The Hunter (Mistress & Master of Restraint) (22 page)

Cortez Abernathy
: Present
-Chapter Twenty-Six-

“Here,” Azriel says in her girly, demanding tone while pointing out a card. “This one next. Flip it over, Niel. Hurry before I forget.”

Niel and Azriel are hanging out in the solarium with a deck of memory cards. Ever patient, Niel is learning more than Azriel is.

“Good girl,” Niel drawls, eyes bright as he turns over a matching set of cherries. Azriel giggles, clapping her chubby hands. “How are you so good at this game?”

“Because she plays it constantly,” I answer from my perch near the doorway. “Just wait…” I can feel the wicked smirk stretching my lips, curling up at the corners. “You’ll learn that your children love repetition. If they like something, be prepared to do it until your brain bleeds, and then at least a few dozen times more… and it’s always something that drives you mad.”

“Ah, so that’s Ezra’s problem,” the buff Howdy Doody taunts.

Niel is infectious, but in a good way. The red head is warm and inviting, cheery and commanding. He’s the perfect blending of Regina’s no nonsense goodness and Grant’s mysterious playfulness- infectious. You just want to be around him. It’s why Niel has a gaggle of girls swarming him at all times, and it’s why he’s in the predicament he’s in.

It’s also why my
baby daughter follows Niel around… or that could be the puppies. I’m going with the puppies that are gnawing on a pair of flip-flops, which are absent from Niel’s feet… and Niel is holding Azriel’s coveted deck of cards that I could have sworn I’d thrown away last night after ten rounds of memory.

“Azriel, where did those cards come from?” I ask in my
don’t shit with me
tone.

“I don’t know, Daddy.” Azriel slowly says,
innocently widening her green eyes while shaking her head. A second later she leaps to her feet and runs at me. She tackles my thigh, squeezing tightly, and then makes a run for it.

“Ez,” I shout towards the kitchen.

“I got her,” Ezra shouts back with the background soundtrack of delighted giggling.

“You ready for that shit?” I mutter to Niel as I close the glass door separating the solarium from the kitchen. Niel looks awestruck or like he could piss his pants from fear.

“No, but I only have a few weeks over five months to get ready.” Niel’s voice cracks as he busies himself with putting the memory cards into matching order before placing them into their box. I wait in silence for a few minutes, sitting next to the pups as they annihilate Niel’s shoes. I take the cards from his outstretched hand and shove them into my back pocket… and promise myself to burn them this time, since I have a tiny garbage picker on my hands.

“Do you love her?” I mumble, not looking at the kid. I know how Niel feels, and at the same time, I don’t. We need Ez in here for this conversation. He wasn’t even eighteen when he knocked up Faith. Pretending amnesia by DID or not, he went through it alone. At least Faith had Stanton and their family… and Wil, you can never forget Wil. I would have helped Ezra through it, but he didn’t trust me to understand.

“Do you think I’m a freak,” Niel whispers, not looking at me, either.

“No,” I honestly answer. “Who am I to judge? I’m in love with a man… and not my wife. I’m living in your house with my family. I’m playing a ruthless game… and did I mention that man
I’m in love with is my flesh and blood? Yeah, who am I to judge.”

We’re quiet again, contemplating. Another Grant trait Niel picked up from his dad. Grant may be mute, but he was always quiet. When he spoke, you listened. I’ve spent a lot of time with Grant, just quietly thinking- plotting, books not games.

“You believe in God, right?” I ask, and Niel finally looks at me. I hate the glistening sheen to his pale green eyes, hate it. “I mean, you never miss Mass, and you actually like going to Catholic school.”

“Don’t you?” Niel counters, the smart shit.

“Yes and no… I didn’t but I did. I never went to church after my mother died, and I just went through the motions at Hillbrook. Ezra was converting to Judaism just before... But I didn’t. I didn’t feel it like Ezra did- I couldn’t do it without believing. It felt wrong somehow.”

“Are you an atheist?” Niel sounds surprised, and it makes me feel warm somehow.

“No, not at all,” I chuckle. “Catholic, through and through. I was young and stupid. Our faith is tested on a daily basis, and it’s how we react that matters. It’s why I won’t play the game… Niel, I’ve done some really bad shit, and I had blamed myself for a very long time. That is where my faith came in and comforted me, absolved me. God wouldn’t make me do anything I wasn’t strong enough to handle, and I can place the blame where it belongs now- with Ray.”

