The Lonely Girl (4 page)

At that moment, I realize that Dillon and I really are over.
I never thought I would look at another guy like I am lookin at Keegan right now. Even when I look at Jake, it's different.
When I sneak up behind them without them noticing, I hear what they are talking about.

“No man, she’s his little sister and that makes her my little sister, Jake. I don’t see her that way at all.
I’m just talking to her and being nice. I’m watching out for her, for Alec. He wants her to come here so I’m working that too.”

I hear Jake. “Man suit yourself. She’s beautiful and talented. She was showing me her drawings,
they're incredible and she’s smart. I’m not going to go behind Alec’s back but I’m also not going to watch someone like Drake try to win her over.”

“Jake don’t go there. She’s just a kid.”

That’s all I can take. I can’t listen to anymore. I turn around to run away. I bump into someone, and it gets Keegan’s attention. I don’t turn around though, even when I hear him call my name. I flee to the backyard and bump right into Drake. “Hey pretty thing, were you looking for me?”

I start to back up, and I bump into someone else. I know instantly by the
smell, it’s Keegan. He puts his arm around me, and Drake’s face turns cold.

“Becca you want to go?” I really don’t want to go anywhere with Keegan after what he said, but the way Drake is looking at me, nothing good can come from it.

“Yea, I was coming out here because I didn’t feel good and needed some air.” I start to back away, but Keegan doesn’t let go of me. He turns with me and leads me out front to where Jake is. Keegan walks up to Jake, who’s looking at me like he’s embarrassed. Ya, I’m embarrassed too, Jake.

“Hey
Jake, can you let Alec know I’m taking Becca back to the dorm. She doesn’t feel good and is really tired. Tell him not to worry, she’s fine, she’s just had a long day.”

Jake gives us an odd look like he doesn’t believe us, but
since he did hear how Keegan talked about me, he should know this isn’t a run around. Jake comes up and hugs me. Again, I don’t cringe. It’s nice. He holds me and it’s tender. He smells good too. God, what is it with the guys here? He smells like honey and a hint of cologne. Not powerful and not overdone, it’s nice. Maybe I should come here. 

I laugh. “Jake
, it was so nice to meet you.”

He steps back still holding my shoulders. “I’ll see you in the fall, Becca, and here, this is my email. Write to me and I will help you pick some good art programs while you’re here.” 

I smile a full smile at him and tell him I will. Conveying not only that I will be here in the fall, but I will write to him.

I turn, and Keegan puts his arm around my shoulder. Again, he doesn’t look happy. Well, that’s just too bad. Some people understand that I am not a child.  We walk back to the dorms, and he offers me his bed again. I tell him I’m fine with the
futon. I grab my pj’s and go to get dressed. When I get back, he’s pacing. I walk right over to the futon and lay down. Keegan gets into his bed and speaks, “Becca, I didn’t...”

I interrupt him to save this from becoming more awkward where he says he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings.  “Keegan, I’m really tired. Can we talk in the morning?”

He stays silent for a bit. “Sure Becca, goodnight.” He rolls over, so I do the same.

“Goodnight Keegan.” I swear I hear him sigh.

I hear my brother come in during the night, and he checks on me. However, I pretend I’m asleep. He leans down and kisses my cheek and he whispers, “Becca, I love you. Please come here with me in the fall. I miss you.” My heart breaks. I stay quiet though. As I fall asleep, I decide that I will do this for my brother. In the fall, I will attend Lakehead.

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When I wake the next morning, I smell bacon and coffee. I rise and see Keegan sitting there. “Hey Becca, I went and got breakfast for you since you won’t have time before the airport. I know you don’t drink coffee but I got you hot chocolate.” He’s smiling, and I can see he has tiny dimples. How does he not know that his smile is lethal?

I get up, stretch and walk
over to him. My brother is still snoring. I grab the hot chocolate, and our fingers touch. I pull back instantly not wanting to give him the wrong idea. Did I tell him I don’t drink coffee? No, I don’t think so. It must have been Alec who told him. Alec starts to stir, probably from the smell of his own diesel coffee. He takes it black. Gross. I eat breakfast with Keegan and we keep our conversation light. Neither of us brings up last night. I pack up my stuff and the whole time Keegan is watching me. Alec announces it’s time to jet. I go to say bye to Keegan. “I’m not letting you leave without going with you to the airport. We are going to finish this how it started,” he simply states and smiles at me.

