The Hidden Gifts of the Introverted Child (7 page)

• Be drawn to movement, which catches their attention

• Enjoy attention, talking, and activities

Short dopamine pathway means outies
:

• Shoot from the lip

• Are motivated to get what they want
now

• Have good short-term memory that allows quick thinking

• Can also forget what they learn quickly

• Do well on timed tests and may enjoy pressure

• Feel invigorated by activities, discussion, novelty, and parties

• Are more vulnerable to addictions

• Want lots of positive feedback

• Need rewards

• Learn by doing and talking

• May recall names and faces better than innies do

• Tell personal info

• Are easy to get to know

The activating of the “Give It the Gas” system means that outies
:

• Jump out of bed in the morning

• Become anxious and antsy under stress

• May walk, talk, and eat quickly

• May speak in a loud voice

• Need activity and interaction with other children to gain energy

• May talk about pain more

• Need to shut out stimuli to sleep

• Are uncomfortable with nothing to do

• May experience physical problems if they don’t slow down

• Appear active and outgoing

• Enjoy movement and exercising

• Have a high energy level—don’t need to eat as often

• May have attention problems

The Boot and the Bonnet

“
The brain is a factory with many products.” —Rita Carter

Stimulus flows through the brain in a revolution. Input in—input out. The brain takes in outside stimuli and interweaves it with memories and associations and creates perceptions. They spin around
the brain, collecting more complexity until they develop into a thought or action.

Most of us are aware of a division between the left and right hemispheres of the brain. However, the brain is
also
separated by a fissure between the front and the back. This is often described as the brain’s demarcation line between
doing
and
being
. It’s also the line that divides introverted and extroverted functioning. Innies’ brains are more active in the front or
bonnet
(what the British call the hood of a car) of the brain, which governs doing. Outies are more active in the back or
boot
(trunk, to the British) of the brain,
which governs being. Counterintuitive, isn’t it? It would seem that introverts should be the “be-ers,” not the “do-ers.” But perceiving the outside world and taking
involuntary
action are in the being part of the brain. Contemplation and deciding on
voluntary
action are in the doing areas. In terms of the brain, “action” has a broad meaning. Movement means thinking, feeling, or dreaming and the involuntary or voluntary movement of muscles.

How They Differ

The extroverted boot brain collects sensory data that flows in from the outside world. Its main function is to transform this data into perceptions by selecting, encoding, and comparing the new data to old feelings and memories. Actions are taken based on these perceptions. These actions are involuntary automatic reactions, based on quickly developed perceptions initiated from the back of the brain.

The boot brain kicks the new perception up to the introverted bonnet brain, the most evolved part of the brain and the most complex area of brain functioning. The bonnet brain—sometimes referred to by brain researchers as the executive or CEO of the brain—reflects and plans. Patterns are created, reflected on, balanced, and verified before, during, and after action. This affords the ability to anticipate, or project oneself into the future, and reflect on what has already happened. Innies often mentally try out what they could do and what they
might
have done, without actually doing it.

Complex emotions and self-awareness are functions in the executive part of the brain in the right frontal area. The executive left frontal area is where complex decisions are made. This is the last part of the brain to develop—in our mid-twenties—
which is probably why innies are often late bloomers
. The frontal lobes primarily serve to guide planning. This is where we talk to ourselves, monitor appropriate behavior, and select or inhibit actions; this is where alternatives are considered and goals are set. The planning area selects one or two choices and develops them into internal thoughts or ideas. If external action is needed, then instructions for voluntary movements are initiated.

Problems arise if the communication loop from the bonnet or the boot is ignored or gets stuck. If children aren’t helped to move out of their comfort zone, they can spin their wheels in their automatic way of functioning. A stuck outie takes lots of impulsive action but doesn’t pause to reflect and plan for more complex choices. Stuck for an innie means they cogitate forever instead of trying out ideas and actions in the outside world.

Here’s an example of the complementary strengths of the boot and the bonnet brain: “I’m packing,” I say to my husband, Mike. It’s a few days before we’re due to go on vacation. He looks skeptical. I picture my closet and visually select the clothes I want to take. The day before the trip, I set my blue suitcase on the bed. As I pass the closet, I pluck out a few items and toss them in the bag. Later in the day I fold and arrange my pre-chosen clothes in my suitcase. I’m done and ready long before I need to leave. The bonnet has served me well.

Now for the boot. It’s V-Day, the day we leave for vacation. I’m picturing palm trees swaying near a sparkling ocean. Mike isn’t packed, and it’s an hour before we have to leave for the airport. He flings his suitcase on the bed and tosses in some clothes from the closet. He sits on top of the suitcase to smash it closed, barely able to fasten the locks. He’s ready to leave for the airport. The boot can take quick, decisive action at a moment’s notice. Good for any emergency, too.

