The House of Roses (44 page)

“
Sweetheart, can you watch Faith for a minute?  I need to go in the house. I'll be right back,” he called.

Mia nodded, and smiled. “Okay, Papa,” she said, and Colin watched her.

He was amazed at his own intuition, and didn't know if it came from wisdom, or some inner quality that prepared him to be a father one day. He saw through Mia's smile, saw the little girl behind the mask. She was frightened. She played with the dog and her laughter sounded authentic, but deep down, he knew she was terrified.
Dear God give us strength,
he asked as he walked into the house.

He sat at the dining room table, that by some amazing act of God, had found its way to the dining room. Despite the boxes, the house looked somewhat orderly, and he wondered if it was Caren who had orchestrated that, or if he had managed to find the best moving company in the free world. It didn't matter and the thought was fleeting. 

He opened his cell phone and dialed the number for his friend, Jim Hartwell, who had drawn up all the necessary paperwork for the adoption, which they were scheduled to sign on Tuesday. Jim answered on the second ring.

“
Jim, Colin Thomas. I'm sorry to bother you on Sunday,” Colin said, feeling agonized.

“
Not a problem, Colin. What can I do for you?”

“
I don't think we're going to be able to make it Tuesday.”

“
Okay. Is another day better?” Jim asked, and Colin swallowed hard.

“
She's dying, Jim. I don't know if she can make it until Tuesday.”

“
I'm very sorry, Colin. What can I do to help?” Jim asked, sounding sympathetic.

“
Can you come to the house?” Colin asked, hating to inconvenience his friend, but knowing the importance of it.

“
I can. How's tonight?” Jim asked.

“
Tonight is good,” Colin said. “Jim, the only thing keeping this woman going right now is making sure everything is taken care of for her child. She needs to be set free,” Colin said, as his eyes filled with tears.

“
I'll be there in about an hour,” Jim said, and Colin sighed.

“
Thank you.”  Colin gave him the address and Jim asked for an extra fifteen minutes to swing by his office and get the paperwork.

Colin hung up the phone and put his head in his hands. He sat for several minutes until he heard someone beside him. He turned and looked. It was Mia.

“
Don't cry, Papa,” she whispered, and the sincerity in her voice only made him cry harder. “Mama doesn't want us to be sad.”

“
I know,” he said, pulling Mia into his lap and holding her to his chest. 

“
I'm scared, Papa,” she whispered into his shoulder, and Colin sighed deeply.

“
I know, sweetheart. I'm scared, too,” he whispered.

“
I don't want you to be mad.”

“
Mad?” 

Mia pulled away from him and looked into his face. “Faith pooped in the yard,” she whispered and Colin smiled.

“
She's supposed to, Mia.”

“
Yeah, but I'm not supposed to sit in it.” 

What would have normally upset him, didn't seem to matter. The dog had pooped in the yard and his little girl had sat in it. He sniffed, then cleared his throat. “Mia?”

“
Yes, Papa?”

“
Where's the poop now?” he asked, knowing the answer to the question.

“
It's everywhere,” she said, and he laughed.

Mia giggled, and the two sat for another minute, as Colin contemplated his next move.

“
Hey, Mia,” he whispered.

“
What?”

“
Why don't we see if the washing machine works.”

“
That sounds like a good idea,” she said, and he laughed again.

Forty-seven

Monday turned out to be another glorious autumn day, and the beautiful weather seemed to ease the sorrow of the friends  and family of Ella Simons.

Caitlin sat on the porch with a cup of coffee. She held Hannah in her lap, and the baby stared at her.

“
Hannah banana,” Caitlin said playfully.

“
Hi, sweetie,” Rita said, appearing in the doorway with her grandson.

“
Hey, Mom. Is it always this beautiful here?”

“
Yes, but this fall has been particularly beautiful.”

“
I could definitely write here.”

“
Is that what you want to do?” Rita asked.

“
Yes. I have stories running through my mind all the time, and suddenly everything I see makes me want to write. It's actually kind of weird.”

“
How so?” Rita asked.

“
My life has never been this complicated, but I have never felt so free.”

“
It makes me so happy to hear you say that.”

“
There's something I need to tell you. Liz called me this morning,” Caitlin said.

“
How is she?”

“
Better.”

“
It just takes time.”

“
I know. Mom?”

“
Hmm?” Rita asked, as she looked up from blowing raspberries on Rogan's belly.

“
Ella left me her house.”

“
I know, Cate. I've known for a long time.”

“
It's okay, Mom.”

“
Is it?”

“
Yes. Ella also left journals. I'm going to start reading them.”

“
I knew about the journals.”

“
Is there anything you don't know?” Caitlin asked playfully, sufficiently lessening the tension she knew Rita felt.

“
Tons of stuff.”

“
I feel the same way.”

“
I don't want you to leave, Caitlin.”

