The Hunter (Mistress & Master of Restraint) (28 page)

BOOK: The Hunter (Mistress & Master of Restraint)
7.69Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

The Hunter: Past
-Chapter Thirty-Seven-

Running away feels wrong. But I was sent to protect Aaron and get Ezra out of here. Both objectives will only succeed
if I run away- run from Ezra. My actions go against all comprehension.

Even though I flee, I know Ezra needs me to be there for him right this second.
The need to help Ezra almost has my feet drawing me back to him. But if I stay, I won’t be alive to be there for Ezra in the future.

Priorities.

I’ve lived through thirty-four sessions of what Ezra is doing right this second… he should be able to heal from the one rape.

Running for my life with Aaron’s hand
tightly wrapped around mine, I don’t feel the burn of exertion as my muscles protest the fast movement. I don’t feel the rocks cutting into my shoeless feet or the briars and branches tearing at my flesh. Ray never gave me my clothing back.

Aaron struggles, even with his well-nourished and fully clothed
young body. Aaron’s not mentally and emotionally and physically broken- not as much as me at least. He’s not starved and dehydrated and nearly naked. He’s not lazy and uncoordinated and out of shape. Yet Aaron struggles to run away from our abductor, our torturer.

Aaron lacks the one thing I have. It’s not charm or cunning. It’s the will to survive. Aaron didn’t even beg or plead… or fight. He just took it. The day I
do that is the day I die.

Will Ezra survive this? Ezra
put me through thirty-four rapes versus his one because he wouldn’t admit the truth. It’s not just the violation of the body you are possessing, it’s the violation of your own- a double-ruin. Two lives destroyed in one act, and I’ve destroyed five lives, and only Aaron and I are still breathing.

It doesn’t matter how many times you do it, it doesn’t get
any easier. So thirty-four or one, it hurts the same… and I don’t think Ezra has the survival instincts I do. The Hunter was born in us, but only I perfected it.

After five or so minutes of frightful running, I pull Aaron up against a thick tree trunk. “We need to wait for Ezra. We have to be close enough that he’ll find us, but far enough away that Ray won’t,” I breathlessly pant
, sliding down the bark of the tree. I don’t give a shit that my back gets torn up on the slide down.

The second Aaron is at the tree, he pulls from me, scared to death of me after what I put him through. I was gentle, as gentle as one co
uld be with a rape. If it hadn’t been for four years of constant anal sex with Ezra, I might have permanently harmed Aaron’s innocent body. But I knew what I was doing and I made sure Aaron’s body enjoyed it. Now Aaron’s mind is angry at me because his body keeps responding to me when he doesn’t want it to. It’s just what my traitorous body has done to me since I got my first hard-on, and I’ve never went soft since.

Aaron stares at me with hate-filled eyes, chillingly cold, just like his surname of Frost. My eyes flick down, and I don’t mean to laugh. But after everything I’ve been through, normal doesn’t register. Demented seems to delight me, and I
hope it fades away. Aaron is painfully hard, bulging in the jeans that were stolen from me. Aaron hates me, but he wants me just the same.

“I promise you this, kid,” I hiss, biting my lip against the sick laugh that threatens to spill. “I don’t want you… at all. And I will never, ever touch you like that again. Even if you beg, the answer is NO!”

Saying nothing, Aaron relaxes. I could tell he was worried about what his body wants, and that I’d take it from him again. I won’t. I wouldn’t… not ever again.

I close my eyes to attune my hearing to my surroundings, just thinking of Ezra… waiting for Ezra to get done with his finale, as Ray called it. Ezra denied the paternity of Faith’s baby, so Ray is making him create another.

“Aaron,” I jerk at the sound of Faith’s petrified voice, did I imagine it because I was thinking of her.

My eyes flash open. Beside me is Faith, on her knees in front of Aaron. Shaking the boy, Faith says
, “Look at me. Aaron, it’s Faith. C’mon, look at me.”

“Chickadee,” I listlessly croak
out. Once I sat, all the adrenaline that was keeping me on my feet fled. I tentatively reach out my hand to Faith, unsure if she’s real, and if she is, wondering if she’ll reject my touch. “What are you doing here, not that I’m not happy to see you?” I smile, happy to see her even if she’s just a figment of my imagination.

