The Lonely Girl (8 page)

Alec
steps back to take a look at me. I’ll admit I’ve changed. My hair is more blonde than red. It’s also longer than I’ve ever had before. It goes down to my butt now. I’m wearing a bit more makeup than I did before too. I’m rocking out in my comfy skinny jeans and the Lakehead sweater he sent me. I’m skinnier too, probably from the lack of sleep and running I’ve started doing. I dropped a size or two while I was gone. I had to buy all new clothes and there will be no mistaking that I’m not a kid anymore. I will be just like every other girl here. I actually enjoy dressing up again. That’s about the only improvement this summer, and that’s thanks to Charlotte. She helped me buy a whole new wardrobe while I was away with her. I love her for it. It was a real distraction and mood lifter. Although now that I’m five feet away from the person who I needed the distraction from, I feel all those things again.

“Jesus, Becca, you look so different. I missed you.”
Alec is staring at me like I’m not the same person he put on a plane at the beginning of summer.

Different, really
? I’m hoping it’s a good different. From the reaction I got from a few of the guys in my summer program it is, but who knows. To be honest, most of the attention I got was only at school. Jake seemed to be the ultimate repellent for guys when I was with him. Which was often, not that I’m complaining about either of those things. When I’m with Jake, I don’t really think about anyone else. He and I just click. We get each other as best friends.

I say hello to my parents. My mom is already crying. Dad just said he was happy to see me. They are leaving on a plane in an hour to go home. I’ll miss them, but I am excited to start my classes. Who knew I’d be excited? I miss Michael every day, and I’m reminded every night in my nightmares he’s gone. I turn to Keegan. He’s been staring at me the whole time. Is this as awkward for him as it is for me? Probably not. I’m the idiot that hugged
him and kissed his cheek when I left. Why did I do that again? Before I can overthink it anymore Keegan gives me a friendly hug. “Hey, Becca. Hope you had a nice summer.” That’s all he says. From my update emails, he should know what I chose to tell everyone. I told them it was wonderful, beautiful and I thought about not coming back.

“Keegan, nice to see you again.” I smiled at him.
God, I missed those eyes. We all make small talk while we wait for my parents’ flight to be called.  Once they entered their gate, we left to head to the dorms. I thought we’d drop Keegan off right away, but he seems to be coming for the ride.

“Becca, are you sure you don’t want to room with Keegan and me, we are still close to campus?” I knew my brother would try again. So I decide to embrace my new bad ass attitude I’ve been working on while in Europe.

“Alec, trust me this is better. I don’t want to see you bringing home girls, and I sure as hell don’t want you around when I bring home a guy.” You could hear a pin drop in the car. Maybe it was a bad idea to say that to my brother. Before I know what is going on we are on the side of the road, and he’s pulling me out of the car all the while Keegan is giving me a dirty look.

“What the hell does that mean
, Becca? I don’t know what you’ve been up to in Europe but that shit won’t fly here with me.” Alec is yelling at me. “You are not doing that and if that’s what you think this year’s about I’m calling Mom right now and having your dorm cancelled and you will live with me.” 

Who the hell does he think he’s talking to
? I am his sister, and I love him, but he has some nerve. I’m about ready to lose it on him, but I hold back, because I see Keegan getting out of the car.

“Who the hell do you think you’re talking to, Alec? One, I’m your sister not your child remember that. Two, I know a lot about the girls you’ve been with.
Remember, I met a bunch of your friends so don’t act like a saint. Three, I am a grown ass woman and will make my own choices. For the record, I’m not a slut and was kidding, but I do want my damn privacy from my overbearing brother.” Wow, did that feel good and awful as my brother’s face falls. “Alec, I just want to do my own thing. I don’t want you constantly worrying about me, and you need to have a life too. Outside of me, you have your own friends. Besides, I know you’re going to see me all the time.”

My brother and Keegan look stunned. I’m sorry to do this, but I’ve been on my own all summer. I don’t need this now. My nightmares are about all I can handle.

Keegan walks over and says, “Becca, we just want to make sure you’re okay. It’s been a rough year.”

I don’t mean to snap
at him, but I do anyway. “Keegan, you don’t think I know that. But I’m done living my life that way. My boyfriend died and I had one that beat me up.” They both wince, but I go on. “I know that this has been hard but I’m ready to move on.”

They both look at each other and say at the same time, “Move on?”

