The Light of the Blue Pearl (15 page)

She was glad she was okay but she really
didn’t feel like talking about seizures anymore, it was probably
her least favorite subject.

“So now our obvious concern is why you have
had a seizure after having such a long gap since your last,” he
said, staring down at his notes again.

“Did you take your medication last night?”
he asked, looking up at her.

She tried to think. Her days all ran into
one another, especially when Scott was with her. She often found
herself barely thinking about things like that, though she was
still usually pretty meticulous about it. She knew it was important
to take them, and obviously staying seizure free was a top
priority.

Still, she was having a hard time
remembering if she had taken it the night before.

“I’m not sure, it’s possible I forgot,” she
said.

“Hmmm…well in that case, maybe this is just
a minor hiccup and we can get you back to your old self in no time
at all. Of course…,” he said, pausing with some news he knew she
wouldn’t like to hear. “This does mean I can’t let you drive for at
least three months.”

“Oh,” she said. She hadn’t even thought of
that, but she of all people knew why. “Okay,” was all she could
add.

“Don’t worry about that for now,” Scott
said, winking at her.

Normally, she would have considered that
wink incredibly cute; right now however, she was not in the mood
for cute.

She tried to give him a small smile though;
it wasn’t his fault any of this was happening after all.

After the doctor had left, Scott helped her
get dressed and wheeled her back to the car, once again making her
feel like a total idiot…at work.

No one had noticed her this time, which was
actually a comfort.

They didn’t talk much on the drive back; he
looked over at her a few times, but could tell she wasn’t in the
mood for chatting just yet.

He had left notice he wouldn’t be working
that night and snuggled her in on the couch after arriving
home.

Cozy in her blanket, he brought her some tea
and sat close by, but not too close, he was obviously unsure of
where they stood now.

Finally, she spoke to him after taking a sip
of tea. “Scott, I’m so sorry about what I said earlier. I’m never
quite myself after a seizure, I remember that much even though it’s
been a while.”

“It’s okay,” he said. “I understand.”

He took one of her hands, she only
marginally let him.

“I haven’t changed my mind though, Scott,”
she said, knowing this news was going to hit him as hard as it was
hitting her.

“Ethne,” he said, almost breathless. “Don’t
do this. It was one time, just…give it time, please?”

“I don’t know if I can, Scott,” she said,
pulling her hand away and doing her best to keep the tears from
falling, she really didn’t want to cry. “I want to – but today just
brought it all back again, I don’t want to put you through this…if
it isn’t just one time, well…I don’t want to put you through
this.”

He sat there looking stunned, like he had
just been struck by the lightening that was meant to hit her
again.

She felt awful. All she wanted to do was let
him hold her. She was terrified what today might mean, she didn’t
want to go back to that life. She didn’t want to feel like a time
bomb just waiting to go off.

Maybe the doctor was right. Maybe she had
just messed up, for all she knew she had missed more than one dose.
The last few months had gone by quickly as if she were in a
daze.

She had been so happy; it was completely
possible that some nights maybe it slipped her mind.

All the more reason to not be with him right
now though, she needed to make sure she stayed on top of things,
couldn’t risk the distraction being the detriment.

“Scott,” she said, trying to get him to look
at her again. “Please try to understand?”

“Oh, I understand, Ethne.” His tone was
almost bitter, though she knew he didn’t mean it to be. “I just
think you’re making a mistake,” he said, finally looking up at her.
“I don’t want you to be alone right now. I want to help you get
through this – I want to be there for you. Can’t you let me?”

This time she thought maybe he was right.
She was a little scared to be alone now; she hated the idea of him
seeing her like that. But being alone, if something happened, was
even more terrifying to her.

She hadn’t had to worry about that recently
since she had been symptom free for so long. It was almost like a
past life, a nemesis that was back now in the forefront ready to
torment her again.

“I don’t know, Scott,” she said, this time
not making him let go. “I want to; I don’t want you to leave.”