“Ez,” Faith’s voice comes out strangled. Her eyes continually sweep the area. No doubt looking for Ezra and Ray. “Where are they?”

“Ez
ra should be with us soon. After he…” I stumble over the words, not wanting Faith to know the disgustingly vile lengths Ray went to over her unborn child. Faith would blame herself.

Aarons
crawls away and throws up. It’s nothing I haven’t seen or heard since I stole his innocence, and even once during. The sound echoes around the woods, and then the smell hits- the beer Ray made us drink constantly.

“After he does what Ray wanted him to do to that poor girl… he’s... We were gonna run away after he met us here. But you’re here, so… Oh, no
,” I cry out in a panic. If Ray sees her, he’ll... “NO… Faith, leave! If Ray sees you, he’ll hurt you,” I scream as I try to push her away with my weak arms. I protected Aaron from everyone but myself. I no longer have the energy to protect anyone else… and Faith is too important to me to see her hurt. I couldn’t live with myself if Ray hurt her, or made one of us hurt her. 

“Ray ain’t doing shit to me, Cort. Trust me on that. Now,
where are they?” Faith hisses like a feral cat. But she doesn’t get it. Faith might think she’s tough. But I’ve seen bigger women break under Ray’s insane care. Faith wouldn’t survive, no matter how strong her will is.

Faith’s boyfriend slides
up to us like a man stealing home plate. I flinch back in surprise, realizing I’m really out of it if I never heard him come. Aaron squeaks in fear as he scrambles away to hide behind a thick tree trunk.

“Hey,” Wil calmly says
to Aaron, like a man talking to an injured animal. “I’m not here to hurt you,” he coaxes. “I’m a paramedic. I just need to see that you’re okay… may I?” Wil asks before he touches Aaron.

“You’re… I don’t know who you are, but I’ve s
een you a lot… everywhere.” I know Wil is Boyd’s buddy and Faith’s boyfriend. But just now, I don’t trust him. A montage of Wil sightings plays out in my mind. Almost as if at my most vulnerable, I can finally see the truth. I hear Ezra schooling Aaron on this game, and then… “How did you know to find us?”

“That is a conversation for another time. I will explain it to the both of you, or Ezra may. But right now, I need to know if you’re injured,” Wil rapidly replies. “Where do you hurt?”

“Does my mind count, doc?” I snarkily reply. “Aaron’s hurt, but… um… I didn’t want to hurt him.” I begin sobbing, unable to contain the guilt. “Um… but… um… make sure he gets a girl doctor, okay? No guys. Aaron can’t handle that.”

“What?”
Faith whimpers.

Unable to handle what I did to those strangers who are no longer living, and then there is what I did to my friend…
Hysteria sets in. I can’t stop sobbing. My body is wracked with sobs until my battered muscles spasm. I nearly suffocate on the hiccups of air that can’t get out of my lungs. A howl-like sound erupts from my chest- hollowly keening, as if I’m emotionally and mentally bleeding out. My soul is dying.

Ezra sprints out of the woods in our direc
tion, running headlong towards me. I gasp, shocked to see Ezra- alive. I need him. I need him so much. I hold my hand out towards Ezra as I weep, begging him to help me. I’m suffocating on my guilt, dying from the shame.

“Ezra,” a strangulated moan is torn from lips. I reach for him
again, so happy that he’s with us, no longer raping that innocent girl… no longer with Ray.

“You gotta shut up, now,” Faith angrily hisses at me- she doesn’t understand. I
need
Ezra. Faith’s words make me cry harder. I’m so alone. Blackness is creeping in around the edges, I can’t get enough air. I can’t breathe until I touch Ezra and know he’s real.

“Your other half needs you to be quiet,”
Faith nastily warns. “Plus, Ray will hear your screaming.”

Faith doesn’t understand. I
need
to call out to Ezra. I
need
to touch him to see if he’s real. He isn’t getting any closer. Is Ezra a figment of my imagination? Did he really not escape Ray? What if Ezra isn’t real? What if I’m crazy? I’ll never survive life without Ezra by my side.