I shake my head. I think I have to be completely blunt with them. “Yes move on. I’m ready to start dating again.” I don’t wait for their response. I go back to the car and get in. They both follow me, and we drive back to the dorm in silence.

When we arrive on campus, it is full of students bringing their stuff in. My brother tells me that they dropped off some boxes this morning with Mom and Dad, but I still have stuff in the back, and they didn’t unpack anything. Thank God I didn't pack my stuffed bear that would be very
embarrassing if they found it. My whole ‘I’m a grown woman’ speech would have meant nothing. When we get out and start to unload my bags and boxes, I hear someone yell, “Becca.” I turn and smile instantly. I drop my bag and run.

“Jake,” I yell as I jump into his arms and he twirls me around. I get lost in the moment for a minute. When we both realize we have an audience we separate. We turn and Jake says ‘Hi’ to both the Keegan and Alec, who are now staring at us. They don’t know we have spent the summer together in Europe, and he and I emailed each other daily prior to that.

I break the awkwardness saying, “Jake, where’s your dorm?”

He gives me a sly smile. “
Actually, funny you’d ask that. I’m right next door to you.”

I can’t help my excitement, and I hug him again. “That’s
great, I didn’t know you were in a single too. This will be great. We are going to have so much fun this year. Just like….” I stop myself quickly, and Jake bends over and busts out in a laughing fit. I start to pick up my bags when I realize I never told him my room so how does he know he’s by me. “Jake how do you know you’re next door to me?” He looks a little embarrassed, but he’s not embarrassed for him, he’s staring at Alec.

I turn to Alec but Jake speaks, “Wait till you see your door.”

I stare at my door, which is decorated and not in a good way. Alright, that’s it, I’m going to be an only child. I am going to kill my brother. My brother has taken it upon himself to decorate it for me. It has some beware tape along it that has a sign with my name. Which is okay, I guess, but what’s under it is the problem.  A sign that says ‘Little sister of Alec Potts so stay away!’

“Are you kidding me
, ALEC?” I tear it off and stomp up to the trash can and chuck it all in there. “I will decorate my own door, Alec, and you will stop this now or so help me God, I will embarrass your ass and you will wish you never talked me into coming here.” I poke him with my finger in his chest. “Do you understand?” He just nods, well, that’s a good answer. 

I open my door. It’s not
much, but it has a bed, a sink, a desk, a mirror, and a futon. This will be my home for the year. I notice that Keegan has been very quiet. When my brother goes to the car to grab the last box, I turn to Keegan. “You didn’t help him did you, Keegan?” He’s quiet, which confirms he was there.

“I just want you to be safe and happy so does Alec.”
Wow, he speaks, and that’s all he says.

“Keegan, listen I’m fine, really I just want to move on.” As I said it, I realize that I might mean from Keegan as well. He just nods in response. A girl comes around and knocks on my door.

“Hello, Becca is it?” She’s a pretty brunette with big brown eyes. She’s tall and sporty looking. I used to look like that.

“
Yes, I’m Becca, and you are?” She hands me a flyer. It’s for a party tonight.

“My name’s Kristy and I live down the hall. I’m a second year student. I hope to see you there tonight. We can chat more.”

I smile at her. “Yes, that sounds great. I will see you there.”

I turn
and notice Keegan is trying to look at the flyer. I read Barn Field party with directions, and it says ‘a welcome to the new students’ with a note on the bottom that says ‘it’s heated’. I wonder why that makes a difference.

“You’re going to go to that?” He sounds unsure.

“Sure am, time to make some friends around here.”

He looks down. “I thought we were friends.”

I suddenly feel horrid. I didn’t mean to insinuate that I didn’t know anyone here. “Keegan we are friends but if I don’t make some new ones you’re going to get sick of me.”

I barely hear it when he says, “Never
gonna happen.”

Just then my brother comes in. I jump up and down and shake the flyer in his face. “Time to mingle brother, and no you aren’t taking me.”

He looks ready to say something, but he stops when he looks at Keegan. “Fine, but I will see you there and you will tell me before you leave.”

I huff, “Fine, Fine. Now you two better go. I need to set up and get ready for my first night in residency.”

I thought that would be it, but my brother doesn’t stop. “No can do. Let’s take you to eat first then we will let you get on with it.”

When we get to the
café there are plenty of students in it. Today was orientation, but since I’d visited in the spring, I didn’t fly back for it. We head to the table, and I see Jake. He smiles and waves me over. I sit across from him with Keegan and Alec on either side. Ya, I’m going to have to put a stop to this barricade of boys I have going on.

