The Madam (22 page)

Now…don’t get confused and interpret my
honesty for weakness. I was still very much a hardcore bitch; you
don’t run an empire by being nice. I still needed to instill fear
and curiosity; it was a necessity to understand that I was always
going to be a wildcard. You bark at me and I bite back. I was a
double-edged sword and you didn’t fuck with me. They knew not to
mistake my kindness for weakness; I didn’t have to explain it. It
was an entitlement for me. I was one lucky bitch to get the cards
that I was dealt and I wasn’t stupid enough to take that for
granted.

From the second I was born I was handed a
silver spoon and I made sure that my VIPs felt precisely the same
way. They were treasured jewels. The clients were aware of this as
much as the girls were; becoming a client of VIP was like trying to
join the CIA. There were certain characteristics and charisma you
needed to carry in order to have one of my girls. I made sure that
they were wined and dined before any sexual act were to occur. It
was essential that VIP stood for something other than Very
Important Pussy. The principle behind it was indispensible.

My father still stayed in and out of my life,
but like I said before, I always made time for him when he wanted
to see me. I sat in my office waiting for him to arrive one
afternoon. The door opened and I didn’t have to look up to know
that he was disappointed. The atmosphere of the room dropped
significantly from light to dark; he was coming in to battle. I
should have expected it.

He walked over to me and sat on the chair and
I didn’t bother to look up.

“Tell me it’s not true,” he pleaded. It was
the first time I had heard desperation in my father’s voice. I
braced myself before I looked up, and when I finally did his eyes
were glossy. We stayed silent, just staring at each other for a few
seconds; I didn’t have to answer for him to know the truth. He knew
it the minute he walked into the office, maybe even before
that.

“Lilith,” he tested.

I cocked my head to the side and corrected
him, “Madam.” His head fell down in shame.

“What do you want from me? What did you
expect? I’m not here to point fingers or anything, but fathers who
live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.”

“I didn’t want this for you,” he said barely
above a whisper.

“We don’t always get what we want, now do we?
I don’t know why you’re so concerned; it never stopped you before.
Don’t cause yourself more grey hair, I am sitting pretty,” I
reminded.

“I hate this. You have no idea what life
awaits you. You’re already changing. I noticed it the minute I
walked into the room. VIP will consume you. You will never have a
real life. It will eat you up and spit you right back out.”

“Who the hell do you think you are? You have
no right to come in here and judge me for my choices and decisions,
not one goddamn right…you need to remember that you may be my
father by blood, but that’s all we share. There is no
father-daughter bonding between us. I see you because I choose to,
not because I have to. If you’d like me to change that, then I
gladly will. But don’t come in here and pretend we are anything
more than blood,” I scorned.

He looked up and there were tears falling
from his eyes. “I failed you.”

I laughed. “You failed me from the day I was
born. Let’s not pretend to play house, it’s not a good look for
you,” I tormented.

“I can’t see you like this. I won’t. I
watched VIP destroy your mother, I can’t go through that
again.”

I shook my head and sighed. “The door is
right behind you; don’t let it hit you on the way out.”

“I love you, Lilith. I never thought it would
come to this. I never imagined that you would actually take over. I
thought you would find love, a nice man to give you a family.
Something, anything other than this,” he suggested.

“You have no idea who I am, you never have. I
was made to do this! It’s my fucking destiny. I will never be like
my mother; I will be so much better. VIP is my legacy. If you can’t
stand to watch me succeed then you need to get the fuck out. I have
never needed you in my life. I didn’t ask you for anything, ever!
If you want to pretend like we are more than what we are to each
other and you want to win the father of the year award, then you
need to call your other children for that. This one has no idea who
you are other than someone who comes around when it’s convenient
for him.” I took a deep breath and stood up to walk around the
desk.

“I don’t need you in my life. If you want to
continue to see me then I will make time for you, like I always
have. You want to leave and never come back, then that’s your
choice. Decisions are a very personal thing. You made your bed, now
it’s time to lie in it,” I spewed.

