The Light in the Wound (15 page)

I arrived from Canada two weeks before school started to a gorgeous guy waiting at the airport gate and clutching a bouquet of flowers. My heart soared and I took in that scintillating smile as he rushed over to me and swept me off my feet. We didn’t care that people were watching. Jesse kissed me ferociously, grabbed the back of my head and leaned me against one of the pillars that separated the airport gates. A few breathless minutes later, he finally set me down and we held hands as we walked toward baggage claim.

“You’re wearing a skirt. You look beautiful.”

I smiled at him lovingly. I hoped he wasn’t mad about my outfit.

“Is Bernard here?” I asked. My left arm entwined with his right while I clutched my flowers with the other hand.

“Yup, he’s already down there picking up your luggage. How was it, Iss? How’s your mom?”

“She’s okay, a little bit disappointed with her life right now. I think she regrets leaving.”

“Will she be coming back then?”

“Not sure. Who knows? Hey Jess, how was your summer? Did you get everything you needed to get done in time for the start of school?”

“Yeah, more or less. They convinced me to run for SC President again and this time with Katrina Edwards as my running mate.”

“Oh.”

Katrina Edwards: tall, hot blond, former cheerleader, smart Engineering graduate, student activist.

“I think I’m going to do it.”

“That’s great, Jess.”
What’s one more gorgeous fawning female to deal with?

We made our way to baggage claim, only to find Bernard already packing up the car with my suitcases. “Holy cow, what did you bring back?” Jesse teased as he opened the car door for me and I slid in first. He saddled up next to me with a big smile on his face. I realized then and there how much I missed him.

“I know, my mom bought me a few things.”

We arrived at the house and stayed briefly while I gave instructions to the maids to put away my belongings. I had gotten Jess a few things, clothes mostly and some little souvenirs I picked up to show him how much I thought of him while I was away. He asked me to pack an overnight bag and informed me that he had his brother’s car for the weekend. He was taking me to a friend’s vacation home in the mountains, about an hour away from the city. The drive was nice and relaxing and I was as talkative as ever. That’s the one thing about having been with the same person for five years. He knew everything about everybody — aunts and uncles, weird family members, sisters, relatives, friends. He listened the whole time, turning to me once in a while to flash me that killer smile.

The vacation home was a massive split-level, with glass walls overlooking the volcano and a surrounding bright blue-colored lake.

“Who owns this house, Jess?” I asked. “It’s so beautiful here.”

“My brother’s girlfriend’s family owns it. She offered it to me knowing that you’d be arriving home this weekend,” he answered, as we walked from the driveway into the house.

“It was so nice of them to do this for us.”

I was looking out the window as he put the bags down and hugged me from behind. “I missed you so much, Isabel. I didn’t know how I was going to survive without touching you for two whole months. Did you miss me as much as I missed you?” His voice was becoming urgent as he pressed against me and held me tightly.

I turned my head to the side and gave him access to my mouth. “Oh babe, you just don’t know how much.”

“How much, Iss? Tell me. I want to watch while you show me how much you missed me.”

He unbuttoned my blouse and lifted my bra up to expose my breasts. He angled us so that we could see our reflections through the glass in the middle of the clear blue lake. He lifted my skirt up, took my hand and slipped it inside my panties. “Let me watch you, Iss. Make yourself come for me. I’ve thought about you doing this while we were apart. Did you? Did you do this?” he hissed.

“Yes. Oh yes.” We rocked back and forth until I felt myself coming from my touch, while he watched me intently. As I stared at his reflection, I reached behind me, unzipped his jeans and pressed him against my back. He knew what to do after that. With my palms and my breasts pressed against the glass, he bent his knees and entered me from behind.

His movements were urgent, strong … almost violent. He pinched my breasts and bit my shoulder. Moments later, I was on my knees as he continued to take me on the floor. He let out a deep groan as I felt him pulsating inside of me. He pulled me down to lean on him as he rested his back against the glass wall. He held me like that for quite some time until I felt him stir inside me again. This time it was my turn to show him just how much I missed him.

We spent the rest of the evening talking, playing backgammon and going for a swim. Jesse patiently stayed up with me throughout the night, knowing that I was wide awake from jet lag. We talked, we laughed, and we held hands while watching television in bed. Jesse animatedly described the game plan for his campaign, while I swooned at the sound of his voice, grateful to be loved by someone who included me in his long-term plans for a successful life.

We were both up early the next day, knowing we had to head back to town. I opened my eyes to find him facing me as he watched me sleep. “Hey.” I smiled.

“Hi,” he sighed, “I don’t want to leave yet.”

I sat up on the bed and leaned down to pick my sleep shirt up from the floor. He reached out to turn me back toward him and gently pushed me down under the covers. “Not yet. Let’s stay in bed for a while longer,” he whispered, as he caressed my face. “You’re so beautiful, even more when you just wake up. You look like an angel when you’re sleeping peacefully.” He kissed me.

