The Lonely Girl (15 page)

“What, Jakey?”

He turns to me. “Well, Becca, I think we got Keegan’s blessing, but it’s still odd to think about. I’m glad though. I couldn’t be with anyone who wouldn’t accept that you’re a huge part of my life and always will be.” I hate the idea of another older brother meddling in my life, but Jake’s not like that.

“Jake, I’m glad too. I think Keegan and I are going to be okay. I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t understand what we have together. I will always be your best friend and sister. I promise.” Using his words back to
him, make him tear up.

“Becca, I thought I’d lost you when I saw you
lying there. Well, I won’t tell you everything but I didn’t know if you were going to make it. I punched Keegan in the face and told him this was all his fault. If he hadn’t kissed Sarah you would have never kissed me. If none of that had happened you wouldn’t have taken off alone. I’d have been with you. When they said only one person could ride with you in the ambulance I jumped in and left Alec just standing there. Seeing you in my jersey in the state you were in made me feel so helpless. I’m just so glad you’re okay. Don’t you ever do that to me again.”

The nurse comes in and gives me some pain meds. Once she’s gone, I turn and put my head on his chest, and we just lay there like we have so many nights before this.

“Thank you for always saving me, Jake. I love you.” With that, my eyes get heavy, and I fall asleep.

We are woken up by someone clearing their throat. I open my eyes and see two police officers staring at us.

“Hello, Ms. Potts. We’ve come to talk to you about the incident. I asked your family and friends not to talk to you about it until we saw you. What do you remember?”

I still haven’t been able to figure that out. I remember screaming but nothing else about once I left the party. “It’s still foggy. I left the party and was hit from behind.” Jake gets up and approaches the other police officer who hands him something. Jake comes back and gives me what’s in his hand. I open my hand and see the item. It’s a blue butterfly.
This is what he dropped in my hand when he left me there for dead. I look down, then back to Jake. “Dillon.”

Chapter 13

The police told us they are looking into it, but because I didn’t see anything and couldn’t identify my attacker as Dillon, they couldn’t arrest him. They told me I could apply for a peace bond. Dillon stated he was a few hours away staying with family. However, his family could only say he went to bed early and was there in the morning, but they don’t believe he left his room. He’s been told to stay away from me while the investigation takes place. That was four days ago. Today I’m being released. Jake and Keegan have been switching off with who stays here with me. I’m going to stay at my brothers, but Jake said he’s staying too.

When we all get to their place, I see listings for new places on the counter. “What are those for? Are you moving?” All three boys turn to me and are pale.

“Becca, I spoke with Mom and Dad, and we’ve all talked too. They aren’t going to be able to arrest Dillon and I don’t think he’s going to stop. We are looking at houses and will be moving into a four bedroom as soon as we find one.”

I look to Jake. “You’re going to live there too, but we like the dorms?”

He shakes his head. “
No, I like you safe. Besides, it’s a good idea. The end of the semester is coming soon and I know you got extensions, so you are finishing a bit later than us, but we are going to move in before we all head home for the holidays. I have the papers for you to sign to resign from the residence and I have already handed mine in. Please do this for us.” They all look so serious.

“But why four bedrooms? It’s not like I ever sleep alone.” They all laugh at me, lightening the mood.

“In a house full of boys you’ll be happy to have your own space, Becca.” My brother is clearly happy that I’m not fighting this, but if Jake left the dorms I wouldn’t stay anyway.

“So what have we got? Show me where I am going to be living.”

Over the next hour, they talk about all the houses. With our collected money, we can actually afford a nice place. There are a few I like, but then I notice the last one. It is just off campus. It would be closer to walk as the parking lot is only a minute from the house. It’s white with blue trim. It has an old charm like a Victorian style. I tell the boys I love this one and why, and they just say it’s nice. Men!

