The Lost Hearts (24 page)

The woman jerked back, thrusting her arms high in the air.  From her mouth came a string of foreign words pinched with anger.  Trevor shrugged at her, stumbling toward the darkest corner of the shack.  He was sweating now, profusely, and he felt every c
ontraction of his heart against his chest. 
Pull yourself together, man,
he howled at himself, his brow creased in brute anger.  But she was there with him.  She had been there ever since he left her on the forest floor.  He had tried to outrun her.  He had tried to drink her away.  But Alexis was as stubborn and unyielding in spirit as she was in body. 

He flung his hat on the uneven surface of the wooden table and ran his fingers through his hair.  He must look like a mad man.  But he was in good company, he remarked dizzily through his intensifying stupor.  He closed his eyes into the palms of his hands, and he fell into a soulless obscurity.  And then, he saw her again.  Small and curled against him.  He could smell her, the spot where he pulled her hair from her neck, the soft patch of fine hair that curled.  He remembered the perfume of her body, how he had buried his nose against her as she slept that morning
in the forest. 

In an instant he felt the sorrow of a man who can never forgive himself, and his fists curled, his jaw clenched with fury.  He knew that his anger, his spite would never triumph over the pure tragedy of his loss.  But the whisky had satiated his rage an
d buoyed it close to his heart where he could reach it more easily, and it came to him in the image of her letter to Philip.  He sneered at no one, and pounded an iron-clenched fist hard against the wood of the dilapidated table.  He heard a plaintive voice ring from another corner, but he did not pay it notice. 

Again he saw her words, a burning script now seared in his brain:
I cling to the memory of the night before I left for this place.  How nothing made more sense than to feel your arms around me, and to pledge our lives together.  I am ever yours, and I hope that when I return, I will still hold a place in your heart.
 

Trevor seethed fire from his nose,
and he felt his stomach coil with the sickness of loss.  He couldn’t believe he had allowed a woman to worm her way into his heart, an unlikely one at that, only to find that he was nothing more than a tramp to her, the butt of a joke between two lovers.  And worst, that he had dared to give himself to her, to believe for a moment that she had given herself to him. 

Before his mind could follow the movements of his body, Trevor found himself springing upward, his hands hurling the table over with maniacal force.  It flew across the room, barely missing a table where a burly pink man with a salt-and-pepper mustache sat, his lady resting on a massive thigh.
  A chorus of squawking erupted but Trevor heard nothing.  He felt only the welcomed sting of electric pain course through his fist as it met the splintered wall of the shack. 

“That does it,” a ba
ritone voice barked matter-of-factly.  The ominous sound of a chair scraping backward against the floor made every face in the bar snap to watch the imminent brawl.  The man whom Trevor nearly injured with the table lifted his woman to her feet.  He stood, and the room took in his height with a small gasp of sudden sympathy for Trevor.  The man watched Trevor who was still unaware of the commotion, and he rolled up his sleeves with a calm and purpose that made the nervous room erupt into titters of speculation. 

“Boy,” growled the man when he had finally made his way to where Trevor sagged against the wall, lost underneath the depths of moonshine.  He lifted his brow, took the man in.  He thought of Alexis.  Then he looked at the man, saw sweet escape in the meaty, red fists coiled at his sides, and curled his lips into a happy smile.

“What the hell do you want, you ugly son of a bitch?” he asked.  

Chapter
T
wenty-One

“How are we doing on supplies?” Alexis said through a mouthful of rice, a few sticky grains catching on her lips, which had regained their color over the last days.  Lewis tittered, his face pulling back in an amused grin.  Since recovering, conversation between the two had turned playful, and she eyed her handsome companion with growing appreciation.  Lewis had not strayed from her side more than a few feet since she fell ill, and the softness of his voice had become a balm for her soul.  His history and friendship to Trevor reassured her all the more, and she nestled in the secret optimism that her connection to Lewis would keep close a man who’d ridden away with her heart. 

