The Invisible Husband (3 page)

“My…Lady…His
Lordship…is still abed…”

The rustling of
curtains being drawn together behind her sent a chill down Eve’s
spine. The summoned demon had come. “It’s alright Mrs Good…” The
husky whisper seemed to promise every conceivable evil. Eve spun
round to see a dark shape of a man against the closed curtains.
“…I’m right here.”

“Forgive me my
Lord…I thought her Ladyship would sleep longer…”

“Send up her
lady’s maid and prepare the small dark dining room for breakfast in
an hour.”

“Yes my Lord.”
Jangling keys clanked together as the woman ran back the way she’d
come leaving Eve alone at the mercy of her husband.

“You
called…my Lady?”

Was there a
smile in his husky whisper? She slammed the door closed and marched
across the room her knees weak with fear, her hammering heart
advising caution. A few feet from the shadow she noticed the black
hole in the wall where he’d entered. She stopped within arms reach
and put her hands on her hips as she conquered the desire to turn
and run. “At last, my invisible husband; perhaps you’d be so good
as to introduce yourself and explain why you married me.” Her voice
rose to an ear splitting scream. “Why?” A shadow arm reached out as
if to comfort her. “Don’t touch me!” The arm recoiled as if
slapped. Shadowy hands were placed on hips, somehow giving off an
air of injury. Taking a deep breath she asked in an almost normal
tone. “Why did you close the curtains?”

“I’m
hideous.”

“Why are you
whispering?”

“I can’t talk
any louder. I survived a deep wound across the throat.”

“Well, that
makes me feel safe. Did you cut yourself shaving? Did you try to
kill yourself out of despair or did someone try to murder you?”

“I challenged a
man to a duel.”

“How romantic;
I might also add…how stupid.”

“Yes. Thank you
for adding that.”

“So this
romantic stupid streak…this inspired you to purchase a woman, a
woman you’ve never met, to be your wife?”

“My mother
thinks so.”

“You have a
mother? Are you a widow? Do you have children? How old are you?
Where do you live? Are you mad? I don’t know anything about you. I
wasn’t even privy to your name before that melodramatic insanity
you dreamed up for a wedding.”

“You’re my
first wife. I know I should have written, but every time I tried to
put pen to paper it all came out sounding…stupid.”

Eve relaxed; it
wasn’t exactly what one expected a demon-lord to say. “I suppose I
should be grateful that you’re aware of your faults. Would you
please open the curtains? I’d like to see what my husband looks
like.”

“No…I’m not
presentable.”

“I can see that
you’re wearing a dressing gown, so I assume you mean your
face?”

“Yes.”

“What’s wrong
with your face?”

“I’ll show you
when you’re ready.”

“And how will
you know when I’m ready?”

The man paused
and took a long deep breath. “You’ll be in love with me.”

Eve’s burst out
laughing; her life was getting stranger by the hour. “You can’t be
serious.”

“I am.”

“Why would you
want me to fall in love with you?”

“You’re my
wife. Why wouldn’t I want you to love me?”

“So you’re not
going to ravish or beat me if I hazard an unfavourable opinion on
the state of your sanity?”

“I wouldn’t
dream of hurting you…” A soft knock on the chamber door announced
the arrival of the maid. “…your wish is my desire…my lady.”

“I desire you
to leave my room my Lord.”

“My Lady.” The
shadow bowed respectfully and then disappeared into the black hole
in the wall which slid shut with a soft click. The whole situation
was absurd. Eve was still laughing at the thought of falling in
love with her demon-husband as the lady’s maid helped her change
her dress and put up her hair. Questions burst into her mind like
fireworks; thankfully Lord Latham appeared quite willing to feed
her curiosity…if she could find him. Her stomach rumbled with
anticipation for breakfast and another strange interview with her
husband.

