The Lies Uncovered Trilogy (Books 4, 5, and 6 of The Dancing Moon Ranch Series) (18 page)

Emily looked at him in alarm, and said, "I didn't expect you until later."

"I just figured that out," Adam replied, while taking a closer look at his surroundings. Although there were no signs of the child, there were signs of a child's presence—a small threadbare blanket on the couch, a tiny wool hat on the floor by the door, a trail of snowy footprints leading to the closed door to the bedroom. Turning to Emily, he said, "Why didn't you tell me you had a child?"

"I'm trying not to involve you," Emily said. "His name is Jesse and he's in the bedroom because he's afraid of men. He won't come out until you leave."

Adam glanced at the door, wondering what kind of cold-hearted bastard Erik really was, that his son would be afraid of him, afraid of all men."

He's a dangerous man...

Adam deliberated on just how dangerous Erik could be. He'd been a smug, full-of-himself SOB in high school, who treated Emily like crap, but he'd never shown a violent side. "Did Erik ever hit you?" he asked.

Emily shook her head. "He had more effective ways of getting me to do what he wanted."

"Effective like what?" Adam asked, knowing he was doing exactly what his father warned against, jumping right back into the mess he'd been in with Emily all through high school. When she just stood there looking at him and saying nothing, he said, "If he never hit you, what did he do to make you think he's dangerous?" It came to Adam that maybe Emily was the unstable one, and paranoia could be the basis of her late night calls years before, and maybe the things she'd told him about Erik only existed in her mind.

"Come into the kitchen where Jesse won't hear us talking," Emily said, then turned and walked away from the closed bedroom door.

Adam wondered about a child who would, of his own accord, close himself in a room. Years before whenever his younger siblings were in trouble and sent to their rooms, they cried and fussed and carried on until they could get out. But to be so afraid that a closed bedroom door meant security was not a pattern of behavior he could relate to.

In the kitchen, he sat at the table, and Emily sat across from him. Her eyes holding painful memories, she told him about an incident with Erik and her son's kitten. "I got rid of the kitten right after that and told Jesse and Erik it got out and ran away. I knew it was only a matter of time before Erik would carry out his threat and then twist things so Jesse would believe Erik had to kill the kitten because I made him do it. That's the way Erik's mind works."

After Adam had taken that in, he said, "Where were you living before you came here?"

"A town just north of Sacramento," Emily replied.

"Hell, Em, we're a straight shot from Sacramento," Adam said. "You should have headed east where you could lose him." He also knew Erik could be there in a day if he decided to come.

"I had no money," Emily said, tears welling. "I signed off everything to Erik when we divorced. The entire time we were married he controlled all of our accounts, including the bank account, and he gave me no money. He claimed he was doing it for my own good because I'd never learned how to run a house because of the way I was raised and that he loved me and wanted to make sure I was always provided for. It was always about how much he loved me. If it hadn't been for a neighbor who suspected something all along, who gave me enough money for bus fare, I couldn't have gotten this far." She lifted a shaking hand to her face and swiped a finger beneath each eye, while Adam resisted the urge to take her in his arms and hold her.

Instead, he got up and paced the floor, while wondering what in the name of all the saints in heaven he could do with her. And her boy. How she'd managed to hike five miles up a mountain with a child was beyond him. Maybe a little too farfetched. But he wouldn't cross examine her now. Nor could he take her back to the ranch, not only because of the reaction from his father and everyone else, but he couldn't jeopardize the family and the ranch guests if Erik showed up.

"I'll give you some money," Adam said, "then you'll have to go to the welfare office and sign up for benefits. But Erik will still have to pay child support. Wasn't it included in your divorce settlement?"

Emily shook her head. "I didn't ask for anything. All I wanted was to be free of him."

Adam looked at a woman stripped of everything, including her self respect, a woman so desperate she made her way through a snowstorm, with a child, to return to a place where everyone viewed her with distrust and bitterness. Even he viewed her that way, but it still didn't stop his deep-rooted feelings for her. And his old protective mechanism was up and running again. "Well, I hope for you and your son's sake that you're finally free of him this time," he said. "Meanwhile, I brought the shotgun and I'll show you how to shoot, then I have to get back and help my dad, unless you want me to stay," he added. A patently stupid idea.

Emily shook her head, and stood. "It's best for you to leave," she said, but he knew from her tone of voice, and the look of expectancy on her face, that she was ambivalent. She'd also left the table and was standing near the hallway, as if guarding the bedroom door.