We get to the airport. They both come inside with me. My brother steps aside to call my mom
to tell her my flight is on time. Keegan approaches me and gives me a hug. Not like the big bear hug I received when I got here. This one is gentle and long. Before stepping back, he kisses the top of my head. Did he really just do that? Come on Becca, don’t read into it.

“Becca, I had such a good time with you here. Your brother was right about everything he said about you. You belong here. I really hope to see you in the fall. Maybe I’ll visit Alec in the summer.” He hugs me again this one is tighter, and I squeeze him back. “I want you here, Becca.” Wow, am I reading into that too. I have to be. Then he hands me a
piece of paper. I open it, and it’s his cell phone number. “Call or text me, we can talk about your fall classes.” I put it in my pocket. Just then my brother comes back over.

“Are you ready Becca?” Alec looks sad again.

“Yes, I am, but don’t look so sad. I’ll be back in the fall and I’ll see you in the summer.” I smile, and he gives me the biggest smile ever.

“Really, Becca? You’re going to come to Lakehead?”

“Yes, so I’ll see you in a few weeks big brother and Keegan, I’ll see you in the fall.” I hug them both and walk to my plane, never looking back. I don’t need to, because I’ll be back.

Chapter 4

It’s been four weeks since I got back from visiting my brother and Keegan. I told my mom and dad I decided to go to Lakehead and they were so happy. Mom was crying for an hour. She just kept saying how proud she was. I told my parents that I would not be doing the long distance relationship with Dillon and planned to end it soon. They agreed not to say anything. 

I hear from
Alec almost daily. He keeps asking the same question, ‘Have I told asshat aka Dillon about Lakehead yet?’ I always answer no. I have been dodging him and with his exams, he’s been letting me. We talk on the phone, but I always keep it light and never bring up Lakehead, and neither does he. I told him I was sick last weekend and stayed home in bed.  Which is what I did, but I was in bed with class lists trying to figure out what I want to take.

I’ve written to Jake several times a week since I left Lakehead. He’s been
so helpful telling me about some art programs offered on campus and off campus. I told him I will be attending Lakehead in the fall, and I have confirmed my acceptance. He’s going to Europe for the summer with his family. His family is loaded. I wouldn’t have thought that because he doesn’t come off that way. My family is well off too, but his family has a house in five countries.

My mom asked me if I wanted to visit Charlotte for the summer.
Charlotte is my cousin who moved to Scotland at age eleven. We are very close and I also consider her more like a sister. When my mom brought up the idea I wasn’t sure, but now I’m seriously considering it. Alec called last week and said he and Keegan got their apartment and got jobs for the summer teaching little kid’s hockey. He sounded happy. I think now that he knows I’m going to Lakehead, and I am okay, he is having a better time being away from everyone.

I called Charlotte, and I asked her what she thought about a summer in Scotland with
me. She screamed, so I’m assuming she thought it was okay. Talking to Charlotte is funny since she neither has a Scottish accent or a Canadian one. It’s a weird mix of both, but it suits her and makes her Charlotte. My parents asked my school if I could write my exams early, so I could leave to study abroad. I am going to take an art program while I’m in Scotland for the three months. Charlotte is so excited and has already started planning our summer. When I called her tonight and told her I’d be leaving in a week, she was so thrilled I thought she fainted.

Charlotte asked about Dillon to which I told her I was going to tell him that I was leaving on Saturday. On Saturday, the seniors are having their end of the year bash before their exams. I write my last exam on Friday. Dillon has begun to notice I’m
not seeing him or returning his calls or messages and he’s only getting angrier. His last message consisted of calling me a slut and a bitch and saying I was cheating on him. I just ignore him. Luckily, after Saturday I won’t have to deal with Dillon’s crap. My phone is being shut off when I leave for Scotland since I will get a new SIM card there, and I will need to change my number for school anyways. Dillon will have no way to contact me. On Monday morning, I will be leaving for Toronto to see Alec and Keegan while they are there for an event.  Then, on Tuesday, I will be flying out to see Charlotte.
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Today is Friday and
I’ve taken my last exam. All exams are now completed and graded. I have officially graduated high school. I can’t wait to get to Scotland. At the end of the summer, I will go right to Lakehead. My parents are meeting me at Lakehead with my things since I’ve already packed everything.