“I’m only peaceful with you, Jess. You’re my reward for everything I’ve had to endure in my life.”

Except for the sound of our breathing, we were both completely silent.

“Jess?” I turned around so he could pull me closer to him.

“Hmmm?” he asked as he pressed himself to me.

“What do you think will happen to us after college? What if things change between us? Do you think we’ll make it?”

He paused for a moment. “We’ll make sure we make it,” he declared.

“Oh, I don’t know. There are just so many girls.” I shifted my position so he could wrap his arms tightly around me.

“There are going to be girls, Iss. Just like there are lots of guys. You have them hovering around you when I’m not there. We just have to trust that we love each other enough not to get caught up in all that. Turn around, Iss. Look at me.” And as he said this I turned to him so that our noses were touching and his legs were wrapped around mine. “I love you. That’s never going to change.”

“I love you, Jess. I’m scared because I don’t have anyone else but you.”

“You’ll always have me, Issy,” he whispered as his lips touched mine and I fell for him completely.

Jesse drove me home that afternoon and left to attend another one of his many campaign strategy meetings. And although he called me every night, it was clear to me that I wouldn’t be seeing him until our first day of school. That day, I chanced upon him as I walked alongside the field on the way to my 2:00 P.M. class. He sat on a bench and seemed to be in a deep and serious conversation with Katrina Edwards. I was running late, so I tried to get his attention to wave at him. Out of nowhere, I saw her lift her hand to comb back some bangs that had fallen over his eyes. I had to do a double take. I’d seen many girls touch him before, but not in such an affectionate way. He shook his head and persisted with the conversation as she nodded hers in agreement. I continued to walk away in a little bit of shock, but resolved to park the issue until I got a chance to ask him about it in person. Later on that afternoon, Jesse left me a message to meet him at the Student Center so we could grab some dinner together. He was in the middle of a meeting, going over some last minute notes. I decided to sit outside the office while waiting for him to finish. My phone rang. It was Alex.

“Hi, it’s me.”

“Hi, A! How are you?”

“I’m good. Just wanting to check in. How was your flight back home?”

“It was good, actually. I watched all seven movies, can you believe that?”

“Really? Were they even any good?” We both laughed.

“I don’t even remember half of them.” I giggled.

“Listen, I wanted to know if I can stop by to say hi sometime this week,” he asked, somewhat hesitant.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Katrina Edwards and two friends walking out of the bathroom. She was loud and giggly, so engrossed in her conversation that she didn’t see me.

“Well, she’s back now, so I don’t know how that’s going to work ...” she exclaimed excitedly to one of her friends. I sat straight up on the chair, knocking my purse to the floor and spilling all of its contents.

I forgot that I still had Alex on the line.

“Isabel, are you still there? Is Jesse with you? Will you just text me later to let me know?”

I placed the phone down next to me as I frantically gathered my things to throw back into my purse.

“Oh! Sorry, A, got sidetracked by something. Yes, I’m waiting for Jesse to get out of his meeting. I’m still learning this texting thing but will let you know when I’m home after school sometime this week. See ya!”

I threw my phone in my purse and walked into the meeting room. I needed to get out of there.

Jesse smiled when he saw me, packed his bag and rushed to give me a quick kiss as he took hold of my hand. “Hi, let’s go.”

We decided to eat at the taco place across the street from the school. Jesse was free for an hour before he had to attend another meeting, this time with his professor for a project that he was working on. He laughed heartily, as he watched me grab some napkins to wipe down our seat before sliding into the booth. “It’s okay, Princess. This place is pretty clean.”

The conversation I overheard with Katrina Edwards gave me a dreadful feeling in my stomach. I wanted to cry, but I didn’t know what I should be crying about. I was quiet for most of dinner, but I couldn’t help but smile at his jokes, especially because he constantly teased me about being out of my element. His warmth and attentiveness gave me permission to push my worries to the back of my mind.
Why ruin our moment together when I hardly ever get to see him?

“We cannot change the cards we are dealt.

Just how we play the hand.”

—Randy Pausch

By the time I arrived home after dinner, Alex was already waiting for me at the house. I gave him a quick hug and asked him to come sit with me on the front porch. He took out a pack of Marlboro Lights, handed me a cigarette and leaned over to light it up for me.

“Does he even know that you smoke?” he asked with an amused look on his face.

“Are you kidding me? He’s the superstar baseball athlete. He hates this stuff. I can’t tell him.”

“Why do you do it, then?” he asked somberly.

“Because it’s one of the things that I have left of the old me ... anyway ... what’s up? You didn’t come here just to ask me about my smoking, did you?”