The Lost and Found (29 page)

If time was what Crimson needed, if that was all he could give to her, then he’d step back and allow her to work all this through. He’d be patient and guard her. He’d keep her safe.

Crimson Sage

GRACIE’S PHONE CALL AND
her impending nuptials were sufficient to take my mind off thoughts of Charlene and what she might still mean to Josiah. And by the next morning I was waiting for him outside the barn, seated on one of his wooden chairs when he came outside.

“Hey,” he said as he saw me. “How’s your head?”

“Better.” I’d decided last night to trust him and believe that he was with me and not her.

Josiah leaned down and kissed the top of my head. “Good.”

He stepped back as I stood up, and I watched as he stretched, appreciating the view. “I’m just going to be riding the fence line today, making notes of any work that needs to be done. I probably won’t need you… go ahead and take it easy, all right? I’ll be back before you head off to work.”

My heart skipped a beat or two in my chest and thudded sickeningly. Josiah had never told me I wasn’t needed. Even when he was more than capable of completing whatever job he’d lined up for us, he’d always wanted me along, wanted me with him. That sick, scared feeling came back in force. I tried to stamp it down; I analyzed what he’d said, searching for any clues in his words or in his eyes. His eyes seemed off, a little distant. Cooler somehow.

“Okay, if that’s what you want.” I hoped he’d have said he wanted me with him, but was just worried about me. Instead, Josiah gave me a weak grin and said he’d see me later. He brushed his lips lightly across my temple and then headed for the horse barn.

I made my way back to the house in a daze, not really focusing on where I was going or what I was doing. My mind kept dragging up all my fears. Putting them on display. Torturing me. Alone in my room, I lay back on the bed and wiped the tears from my eyes. Maybe Josiah thought I needed space. Maybe he thought this was what I wanted. But, if that was the case, why not say so? Especially when I asked him if that was what
he
wanted.

What if he’s trying to get some distance between us — so he can break up with me?
What if he felt I was too clingy? Too needy? Was he just tired of dealing with all my emotional baggage? I’d tried to keep him away; I’d tried. He was the one who refused to let me be.
I’m so confused.
Was that what he was doing — trying to find a way to break up with me? I had no idea. I just kept playing through everything in my head, and nothing made sense. I couldn’t take this anymore — my head was spinning and I felt like I was going to be sick. I decided to get ready for work now and just go into town, maybe go to the library and check out a couple books, maybe read for a few hours before my shift started.

My job at the Java Shack was pretty easy. I worked the busier shifts, which made the day go faster. It was a fun job, and Tina was a great manager. An hour later I was heading into town. Several times my lips trembled and I’d had to blink back tears. I hadn’t told Josiah I was leaving and wondered if he’d even notice I was gone. I parked my car along the curb in front of the library and went inside.

An hour later I left, having found four books I’d been wanting to read. I took those to my car and then checked the time. I still had two hours until my shift began. There were two texts from Josiah — I ignored them. It just wasn’t something I was ready to deal with right then. Biting my lip, I decided to go park near the Java Shack and then do some window shopping.

There were a few boutique-type stores along the main street in Salmon that I’d never checked out before. Soon I was heading off on foot, sunglasses on, just trying to enjoy the sunshine. I ended up getting a pedicure from Liza’s Nails, and then went to Cuties Clothing and Shoes. I browsed there for another hour, trying on several shirts and shorts before making my purchase.

My phone rang while I was in the dressing room; I glanced at it and saw Josiah was calling. Not ready to talk with him yet, I just sent the call to voicemail. I didn’t want to get into an argument, and I didn’t want to hear the distance in his voice. I figured I’d call him back later, maybe when I was home. I put my phone in my pocket and then headed off to work.

Josiah

CRIMSON WASN’T ANSWERING HER
phone. Josiah hit End and then dialed it again. Still nothing. He’d already tried texting her with no success. He checked the time — she still had a couple hours yet before her shift at the Shack started. Josiah had planned to be done and back at the ranch before she left. He needed to see her, kiss her, and reassure himself they were all right. That she still loved him, still wanted him, still believed in him.

Being without her today had driven him insane. His ride had been useless. He hadn’t seen anything and knew he’d have to ride it again tomorrow. This time he’d take Crimson with him.

He thought to just check in with her, to say hello, let her know he was thinking of her — he’d wanted to hear her voice — so he’d called. When she didn’t answer right away, he didn’t immediately worry. But when she didn’t call back, when five minutes turned to ten, then fifteen, then thirty — he’d called her again. Maybe she was sleeping. Or in the shower. He’d told himself there was no need to worry.