“
Well, I want this one. It’s spacious and it will suit our needs. We can all keep our food cards and still eat at school when we want to as well. It has enough parking for your cars and I want this room.” I am pointing to one of the two bigger rooms. It has a connecting bathroom, but that bathroom also connects to another bedroom.

“Then I want this one,” Jake jumps in and picks the one with the adjoining bathroom. “I’m not giving up living next to you.”

I laugh. “Sounds like a plan.” We decided to do a run through of it tomorrow and start moving in shortly after, if it all goes to plan. Even with the boys moving with me, I still feel panicked, it’s only a matter of time till Dillon strikes again. I know it was him. I may not have seen him, but who else calls me butterfly.

******************************************

The next two weeks go by in a blur. We are now well into the month of November. Exams are coming up and of course, I’m nervous. I am mostly caught up with my classes thanks to my amazing tutors. Jake and Keegan each took time to help me with my classwork.

We moved into the house yesterday, and everything is everywhere. Jake and I share our bathroom, which he let me put dolphin pieces up in it. When we moved in, there was something about it that made me think butterfly. I don’t know if it was the wispy abstract pictures or what, but we went out to look for new stuff right away. I came across dolphins, and I was sold. Of course, Jake couldn’t say no. Jake and I had to go buy beds. I jokingly told him it wasn’t like I needed a big one, I wouldn’t be in it. When I’m not with Keegan, I’m with Jake.

My nightmares came back with a vengeance. While we were staying at my brother’s old place he and Keegan went to the library to study. I went to bed early, and I woke up in cold sweats screaming after an hour. Jake crawled in next to me, and I told him how it was Dillon, and he was haunting my dreams. He was there nightly, although it wasn’t nearly as bad when Jake or Keegan were with me. When Keegan got home, he just slept on the couch. He was amazing about it. He tells me continuously it would be no different if I was in bed with Alec. I asked him what he’d do if it was Alec. He told me he’d kick Alec out of bed and take his spot. I laughed, because that wouldn’t happen, my brother could sleep through anything.

Now that we are all settled in, the guys had a security system put in just to be safe. Keegan is leaving for a few days to visit family when his exams are done, so he can spend the holidays with Alec and me. I called Mom to tell her, and she was happy. She told me she had seen Keegan before I got back from Europe, and he was so nervous to see me. She was happy I was moving on. I asked her if she’d seen or heard about Dillon. She told me he hadn’t been seen around town. That was good to hear, I didn’t want to be anywhere near him ever again.

The boys have now wrapped up their exams. I have two more that I got extensions on and am writing them in the next two days. Keegan is going to see his family, and I talked Alec into going with him. They were both leery about leaving me with just Jake. Jake told them both, he’d be with me all the time. I wanted to spend some time with Jake. I was going to miss him so much during the holidays when I went back home and he went to see his family. He was heading to Europe again to meet them for the holidays.

We spent the next four days studying for my exams and watching movies. The campus was empty and things were so quiet around. I’d gotten so
used to sleeping with someone in my room that it was going to be very hard on me when I went home. No way was Dad going to let Keegan sleep in my room. I told the guys I’d be fine, they even considered staying here for the holidays.

******************************************

Bec. BEC! I’m sorry.

I wake up screaming and being shaken by my brother. “Becca, it’s just a nightmare.” The tears streaming down my face tells me it’s more than that. I have guilt, and it’s eating me alive. I hate Michael for ruining us. He’s made me question everything. How can you hate someone you loved wholeheartedly and they’re dead?

“Alec, I hate him.” He takes a deep breath and says that he understands. He thinks I’m talking about Dillon. We have been at my parents’ house for three days. Keegan is sleeping in my brother’s room. After the first night and my screams, Alec has stayed with me. It hasn’t stopped the nightmares. It’s Christmas Eve today, and I can hear my mom already downstairs banging around in the kitchen.

“Let’s go help
Mom in the kitchen, Becca.”

When we get downstairs, Keegan is already there.  He is looking gorgeous as usual with his just out of bed hair. How is it even possible?

