and talk” and if none of the men are home.

The Military:
During the war in Viet Nam, there was a draft. So the average soldier was single and somewhere between 18- and 22-years of age. In Iraq and Afghanistan, the make up of the troops was very different. Many had wives and children stateside. Many of the troops were National Guard or Reserves who tended to be older and married when compared to active duty Army or Marine Corps. Plus, today’s military has a much higher percentage of females than was the case in Vietnam. There is more room for intra-armed forces fooling around.

Considering the age of the troops and the Muslim culture’s attitude toward sex versus that of the Vietnamese, the respective conflicts were in different centuries in more ways than just figuratively.

Korea vs. Europe

Soldiers in Korea often move off base and set up housekeeping in a one room “hooch” with a “Moose.“ A Moose is a Korean woman who cooks, cleans and provides companionship, including sex. They are quite good at keeping their solider smiling. It was not unusual for a soldier to marry his moose and bring her home to the US as his wife. Most bases in the Pacific and Asia have their own form of a ”moose culture.” There might be some bases where the men in a military dorm pool their money and hire a group of mooses to take care of the men’s needs, including their sexual needs.