She would never guess that behind the warmth of Lewis’ dusky gaze resided an ever-growing attachment.  “You’ve got some
rice on your lip,” he murmured impassively.  He lifted his hand to her mouth, hiding his smile.  She felt his fingers press a glob of rice into her cheek.

Lewis erupted in laughter and Alexis flung the clump back at him.  “Ha, ha.  Very funny,” she giggled in mock contempt.  “At least you have a better sense of humor than Trevor.”  She said it without even realizing it, and the words caught in the air like an unpleasant aroma.  Lewis lowered his ey
es and fingered another handful of rice. 

“So?” Alexis asked,
poking her finger at Lewis’ side, desperate to restore some levity. “Supplies?”

Le
wis let his head fall back, and his brows folded soberly.  “We’ve got quite a ways ahead of us, Alexis.  We’ve enough to last us another three weeks, but since we don’t know the precise route, or how long we will be at the site, I suggest we take a detour to the east and pick up supplies near the British camp.  It’ll take us a few days off our path.”  Lewis scooped a ball of rice in his glazed fingers and it disappeared in a single gulp.

“A few days?”
Alexis’ eyes bulged, and she coughed as the rice caught in her throat.  Her gaze fell despondently, her chest rising in a dramatic sigh.  Her thoughts turned to Trevor once more and a hateful wind blew through her heart. 

Lewis shifted uncomfortably as he observed Alexis’ sapphire eyes darken.  “We would have had to do this anyway…with or without Trevor.”  Clearing his throat, he rolled another ball of
rice expertly in the palm of his hand. 

Her cheeks erupted into a furious pink.  “Oh,” she said, inhaling deeply to steady her voice and affect total nonchalance.  “I suppose it’s best to be cautious.  This trip is turning into an open-ended adventure.”  Eager to
expel Trevor from her brain, she continued.  “I’ve learned so much here, Lewis.  My father would be so encouraged.  But to think of how far we’ve come, and how much more we’ve to go.  It feels like we’ve only just gotten started.”

Lewis chuckled, but his voice tapered with typical pragmatism.  “It
is
promising.  But don’t get ahead of yourself.  I know these parts very well, Alexis, but I’ve never heard of the tribe we’re looking for.  We don’t even know if they still inhabit those lands.”

“Yes, yes, Lewis.  Ever the prudent,” she teased.  She examined her fingers, all coated in a thick, gooey fi
lm.  Behind her she felt the swift movements of a newcomer and Mulmulum lowered herself to the ground.  Her soft eyes lingered on Alexis.  She pressed the firmness of her palm against Alexis’ bare shoulder and murmured to Lewis.

“She says she will miss you
,” Lewis said.  Mulmulum cut him off, her face shadowed with concern.  When she finished, she stared expectantly at Lewis.

“What did s
he say?  That sounded important,” Alexis asked, leaning forward.

He hesitated. 
“She says she is worried for you.  She says that the jungle is not safe, and that women should not travel the paths.” 

Alexis patted Mulmulum appreciatively, but shook her head as though to dismiss her friend’s troubling thoughts.  “Tell Mulmulum that her
concern means a lot to me.  But I made it here safely, after all.  And besides, I won’t be alone.  I’ll have you.”  Lewis nodded.  As Lewis’ voice trailed off, Mulmulum fixed her gaze to Alexis, her full coffee-colored lips pulled into a frown.  Alexis squeezed her hand.  “It’s okay,” she whispered, injecting laughter into her voice.

Mulmulum
gave a solemn nod and braced herself to rise from the floor.  “O-kay,” she said, her mouth awkwardly adjusting to form the roundness of unfamiliar words.

