The Man Who Couldn’t Stop (34 page)

‘
suicide
',
L. Solyom
et al
., ‘A Case of Self-Inflicted Leucotomy',
British Journal of Psychiatry
, 151 (1987), pp. 855–7.

‘
Claudius
',
K. Kane and A. Taub, ‘A History of Local Electrical Analgesis',
Pain
, 1 (1975), pp. 125–38.

‘
Interviewed
',
J. Horgan, ‘The Forgotten Era of Brain Chips',
Scientific American
(October 2005), pp. 67–73.

‘
Córdoba
',
J. Osmundsen, ‘Matador with a Radio Stops Wired Bull',
New York Times
(17 May 1965), p.1.

‘
Rhode Island … I guess doctor
',
J. Horgan, ‘The Forgotten Era of Brain Chips',
Scientific American
(October 2005), pp. 67–73.

‘
two-way communication
',
J. Delgado,
Physical Control of the Mind
(Irvington, 1971).

‘
Robert Heath
',
C. Moan and R. Heath, ‘Septal Stimulation for the Initiation of Heterosexual Behavior in a Homosexual Male',
Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry
, 3 (1972), pp. 23–30.

‘
Supreme Court
',
S. Beyer, ‘Thought Control and the First Amendment',
Behavioral Sciences and the Law
, 1 (1983), pp. 59–76.

‘
Michigan
',
Kaimowitz v. Michigan Department of Mental Health
, No. 73-19434-AW (Michigan, Wayne County Circuit Court, 10 July 1973). See
S. Beyer, ‘Thought Control and the First Amendment',
Behavioral Sciences and the Law
, 1 (1983), pp. 59–76.

‘
Breggin
',
P. Breggin,
US
Congressional Record
, 118 (26) (1972).

‘
Science
magazine
',
B. Culliton, ‘Psychosurgery: National Commission Issues Surprisingly Favourable Report',
Science
(15 October 1976), pp. 299–301.

‘
never happened
',
N. McLaughlin and B. Greenberg, ‘Other Biological Approaches to OCD', in G. Steketee,
The Oxford Handbook of Obsessive Compulsive and Spectrum Disorders
(Oxford University Press, 2012), p. 309.

FOURTEEN:
Politics and prejudice

‘
Walker
', ‘I'm a Fruitcake! (but That Doesn't Mean I Can't Work): MP Reveals His Battle Against OCD as He Campaigns Against Stigma of Mental Illness',
Daily Mail
online (16 June 2012).

‘
Kaufman
', ‘Veteran Labour MP Gerald Kaufman Blames Claim for Waterford Crystal Grapefruit Bowls on OCD',
Daily Mail
online (6 June 2009).

‘
child protection
',
P. Salkovskis, personal communication with the author (14 August 2013).

‘
Puleston-Davies
',
Presentation at OCD-UK conference at Cardiff University (10 November 2012).

‘
Cefalu
',
P. Cefalu, ‘What's So Funny About Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder?',
PMLA
,
124 (1) (2009), pp. 351–2.

‘
Lennard Davis
',
L. Davis,
Obsession: A History
(University of Chicago Press, 2008), p. 18.

‘
Tesla
',
M. Cheney,
Tesla: Man out of Time
(Touchstone, 2001).

FIFTEEN:
A new dimension

‘
officially reclassified
',
www.dsm5.org
.

‘
B.A.
',
R. Pitman, ‘Posttraumatic Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: A Case Study',
Comprehensive Psychiatry
, 34 (2) (1993), pp. 102–7.

‘
grim parade
',
P. de Silva and M. Marks, ‘The Role of Traumatic Experiences in the Genesis of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder',
Behaviour Research and Therapy
, 37 (1999), pp. 941–51.

‘
Arkansas
',
C. Badour
et al
., ‘Specificity of Fear and Disgust Experienced During Traumatic Interpersonal Victimization in Predicting Posttraumatic Stress and Contamination-Based Obsessive-Compulsive Symptoms',
Journal of Anxiety Disorders
, 26 (2012), pp. 590–98.

‘
develop schizophrenia
',
A. Morrison, ‘Psychosis and the Phenomenon of Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts' in D. Clark (ed.),
Intrusive Thoughts in Clinical Disorders: Theory, Research, and Treatment
(Guildford Press, 2005), pp. 175–9.

‘
less insight
',
M. Poyurovsky and L. Koran, ‘Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder with Schizotypy vs Schizophrenia with OCD: Diagnostic Dilemmas and Therapeutic Implications',
Journal of Psychiatric Research
, 39 (2005), pp. 399–408.

‘
full retreat
',
For example ‘A. Abbott Novartis to Shut Brain Research Facility',
Nature
, 480 (8 December 2011), pp. 161–2.

‘
thirteen years
',
D. Nutt and G. Goodwin, ‘Pharma Fears',
Public Service Review: European Science and Technology
, 14 (2012), pp. 129–30.

‘
rediscovered
',
W. Compton and S. Guze, ‘The Neo-Kraepelinian Revolution in Psychiatric Diagnosis',
European Archives of Psychiatry and Clinical Neuroscience
, 245 (1995), pp. 196–201.

‘
functional connectome
',
J. Buckholtz and A. Meyer-Lindenberg, ‘Psychopathology and the Human Connectome: Toward a Transdiagnostic Model of Risk for Mental Illness',
Neuron
, 74 (2012), pp. 990–1004.

‘
new project
',
T. Insel and B. Cuthbert, ‘Research Domain Criteria: Toward a New Classification Framework of Research on Mental Disorders',
American Journal of Psychiatry
, 167 (7) (2010), pp. 748–9.