I’m in my room cleaning it and I’m reading one of Jake’s emails that he sent this afternoon.

Hey Becca,

How did your exams go? I’m sure you aced them. All that worrying and I bet you’re thinking you had nothing to worry about. I just arrived in London. My family is all here and it’s hectic. Look forward to
rain and pack lots of rain suits. No joke. Keegan took me to the airport yesterday and asked if I had spoken to you. I told him a bit. I didn’t know you were into science as well as art. You really are a talented genius. You will do great at your program. Can’t wait to see what you’ve done. Have a safe trip. Let’s meet up when I visit Scotland, and I know this great little café. Talk soon.

Jake

Jake’s right. I panicked and worried over nothing. I did exceptional on my exams like I always do. I just wouldn’t be Becca if I didn’t. Well, actually that was a Bec thing. Wow, he spoke to Keegan about me. Keegan asked about me.  I take out my phone and message Keegan.

Hey, Keegan. It’s Becca. Sorry I haven’t written you. I have been stressing about school and really didn’t want to talk more science. My parents took off today to go see family in Virginia. I’m excited to see you Monday. I should arrive around noon on Monday on a Greyhound bus. Maybe we can talk about classes while I’m there. –Becca-

I continue cleaning my room, making sure I haven’t forgotten anything. I lay down with a book and not long after I’m asleep.

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I wake the next morning feeling refreshed. I needed that sleep. No nightmares, that’s the first time since I’ve been home. I go to my phone and have twelve messages from Dillon. I delete them without reading them. I have one from Keegan and my heart jumps.

Becca, Nice to hear from you finally. I’m kidding, I know how you get stressed, your brother does it
too. Must be a family trait. Alec told me about your abroad program. I am so excited for you. Your brother is so proud of you. Don’t go and get too talented. We both expect you at Lakehead in the fall. Call me when you're about forty minutes away and we will meet you at the bus terminal. Your brother doesn’t get in until early Monday morning, but he will be there when it’s time to pick you up. He wouldn’t miss it. We can talk about classes, if you want to. Bring your books. But now that I have your number I can message you. Keegan

I could read into this message for hours. Instead, I lay around the house until dinner
time, then I start to get ready for the party and to break things off with Dillon even though I know we aren’t official. He messaged me saying he’d meet me at seven. I won’t go in the car with him, so I’m going to walk over as it’s not too far from my house. I’m all finished getting ready, so I send Keegan a message.

Keegan.
I’m getting a new number in Scotland, so this one will be changed, but I will give it to you as soon as I get it. I will call you when I get close to the terminal. Nothing will stop me from going to Lakehead in the fall. I’m excited to see you both as well. I can’t wait. –Becca-

I arrive at the party
forty minutes late because I called Charlotte, and we got into a deep conversation. I even spoke to her about Jake and Keegan. I see Dillon’s already here. . I notice right away that he has been drinking. Not enough that he’s hammered, but enough that I notice. I hate it when he drinks. He spots me and comes up to me immediately.

“Hello Butterfly.” He hugs me, and I shiver
but not in a good way. I hate that he calls me butterfly. It’s a pet name he gave me when we started dating. He made some reference to why he called me it, but I never cared enough to bother to listen. I had decided that I would wait until the end of the night to tell Dillon. Maybe he will keep drinking and pass out. Then I wouldn’t have to say anything. I’d be gone before he knew what happened. We’ve been at the party a few hours now, and I said goodbye to a few of my friends. When one of the girls from my soccer team comes up and says she’ll miss me and to have a good trip, I tense up. Dillon is right behind me. Before I know what happened, I’m being pulled up the stairs and then into the loft. I turn to look at Dillon, and he’s livid.