Adam glanced at the closed door, then at Emily, and said, "If you're worried your son would be afraid of me if I stay, I'd sleep on the couch and keep to myself and let him come to me on his own when he's ready."

Emily shook her head again. "Leaving suddenly the way we did, and riding on a bus when Jesse has rarely been out of the house, he's disturbed and confused. He needs to be away from all men. I'll go in and put him down for a nap and you can show me about the shotgun then."

While Emily was in the bedroom with her son, Adam felt the bitterness rising again, not just because Rick and Sophie had it all, but because, in the end, Erik fathered Emily's son, the one thing Adam thought, when Emily accepted the engagement ring, she'd give to him and him alone. The boy also meant she'd never be rid of Erik, who'd track her down if only to get his son back. But now, as he looked out at snow that continued to fall, he hoped it wouldn't let up, because as long as the roads were a jumble of snowbound vehicles, spinouts and stalls, the less likely it was that Erik would make his way there, and maybe, after a while, he'd lose interest.

While he was waiting for Emily to come out of the bedroom, Adam made several trips to the porch and carried in armloads of wood, which he stacked in an alcove beside the fireplace. He assumed Emily hadn't had a bath since she left California, so he stuffed paper into the old wood boiler beside the sink, threw in several pieces of kindling and a couple of small logs, and struck a match to it. After rolling back the bearskin rug that lay in front of the hearth, he retrieved the tub and set it in front of the fireplace, then tossed a couple of logs on the hearth and hoped Emily would soak in the tub long enough to relax some.

He blocked from his mind the rest of the scenario. He didn't need to be weighed down by thoughts of Emily sitting naked in the tub while he washed her back, and her front, the way he had years before when they were there. The memory of their lovemaking on the bearskin rug just before her bath, and how she looked in the tub afterward, with water cascading over and around her breasts as he squeezed the sponge and let the water trickle where he wanted it, was still as vivid as when it happened, as if the scenes were branded on his mind forever.

The door to the bedroom opened slowly, and after Emily stepped into the hallway she quietly closed the door, then turned and said, "He's finally asleep. I found some picture books on the bookshelf by the fireplace and read to him. He seemed a little warm though, but I think his face is chapped from the cold. It was a long hike up here."

"He walked?" Adam asked, still questioning how Emily managed to hike five miles through a snowstorm on her own, much less with a child."

"I carried him in a pack on my back," Emily said. "He slept most of the way."

Adam couldn't help but marvel at what she'd done. Emily might be a fickle mess when it came to men, but she was devoted to her son, which had to count for something.

She glanced at the tin tub in front of the fireplace then looked at him with curiosity, and said, "Why is that there?"

"I thought you'd want a bath, since you probably haven't had one since you got here," Adam replied. "The water boiler's heating up right now."

Emily stared at the tub, saying nothing, but from the faraway look in her eyes Adam knew she was remembering. Then her face became thoughtful, and she said, "A bath would be nice, and the little tub is comfortable. I remember."

"So do I," Adam said, looking steadily at her.

"That's not what I meant," Emily said. "I meant..." She waved her hand as if erasing her words, and said, "After I bathe, I'll wash Jesse too. Thank you for doing this."

Wanting to get off the subject of Emily in the tub and the image it brought, Adam said, "Come out on the porch and I'll show you how to load and operate the shotgun."

Emily followed him outside, and after Adam pointed out the parts of the gun, and made sure she understood the importance of holding it tight against her shoulder if she needed to shoot, he demonstrated how to load it then let her dry fire a few times, all done with a minimum of physical contact. After that they went back inside, where Adam checked the boiler and prepared to fill the tub before heading back to the ranch.

As he dumped the first bucket of hot water into the tub, he said, "How old is your son?"

Emily, who had her ear to the bedroom door, listening for sounds coming from inside, looked at him with a start, as if unprepared for the question. But then she shrugged almost imperceptibly, and said, "He'll be three in April."

Adam made a quick calculation between the last time he was with her and an April birthday for her son, then eyed her dubiously, and said, "When you married Erik you must have gotten pregnant right away." Like the same week he and Emily made love for the last time, he thought cynically. When Emily didn't reply, but just stood staring at him, like she had no idea how to respond, he crossed his arms, looked at her steadily, and said, "Tell me something, Em. When you were engaged to me, did you ever feel anything?" Shit! Tears were coming. "Okay, we'll put it behind," he said. "Forget I said it."