“Morning, Keegan.” He gets up and comes to me.

“Morning,
babe.” He hugs and kisses me. He looks at me like he can see right into my core. He’s up to something. “I was wondering if I could take you somewhere today.” He looks nervous, so does my mom.

“Key, I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.” Alec gives him a look. What is going on?

“Sure, sounds good.” Alec just shakes his head at my response.

We all eat breakfast, and I head up to my room to wrap Keegan’s presents. I asked him what I should wear, and he says something warm. We are going to be outside that’s all he’ll say.

I’m now standing in the middle of the worst place in the world. Keegan hands me flowers and asks me if I want him to come with me. I shake my head. I don’t want to be here, but this is something I have to do alone if I am going to do it. I walk along the rows until I see his name. Michael Brandon Marcus. I’ve never been here. I wouldn’t come with Alec no matter how much he asked me to. This is why. At the bottom, it says ‘Loving Son, Boyfriend, and Friend’. I can’t help but cringe at the word boyfriend. He loved me. I believe that, but he still hurt me.

I turn and see Keegan watching me
from the car. I bend down and trace the letters of his name. I place the flowers, and tears start trickling down my face. “Michael, I miss you.” I do miss him, but I still feel this hate. “How could you do this to me? You’ve made me doubt our love, doubt us and doubt my entire life before. You were my sun and now all I feel is dark when it comes to you. I always thought the only thing keeping us apart was that you weren’t here with me.

“
Now I think you didn’t tell me because you knew it would be over. I love you so much and wish you were here. But I can’t say we’d be together. We wouldn’t be when I found out. I would have ended it. You will always be my best friend, but you are no longer the love of my life. That has to be for someone who wouldn’t hurt me like you have.”

With that, l lose all control of my emotions. I’m shaking and can barely see anything through my
tears. I feel Keegan’s arms around me as he lifts me to him.

“Are you ready
, Becca?”

I nod my head and turn to Michael’s grave. “I’m sorry.”

We turn to the car and head home.

When we get back everyone is quiet. I tell them all I’m tired and going to lay down. Alec follows me upstairs. “I told him you weren’t ready.” 

I shake my head. “I’d never be ready, Alec, but I had to do it. It’s time to move on from all this pain and heartache. I’m fine. I just need to be alone and sleep.” I turn and shut my door, locking it. I fall onto my bed, and all those tears are back. I feel horrible for hating him and even worse for the things I said, but they are how I feel. He betrayed me. What’s wrong with me is the last thought I have before I fall asleep.

I wake the next morning and do presents with everyone. I tried to call Jake, but his phone is going right to voicemail. I got a new laptop, clothes and some other things from my mom. Keegan comes and sits next to me.

“My turn now.” He hands me a little black velvet box. I open it, and my eyes go wide. Inside is a simple but beautiful gold locket. “Open it, Becca.” I do and inside are two pictures of him and me. I look up at him with tears in my eyes.

“It’s beautiful. You shouldn’t have.” He takes it and moves my hair aside so he can fasten the clasp. “I love you, Becca. I don’t ever want you to forget that.” I won’t. There is no way I can forget that I love this man.  I hand him his gift. He opens it to find a thick silver chain with a hockey charm on the end. It has two hockey sticks overlapping. “I love you, Becca. Thank you,
baby.” I give him a hug and kiss. 

My brother comes beside me and hands me two boxes. The first one is full of books and sketch pads. He got me oils and told me the canvases are hiding in his room. I open the last one, and it has pictures of everything from my first semester. There are pictures of me in the library studying, hanging out with the team at my first game, and Jake and I laughing in my bed. At the very bottom is one of Keegan and me at the arena. But when I see there’s a picture taped to the lid of the box, I grab it. My heart stops. I’m looking at a picture of my brother and Michael standing next to the Lakehead sign. They are holding a sign that said wish you were here.