Innies and Outies in the Forest and the Trees

“
A woodland full of color is awesome as a forest fire; and a single tree is like a dancing tongue of flame to warm the heart.” —Hal Borland

Humans have four major areas of the brain that impact how they cope with life. These regions are specialized and built to work
both independently and together as partners. So far we’ve addressed the front of the brain, where innies function most, and the back of the brain, where an outie’s functioning is strongest. Now we’ll consider the two other areas: the right and left hemispheres. From the outside, the two hemispheres look almost identical. However, they have fundamentally different processing functions.

Every child will be dominant in one of the hemispheres. If your innie is more left-brained she may be logical and serious; she may find words easily, have more energy, be more judgmental, and she may not have as many social skills. A right-brained innie may be more playful, have better developed social skills and artistic talent, but may have more trouble speaking confidently, and often have the experience of feeling flooded and overwhelmed.

Each side of the brain processes information from a different point of view. The right brain sees the entire forest, and the left sees the individual trees. The right brain
synthesizes
information, and the left brain
evaluates
it. Although everyone is dominant on the right or the left, the goal is to improve communication and collaboration between the two hemispheres of the brain over a bridge that spans them: the
corpus callosum
. Working together, the two hemispheres produce unified experiences.

The main functions of the right brain are to shift attention to include the big picture and to notice complex social and emotional functioning. It is the high-powered emotional processor overseeing the capacity to read others, feel empathy, have self-reflection, and the capacity to self-soothe. It is the headquarters for seeing pictures in the mind, artistic talent, and musical ability. The right brain sees the context and patterns, so it is called an “anomaly detector.” When the right side decides that new information has reached a critical mass, it revises its belief system. It responds and integrates the new information. Recollections about your life story are stored in social and emotional memory by the neurotransmitter acetylcholine in the right brain. The right brain also plays a big part in regulating the autonomic nervous system. If a child functions predominantly from his right brain he can be swamped, scattered, and will have limited language abilities. The left brain focuses on the individual details. Most children and adults are dominant on the left hemisphere. Dopamine is the main neurotransmitter for the left brain, which functions with short-term memory. Its main functions are language, interpreting, and rationalizing. The left brain condenses sensory input in order to make simple and speedy decisions. It is linear and logical, so it reduces flooding the brain with tons of information, but it tends to deny or distort what it doesn’t want to see. Or it tries to make a square peg fit into the round hole it already knows. The left brain looks for links between cause and effect, it classifies, and it tends to judge things in terms of right and wrong.

LEFT AND RIGHT HEMISPHERES OF THE BRAIN

In the United States, we often overvalue the logical left and diminish the complexity of the less verbal right brain. Evolutionary psychologists think we have evolved separate brain functions so we can use one brain region at a time without getting overloaded and distracted.

Let’s look at what happens when the two sides communicate well. In conversation, the left brain will notice the words that are spoken:
what
is said. The right brain will register
how
something is said. The right brain picks up the emotional communication, facial expressions, tone, and gestures to add nuance, meaning, and associative links to the objective words. Together they collaborate to enhance understanding by synchronizing all levels of communication, verbal and nonverbal. Another way we see right and left brain cooperation is when a child is writing a paper. He uses his right brain to pick a subject he likes and to brainstorm topic ideas for the paper. Then he engages his left brain to make an outline and begin to logically organize his ideas.

The Whole Enchilada

“
Never desert your own line of talent. Be what nature intended for you, and you will exceed
.” —
Sydney Smith

Let’s look at “the whole enchilada” and see how these four sections of the brain turn their activity up or down, like the flame in your gas fireplace, as your child grows and develops. Eighteen months is a big turning point in a child’s life. Several brain regions switch from one side to the other so she can reduce some functions and turn up others. The
right
brain, the
back
of the brain’s amygdala, and the sympathetic nervous system mature first in babies and remain dominant for the first eighteen months. This gives kids high emotional reactivity to signal parents and find joy in life, and provides lots of get-up-and-go to learn to walk. At about a year and a half,
left
brain functioning, the
front
of the brain’s hippocampus, and the parasympathetic nervous system increase their activity. This allows the child to slow down for potty training, listening, and language development, which is aided by an improved memory.

Brain Facts

• The brain is born prematurely—it’s only 25 percent developed at birth. We know that the frontal lobes, which manage both feelings and thinking, don’t mature fully until about age thirty.

• Genes influence brain development, and they continue to be activated if the conditions are right as the brain develops and matures.

• Holding and soothing babies speeds their physical and emotional growth and development.

• The brain creates maps of what it needs to understand. When you are tapped on the shoulder, you know where your shoulder is because an internal map of your body has been created.

• Most of our brain functions unconsciously—outside of our awareness.

• It takes effort to be conscious.

• The brain divides input and stores it in separate places all over the brain. When we retrieve it, we have to rebuild it.