“
I'm not leaving.”

“
No?”

“
No. I don't know what to do about Ella's house. Liz said we don't have to do anything right away. I'm happy here. I want to stay here, with you.”

“
Oh, Caitlin,” Rita said, her voice cracking with emotion. “This is what I've wanted all along.”

“
For me to live with you?”

“
No, for us to be like this. Just like this. It seems so simple for us to be sitting here, drinking coffee that tasted a little funky this morning. Did you notice that?”

“
I noticed,” Caitlin said with a slight grimace. “Don't change the subject.”

“
I wasn't. I was apologizing for the coffee in a roundabout way.”

“
The coffee's fine, Mom.”

“
It's lousy, but that's okay. I'd be happy drinking lousy coffee with you on this old, ratty porch any day.”

“
You know....., so would I.”

“
We're okay now, aren't we?” Rita asked gently.

“
I think we are.”

“
Ella would be pleased.”

“
I know.”

***

Colin Thomas awoke with a start. Rosario slept in the bed hospice had delivered the previous night. They'd been setting it up as Jim Hartwell arrived. As difficult as it had been, they were prepared for the end.

Colin rose from the mattress on the floor of the den, and padded quietly to Rosario's bedside. She was breathing, but her breathing was very shallow, and he knew the end was close. Mia laid tucked into the crook of her mother's arm, with the old bear pulled to her chest.

“
Morning, Papa,” she whispered, and he leaned over and kissed her cheek.

“
Morning, sweetheart.”

“
Where's Faith?”

“
Outside with Caren.”

“
Can I go?”

“
Okay.”

“
How's Mama?”

“
She's sleeping, Mia.”

“
Just sleep?”

“
Yes, sweetheart.”

“
Did she die?” Mia asked, looking into her mother's face. “Mama?” she whispered, and Colin felt his eyes fill with tears.

“
No, Mia.”

“
Do you think she'll die today, Papa?” she asked and he felt faint.

“
I don't know, Mia.”

“
Soon?” the child asked, and he inhaled sharply.

“
Yes, sweetheart.”

“
I don't want Mama to hurt anymore.”

“
Neither do I.”

“
Does it hurt to die?” 

“
Dear God,” he whispered, not realizing he'd spoken out loud.

“
Are you praying, Papa?” she asked.

“
Yes,” he said.

“
Me, too. God, please take care of Mama. When you see her, please tell her I love her. Marvin loves her, too,” Mia whispered. Colin watched as the child pressed the bear to her mother's cheek. “That was Marvin,” she whispered to Rosario, who didn't respond. Mia pressed her tiny lips to her mother's face. “That one was me,” she said softly. “I love you, Mama. I'll be right back.”

Colin stood biting his tongue, which failed him miserably. The tears he'd been fighting slid down his cheeks and Mia stood on the bed and wiped them away.

“
You're crying again, Papa.”

“
I know. I cry a lot all of the sudden.”

“
Me, too,” Mia whispered, and Colin picked her up. “Papa?” she asked, as he carried her up the stairs to her bedroom.

“
Yes, Mia.”

“
Will I die?”

“
Everyone dies, Mia. You won't die for a very long time, so I don't want you to worry about that.”

“
Okay. Does it hurt?” she asked again, and fresh tears filled his eyes.

“
I don't think so.”

“
Will I go to heaven?”

“
Yes, Mia.”

“
Will you?”

“
I'd like to,” he said.

“
Will Marvin?”

“
Only if he's a very good bear, Mia.”

“
He is. He's watching over Mama while we're gone.”

Forty-eight

Caitlin's cell phone rang as she was reading the instructions on the back of the Maxwell House can. For all of Rita's accomplishments, the woman couldn't make a good pot of coffee, and Caitlin had washed the remainder of the first pot down the sink, and was in the middle of making a second.

“
Hello,” Caitlin said into the phone.

“
Cate?”

“
Mom?”

“
Can you come to the shop?”

“
Yes. Is something wrong?”

“
No.”

“
Why did you call me?”

“
I've been sitting on this stool so long my legs fell asleep. I want you to see something.”

“
Okay.”

“
Where are the twins?” Rita asked.

“
They're right here, sleeping in the stroller.”

“
Okay, bring the monitor.”

“
I will.”

Caitlin finished the coffee with a peaceful smile on her face. She knew there would be difficult times for her and her mother ahead, but she knew she would never be bored;  Rita was full of surprises. Caitlin grabbed the monitor, a jacket from a rusty hook by the back door, and headed toward the shop. Rita was teaching herself to walk again when her daughter appeared in the doorway.

“
You look like a wooden soldier, Mom.”

“
I know. I can't feel anything below my hips,” Rita said, stepping away from an easel that had been hidden behind her.

Caitlin gasped, and Rita smiled. “Oh my God. Did you do that?”