***

Alexis couldn’t help the involuntary movement of her hips in rhythm with the trance-like thunder.  Strong hands beat violently against the kundu drums.  Electric-colored feathers pitted deep in the hair of drummers and dancers snapped in waves.  Alexis’ eyes swept over her own body.  At the behest of her hosts, Alexis had shed her clothing for the momentous farewell party.  She had stood naked in the hut, residually bashful at the exposure, where Mulmulum had dressed her in a traditional grass skirt that parted scandalously over her shapely thighs.  When no other offer of clothing was made to complement the sarong, Alexis had motioned theatrically at her breasts.  Mulmulum shook her head stubbornly. 

“
Mulmulum, please.  I won’t be able to relax,” she said more with her eyes than her words.  Mulmulum cocked her head and sighed with exaggerated disapproval.  She called to her daughter, and moments later the half-moon grin appeared, small hands clutching a modest leather cloth.  To complete the ensemble, Mulmulum had proudly presented her with a long string of azure clay beads, the center adored with a fearsome boar tooth. 

“Thank you,” Alexis had choked in Mulmulum’s native tongue.  They pressed their bodies close in a vice-like embrace. 

Now in the chief’s hut, Lewis sniffed with laughter as he examined his companion’s expression.  Alexis’ eyes were saucers, her mouth sagging slightly in bewilderment.  “What are you thinking, right now?” he whispered close to her ear, his hand falling softly over her shoulder. 

Alexis shook her head, a smile inching wide ac
ross her face.  “I’m awe-struck,” she gushed, her voice reedy with emotion.  “And so humbled.  I had no idea they would send us off with such ceremony.” 

“They’ve grown accustomed to having you around.  They will miss you, Alexis.” 

Alexis did not notice that his words were threaded with nostalgia of his own, or that he gazed at her now so intently.  She merely nodded through the thick veil of delighted stupor.  The throng of gyrating dancers parted slightly, and Alexis saw a small woman emerge, head bobbing as she approached.  It was Minata, the medicine woman who had cared for her so diligently the previous weeks.  The loose flesh around her toothless grin pulled up in affection, and she patted Alexis’ hands. 

“She wants you to dance,” Lew
is said, nudging her from the safety of the wall.

Alexis burst into
nervous laughter.  “I…uh…I don’t know how to dance.  I mean…not to this music.”  The old medicine woman sensed Alexis’ reluctance and clasped her fingers more tightly.   She nodded her head insistently and began to bend her arthritic knees with the beat.  Alexis suddenly felt the intensity of the hut’s warmth, the temperature of every moving body’s heat gathering to explode in her cheeks and along her neck.

“No,” she tried protesting with a huge grin.  But resistance was futile, especially now that the old woman’s effort had caught the attention of the grand majority.  Excited laughter bubbled through the hu
t, and Alexis shrieked through nervous giggles as she felt the women’s hands coerce her toward the center.  She threw her head back, casting a desperate plea toward Lewis, but he replied with nothing more than a shrug of the shoulders and a hearty chuckle.  She knew she was lost to the whims of her new friends.

The men were hopping in unison now as they pounded against the long, hour-glass shaped drums.  Their monotonous pulse was pierce
d as the men, painted in a clay orange paste, opened their mouths and let loose a canon of melodic cries. The women joined, their movements feminine and fluid in the shoulders, their hips swaying in soft circles.  The dance mirrored the spring storms of the Highlands, Lewis had informed her when the group erupted into explosive movement.

Alexis blinked as beads of sweat plunged from her forehead over her lids.  In a single moment, she decided to let go.  She wa
s no longer looking at the room or the people around her as a spectacle.  She no longer heard the music as she would listen to her gramophone or even a live band, an interested, but detached observer.  She was absorbed in this moment, she belonged to it, and her body moved as though possessed.  When she saw the curious, absorbed gazes of her fellow dancers flicker with amusement, Alexis’s face broke with laughter. 

And like the tempests which had opened up above the small village throughout her days there, the fierce pulse which pulled at their bodie
s delivered a final blow.  In an instant, the dancers bodies became elastic and the room filled with breathy sighs of satisfaction.  A chorus of murmurs rippled above their heads and Alexis turned to Lewis.  He stood against the wall of the hut, his eyes wide and soft, fixed intently on her.