"I can't forget it because it never leaves my mind," Emily replied. "Marrying Erik was the biggest mistake I ever made, and not a day goes by that I don't regret it, and what I did to you. Maybe someday I can try to explain how it was because I only recently began to understand it myself. It was like being trapped in a cult, the way it was with Erik. I didn't understand any of it until I got to the library and looked up sociopath on the internet and realized I was married to one. It all made sense then, and I knew I had to get away. But even then Erik still messed with my mind, almost convincing me I was an unfit mother for breaking up the family."

"So he got the restraining order," Adam said, while wondering why a Green Beret would need a restraining order against a woman who barely tipped the scales at a 120 pounds, but he didn't intend to cross examine her at the moment, or try to figure out what the ramification of a restraining order against her meant, though he had a gut feeling he'd find out before long.

He dumped a bucket of cool water from the sink into the tub and swished his hand around to test the water. On turning, he was surprised to find Emily right behind him, not more than a breath away. He looked down at her and said nothing, just stood staring at a face that had haunted him for years. He could even understand the concept of being trapped in a cult. For years he'd felt like that with Emily, being connected to her in an unhealthy way because he was never her focus. It was always Erik, except for their seven-month engagement, when he slipped a ring on Emily's finger and thought Erik was out of her life for good.

Emily put her hands on his chest and looked up, and said, "Can you ever forgive me?"

Adam started to reach for her shoulders, but knowing the danger that held, left his arms at his sides as he said, "Yeah, Em, I can forgive you. I'll also help you out of this mess. But after that, you'll need to take control of your life because I won't be a part of it."

"I know," Emily said. "I just want to see you smile again. Then I'll be happy."

Adam wanted to give her that wish, but the smile wouldn't come. Taking her by the shoulders, he moved her aside, and said, "I'll be back in a day or two. Meanwhile, keep the shotgun on the mantel, and if Erik shows up and threatens you in any way, aim for his heart. You won't get a second chance." Shoving his hat on his head he left, thoughts of staying with Emily for the night, and the rest of his life, burrowing into his mind like a wood tick that refused to let go. But he would free himself of her someday. It just wouldn't be now.

CHAPTER 3

Emily dipped the washcloth into the warm water and dragged it over her face, and down her neck, and held it up so water trickled across her chest and between her breasts. She leaned against the back of the tub and imagined Adam's hands on her. His hands had been magic. He'd loved her in a way that was all about her, as if satisfying her was his goal.

She refused to think about the way Erik loved, and when thoughts of his demands surfaced, she shoved them back into the darkest recesses of her mind and replaced them with thoughts of Adam. But she also had to accept the reality of what Adam told her. He'd help her out of this mess, but then she'd be on her own. That was the way it had to be, and she accepted it.

Still, as she leaned against the sloped back of the tin tub she couldn't help but imagine Adam on his knees beside her, bending over her like he had. They'd made love for the first time, and afterward, he filled the tub with warm water and told her he wasn't done yet. She'd thought all he intended to do was wash her off, but after he finished soaping her, he went on to explore and caress and bring her to a climax that excluded him, but put that wonderful smile on his face.

"Mommy!"
A frantic little voice came from the direction of the bedroom.

"I'm here, honey," Emily called out. Standing abruptly, and sending a splash of water over the rim of the tub, she reached for the towel and quickly dried, then slipped into her sweats and a sweatshirt and went to get Jesse.

She found him sitting in the middle of the bed with his arms out for her to pick him up. "There's a bath ready for you," she said, as she carried him into the living room. "There's even a yellow ducky here who needs a bath." She'd found the little duck under the couch when she was looking for Jesse's shoes, and set it on the mantel for the time when she'd take on the job of heating up the boiler and filling the tub. A little frisson of warmth curled inside her as the image of the man who'd done it for her emerged in her mind.

Retrieving the duck, she handed it to Jesse, who was propped against her hip, and for the first time in weeks he looked at her, and smiled. "Oh honey," she said, closing her arms around him. "I'll get you out of this and you'll get to know your real daddy, but not yet."

She knew Jesse had no idea what she was talking about, but hoped some of it would sink in. The day would come when he'd meet a father who'd be everything Erik was not, but before then, Adam would need a clear understanding of exactly what kind of man Erik had become, and what he was capable of doing. She had no doubt Adam would underestimate Erik's abilities because Adam was a big strong man who'd be no match for most men his size. But Erik was not most men. He was more like an automaton, something without heart or feeling, programmed to carry out a mission, and Erik's mission was to destroy her and take her son.