“You want to know what the most frightening
thing is, it’s change. Even though it happens every single fucking
day, it still scares the shit out of us. That’s the difference
between you and I. I look for change in my life, I am not scared of
anything and I didn’t inherit that from you, Daddy. Call my mother
whatever you want, but at the end of the day, I am The Madam,” I
reminded.

He looked up at me. “I won’t be around for
this. If you continue, I won’t see you again.”

“Is that supposed to stop me?” I laughed.
“You haven’t been around my entire life; your threats don’t mean
shit to me. Do you understand? You gave me life and that’s as far
as it goes,” I stated.

The worst part of this whole conversation is
that I didn’t mean one fucking word I was saying. As much as my
father hadn’t been in my life, I still wanted the bits and pieces
that I did have. He was the only family I had.

But…I don’t do ultimatums for anyone. I don’t
care who you are.

He stood up, walked over to me, and pulled me
into a hug.

“I can’t do it again. It’s like I am staring
into the face of your mother. I have always been a selfish man and
I never did right by you. I am fully aware of that, but I just
can’t do it. You will always be the best thing I created. I have no
one to blame but myself for the outcome of your life. I cannot
stand around and watch it go down…I just can’t. My only hope is
that one day you will understand and you will forgive me, Lilith,”
he whispered in my ear.

I awkwardly wrapped my arms around him and he
squeezed me harder. I could feel the tears coming down his face. We
broke away from each other and he kissed my forehead, both cheeks,
and the tip of my nose before he turned and walked out of my
life.

I sat back in my office chair and overlooked
my empire.

I had the world at my disposal. Absolutely
anything I ever wanted I could have. Except love…

I was alone.

I shed one lonely tear and swore to myself
that I would never cry for another man again.

The
year was 1992 and I was thirty-two years old. It had been five and
a half years since I had taken over. The last five were probably
the most pivotal in my growth as The Madam. I built a solid
foundation for VIP with the clients, the city, and of course the
girls. Miami changed in more ways than one. On August 24th of that
year, hurricane Andrew made his appearance known to all of Florida,
especially Miami, causing over twenty-five billion dollars in
damage alone. It was the strongest hurricane to hit Florida in
thirty years. The downfall was severe.

Miami was completely unprepared for a
hurricane of that measure, during and after its effect. The city
was in debt and it took a really long time for it to get back on
its feet; slowly but surely it did. However, just because the city
was in debt didn’t mean people weren’t spending money. The rich
always get richer; it’s a well-known fact, the reality of life, my
friends.

The nineties were also the time of mainstream
sex. The seventies and eighties did everything behind closed doors.
The nineties said “fuck that”. Women wore bikinis that showed off
everything, thongs became a thing of the norm, including women
walking around topless on South Beach. Playboy took over the world;
it was everywhere. Hugh Hefner was the man of the hour, his empire
was everywhere and it did wonders for VIP.

The nineties were also the time for blondes
to have more fun, they were everywhere and men were crazy about
them! They all wanted the California girl, and the face of beauty
was a needle and a scalpel away from being you. Plastic surgeons
were all over South Beach. Everyone wanted a quick fix. It started
the era of instant gratification; from cell phones, to the
internet. VIP became much more accessible to old and new clients. I
had all black business cards made up with silver VIP lettering on
the front and the number and address on the back. It gave clients
the liberty to market for me without me having to lift a
finger.

It was genius.

I spent most of my time in my office believe
it or not. VIP almost ran itself…almost.

The door opened and Mika walked in with
coffee in one hand and a box of donuts in the other.

“Get that shit out of my office, Mika. You
know I can’t eat that, but I will take the coffee.” He sat down in
the chair and opened the box; I could smell the calories from
behind the desk.

“You never fucking eat, Angel. A donut isn’t
going to kill you and you’re gorgeous, so shut it,” he said.

I rolled my eyes. “What are you doing
here?”