A scream is torn from my throat as panic and desperation set in. I break for the first time in days. I rock back and forth screaming… and screaming… and screaming my pain. The agony, the frustration is torn from my throat…

The crack of a small
hand across my face has me silent from shock. Stunned, I blink watery gray eyes up at Faith as I palm my stinging cheek.

Faith
hit me. Why?

I watch in amazement- Ezra is real…
A fist lashes out. My eyes widen, staring at the knuckles of an elegant hand that have never punched another human being. The fist suspends in mid-air as I watch two halves of the whole war in their shared mind. Ezra wants to punch Faith, but Master Ez won’t let him. Faith moves out of the way before the decision is made.


Ezra,” Faith twists his name. “Cort’s howling was drawing Raymond to us. Aren’t you sick of Ray?”

“My apologies,” Ezra politely, yet tightly says.

“Can you guys please meld together and give us Ez back, please,” Faith begs, seeing the personality division in Ezra. “Cort is fine- aren’t you, Cortez?” Faith turns to me, glaring more hatred than Ray had used on me. No one has ever looked at me with as much malice as Faith- not even my victims.

Faith leans into me,
menacingly pressing her lips to my ear. “I don’t know what you’ve been through, and I’m so terribly sorry that you had to live through it. But the three of you are alive. Now stop being a selfish prick and tell Ezra you are fine, or else we may never get Ez back. Do it,” she nastily hisses.

I’m the selfish prick?

“I’m fine, Ezra,” I robotically murmur while Faith’s lips are still pressed to my ear. “We need to get out of here, so we need to be able to think, ya know?” I nervously mumble because Faith is scaring me more than Uncle Ray ever has.


There’s a girl,” Ezra says. “Ray… he stopped what he was doing to the girl to chase me. But I… but I… I raped a girl.” Ez breathes out a sound that will haunt me for all of my days. “And then he took his turn.” He falls to the ground next to me, finally touching me. I breathe a sigh of relief.

Ezra is real.

I curl around Ezra as he curls around me. We share everything- including this shame.

“I’ll get th
e girl, you get that bastard,” Faith snarls, upper lip curling off her sharp looking teeth. She snatches up an orange duffle bag that has a symbol on it, and then runs off in the direction Ezra came from.

“I’ll call the FBI again. Last call they had several ambulanc
es on standby,” Wil shouts to Faith.

Shivering, Ezra and I ball ourselves around each other as Wil softly murmurs into his cell phone. “Are you okay?” Ezra ask. “I’m so fucking sorry. I told you that you shouldn’t
have come.”

“I had to save you,” I whimper. “I had to.”

“I wasn’t worth saving,” Ezra despondently replies, barely a breath of sound. “You and Aaron were worth more than saving me.”

“Not to Marcus,” I honestly admit. Aaron and I were just throwaway sons- disposable… replaceable. Ezra isn’t replaceable. “
Not to me,” I breathe.

“Wil?” Aaron grumbles, finally coming to life. “Is that you?”

“Aaron,” Wil mutters. “It’s about time, buddy.”

Aaron launches himself several feet and lands on top of Wil
, arms groping the other man. Aaron holds on, weeping, shuddering. Ezra and I move as a unit to pull Aaron back- keep him safe.

“No,” Wil softly commands, holding an arm out to stop us. “I’ve known Aaron since he was born. Our dads were friends. “Isn’t that so, buddy? Hmm?” Wil croons, stroking Aaron’s hair. “You’re safe now. Nothing
can ever hurt you again. I promise.

“Wil’s telling the truth,” Ezra hoarsely says. “I explained this all to you earlier
, but you weren’t listening… Wil and Faith are in the game.”

“I don’t give a shit about a game,” I hiss, ya
nking away from Ezra. “It’s the stupid shit that did this to us,” I angrily shout. “TO. ME!” I scream. “Fuck the game!”

“Cort,” Ezra tries to soothe me. “Shh…”

“I just want to go home,” I cry, pulling away from all of them to curl up on the forest floor. When Ezra touches me I angrily jerk away. “I just want to go to ShadowHaven,” I whimper over and over and over.

