The Happiness Trap (26 page)

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Authors: Russ Harris

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BOOK: The Happiness Trap
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Further Reading

Frankl, Viktor, 2000,
Man’s Search for Meaning,
Beacon Press, Boston.

Hayes, Steven, & Smith, Spencer, 2005,
Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life: The New Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Guide,
New Harbinger Publications, Oakland CA.

Kabat-Zinn, Jon, 1994,
Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation In Everyday Life,
Hyperion, New York.

Resources

Russ Harris has recorded a number of CDs that can be used in conjunction with this book to help you develop mindfulness skills. You can purchase these from:
www.mindfulnessresources.com

Russ also runs a variety of workshops based on ACT, for health professionals, life coaches, the general public, and the corporate world. If you are a health professional, therapist, or life coach wishing to train in ACT, please visit:
www.actmindfully.com.au

If you are member of the general public, wanting to attend a workshop for personal growth and self-development, please visit:
www.mindfulnessresources.com

ACT has been proven to be very effective in the workplace for stress reduction and improving emotional intelligence. If your company or business is interested in coaching or training based on this approach, please visit:
www.mindfulnessatwork.net

To learn more about ACT, visit the main website:

www.contextualpsychology.org/act.
Here you’ll find a wealth of information about ACT, including details of therapists who have trained in it.

Acknowledgments

Words cannot adequately express the enormous gratitude I feel towards Steven Hayes, the originator of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). He has given a great gift to me, my family, my clients, and to the world at large. I am also indebted to the wider ACT community, for all the useful advice, experience and information that is so freely shared among them at workshops, conferences, and via the Internet. I am especially grateful to Kelly Wilson and Hank Robb, whose insights and interventions I have frequently drawn upon throughout these pages, and likewise to all those colleagues in the ACT community who have given me feedback and advice during various stages of writing: Jim Marchman, Joe Ciarrochi, Joe Parsons, Sonja Batten, Julian McNally, and Graham Taylor.

I would particularly like to acknowledge my brother, Genghis, who has (as always) been an inexhaustible source of advice, strength and encouragement, especially during those dark times when I felt like giving up on the book altogether. I’d also like to thank all the friends and family who helped out by reading the book (or parts of it) and giving me feedback: Johnny Watson, Margaret Denman, Paul Dawson, Fred Wallace, and Kath Koning. And major thanks to my mother and my wife, who both helped out by typing up major chunks of the book: no easy task when working from my spidery handwritten scrawls.

Heartfelt thanks to the three editors who worked with me at various stages: Xavier Waterkeyn, who helped enormously with the early chapters, and also came up with the book’s title; Michael Carr, who did the major ‘grunt work’, and taught me a lot in the process; and Monica Berton who helped wonderfully in trimming the fat and pulling the book into its final shape. And of course I am especially grateful to all the good folks at Exisle Publishing, who have worked so hard to bring this book together: Gareth St John Thomas, Benny St John Thomas, Anouska Jones, Penny Capp, and Sandra Noakes. And on that note, many thanks to my agent, Sammie Justesen, for bringing myself and the Exisle team together.

Last, but not least, a big thank you to columnist and author, Martha Beck. Her article on ACT in
O Magazine
acted as a major source of inspiration, because it showed me how the complex concepts of ACT could be put into plain, simple English.

Russ Harris

Melbourne, Australia

Front Cover Flap

Do you ever feel stressed, worried, miserable or unfulfilled-yet you put on a happy face and pretend everything’s fine? If so, you are not alone. Stress, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem are everywhere. In one way or another, it seems that almost everyone is struggling. But why should this be, when our standard of living is the highest it’s ever been?

New scientific research suggests that we are all caught in a hidden psychological trap: a vicious cycle, whereby the more we strive for happiness, the more we suffer in the long term. Fortunately we can all escape from the ‘Happiness Trap’ via a groundbreaking new approach based on mindfulness skills.

Mindfulness is a mental state of awareness, openness, and focus. Mindfulness skills are easy to learn and will rapidly and effectively help you to reduce stress, enhance performance, manage emotions, improve health, increase vitality, and generally change your life for the better. The concept of mindfulness has been around in the East for thousands of years-but until recently, we in the West could only develop these skills if we embarked on long, slow, arduous Eastern practices, such as meditation, yoga, Tai-Chi, Zen, or the martial arts. However, thanks to cutting-edge developments in western psychology, you can now learn these powerful life-changing techniques in a matter of minutes. So if you’d like to make life rich and full and meaningful, then this is a book you definitely have to read!