“I came to see you and to bring you
breakfast. You’re welcome.” He grinned.

I rolled my eyes again. “Seriously…what are
you doing here?”

“I came to ask you something.”

“You could have picked up the phone.”

“I wanted to see your face. I miss it.” He
smiled at me again.

“Sweet talking me isn’t going to get you what
you want. Just come out with it. I don’t have time to fuck around
today. I have a plane to catch in a few hours,” I announced, trying
to make sure I had all the paperwork I needed.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“Switzerland,” I responded.

“Want some company?”

“No,” I said without hesitation. “It’s not
that kind of trip.”

“All the more reason for me to come.
Literally.”

I laughed, “Oh my God! What do you want?”

“Fine. There’s a gala in a few months; I want
you to go with me.”

I raised an eyebrow. “That’s what you came
over here to ask me?”

“Mmm hmm, Scouts Honor,” he said, raising
three fingers together in the air.

“I have to check my schedule but some of the
girls are going, I can set you up with one of them,” I stated,
trying to dismiss him.

“Angel,” he said in the tone that made my
panties wet. “If I wanted one of the girls I would have asked for
one. I didn’t. I want you.”

I sighed. “Mika, I don’t have time for your
shit today. I told you that I would see if I could; if I can’t,
then you’re out of luck.”

“Then make time,” he demanded.

This was Mika to a T. You would think that
over the years, I would have gotten used to him playing games with
me, but it was quite the opposite. He didn’t pussy foot around. The
more I ran and pushed him away the harder he pursued, that’s
definitely one thing I learned about him. It was just easier to
give him what he wanted and I got used to digging myself deeper
into a hole with him.

I was already ten feet under, how much
further could I possibly go?

“I told you. I will see.” I smiled and my
phone rang. I quickly answered it, trying to get Mika out of my
office. The fucker leaned further back in his chair, folded his
arms, and put his legs up on my desk. My eyes widened as I
continued my phone conversation and all he displayed was a smug
look on his face. I flicked him off and he laughed. I grabbed a
piece of paper and wrote on it.

L: Get your feet off my desk.

M: Make me.

L: You are incorrigible. Fine. I’ll go.

He grinned and left my office.

Two months came and went and The Gala was
upon us. It was a fundraiser for Hurricane Andrew and the wealthy
of Miami came out to share their support, and by that, I mean their
checkbooks. I dressed in a strapless lavender fitted gown that was
low cut, and my hair flowed loosely in large curls. Mika dressed in
a black tux with his hair tied back in a ponytail. He looked good
enough to eat.

I had several girls working the event and
they were all dressed to the nines. My girls were dime pieces,
every last one of them. The night started off with its usual
antics, mingling like you pretended to care what they were saying.
I had that down to an art, as did Mika. We worked the room
ridiculously well together and I always had men eating out of the
palm of my hand.

We were about midway through the night when I
felt something shift. Call it a sixth sense, woman’s intuition, or
just basic instinct. Someone tapped on my shoulder and Mika and I
turned. I recognized the man immediately; he was high profile in
Miami and one of VIP’s regular clients. I smiled when he leaned in
to give me a kiss on both cheeks.

When we pulled away from our embrace, my eyes
caught something from across the room and I couldn’t turn away. I
watched the next few seconds of my life happen in slow motion. He
was speaking to me, but I didn’t hear a word that came out of his
mouth. All I could hear was the sound of my heart beating its way
out of my chest. My ears were ringing from the palpitations and I
could feel my mouth hang open. It was the first time that I wanted
the earth to literally open up beneath me and swallow me whole.

We stared into each other’s eyes as the whole
room seemed to disappear in the background.

We knew who we were to each other.

All the memories came tumbling down on me and
I couldn’t breathe. I felt like I was suffocating from the emotions
that I felt in a split second, all of them hitting me at once, one
right after the other. I hadn’t felt any of it in almost two
decades. I didn’t think it was possible to feel so much and not
physically die.