“I’m sorry, Cort,” Niel murmurs, pity lacing his voice.

“It is what it is, but that’s not why I’m bringing this up. There are all these rules we must abide by: government, religion, self-appointed, or familial. But God doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle. According to both of our faiths, Ezra and I loving one another is wrong on several levels. But how is love wrong? We’re not hurting anyone in any capacity. It’s God’s will and our faith that gives us comfort… so, you say freak, and I say a soon-to-be father who loves the mother of his child, who is learning all he can about child-rearing, and will nurture and take care of his family, and love them forever. What is wrong with that, Niel? It sounds good to me, and if they don’t think so… fuck ‘em!”

“Ugh,” wheezes out of me when I’m tackled by a two hundred and fifty pound kid… and that is
exactly what Niel is, a big boy. Barely eighteen and still in high school, he looks like a man and acts like a man, but inside his mind and emotions, he’s still a boy.

Niel curls around me, weeping, scared shitless and heartbroken. Shivering with nerves and anxiety, he holds onto me like I can protect him from reality. I rub his back and try to soothe him, but only he can right his life.

“It… it didn’t start off so good… the reason why we were together was… not entirely our choice… blackmail… but as soon as we… as soon as we connected, we were lost to one another,” Niel’s voice cracks a half dozen times as he speaks. “We always wanted each other, and that was our excuse to finally give in.”

“What?” I gasp as I hold a shivering boy. Niel is shaking so badly that he is practically vibrating with anxiety.

“Pregnancy- I knew it was a possibility when I was with her. I can’t go into the specifics, I just can’t. But the first time… we didn’t use protection, and since it was already too late, I didn’t the second or third time, either.”

“Niel, why?” I breathe out- shocked
that it was more than once. I have no idea why Niel would do any of it: the girl, the sex, the no condom. Blackmail?

“Was it an unsanctioned gameplay, Niel? This is pretty fucking twisted. You could have went to Faith,” I mumble, totally lost in confusion.

“Not a gameplay, but it might as well have been. We kissed and someone saw, and they toyed with us worse than anyone from the game ever could… I doubt they thought of the consequences.”

“You mean the baby?” I ask.

“The pregnancy- I knew it, and it’s like I subconsciously wanted it to happen so that I didn’t have to hide how I felt anymore. I didn’t think of the ramifications. It’s not the responsibility- I’m good with that. I’ve been acting as the man of the house since Mom and Dad left. I’d forgotten that it wasn’t just about creating a situation where it was obvious. We created a human being, a life- a breathing person with hopes and dreams and a future that we now have to explain this shit to… and I did it, knowing I was doing it. I did it three times, making sure it happened. This wasn’t an accident- well, it was for her, but not me.”

“Wow,” I whisper in disbelief. “You really fucked up, didn’t you? You can’t hide it for long. She’s showing. Those of us that know about your dirty secret notice. You have maybe a month
where a sweater can hide the bump before the rest of them notice… your mom… Marcus… Holy fuck, your grandfather. They will kick your ass back to your eighteenth birthday, just before you knocked her up.”

“We didn’t even do a home pregnancy test. She was late and we went
straight to the clinic. Not once did I even think of an abortion. With the media watching our every step, it’s going to destroy my family. It’s going to leak over into our financial and political lives. My stupid shit could have ruined everything.”

“Niel, it will be okay,” I pathetically lie to soothe the shaking boy.

“Bullshit. I take full responsibility for all of it. Even the blackmail was a choice. If it had been another girl, nothing could have gotten me to have sex with her- nothing. I would have silenced my blackmailer. Now I get to explain to my grandkids how I took their grandmother’s virginity and knocked her up because I used blackmail as an excuse to make her mine.”

“Is she mad at you,” I ask, pulling Niel back from where he fused
himself to my chest so I can look him in the eyes. I chuckle when I see how Missy and Mast have curled up in his lap, comforting their master. “Does she know the pregnancy was on purpose?”

“No on both accounts. She’s going to kill me,” Niel mutters, shivering harder. “She’ll hate me for sure.”

“Well, when a guy has sex with you without a condom… three times no less, it doesn’t take an engraved invitation that he wants to impregnate you. No one is that stupid or foolish.”