Back Cover Flap

Dr Russ Harris is a medical practitioner with a passion for life, health and healing. A leading authority on stress management, Russ regularly travels all over Australia, and internationally, training coaches, psychologists, doctors, and other health professionals in the use of ‘mindfulness’. (Mindfulness is a key theme in this book: a mental state of awareness, openness, and focus which helps you to reduce stress, transcend fear, enhance performance, and increase life satisfaction.)

Russ was born in Liverpool, England, and qualified as a doctor in 1989, at the University of Newcastle-Upon-Tyne, UK. He migrated to Australia in 1991, and set up practice as a GP. He became increasingly interested in the psychological aspects of medical illness, and when he started teaching mindfulness skills to his patients, he was astonished at the dramatic results-especially in stress-related conditions. Russ’s interest eventually led to a career change, and he now works as a speaker, trainer, therapist, and executive coach.

Russ wrote this book because there is a huge need for it: depression, anxiety, worry and stress are epidemic-and most popular approaches are ineffective. In his own life, Russ has used mindfulness to effectively transcend his own deep-seated insecurity, low self-confidence, and chronic anxiety. Over the years, he has also used this approach with many hundreds of clients, from lawyers and shopkeepers to policemen and housewives-obtaining equally outstanding results. Russ lives in Melbourne with his wife, a dog, a cat, and one child (so far).

Back Cover Material
A guide to ACT: the revolutionary mindfulness-based program for reducing stress, overcoming fear, and finding fulfilment.

Popular ideas about happiness are misleading, inaccurate, and are directly contributing to our current epidemic of stress, anxiety and depression. And unfortunately, popular psychological approaches are making it even worse!

In this controversial but
empowering
self-help book, Dr Russ Harris, M.D., reveals how millions of people are unwittingly caught in
‘The Happiness Trap’!
He then provides an
effective means to escape,
through
a revolutionary new approach
which is shaking the very foundations of western psychology.

This book is for everyone,
from CEOs to sales staff, and astronauts to housewives. Whether you’re lacking confidence, facing illness, coping with loss, working in a high-stress lob, suffering from anxiety or depression, or preparing for the performance of your life-within these pages you will learn scientifically proven techniques to:


reduce
stress and worry

rise above
fear, doubt and insecurity

handle
painful thoughts and feelings far more effectively

break
self-defeating habits

improve
performance and find fulfilment in your work

build
more satisfying relationships and, above all,

create
a rich, full and meaningful life
‘Dr Harris shines a powerful beacon forward into the night. Enjoy the journey. You are in excellent hands.’
Steven Hayes-best-selling author of
Get Out Of Your Mind And Into Your Life
INDEX
A
absent-minded behaviour,
1
,
2
,
3
abundance, sense of,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
,
5
,
6
,
7
,
8
acceptance
see expansion Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
basic theory,
1
formula,
1
,
2
living by,
1
,
2
,
3
optimistic approach,
1
six core principles,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
,
5
on thoughts,
1
vs other approaches,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
action plans,
1
,
2
,
3
action tendencies,
1
,
2
actions
choice,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
committed,
1
,
2
effective,
1
,
2
,
3
importance of,
1
adversity, use of values,
1
,
2
affirmations,
1
,
2
Africa, documentary on,
1
,
2
alcohol
managing urge,
1
,
2
not managing,
1
,
2
numbing strategy,
1
reducing anxiety,
1
anxiety
deep breathing,
1
,
2
disconnection,
1
experience of,
1
,
2
,
3
panic disorder,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
public speaking,
1
struggle switch,
1
,
2
appreciation vs enjoyment,
1
arguing strategy,
1
attention, drifting,
1
,
2
,
3
avoidance
experiential,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
uncomfortable feelings,
1
,
2
awareness
see mindfulness behaviour
absent-minded,
1
,
2
,
3
B
behaviour
influences on,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
,
5
,
6
,
7
beliefs, change over time,
1
body
awareness,
1
,
2
,
3
awareness exercise,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
observing changes,
1
values,
1
,
2
breathing
connection with,
1
deep, effect of,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
,
5
,
6
,
7
exercises,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
,
5
,
6
,
7
,
8
expansion step,
1
,
2
Buddhism,
1
,
2
C
chess analogy
self-acceptance,
1
self-esteem,
1
,
2
,
3
childhood programming,
1
,
2
Churchill, Sir Winston,
1
,
2
,
3
‘clean discomfort’,
1
,
2
cognitive defusion
see defusion
cognitive fusion
see fusion
commitment,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
,
5
,
6
,
7
,
8
,
9
,
10
,
11
committed action,
1
,
2
community life, values,
1
connection
avoided tasks,
1
deep breathing,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
,
5
,
6
,
7
exercises,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
explained,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
,
5
full awareness,
1
observing self,
1
,
2
,
3
pleasant experiences,
1
,
2
survival strength,
1
,
2
unpleasant situations,
1
,
2
,
3
useful chores,
1
values,
1
,
2
,
3
world around,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
control
applicability,
1
,
2
degree of,
1
,
2
illusion of,
1
,
2
,
3
inappropriate situations,
1
,
2
learning about,
1
,
2
,
3
over behaviour,
1
,
2
,
3
preventing living,
1
,
2
problem with,
1
control strategies
examples,
1
,
2
,
3
excessive use,
1
,
2
ineffective,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
using,
1
,
2
crises, breathing through,
1
D
Dalai Lama,
1
danger, perceiving,
1
,
2
dating game,
1
,
2
death, facing,
1
,
2
defusion
aim,
1
,
2
,
3
effect,
1
expectations,
1
,
2
explained,
1
,
2
,
3
images,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
,
5
,
6
painful memories,
1
practising,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
,
5
,
6
,
7
,
8
,
9
,
10
,
11
,
12
,
13
,
14
,
15
,
16
,
17
,
18
reasons from facts,
1
troubleshooting,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
,
5
,
6
,
7
,
8
unhelpful thoughts,
1
demons
dealing with,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
getting to know them,
1
,
2
questioning values,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
staring down,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
,
5
,
6
,
7
,
8
,
9
,
10
,
11
,
12
,
13
depression,
1
Descartes, René,
1
difficulties
vs opportunities,
1
,
2
willingness to choose,
1
‘dirty discomfort’,
1
,
2
,
3
dirty dog washing story,
1
distraction strategy,
1
,
2
Dostoyevsky, Fyodor,
1
dreams coming true,
1
E
eating, motivation for,
1
,
2
Edison, Thomas,
1
education, values,
1
emotions
amplified,
1
determining factors,
1
effect on behaviour,
1
,
2
,
3
judging,
1
,
2
making sense of,
1
nine basic,
1
,
2
physical effects,
1
,
2
,
3
questioning,
1
,
2
,
3
source,
1
three creation phases,
1
,
2
unhelpful thinking,
1
,
2
weather analogy,
1
,
2
willingness to feel,
1
,
2
,
3
see also feelings
employment, values,
1
enjoyment vs appreciation,
1
enlightenment,
1
environment
connection with,
1
values,
1
escaping strategy,
1
excuses,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
expansion breaks vicious cycle,
1
explained,
1
,
2
,
3
frequent questions,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
,
5
,
6
,
7
,
8
,
9
imagery,
1
meaning of acceptance,
1
,
2
,
3
ongoing process,
1
of pain,
1
of past,
1
practising,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
,
5
,
6
,
7
,
8
,
9
,
10
process,
1
,
2
,
3
self-talk,
1
session transcript,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
,
5
terminology,
1
three basic steps,
1
,
2
,
3
expectations, unrealistic,
1
,
2
,
3
experiential avoidance,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
F
facts vs excuses,
1
,
2
factual descriptions,
1
failure, fear of,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
,
5
fairytales,
1
,
2
‘fake listening’,
1
family, values,
1
,
2
fear
components,
1
dealing with demons,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
facing,
1
,
2
,
3
flight-or-flight response,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
,
5
,
6
,
7
feeling stuck,
1
,
2
feelings
accepting,
1
control questionnaire,
1
,
2
,
3
controlling,
1
,
2
explained,
1
illusion of control,
1
,
2
,
3
learning control,
1
,
2
,
3
negative,
1
,
2
,
3
no right or wrong,
1
observing,
1
painful,
1
physical reactions,
1
,
2
transient,
1
,
2
uncomfortable,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
see also emotions
fight-or-flight response,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
,
5
,
6
,
7
fitness level,
1
Frankl, Viktor,
1
,
2
friendships, values,
1
,
2
fulfilment,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
,
5
,
6
,
7
,
8
,
9
fun, values,
1
fusion
applications,
1
effective action,
1
,
2
,
3
explained,
1
,
2
facts with excuses,
1
,
2
images of future,
1
unhelpful thoughts,
1
,
2
fame, values,
1
,
2
myths about,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
unnatural state,
1
,
2
G
Gibson, Mel,
1
,
2
‘give up’ story,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
,
5
goal-focused life,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
,
5
goals
achieving,
1
,
2
action plans,
1
,
2
,
3
choice to achieve,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
,
5
dead person’s,
1
,
2

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