My brother returns with some food. Just as we are all finishing a tall girl, with legs that seem to go on forever, comes up behind Keegan and gives him a kiss on his
cheek. I instantly tense. She clearly has no problem showing off her body. She’s barely covered. I see Keegan flicker a glance at me, so I turn my attention to Jake. I hear her call Keegan babe, and I instantly feel sick. Clearly, I know what he’s done with his summer. I turn to my brother to get his attention. I lean and whisper to him asking who she is. He looks and tells me her name is Sarah. He then tells me that they have been on and off for the summer. Yup, that’s about all I can take. I turn to Jake.

“
Jake, are you done?" He nods. “Great I’m heading back to the dorms, want to walk with me?” I feel both Keegan and my brother go rigid. So just to put salt in the wounds of these two overbearers, I add, “Let’s go get ready for this party. After the summer we’ve had, we should be pros at this by now. Come on, my undeniable sexy plus one.” Ya, that should make them both think before they try to say anything.

While we were away this summer, it became a running joke that Jake was always my plus one and how amazing he looked when I took him to the gala’s and shows my program would attend. I get up and say bye and head out with Jake.

“You’re so naughty, Becca. Your brother is going to kick my ass.” I smile at him and laugh.

“Don’t worry
, Jake I’ll protect you.”
******************************************

I am currently standing in front of my mirror wondering if I’m making a mistake. Charlotte had talked me into this dress, now I’m not sure if it’s the right choice. Jake has not even seen it. It is a tight black dress that goes just past my butt. It’s incredibly short, but she said it would make the statement that I’m too hot to be anyone’s little sister. It shows just the right amount of cleavage
. It has a black see through patch over my stomach, which I know is going to cause a problem for my brother. He doesn’t know that I got my belly button pierced while I was in Europe. The dress has no back too. I put on the see through black cardigan that goes with it, but it doesn’t do anything. I put my black dress coat over it, and I put on a pair of black dressy boots. My makeup is done to the max, but not caked on something Charlotte taught me this summer. My hair is curled, and it goes all down my back in a natural way, but different from the usual Becca way. My brother isn’t going to be happy. I look down for my bag and keys. My parents got a couple of extras made I assume for my brother. I haven’t decided if I want to give him one yet. Although, I have decided to give one to Jake, I trust him and he’s next door, so if I lose my key it’s convenient. 

There’s a knock at the door, I open it and see Jake. He’s wearing low riding jeans that hug him in the right spots. He’s got a long-sleeved light
gray sweater on and for some reason, it makes his eyes stand out. He’s looks amazing, and he doesn’t even know it. I invite him in for a second.

“I wanted to ask you something
, Jake?”

He nods and says, “Ya sure, what is it, Becca?” Now comes the hard part.

“My parents had some extra keys made for my door in case I forget my key or I lose it. Since you live next door, I was wondering if you’d hold on to one for me?”

There is a
pause, then I see him fiddling with his keys. “Ya that’s actually a great idea, here’s my spare one in case I forget it or you need to talk.”

I give him a hug
and I hand him my key. “Thanks for everything Jake. Hopefully my brother won’t be too hard on you. I wouldn’t tell him I gave you a key. He’s going to want one.”

Jake just laughs. “I knew when I contacted you he’d give me a hard time but you’re worth it. Let’s hope this year is as awesome as our
summer, eh?” I just smile because I feel the same way.

We walk to the field, and I see the barn with twinkle lights around the door. I’m cold. I now understand the need for the heaters.
I wonder if I’m dressed too flashy, until I see a girl walk by wearing a leopard tube top. Yea, I think I’ll fit in just fine. When we walk through the door, I see Alec right away. He’s next to Keegan, of course. I swear these two are attached at the hip. Keegan spots me and smiles until he sees Jake. He taps my brother who looks over at me with Jake and waves us over. Maybe I’ll just keep my coat on all night, seems like the safe idea with the look I am already getting from Alec. I turn to Jake, and he offers me his arm.

“Might as well piss him off while we’re at it, Becca.” I laugh and take his arm.

“Let’s do this, Jake.”