But the feeling continued to nag at him. Something wasn’t right. He tried her several more times. Nothing. Josiah turned his horse back toward the ranch and kicked him into a gallop. He told himself to be calm. Crimson was fine. After glancing around the house and yard and seeing no sign of her, he unsaddled the gelding and fed and stabled him. Then he headed up to the loft. She wasn’t there either. He grabbed his keys and headed for the big house. Rob was seated on the couch watching some basketball game; a couple of the other ranch boys were sprawled around the floor watching with him. Josiah went to the office. Billy told him Crimson had left for work already, that she wanted to do a little shopping, and that she’d seemed fine.

The strain and stress of not seeing her, not having her beside him had reached a boiling point. Josiah nodded stiffly and left. He needed to see her — now. He needed to make sure she was all right. Then, maybe he might strangle her. Gritting his teeth he headed out the door.

Crimson Sage

MY SHIFT TONIGHT WAS
three hours. I clocked in at five and dove right into the after-work rush. I’d been there maybe twenty-five minutes when Tina, my manager, asked if Josiah and I had been in a fight.

Confused, I looked at her and asked, “No, why?”

“Cuz that boy just pulled in, and he looks like thunder.” Her gaze was focused on the parking lot where I could see Josiah making his way to me.

I gulped. Even in fury he was so beautiful it hurt. I watched as he ripped the door open, sending the bell over it to ringing loudly. His blue eyes met mine with a fierce look and stayed there. He took a deep breath and I saw his jaw clench. Then he went and sat at a corner table; his eyes were still hard, and they were still on me.

“Go talk to him. He looks fit to erupt.”

I stood there for a minute, trying to decide if I wanted to do this, or if I was going to chicken out and try to run out the back. I knew I wouldn’t make it far, so then I told myself to stop being a wimp. I took off my apron and hung it on my hook behind the register and then swallowed as I made my way to him. His blue eyes were slowly traveling over me, making it harder for me to breathe. When I stood before him, waiting for him to look up, I noticed the pulse pounding along his jawline. His eyes stayed on my hips.

Finally I sat down across from him. “Hey,” I whispered quietly. He nodded, his eyes now on mine. “What’s up?”

It took him a full minute to respond. “You were gone.”

“I had to work. You know that.”

“You were gone early. I tried to call. You never answered.”

“I was busy. I thought you’d know where I was.”

“I figured, but when you didn’t answer the phone I got worried.”

“I’m sorry, Josiah. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“Come outside with me,” he said as he took my hand and stood to his feet, pulling me with him.

Tina glanced at us and then catching Josiah’s eye warned, “She needs to clock back in, in ten.”

“She’ll be here,” was his response. He pulled me outside and then around the corner from prying eyes. Suddenly I found myself pressed up against the brick wall and Josiah was kissing me for all he was worth. I could taste the anger and the fear on his mouth. I felt the anxiety and relief in his touch. He was shaking; I was shaking. His mouth left mine briefly to roam my neck. His fingers gripped my back and dragged me closer. My arms were tightly around his neck, caught up in the emotion, the fever. And I kissed him back, letting him taste and see my worries and fears about him.

Just as suddenly as he’d started, he pulled back. His blue eyes were possessive as they roved over my swollen mouth. After a minute or two in which we panted and tried to control our breathing, he laid his forehead on mine. “I was worried, that’s all. Just worried.”

“I’m sorry for worrying you.”

“I’m sorry for being angry.”

“I gotta get back inside. I still have two hours left.”

“I know,” Josiah kissed me once more, lightly, then sighed and led me back inside. “I’ll take a coffee. Black.”

“To go?” I asked as I clocked back in.

“No.” I glanced at him then and he was looking at Tina. “I won’t interfere. Just humor me. I’ll order a pastry as well, then I’ll order again in a little while.”

“No trouble,” she warned him.

“None,” he responded as he turned back to the corner table.

I tried to ignore him for the rest of my shift, not because I was mad at him, but because each time I’d look in his direction, his gaze would bore into me, burning me and making it hard for me to breathe.

About fifteen minutes before closing, I was bent down in front of the counter, spraying the surface with Windex, when the bell above the door rang. I glanced over my shoulder and felt my heart trip. Two people came in — one man, one woman. The man was a few years older than me. He had dark brown eyes and thick, curly brown hair that fell across his eyes. He ran his hand through it, moving it off his forehead. He had a compass tattooed on his forearm. He was attractive, not like Josiah, not that wild, but still. And the woman — Charlene. Her green eyes found Josiah instantly, and her companion focused on me.

The look in his eye was friendly, interested, and predatory. A grin tugged at his lips. He shot a glance toward Josiah’s corner before refocusing on me. He approached the counter, which I had quickly stepped behind, and looked me over. Then his brown eyes strayed to the menu board behind me.