“True,” Neil mumbles, tear-filled eyes brightening with hope.

“You must tell everyone before they find out from gossip. It would be better hearing it from you,” I offer reasonable advice, advice I’d never take. But then again, you know the shit is about to hit the fan if I’m the reasonable one.

“We aren’t even halfway through our senior year. It’s not like I can ask her to marry me, if she’d even want me, if it’s even allowed. I’m sure our parents will have a shotgun… to keep us apart. The baby will be born before we even graduate. How selfishly trashy of me- and it wasn’t even an accident like every other teenaged pregnancy. If I loved her, I would have waited to ruin her life.”

“What does she say about all of this?” I prompt, trying to get Niel to emotionally calm so that when we leave this room his mother won’t ask questions. Last I knew, Regina and Ezra were in the kitchen, chatting about Restraint bullshit, something about the new website. Niel’s mom is inches on the other side of this closed door. I need the kid looking fresh and happy when we exit this room. Regina would love to kick my ass. No need to give her a viable excuse.

“We don’t talk anymore. That’s why I’m trying to show her that I’ll make it better, that I’ll learn everything I can before the baby arrives. She’s almost nineteen weeks… it’s a boy. We’re having a son.”

“Holy shit, Niel,” I shout, a dreamy expression on my face- looking like every dumb fuck parent when someone says they’re having a baby. “Congratulations,” I sing, roughing up Niel’s hair like he’s five, not a grown man. “Word of advice, don’t name him Daniel.”

Watery green eyes widen, and a second later Niel laughs, sounding just like Grant used to, and just how his son will sound eighteen years from now. The circle of life.

Cortez Abernathy: Present
-Chapter Twenty-Seven-

“Where’s our spawn?” I ask the blond head that is leaning over a pile of paperwork. Niel tries to slink by before his mother gets a good look at his face, but Regina’s hand flies out and latches around the boy’s thick wrist. Anyone else wouldn’t have been able to contain Niel, but he got his size from his mom.

“What’s wrong?” Regina mumbles, looking just as sad as Niel. I think she knows, or at least suspects. There is so much gossip that it would take a miracle for Regina not to have heard it yet. Plus, with Marcus acting like a crazy bastard, Regina is worried about that, too.

“Nothing, Ma. It’s just my allergies
. You know how I get,” Niel flippantly says. “I better go put in a few hours in the study or Whitt will get pissed that I’m slacking on my duties. Being the heir to an empire means no rest for the wicked.”

“Is that why you’re sad? Do you miss Whitt living here?” Regina
’s voice breaks, wavering, and she looks like she’s about to bawl her eyes out. “Are you stressed from too much work? Niel,” she breathes, “you’re still a kid. Act like one for as long as you can.”

“I think I’m better off acting responsible,” Niel mutters
, as his face simultaneously blushes and pales. “I do really, really stupid shit when I try to act like everyone else. I’m not normal, and I never will be. Might as well not fight it and go do the job I was born to do. I’ll see ya later, Ma.”

Niel flees the room before his betraying tears streak down his cheeks. Regina looks on the verge of tears, too. Ezra looks back and fort
h between us and the empty doorway- analyzing, interpreting.

“Whitt misses you both, you know
,” Ezra whispers. “But you need the separation to move on. But that isn’t Niel’s issue. Regina, you need to get your son to talk,
now
,” he stresses. “Go to Niel while he’s vulnerable to your motherly manipulations. Make. Him. Talk. Go,” Ezra orders, causing Regina to jump from her chair and run after her son.

“Do you really believe Niel will spill the beans?” I ask, rubbing the back of Ezra’s neck. He looked pained bent over his work while sitting at the breakfast nook. Ezra moans for me, rotating his neck and relaxing into my hands.

“Niel will tell Regina everything… but nothing will get
her
name to pass his lips, at least not while she’s still ignoring him and their issues.” Staring transfixed at Ezra’s eyes, I barely hear what he’s saying.

“You need to talk to Niel, too… you know why…” I trail off.

“I have been,” Ezra murmurs, sounding highly amused. “I’ve been talking to the girl, too. They’re on the same page, they just don’t know it.” Ezra’s smile is beatific, brilliant. 

