The Guide to Getting It On (85 page)

About what percentage of the time do you have an orgasm during intercourse?
60%

If you have orgasms during intercourse, do they happen from thrusting alone, or does it require fingers on your clitoris or grinding against his pubic bone?
Fingers are a necessity!

If you have hooked up with someone for only a night, what was the sex like?
Not awkward at all. To tell the truth I haven’t done that in a while... and my most recent partner we hooked up one night and never really talked about what it would mean... and then later seeing him where we hang out together was SORT of awkward, because I wasn’t sure if he wanted to do it again, because I definitely did!

Have you ever cheated on a partner?
Yeah. Turned out ok. The last time I cheated, I ended up being with the person I cheated with for three years! And I’m still friends with my ex.

When you are aroused or are having sex, does your vagina ever produce more fluids than you are comfortable with?
No! Stupid, but actually I find it difficult to produce sufficient juices.

If you use marijuana, does it impact your experience of sex?
Being high allows for some of the most intense orgasms!

Have any of your male partners had a penis that curves?
Yep, makes no difference.

If you masturbate, are there certain times of the day when you are more likely to masturbate?
At night, before I fall asleep.

How many times a week or month do you masturbate when you are not in a relationship vs. when you are in a relationship?
I masturbate the same regardless. About 2-4 times a week.

If you masturbate, how often do you use your fingers vs. other things? If you use something besides your fingers, what is it usually?
Oh man, I recently had to decide to stop using my electric toothbrush for this purpose! I am afraid of breaking it, so I need a proper toy. I was using the toothbrush almost exclusively!

Approximately how many serious sexual relationships have you had in your life?
Only two.

Approximately how many sexual partners have you had where there was not a strong emotional connection?
Ohhhh shit. At least 40!

Have you had sex with another woman?
Yep! I really enjoyed them all! Some were at a party, others were something my ex-partner and I contrived with a mutual friend... another was a friend who said she never had an orgasm, so I decided I would try. It worked! Another was with a girl I thought I liked but she ended up being WAY, WAY, WAY too rough and she smelled/tasted horribly!

If you’ve ever had a threesome or any kind of group sex, please describe what it was like for you.
Yeppp! Now I want to try two guys and me... I’ve had many two girls and a guy threesomes... time for something new!

What kind or brand of birth control do you use?
? Fertility Awareness, and it definitely increased my desire. It felt good to know when it was safe to have sex. Often times I will even refrain from having ANY sex at all when I’m fertile, even with a condom.

Have you ever touched a partner’s prostate?
YES! I wish more men were willing to let me stick my finger up their ass!

FEMALE 19

Sexual orientation:
Totally straight
Relationship status:
Sadly, I’m not in a relationship

When you have a male partner, was his penis circumcised or uncircumcised?
Uncircumcised. I find it much sexier that way.

If you have had intercourse, how satisfying is it usually for you?
I’ve never had “amazing” or “mind-blowing” sex, I’m still waiting for that! On average sex can be around a 7/10 for me. Foreplay and a bit of role playing work wonders though!

If you’ve had different partners, has intercourse felt better with certain ones?
I’ve had 12 different partners and each one is different. For me, some of the best sex I’ve had has been with someone I connect with on an emotional level as well as a physical level. I find that the best sex is when the guy is willing to adapt and learn how I like to be touched, kissed etc. It makes me feel like I’m the only girl on their mind at the time. Not all girls like it hard and fast, if guys take the time to ask a couple of questions, sex can be fabulous.

When you are having intercourse, do you sometimes need to make a conscious effort to stay sexually excited and in the moment?
Not at all. My mind is racing the whole time when I’m having intercourse with someone. Whether it’s “should I try a new position” or “should I put on a cheeky costume”?

On a scale of 1 to 10, how comfortable are you talking about what feels good sexually and what doesn’t with a partner?
10 for sure. I learned years ago that if I didn’t speak up and tell the guy what I liked or show him exactly how to do it, I would be left greatly disappointed. If I miss the chance to let the guy know how I like it done beforehand, I get right in there myself and show him the way if he isn’t doing it for me! So far, I’ve had nothing but admiration for taking charge and telling a man how to do it the way I like it. After all- in the end we’re all pleased!

What are the best and worst parts of giving a male partner oral sex?
The worst: When a man pushes your head down onto his dick and thrusts into your mouth, I’m not a blow-up doll buddy! The best: Men love my tongue ring! It is sexy and works wonders with most! When I can hear them groaning for more, it’s encouraging and a huge turn on!

Can you recall when you first “discovered your clitoris” as having potential for pleasure?
I remember being 9 watching the movie Rocky with my friend. I sat on the arm of the couch and found that if I rocked back and forth it created an amazing feeling. Other than that, I don’t remember a whole lot.