“Good then,” he said, relaxing a little, but
not completely. “I’m staying.”

“At least for the night,” she said. “Let me
think about it, but no matter what I decide I hope you’ll be able
to respect it.”

“We’ll see,” he said, smiling at her
obviously trying to bribe her with that cute grin of his, which
usually worked.

He pulled her close to him letting her head
rest on his shoulder. Her knees were curled up so tightly she
looked like a tiny little ball, a scared little child just wanting
to be told that everything was going to be alright. She felt like a
scared little child again. She hadn’t really wanted to feel that
way anymore; she felt safe with Scott and that was a nice
feeling.

It wasn’t long before she was sleeping
soundly, Scott holding her with no intention of letting go.

T
he next morning
she woke suddenly; but instead of finding herself still curled up
in Scott’s arms, she was alone tucked into her bed.

The phone was ringing off the hook and
forced her to leave her warm cocoon in order to make it stop.

“Hello?” she asked, realizing quickly how
nice her cocoon truly bad been.

“Hello, Ethne?” said the voice on the other
end.

“Aunt Katherine?” Ethne asked.

“Yes, it’s me sweetie, I heard about your
ordeal yesterday, I wanted to make sure you were alright?”

“Oh, yeah…that, I’m alright, how did you
find out about it?”

“Your friend called me, Scott is it?” she
asked.

“Yeah, Scott,” she said, wondering two
things, how he knew about her aunt and where he had gotten her
number.

Actually, three things, where was Scott?

He had practically begged her to stay last
night, she never thought he would have just up and left her without
saying a word.

Just then Scott came through the front door
carrying something in a bag and two cups of coffee.

“Listen, thanks for calling. I can’t talk at
the moment, can I call you later?” she asked.

“Sure, sure, hun. I’m glad to hear you are
okay, let me know if you need anything.”

“I will,” Ethne said, before hanging up and
turning toward the man bringing her treats.

“Good morning,” he said, walking over and
giving her a hug and a kiss.

“Morning,” she said.

“What are you doing up?” he asked.

She shrugged her shoulders innocently. “The
phone was ringing,” she said, before slowly making her way back to
her bed.

“You should have let it ring,” he said.

“I will next time,” she said. While it had
been sweet of her aunt to check in on her she really didn’t feel
like talking to anyone about it at the moment, or ever really.

She was feeling out of sorts, like she had
just been swimming in the Blue Hole for hours on end. Why that
comparison had just come to mind she had no idea, but nonetheless
it was there and she was exhausted.

Her arms were tired; her legs were tingling,
almost as a punishment to her for being on them when they didn’t
want to be. Her brain was only partially aware of her surroundings,
preferring instead to be back asleep in her cozy cocoon.

She wondered how she had gotten there; she
had no memory of him moving her.

As she lay back down, he helped pull up all
of the blankets to tuck her in.

“Thank you,” she said.

“You’re very welcome,” he said, smiling at
her and kissing her forehead.

“What did you bring me?” she asked, only
marginally caring through her tired haze.

“I brought you some warm milk, and a
croissant,” he said, putting the bag and cups down on her
nightstand. “I didn’t know if you’d be hungry or not, and I can
certainly go make something else if you’d prefer?”

“What time is it?” she asked, suddenly
realizing she didn’t have a clue.

“It’s about four o’clock,” he said.

“Wow, four? I was out a while,” she said,
starting to eyeball the little bag he had brought.

He followed her gaze and laughed. “A little
hungry then?”

“A little,” she said, taking the pastry from
him and nibbling on it.

He sat down next to her and ate his own
while taking slow contemplative sips of his drink, which she could
smell was not warm milk.

Had she been more awake she might have been
jealous, but the warm milk actually sounded good to her.

“You look pretty sleepy still, I think you
should rest some more,” he said.

“Yeah, I will,” she said, drinking a little
more of the milk before setting it on the table and lying down
again.