Jesse, seeing the tub filled with water, leaned way over. Reaching out a little hand he curled it around the duck, and said, "I wash ducky."

"Yes honey," Emily said. "You can give Mr. Ducky a bath." Stripping off Jesse's clothes, she lowered him into the tub, and after washing him well, she let him play in the water as free as he wanted, and before long, he was splashing and laughing and sending water over the side and droplets against Emily's face, which made her laugh too, a giddy kind of laugh because, for the first time since Jesse was born, she wasn't watching over her shoulder for Erik.

She was thankful Jesse was out of night diapers and willing to use an old pot she'd found under the cabin. But after he was ready for bed, she handed him a picture book, and said, "Honey, Mommy's going to the outside potty. You stay here and look at the pictures in the book and I'll be right back."

Jesse looked up at her, and said, "Mommy, go potty."

Emily kissed Jesse on the cheek and left the cabin, then followed the trampled-down, snowy path to the outhouse. But as she was returning to the cabin, there came a scream unlike anything she'd ever heard, and it was close, perhaps no more than a hundred feet away. A gut wrenching kind of fear gripped her and she quickened her pace. As she mounted the porch steps, the sound came again, like fingernails on a chalkboard. Yanking open the door she rushed inside and quickly bolted the latch. Glancing at the shotgun, she took it off the mantel and tried to remember everything Adam told her about loading and shooting.

She had no idea what kind of animal could make such blood-curdling sounds, but from now on all trips to the outhouse would be accompanied by the shotgun, if she dared even go out again.

***

The moment Adam caught sight of his mother crossing the grounds from the lodge to the stables, in long determined strides, he knew she'd seen him returning from the mountain cabin, and that his father had told her about Emily, which she affirmed as soon as Adam dismounted.

"What is Emily thinking, coming here after what happened?" Grace said, trailing along with Adam as he led Max into the stables. "We don't need a showdown between her and her husband here on the ranch."

"Erik doesn't know she's here," Adam said, hastily going about the task of removing the saddle, wanting to end what was certain to be a dissertation on the merits of waiting until the right woman came along, and Emily was definitely not the right woman.

"Why is she here?" Grace asked, a definite edge to her tone.

"Like I told Dad, she has no place to go." Adam lifted the saddle and pad off the horse and went into the tack room, taking an inordinate amount of time to check the saddle pad for burrs or twigs, anything to bide a little more time. He was definitely not ready for this conversation with his mother, or anyone else at the ranch.

"Well, she's not your responsibility," Grace said, while standing in the doorway to the tack room. "I stopped by the women's shelter in McMinnville and they said they have an opening and Emily could come there."

Adam turned and faced his mother squarely, and said, "You shouldn't have done that, Mom. Emily asked me not to tell anyone. I told Dad in confidence."

"I see no reason why she can't go there," Grace said, trailing behind Adam as he returned to the horse. "But one thing I know for sure, she doesn't belong here. You do plan to send her away, don't you, Adam?"

"Look, I'll take care of it in my own way," Adam said.

"Which has not been very good in the past," Grace reminded him. "The last thing you need is Emily in and out of your life again."

Adam grabbed a curry comb and started dragging it over the horse. "She has a son and I'm not sending her away. She'll be staying in the cabin until I find a place for her."

"You're getting involved with her again, aren't you?" Grace said. "You're being as foolish about this woman as you've always been. It's like an obsession with you. I've seen it over the years and so has your father."

Adam sucked in a long breath to keep from telling his mother that he was a man now, and he didn't need advice about what to do with his life, whether it included Emily or not. But if he didn't put the skids on things, his mother and everyone else on the ranch would be on his back until Emily was gone. "She'll only be at the cabin until the snow stops," he said, "and while she's there I'm going to try to find a place for her to live and get her a job. And I have no intention of getting involved with her again so you can put that to rest."

Grace looked at him, guardedly. "How did she get to the cabin in the first place? Did you pick her up somewhere and take her there?"

Adam walked around to the other side of the horse and looked at his mother over its back, and said, "She hiked in," which he realized, as soon as he said it, would raise more questions he didn't want to answer, mostly because they'd be questions he couldn't answer because even Emily didn't have the answers. That's the way it had always been with her. Sometimes he'd wondered if that was why he'd been fixated on her, because he could never figure her out, and after time, it had become a challenge and a way of life. Love Emily for too many reasons to list, but don't get involved with her romantically, for far more reasons to list.