Adam slumped
onto his bed and railed himself with a stream of whispered curses.
His first meeting with Eve had not gone remotely as planned. She
clearly thought him a lecherous lunatic. He wasn’t sure which hurt
more, being told not to touch her or being laughed at. His mother
was right; he was the biggest romantic fool ever born. His stupid
heart had led him into another patch of trouble. The impulsive
heart, which had compelled him to call out a man he knew could kill
him because the man had ravished a local girl, had compelled him to
wed a stranger named Eve. The local girl had never thanked him for
nearly dying to salvage her disreputable honour and it appeared
unlikely that his wife would thank him for marrying her. The
thought of facing her scorn across the breakfast table wearing his
cursed silly eye patch made him leap off the bed and hoarsely roar
his impotent rage. Why did life have to be so difficult? All he
wanted to do was to take his wife in his arms and cover her with
kisses. Just because he was a stranger didn’t mean he couldn’t win
her over given time and opportunity. Three lazy knocks made him
scowl at the door. He knew that knock. He stomped over to the door
to the hall and yanked it open. “What the devil are you doing here?
I told you to stay away until she falls in love with me.”

His beautiful
baby brother merely blinked in disinterest at the topic and pushed
past him into his bedchamber. “So how did it go last night? You
must be quite a lover old man. I accidentally pressed my ear to her
keyhole and heard the most delicious laughter every few
minutes…”

Adam paled in
horror, she was still laughing at him? “I paid you good money to
keep your pretty face away from home for at least two months. Don’t
tell me you’ve lost all that money on another stupid wager?”

“Mother says
she’ll skin me and feed me to the ravens if I wager another penny.
You know what that means. She’ll marry me off to Cousin Guinevere.
Why couldn’t you marry Guinevere? She thinks you and your eye patch
are to die for. The horrid woman made me sing fifteen pirate songs
before I could escape her the last time Mamma made me call on her.”
The younger man fell onto his brother’s bed and put his hands under
his neck. “So how did it go last night?”

“It didn’t! She
fell asleep before I could introduce myself now go away before she
falls in love with you.”

“No wonder
you’re in a bad mood.”

“I’m not in a
bad mood. Now go away before she sees you.”

“Relax old man;
you’re the wealthy Lord, I’m the penniless fourth son.”

“Yes and she’s
now my wife which means I’ve cracked all my eggs and you’re more
handsome and charming so be kind to me and run away. I’ll be in a
bad mood for life if she falls in love with you.”

“You should
write all this down and turn it into a play. You’re worse than
father; just go tell her you’re in love with her and roll her onto
the bed with sweet nothings. It always works for me.”

Adam rolled his
eyes in irritation. “You’re a genius Luke! I’ll waltz into my
wife’s chamber, throw out my arms in a theatrical gesture of
conquering hero and in a whisper proclaim she owns my heart (even
though we’ve never met making myself look a complete ass) and
demand my conjugal rights. Yes, I’m sure that would win her over.
What woman could resist such stupidity?”

“It’s no more
stupid than the mess you’ve cooked up. I told you to put on your
eye patch and call on her. She probably loves one eyed Lords. For
all you know her favourite doll only had one eye. It’s not like
you’re ugly. Your teeth are still good and I’ve seen dozens of
ladies watch you with admiration.”

“No doubt they
were all whores admiring my purse.”

“Listen old
man, you have got to stop thinking rot. You’re quite pleasant to
look at. So you look silly with an eye patch; so what? At least you
don’t also have a peg leg. Mother is concerned that you’re going to
end up with a broken heart. She thinks you’ve bitten off more than
you can chew if you know what I mean.”

“I’m perfectly
aware of Mother’s concerns.”

“Well if I were
you I’d get a move on and start charming your bride. Mother says
you have two weeks to sort out this mess before she arrives to sort
it out for you. You know what happens when she starts sorting out
problems. You know how she waves her arms about in those ghastly
gestures left over from her playhouse days; she’s likely to
accidentally set your wife alight. I think Father must have been
drunk when he married her.”

“He was in
love; a condition you’ve never suffered, because if you had you
wouldn’t be so smug.”

“Make me feel
my youth; just because I’m only twenty-two doesn’t mean I’m sans
experience of the heart…or at least…”

“As I was
saying…go away and don’t even think about introducing yourself to
my wife. It’s bad enough you put the wedding ring on the wrong
finger. I wanted to punch you.”

“It wasn’t my
fault. I was spellbound by her exceedingly low décolletage. She has
very nice…”

“I don’t want
to hear another man admire my wife, especially not when he’s better
looking. Go and tell Mother to mind her own business or face my
wrath.”