Cortez Abernathy
: Present
-Chapter Thirty-Eight-

“I can’t believe it’
s been almost seven months since we lived here,” I mumble in awe as we stand between the open medieval doors at the entrance to ShadowHaven. I longingly stare into the foyer and up the staircase, needing this to be a true homecoming instead of it being an invasion. I’m
breaking
into my own house, and fuck it, I’m about to add
entering
to the list of crimes. 

I step over the threshold, taking the first real breath I’ve had in ages. I missed out on seven months of my children’s giggles echoing within these four walls. ShadowHaven isn’t a building, a house. It’s
a living, breathing entity.

ShadowHaven is home.

“Welcome home,” Ezra purrs near my ear, running his nose along my jawline. He grabs my hand and pulls me into the house.

“I wish that were really true,” I whisper beneath my breath.

“I can’t apologize enough,” Ezra hoarsely says, and I can hear the shame and tears in his voice.

I gently squeeze Ezra’s hand as I pull him up the staircase. I explain as we walk, “I don’t say I miss home to be a spiteful knife to your heart. I just miss our home. I really don’t blame you, Ezra. You did what you thought was right at the time. Just learn from it, and stop acting with your emotions instead of your conscience.
Always think of the consequences before you act. I’ll get our home back… for our kids… for my mom,” I vow.

“And I believe you,” Ezra says as he grabs the bedding from
our
shared bed- Ezra’s and mine since we left our cribs. My heart clenches in pain. I miss the happy times in this room. I’d suffer through the bad just to regain the good.


When
we come home,” I say with a smirk, “Marcus should stay at Whittenhower Estates. He needs his distance from us. Marc is going to go postal when he hears the truth. Plus,” I reluctantly admit, “He has real feelings for me. Marcus needs to stay with Regina and their children- share their life together instead of living ours. It’s why he’s… bent right now.”

“Did Marcus tell you he had real feelings for you?” Ezra hesitantly asks.

Refusing to keep any secrets between us anymore, I tell the truth. “Marcus said he was in love with me,” I admit. I smirk when Ezra’s gasp of shock hits my ears. I grab an armful of blankets and leave our room. Being in here hurts too much on so many levels.

“Marc isn’t, though. Not really,” I say to a very silent and seething Ezra. “He’s lost… so, no Marc in ShadowHaven. He needs to find his own house. And…” I hesitantly say this last request.
“Diane should stay where she is, too. This house haunts her because of the past. Diane is happy with the Whittenhowers. Daniel is her companion and Adelaide is warming her bed. We don’t need Diane here. It sounds selfish, but it’s for her own sanity.”


I was worried… but I’m not as worried anymore. Now that you’re happily making plans about coming home,” Ezra begins as we cross the back lawn, arms loaded with bedding. “Unless you say I’m not welcome in my own home because I lost it… I can feel you pulling away from me. I know what’s happening with you and Katya. You’re getting along… but Kat said you aren’t her husband anymore- snapped it at me, really. I thought…”

“Thought what?” I prompt when Ezra trails off his speech.

“I thought you were leaving me. That with you and Kat separating… that you might not want me as a husband, either. You distancing yourself from me emotionally while voraciously giving me your body. The strange looks I keep getting from you while you’re lost in thought… I thought… I thought you were leaving me for Marc.”

“What?” I shout. “Why? That’
s never happening.”

“I figured that out when you said Marc was no longer a ShadowHaven resident. But I worry that you’re
just trying to get temptation out of your line of sight,” Ezra knowingly says.

I ignore Ezra’s silent questioning as we approach our tent. This is Ezra and my special place. It’s the place nothing else enters- no taint, no problems or issues, no consequences or punishments. It’s just me and Ezra, back in a time when we were innocent- sane. Before we ruined so very many lives.

I toss our blankets in the tent, and crawl in behind the bundle. I start creating our little, private nest. “I’m never touching Marcus like that again,” I finally admit out loud. “It feels good during, and I do love him… and yes, my feelings were evolving. But I shouldn’t feel ashamed afterwards. There is too much history between us- all of us. Marcus deserves that life he’s always dreamed of: a strong and loving wife, kids, a happy home, a rewarding career… and I cannot give him that. I can’t give that to anyone.”