"She didn't hike in through the ranch," Grace said, while peering at him over the back of the horse. "The road here wasn't even plowed until yesterday."

"She came in from the other direction," Adam replied, while slipping off the bridle.

"It's over five miles," Grace said. "She couldn't possibly have done that with a child."

"Don't underestimate Emily," Adam said. "She hiked in during the snowstorm, with her son in a pack on her back, and she'd already been at the cabin two days when I found her." As he said the words, he couldn't help but feel a certain amount of admiration for Emily, even while he tried to hold onto his resolve to keep his distance, a resolve that was quickly crumbling.

His mother eyed him steadily, in the way that used to make him squirm when he was a kid, and said, "All I can say is, before you get further involved you'd better give this thing with Emily long careful thought."

"I doubt if I'll need to do that, Mom, because I'm sure every adult on the place will take care of it for me, along with giving me instructions on how to get my head out the sand." He took his horse and led him to his stall, knowing it was just the beginning of the kind of a diatribe he'd be hearing from everyone on the place from now until Emily was out of his life, for good.

The problem was, when he left her at the cabin the day before, that was exactly what he wanted, but after seeing her today he wasn't so sure. But the one thing he did know, he wouldn't turn his back on Emily and her son, no matter what she'd done to him in the past, and the adults on this ranch might as well get used to the idea.

***

Adam spent the next two days with his younger brothers, Ryan, Josh and Jeremy, rounding up stock and mending fences taken down by snow-laden limbs, but by the middle of the third day he was concerned about Emily being in the cabin alone with her son, and decided to ride up and make sure she was okay. His father said nothing more about her, and Adam hoped he'd set the whole thing aside. But the reality was, his father was mulling it over, but it was far from being shelved.

Adam's initial plan was to ride up to the cabin and check on Emily and be back for dinner with the family, but at the last minute, he told Tyler, his youngest brother, that he had some things to do at the cabin and might be late, and to pass the message on to their dad, and for their mom not to hold dinner. He had no idea what those
things
were, only that he didn't want to be tied to a time frame if he needed to stay longer.

The operative word this time was needed. Emily had been back in his life for two days, and already thoughts of her consumed him. All the details of a face he'd tried to hold onto over the years were clear now, and she was again vulnerable because of Erik, and he was preoccupied with taking care of her and making sure she was safe. It was a driving need with him.

But before heading up the mountain, he wanted to talk to the one person on the ranch whose advice had always been sound…

He found his grandmother standing on a low step ladder, filling bird feeders. "Grandma," he called out. "Get off the ladder. Maddy's supposed to do that."

On seeing Adam coming, Maureen Hansen's face broke into a smile. "Maddy's at a sleepover," she said, "and the rest of you boys have been out chasing stock and my birds are hungry."

Adam took the birdseed scooper from his grandmother, offered his hand to help her down, and walked with her to her house. "Do you have a minute to talk?" he asked.

"Of course," Maureen replied. "Come on inside and I'll put on a pot of coffee."

"I'm not staying that long," Adam said. "I'm heading up to the cabin to take care of a few things."

Maureen peered up at him over the rims of her glasses. "A few things, like Emily?"

"So you heard," Adam said, wondering what would come next. It wouldn't be the usual discourse though. His grandmother didn't operate that way.

Maureen sat on a bench on the porch and pulled off her boots and set them by the door, then went inside in her stocking feet, and Adam did the same. As far back as he could remember, no one entered Grandma's house in anything but socks. "You're here for a reason," she said. "I can tell from the look on your face. I assume it's about Emily."

"It shows that much?" Adam said.

Maureen nodded. "It shows. Sit down."

Adam lowered himself to the couch and waited for his grandmother to continue. After she'd tucked her feet into a pair of fleece-lined slippers and settled in her favorite chair, she said, "I watched you with Emily during the time you were engaged, and heard all about what was going on when you were in high school, and the problem you're having is almost a genetic trait with Hansen men, something I've concluded after living around the bunch of you half my life."

She paused as she always did when she wanted to get his full attention, then continued.

"The thing of it is, Hansen men love deeply, and they love forever. Your grandfather was like that, and you're so much like him it's uncanny. You look like him the way he was when I first met him, and you sound like him with the same deep resonant quality to your voice, and I see so many of his mannerisms in the way you move, yet they couldn't have come from him because he was gone before you were born. It's almost like he's here guiding you, so it has to be genetic. But this relationship you've had with Emily over the years, it's typical of a Hansen man when he decides he's found his one true love, so you'll do what you have to do."