“You’re a manipulati
ve bastard,” I say, lips twisting into a wicked smirk. “I love a manipulative bastard… so hot.” I bend down, hovering for a kiss. “Where are our twins?” I ask again. The absence of Azriel’s bossy voice and Baby Ez’s quiet presence sets off alarm bells in my mind.

“Katya took Ava an
d the twins for ice cream. Kat asked if she could have a mother day with them three times a week. It confused the hell out of me. I told Kat they were her kids, you don’t ask permission to take them anywhere. We need to talk to her, figure out what her issue is.”

I don’t say anything- Katya’s issue is the same as mine.
This triad isn’t working when two of the three aren’t together. One of us has to leave this arrangement, and it’s up to Ezra to pick. Neither of us has the balls to initiate that conversation, not wanting to leave the marriage, but loving each other enough not to be competitive and nasty.

Curled over Ezra’s head, staring at him upside down, hovering for my kiss, Ezra intently reads my face. I know my thoughts are betraying me. “I guess you’ll tell me when you’re ready,” Ezra murmurs, looking very sad and lost all of the sudden. “Cort, please,” Ezra begs, hands lifting to hold my arms to his chest. “Don’t leave me… I can’t live through it. Please,” he breathes.

Confused by the tears shining in Ezra’s eyes, I lean down and kiss him. A tender brush of lips against lips. “Why do you think I’d leave?” I whisper against his mouth.

“This… affection, the sex, the way you’re looking at me like I hang the fucking moon. I’m waiting for you to laugh and say,
gotcha!
”

I understand Ezra’s reservations. I’ve played that game of
run towards Ezra and then away
for my entire life… after Ray, because of Ray, because of our familial connection, because I was unsure of what I am. No more. Never again. Writing The Hunter has helped me move on. Even if Ezra picks Katya over me, I’m still not leaving him. I’ll just come up with an arrangement Kat can handle. But I’m as committed as I’ve ever been. More so, actually.

“The only way I’m leaving you is if you tell me to leave…
and I may not even go then, either. You’ll have to rip me away from you while I turn into a screaming banshee.”  My lips twist into a mischievous smirk, but I’m dead serious. They’ll have to kill me to get me to leave Ezra. I may not be playing dirty with Katya, but I’m still fighting for my life- for Ezra.

“Ah,” I gasp. Ezra unhinges, hands cupping the back of my head. He draws me down to his mouth and devours me, consumes me. For several long minutes, we kiss, hands caressing and groping and holding tightly, desperately.
It’s embarrassing how we forget we’re in the middle of a kitchen in an Estate with a lot of people that could need a snack at any given moment. But when it’s just Ezra and me, we ignite. What more proof do I need that Ezra is where I belong?

Gasping for breath, Ezra groans. “Sorry, you really do come first with me,” Ezra stresses. “But I have a time-sensitive appointment. Faith and Wil
have duty tonight, and Stanton is okay with me going to hang out with Zane for a few hours. It’s nice to see my son when he’s not struggling to stay awake.”

“Go,” I say with a laugh, pushing Ezra out of his seat. “I’m a dad, too, dumbass. Making out takes a backseat to them- as it should. Tell Zane I said hello.”

My eyes linger on Ezra’s kiss-swollen lips. “You are so fucking sexy,” I breathe, causing Ezra to flash me a lust-filled grin. Hand palming the front of my neck, fingers biting in for leverage, Ezra yanks me to him, and devours my mouth for a long time. I turn into a slut- groping Ez’s ass, trying to grind my erection on his hip. I lean back, moaning, as Ezra sucks at my throat- the man has a major neck fetish.

“Go,” I moan. “Ya better go before I beg you to fuck me on this table… and anyone could see.”

Stunned, left standing alone in the kitchen, Ezra flees out door to the solarium. I shake my head a dozen times to clear my mind, but the lust fog doesn’t abate. My body is thrumming with a need so strong that I have to go find the nearest bathroom and whack off. I haven’t masturbated in a long time, I haven’t needed to. Ezra makes me lose my fucking mind. It’s never been this hot between us.

Eyes flashing open, I feel an intense gaze burning a hole into my flesh. Amber eyes aflame meet my curious stare. “Marc,” I mumble, confuse
d to why he looks insane- eyes glowing with madness, ringlets sticking in every directions from frustrated hands tugging at the coils.

Marc doesn’t say a word as I walk by him and down the hall towards the grand staircase. But his eyes never leave my retreating back.