I curl up underneath a few blankets, and Ezra joins me. I can tell my statement is running on repeat in Ezra’s mind. I so very badly want to tell Ezra that this is our last night like this. I am leaving in a way… because once I admit what I really want, I know Ezra can’t give it to me- he won’t. Ezra deserves that same life that Marcus longs for, and Katya is the one that can give it to him.

Ezra rolls over on top of me, pinning me beneath him. “I can feel it in here,” Ezra points at his temple, exactly how Zane had earlier. “You’re pulling away from me- leaving me,” Ezra softly says, tears filling his eyes.

“No, I’m not,” I breathe. It’s the opposite, actually. I’m wholly giving myself to Ezra, all of myself, for the first time ever. I’m letting the fear go, the shame, the confusion. I’m no longer
lost. It will be up to Ezra if he will accept me for who and what I am, and accept how I want to live. Ezra can deny me, but I’ll guarantee his continual companionship by refusing to leave ShadowHaven once I get it back. Ezra will either live with me or somewhere else.

Ezra will also have to co-parent with me- genetics or not, Ezra’s kids are my blood. I will raise Zane, Ava, and Baby Ez alongside my daughter, Azriel, and no one is going to stop me.

Ezra can pick a life with Katya all he wants, but he’ll never be rid of me. I’ve imprinted the pleasure of my body on his. The warmth of my love in his heart. Ezra will crave both when I say no because he chose yet another over me. Ezra will have to regret his decision as he looks at me across the breakfast table until we die.

I said I wouldn’t fight dirty- I lied. Ezra doesn’t think he’s worth fighting for, but that’s not Ezra’s call.
It’s mine, and I’m fighting for my life.

“Remember our first time,” I whisper into Ezra’s ear, amusement warming my tone. My walk down memory lane isn’
t all manipulation. But I have a lifetime filled with history on my side, where Katya doesn’t. Katya offers a normal life, children- I have to use whatever I can in my arsenal. “You grunted like a stuck pig, coming all over the ground.” Ezra actually giggles like he did as a boy.

“I loved having you in
side me,” Ezra purrs back. “God, that was fucking hot. Not just sexy, but like a hundred and two degrees in the shade… It was perfect until…” Ezra trails off, remembering his breakdown later that night. It was the first time we had to sedate Ezra. It was three days before he was conscious. It took almost a year of Ezra’s constant begging before I touched him again like that. I’d worried that my touch made Ezra have a psychotic break. The night this tent was erected, I touched Ezra again, and never stopped until Faith came to us.

“No bad shit in here, remember?” Ezra warns, shaking me from my dark thoughts.
“Happy thoughts.”

The last thing I see is the amused twist of Ezra’s lips as they descend on mine. My fingers seek Ezra’s hair, holding him to my mouth. My legs wrap around his waist, grinding my erection into his. Slowly, thoroughly, we kiss and grope like teenagers on a camping trip. Neither of us taking it to
the level of sex. I’d said I wanted Ezra to spend the night with me- put me first. I’d said no sex, and he’s abiding by it.

Sensual instead of sexual. Love instead of sex. Connecting. Bonding. Homecoming. We affectionately touch instead of fuck.

“I love you,” I moan as Ezra suckles at my throat. I fist his hair, gaining his attention. “I’m never leaving you- I’m giving myself to you. When I finally get the balls to say the words, it will be up to you on what we do next… what kind of life we lead. But regardless, the only way you’re getting rid of me is to kill me.”

“Thank God,” Ezra cries out,
his arms shaking as he holds me tightly. “Thank God…”

BOOK: The Hunter (Mistress & Master of Restraint)
7.69Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

Other books

The Duke's Dilemma by Nadine Miller
The Death Cure by James Dashner
Joseph Lemasolai Lekuton by Facing the Lion: Growing Up Maasai on the African Savanna
A Time to Move On by Karolyn James
Slaves of Obsession by Anne Perry
The Cat Who Sniffed Glue by Lilian Jackson Braun
All In: (The Naturals #3) by Jennifer Lynn Barnes
Black Jack Point by Jeff Abbott