The soft breeze cooled the perspiration on Alexis’ face as they stepped out of the hut.  Small fires burned along the perimeter of the village circle, populated by glowing faces, chatting animatedly.  Lewis grinned, his heart flapping in his chest as he put a hand on Alexis’ shoulder.  “You looked wonderful dancing,” he said, his vision clouding with the image of her dewy skin so brazenly displayed as she moved to the drums. 

Alexis laughed.  “I don’t know how I looked, Lewis.  But I felt great.  The music was so hypnotic!”  She almost blushed when she imagined the spectacle and her participation to the eyes of colleagues or friends back home.  But that world seemed so distant now, too distant to apply it against this moment.  “I’m feeling pretty clammy right now.  I might dip my toes in the stream.  Care to join me?” 

“Of course,” Lewis agreed, and he ushered her with his hand as they crossed the village. 

Alexis cocked her head for a moment, examining Lewis discreetly from the corner of her eye.  She couldn’t pinpoint it, but something was
askew.  He hadn’t said or done anything out of the ordinary.  But she felt a heaviness in the current of energy that passed between them.  A tension that hadn’t been there before.  It felt like something had filled up and was on the cusp of brimming over. 

They reached the grassy bank of the stream and found two wide flat stones.  Alexis folded down and let her
bare legs sink deep into the bubbling coolness.  She sighed loudly for dramatic effect and Lewis took his place beside her.  “I can’t believe we’re leaving tomorrow, Lewis,” she remarked, her voice distracted.

“Alexis
,” Lewis said.

The breath in her lungs stopped short in her throat.  Maybe it was the fullness of his tone inside that small word, but she suddenly knew that he was telling her a secret.  She turned to him.  His eyes were soft
again under heavy lids.  She swallowed hard.

“Lewis,” she whispered, not sure what she was trying to say. 

He took her hand and held it a moment, and then with his other, traced his fingers against her forehead.  Her chest rose and plummeted now, her temples pounding white against her vision.  She couldn’t think straight.  She was paralyzed.  He leaned into her, holding his mouth just shy of an inch from her own.  She could feel his breath on her face, and for a moment she thought she could lose herself to him.  She wanted to forget Trevor, and what better way than to incinerate his memory in a single burning kiss? 

His lips were full and soft
, and he let them graze her mouth like a feather before he kissed her hard.  He moaned, a sigh that spoke of overdue release, of pent-up yearning.  She wanted to want him that way, too.  She wanted to be consumed with desire and wrap her arms around this man.  She knew instantly that he loved her.  It had been in his eyes, and now he kissed her with the tenderness of a lover making a confession without words.  She could have loved him, she thought.  She could have loved him before. 

She took her hand from his, put it against hi
s the firm expanse of his chest and pushed gently.  He let his face fall back from hers.  She saw the apple in his throat move hard as he swallowed.  “Alexis,” he said again.

She suddenly wanted to cry.  She blinked furiously, hoping the night would be kind enough to hide
her tears.  “Lewis, please,” she squeaked, her voice unconvincing.

A thick,
awkward silence oozed between them, overriding the distant chatter of villagers, the babbling brook, the wind in the trees.  “I’m sorry, Alexis.  I can’t help it.”  Lewis pulled back and let his hands fall into his lap.  He turned his head, looked away from her.  “I guess I hoped you might feel the same.”

Alexis touched his forearm.  “Lewis.  You’re one of the most amazing men I’ve ever met.  I…..I wish I weren’t having to tell you that right now…. I mean….not like this.  It sounds so contrite – but I couldn’t be more sincere.”  She bit hard against her lower lip.  “The moment you arrived, I fell in love
with everything about you...”

“What are you saying
, Alexis?  How can you say that...and then pull away?”