When you were growing up, did you ever put your fingers inside your vagina to explore what was there?
Yes! When I was 9, I started experimenting with my friend. I enjoyed her weekly visits to my house because of all the new things we tried. I remember thinking it was good fun, It’s amazing the feelings you can experience at 9 years old!

Do you ever have fantasies during sex or masturbation that are NOT overtly sexual, but are still part of feeling aroused?
Not really, all my fantasies are very sexual!

If you have hooked up with someone for only a night, what was the sex like?
I’ve had a few good experiences, I felt dirty afterwards though. My experience with one nighters is that the guy doesn’t really want to explore your body, doesn’t ask about what you like and how you like it. It seems so desperate to me. I understand that most people don’t look at one night stands that way but to me, I felt dirty.

If your partner(s) use condoms, do the condoms impact the sensation you receive from intercourse?
I believe they do in certain positions, missionary for example will never feel as good with a condom on. But when the girl is on top, we are dominating everything; I don’t feel a difference when I’m on top!

Is there a very big gap between the content of your sexual fantasies and the sex you have in real life?
Yes. For a few years there was a huge difference, now it’s not so much. Most of my fantasies involve putting on a show, stripping, being roughed up - most of which involves wearing very little, having confidence and just being sexy! I’ve had weight loss surgery and it’s amazing how I now feel about myself! My fantasies are becoming more and more real situations, I feel comfortable enough to wear skimpy things and parade around in very little outfits! Nothing is holding me back now!

Considering your last couple of partners, how satisfied were you with their ability to last during intercourse?
My previous partner drove me crazy; he couldn’t stay up for more than 10 minutes at a time! Any mention of “condom” and BOOM! I’d spend the next 20 minutes trying to get it back up! In the end it became so frustrating I avoided sex as often as I could! However, my most recent partner was absolutely amazing. He can keep going time and time again but I’m also aware not everyone has stamina like himself!

About what percentage of the time do you have an orgasm during intercourse?
I’d say around 80% of the time.

If you have orgasms during intercourse, do they happen from thrusting alone, or does it require fingers on your clitoris or grinding against his pubic bone?
I’m a “grinder”; I have the best most intense orgasms that way. I never need clitoral stimulation. However, I’m beginning to include it when I’m masturbating!

If you have hooked up with someone for only a night, what was the sex like?
Luckily that hasn’t happened to me. However, I’ve had a long-term “fuck buddy” who I saw every day at school for 2 years. We just acted like friends do, nobody ever suspected a thing! The best was when you made eye contact across the room and you gave each other a cheeky wink or smile!

Have you ever cheated on a partner?
No I haven’t. I’ve been tempted but I just couldn’t do that to someone!

When you are aroused or are having sex, does your vagina ever produce more fluids than you are comfortable with?
Not that I’ve noticed, I’ve never had any complaints either! So I think it’s pretty safe to say I’m not the one creating a pool in the middle of the bed!

Have any of your male partners had a penis that curves?
All of mine have been straight as straight can be!!

If you masturbate, are there certain times of the day when you are more likely to masturbate?
At night. All depends on whether I’ve just seen an intense sex scene in a movie, or my partner is suggesting dirty things to me!

How many times a week or month do you masturbate when you are not in a relationship vs. when you are in a relationship?
On average, twice a week when I don’t have a partner compared to 4-5 times a week when I’m in a relationship.

If you masturbate, how often do you use your fingers vs. other things? If you use something besides your fingers, what is it usually?
I don’t ever use my fingers, it doesn’t get me off. I use a vibrator at all times. I have a couple to choose from so I never get bored!!!

Approximately how many serious sexual relationships have you had in your life?
1

Approximately how many sexual partners have you had where there was not a strong emotional connection?
About 11. Pretty depressing really. I definitely need to up my standards!

Have you had sex with another woman?
Yes. I love it. However, I don’t look at girls and see them in a sexual way always. I’ve only ever allowed one person to go down on me and that was a girl, girls tend to know girls better, so I find it to be more intimate and naughty. It was a great experience and if the opportunity arose again, I would certainly take it up!

If you’ve ever had a threesome or any kind of group sex, please describe the what it was like for you.
No I haven’t, but I’m extremely keen!

What kind or brand of birth control do you use?
I have an Implanon inserted into my arm. It lasts 3 years and is amazing! I don’t have to worry about taking the pill everyday etc. In fact, I haven’t had my period for 3 years because of it which is a bonus. It hasn’t affected my sex life at all.

FEMALE 26

Sexual orientation:
Straight
Relationship status:
in a relationship 5 years

If you have had intercourse, how satisfying is it usually for you?
Ok. I have vulvodynia so it’s painful but I still like it.

If you’ve had different partners, has intercourse felt better with certain ones?
I’ve only had one partner.

When you are having intercourse, do you sometimes need to make a conscious effort to stay sexually excited and in the moment?
I have to try to block out the pain.