“I’m hungry. I
need some breakfast. I’ll help you break the ice…”

“I think I’ll
have a tray in my room; I can’t bear to hear her laughing at me…not
for another few hours.”

“Don’t be a
fool Adam! You’re not going to win her heart hiding away in your
room.”

“When someone
slashes out one of your eyes and nearly slits your throat then you
can come tell me not to hide in my room, but until then go to the
devil.”

“She probably
thinks you are the devil after all those black cloaks you had us
wear. What did she call you, demon-husband? Mother’s going to laugh
herself sick.”

“I’m so glad my
pain amuses you. Thank you for coming and ruining my day. It was
very thoughtful of you.”

“Don’t be so
stuffy Adam. Just because you haven’t properly introduced yourself
to your wife doesn’t mean I can’t. I’m going to have breakfast with
her and I suggest you join us. The girl needs to know Lathams are
perfectly rational people who can walk in the sunlight without
being turned to stone.”

Adam clenched
his fists and hissed with rage, “Don’t you dare!”

“You know I
can’t resist a dare. Put some clothes on, nothing black, and come
be sensible for half an hour. How can she not like you? There isn’t
anyone who doesn’t like you. Even Great Aunt Vesper likes you; the
horrid witch even hates herself, now stop being an idiot and just
come charm your Lady Latham.”

“Don’t be an
ass…” Adam sat down on the bed next to his brother and hissed his
discomfort. “…there must be hundreds of people who loathe me.”

“Yes, but
they’re stupid so who cares what they think? We’ll be in the formal
dining room where the big windows let in lots of light so she can
see how pleasant you look in the flesh.”

“She’ll think
I’m hideous next to you. I don’t want her to think I’m
hideous…”

“You certainly
aren’t going to win her heart by hiding in your room. I’m going to
tell her you’re coming so if you don’t come you will look
silly.”

“You’re as bad
as Mother.”

“Don’t be
cruel! I’ve never set anyone alight waving around a candle stick
and my schemes, unlike Mother’s, almost always work out in the end.
Just because the last one ended in a phenomenal disaster doesn’t
mean you can’t trust me.”

Adam shuddered
as his heart throbbed in horror. “I neither need nor want your
assistance. Go before I kick you out myself.”

“That wouldn’t
be wise. Your Lady might be looking out a window. She’d think you a
brute instead of the ultra sensitive, caring, knight in shining
chain mail, can’t kill a fly to save your soup sort of man that you
are.” Luke Latham bounced off the bed and rubbed his hands as he
headed for the door. “Come show yourself or you’ll wish you
had.”

“Please leave
before you ruin my life.” His throat ached as he tried to shout
above a whisper. “I’m perfectly capable of wooing of my bride, now
leave.”

“Did you say go
wait for me in the dining room? As you wish! I’ll sit next to my
new sister and leave you the master’s seat opposite where she’ll be
able to see you every time she looks up. I’m sure she’ll be
impressed unless you give her that look you’re giving me.” His baby
brother winked at him, before firmly closing the door. Adam groaned
as his stupid aching heart demanded he put on his eye patch and
join his brother. Was she in her room laughing at him? The thought
caused spasms of discomfort. What could he possibly do to make her
fall in love with him? His mind was an unhelpful blank. He slowly
unbuttoned his dressing gown as he imagined her arms around his
neck as he held her tight. His excited heart commanded him to get
dressed and meet his wife in the sunlight and then slumped against
his ribs and returned to calling, ‘Eve…Eve…Eve…’

Eve was shown
into a small windowless dining room with a small oval table and one
lit candle. She’d just sat down in one of the two chairs when she
heard a loud male voice ring out making her jump. “Where is my new
sister…she can’t eat in the dark; serve us in the formal dining
room and set the table for three…I’ve told my brother…the fool
isn’t going to eat in the dark with his bride. If he refuses to
join us His Lordship can eat on the roof. I’m sure her Ladyship
would like to see what she’s eating, I know I would.” A shadowy
slim figure of a man stopped in the door way. “There’s a well lit
dining room a few minutes away if you’ll follow me.”