“Don’t you need to get to work?” she asked,
barely turning her head to look at him.

“No, I called in sick,” he said.

“Scott, you don’t have to stay with me, you
can’t keep missing work because of me; they need you.”

“You need me more, and I have no problem
staying,” he said. “Now try to sleep and don’t worry about anything
else.”

As she closed her eyes she felt his hands
lightly massaging her back, within seconds she was in a dark abyss
far away from her home in San Francisco.

***

She had absolutely no idea how long she had
been asleep that time when she woke up, but it was dark outside.
Scott was lying next to her fast asleep. She lifted her head a
little to look at the time and saw that it was 3 a.m.

Her stomach growled and she knew she would
have to appease it before she had a chance of getting any more
rest.

She slipped out of the covers as quietly as
she could so she wouldn’t wake him and made her way to the kitchen.
She turned the lights down low not really wanting to be jolted back
into the world of the living just yet.

On the counter was a box.

She shook her head; the man was lying in her
bed asleep and was still delivering her boxes.

Opening it, she found a little note and a
small white box, of the jewelry variety.

“Hi, sleepyhead,” the note said. “I made you
some soup, it’s in the fridge and there is some bread on the
counter, please come and wake me.”

She had no intention of doing so, it was
really late and he had had quite a time as well worrying and
fussing over her. It made her feel incredibly guilty.

Putting the note on the counter she picked
up the little white box.

Slowly opening it she saw a necklace inside,
nothing hugely elaborate, but a modest silver chain with a delicate
butterfly pendant.

She smiled instantly at the gesture, though
the circumstances made her smile fade almost as quickly as it had
come.

It was a very sweet gift, all of his
attentions had been so; she only wished it had happened for a
different reason.

She slipped the pendant back into the box
and closed the lid and gently laid it back down on the counter.

Peering into the fridge with the light
shining down on her bare legs she pulled the bowl of soup out and
closed the door.

While she was starving, she was feeling
really tired again and just wanted to be back in bed. She quickly
heated up the soup, grabbed some of the bread and made her way back
to her room.

She climbed into bed as quietly as she could
and pulled the covers over her, waiting a moment for the goose
bumps to leave.

As she ate her soup and the bread that Scott
had made for her she watched him sleep, watched each peaceful
breath that escaped his lips. She wanted to kiss those lips but
didn’t want to wake him, so she refrained and instead lay back down
next to him, wishing she was snuggled in his arms again.

It wasn’t long before she was dreaming.

***

Sitting in the sand, alone, Ethne watched
the waves making their dedicated trip to and from the beach, each
crashing sound filling her with a sense of calm.

She closed her eyes and let the sun soak
into her skin knowing she would have to turn back soon. Feeling the
sand through her fingers she sifted it in a rhythm that matched the
waves.

With her eyes still closed she felt in her
fingertips something larger than specks of sand and looked down to
see a stunning blue pearl in the palm of her hand.

***

Suddenly, she was awake again, brought back
in an instant to her life far from the sands of San Pedro. She woke
feeling sadness that it had only been a dream, and that her pearl
would never again be in the palm of her hand.

She felt the emptiness there before looking
over and once again finding Scott gone.

This time it was only 10 a.m., she hadn’t
slept the entire afternoon away, and she was actually starting to
feel a little more herself.

She could hear Scott in the kitchen making
only as much noise as was necessary, which in a kitchen you don’t
know that well, was actually quite a lot.

Sitting up she tested the stability of her
head; she had been feeling quite…groggy since the seizure, like her
head was involuntarily swimming.

It was feeling better though so she swung
her legs over the side of the bed and made her way out to the
kitchen to see what her clumsy chef was up to.

Walking down the hall she remembered the
necklace, she wasn’t sure what she was going to say about that.
They hadn’t been dating that long and she was pretty sure, though
it was small, that the butterfly had diamonds on it.