When we get over to the group everyone says their hellos. My brother is drilling holes in Jake’s head. I look to Keegan, who is staring at our arms linked. I decide to make this easier. I walk away from Jake and go to my brother and hug him. I whisper
to him to be nice. I turn to Keegan and give him a quick hug, telling him he looked nice. Just as he was about to say something, he grabbed my arm, but Sarah bumps into me and flings her arm over Keegan. I take this time to walk away and go back to Jake and link my arm in his. Sarah’s wearing a short, deep purple tube dress with heels. It’s a field party at least I’m wearing boots. Okay, I’m being petty I know, but she just rubs me the wrong way. It’s getting hot in here. The guys are just in shirts or light sweaters. Jake takes his arm, and he puts it around my shoulder. It’s way more comfortable since he’s so tall.

Sarah finally stops making a fuss with Keegan and notices I exist. She asks who I am, and my brother answers
, “My sister Becca.”

Her response makes my blood cold. “How cute.” She stares at my jacket. “Aren’t you hot in that?”

Yes, I’m very hot in it, but I didn’t want to cause an issue with it. Due to her comments, I don’t care though. “Yea actually I am.”

I step back from Jake and start undoing my buttons. I turn around so no one
can see my dress yet, and I slip off my jacket. I hang it on the nail on the post, and then I turn around. The entire group of guys stop talking. They are staring at me. It’s Keegan, who almost spits his beer out. “Wow.”

I see Jake, and he’s just laughing a little because he knows about my piercing. “You look amazing, Becca. I take it this was the special outfit Charlotte warned me about.” I laugh, and I thank Jake. He’s so sweet.

I step beside him again and into the light so now you can see that my stomach part is see through. I’m wearing a glittery bellybutton ring, so it’s definitely noticeable. Jake puts his arm around my shoulders again and leans in. “Your brother might die due to that dress.” I just look at Alec, and he is pale. I see him look over the dress, and I know he sees the bellybutton ring. I walk over to him before he can make a scene. 

Keegan must have spotted the fact that there is no back to my dress
because, he says, “Ya bro, you’re on your own. There’s no way she’s not getting attention looking like that.”

After that comment, I hear Sarah huff and stomp by. Before she leaves she says, “I wouldn’t be caught dead in a dress without a bra.”

That pisses me off. It’s not made to be worn with one. It has built in padding at the front. Usually I wouldn’t be caddy with her, but she has further pissed me off. “Well, I’m not self-conscious. I know I look good and I can pull off this dress.”

The guys around us make an ‘oh’ noise signaling I have clearly embarrassed her. Alec is fuming now. I take him by the arm and guide him to the back of the barn and Keegan follows us.

“Alec, before you even think of saying anything this is my body and I’ll do with it what I like.” Ya that didn’t help, he just turns darker shades of red.

“You got your navel pierced? When the hell did you do that, Bec?”
Ugh! He called me Bec.

I speak through my teeth I’m so mad, “It’s Becca and not that it’s any of your business, big brother, but I got it done the first week I was in Europe with Jake and Charlotte and before you even ask, I’m not taking it out. Now don’t go kill Jake either. I like him and he’s become my best friend. I spent the
summer with him and I don’t want to hear another word about him or I will embarrass the hell out of you.”

He huffs. “Why are you dressed like that Becca?”

What the hell? I look no different than any of the other girls here. 

“Really because I look around and I’m wearing the same amount of clothing as every other girl here. More actually than any of the girls I’ve seen you scoping out. Yes, I’m your sister and it sucks that you have to hear your buddies tell you I look hot but I’m not going to wear a jogging suit.” I hear Keegan laugh. “What are you laughing at you’re just as bad as he is?”

Keegan straightens up. “What do you mean I’m as bad as he is?”

My brother says sorry and walks off. I decide to avoid Keegan, but I feel him grab my arm. 

“What did you mean by that, Becca?” Oh, he knows he’s just being an ass.

“I heard what you said to Jake last spring. I know how you look at me. You told Jake to stay away and he didn’t. I spent the summer with him when I was in Europe and he treated me like a friend not a sister. I don’t need another brother, Keegan. I don’t need you to look after me because
of your loyalty to my brother or the fact you see me as a little sister.”

He’s quiet until he says, “That’s what you think?”

I turn and say, “That’s what I know. But don’t get mad at Jake because he realized I’m worth the risk.” With that, I run out of the barn grabbing my coat as I pass it. I don’t stop until I’m halfway to the dorm. I send Alec and Jake a quick text saying I was tired and headed home to bed. When I get back, I plug my phone in and realize there are three messages from Keegan.

I’m sorry I upset you, I didn’t mean it.

We should talk I don’t want things to become awkward. 

Yes, cause talking is going to make it not awkward. I don’t want to hear that he has no interest in me.