‘
subclinical psychoses
',
W. Rössler
et al
., ‘Psychotic Experiences in the General Population: A Twenty-Year Prospective Community Study',
Schizophrenia Research
,
92 (2007), pp. 1–14.

‘
delusional ideation
',
E. Peters
et al
., ‘Measurement of Delusional Ideation in the Normal Population: Introducing the PDI (Peters et al. Delusional Inventory)',
Schizophrenia Bulletin
,
25 (3) (1999), pp. 553–76.

SIXTEEN:
Final thoughts

‘
high cliff'
,
D. Lafleur
et al
., ‘Traumatic Events and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder in Children and Adolescents: Is There a Link?',
Journal of Anxiety Disorders
, 25 (2011), pp. 513–19.

‘
Andersen
',
F. Toates and O. Coschug-Toates,
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
(Class, 2002), pp. 193–9.

 

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

My name is on the front, but a bunch of people helped to make this book. My agent Karolina Sutton turned a series of rambling thoughts into a solid idea. Liz Gough and then Cindy Chan at Pan Macmillan, together with Jon Butler, helped me translate that idea into a manuscript. Iain Lauchlan, Adam Rutherford, Tim Radford and Jack Rachman all commented on drafts. I asked Geoff Brumfiel to be rude about some early pages and he was.

Numerous friends and colleagues have encouraged and improved my writing over the years. I unfairly single out three for particular thanks: Vanessa Bridge, Peter Aldhous and Emily Wilson.

Sincere gratitude to Professor Naomi Fineberg and her team at the QEII Hospital in Welwyn Garden City for their compassion and professional insight; God bless the National Health Service. Thanks to Tim Appenzeller for giving me time off from a new job to attend their sessions.

Apologies to the friends who will say: ‘Gosh, I had no idea'. I did tell a handful and still appreciate the help offered by Debbie Brunt, Elaine Bond and Joy Edmondson. Thanks also to Andy and Tony Bailey, Giles Millington and my brother Douglas for times on the Boothen End that meant more to me than you knew.

As a father I understand how hard it must have been for my mum and dad to learn what I had been keeping from them. Their positive reaction since only emphasizes my original folly. Love and thanks to my wife Natalie for her patience, understanding and support. I do this for Lara and Dylan, my new obsession.

 

APPENDIX 1

Notes for a doctor, prepared by OCD-UK

To a professional who can help:

I think I have obsessive-compulsive disorder:

• It's hard for me to talk about this.

• Other people don't seem to understand.

• I've become secretive about my habits.

• I spend more than an hour each day feeling trapped by one or more of:

• Obsessive fears about contamination, resulting in compulsive washing.

• Obsessive fears about fire/flood/theft, resulting in compulsive checking.

• Anxiety leading to counting, arranging or aligning.

• Unfounded fears of unwittingly causing harm to or abuse of others.

• Horrible thoughts that I agonize over but can't get out of my head.

I'm now at the stage at which I need to appeal to you, as a professional, to help me.

OCD is seriously affecting my life. It's stealing my time and my ability to be happy, and:

• I can feel frequently and deeply depressed.

• Life at home can be difficult.

• It can be hard for me to work, study or travel.

• I can have problems making or keeping friendships and relationships.

• My self-confidence and self-esteem have hit an all-time low.

The charity OCD-UK has made me realize that I'm not alone in feeling the way that I do. It has also taught me that help can be found. Please offer me the help that I need to allow me to get my life back.

 

 

 

APPENDIX 2

Notes on thoughts about harming a child

To my health professional:

I think I have obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD):

• It's hard for me to talk about this.

• My OCD differs from the more well-known perception of OCD.

• I am scared to talk about it.

• It's impacting my life and my daily functioning.

• I spend more than an hour a day obsessing and fearing my thoughts.

I am now at the stage where I am visiting you to seek help from you, my health-care provider.

Can I please tell you about some of the thoughts that I am experiencing? They include some, or all of these:

• Distress because I fear I might be attracted to children, despite finding such thoughts abhorrent and against everything I believe in.

• Unwanted thoughts/feelings/urges that cause me immense anxiety that I want to, or may in the future, or might have previously touched a child inappropriately or caused harm to them, even though I don't want to.

• Constant self-questioning whether or not these are wanted thoughts, and what the thoughts may mean or say about me.

• Avoidance of places where children are or might be.

OCD-UK have helped me understand that I am not alone in feeling the way that I do, and that this is a very commonly held belief by those affected by OCD. They have explained to me that these are all thoughts that both men and women can experience with OCD, and that having these thoughts does not place me at any higher risk of acting on these thoughts, or being a danger to children.

Please offer me the help that I need to change the way I deal with these thoughts. OCD-UK have told me that I need to access a form of treatment called Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), ideally with a therapist that fully understands this aspect of OCD.

Please don't be alarmed by my unwanted obsessive thoughts, these form part of OCD, which are not indicative of any real desire. If you're concerned about my thoughts, OCD-UK ask that you consult an OCD specialist before taking any action, and refer to the paper ‘Risk Assessment and Management in Obsessive Compulsive Disorder' by Veale, Freeston, Krebs, Heyman and Salkovskis.

 

A NOTE ABOUT THE AUTHOR

David Adam is a writer and editor at
Nature
, the world's leading scientific journal. Before that he was a specialist correspondent at
The Guardian
for seven years, writing on science, medicine and the environment. In 2006 his piece on carbon offsets was chosen by the Association of British Science Writers as the year's best newspaper feature on a science subject. He has reported from Antarctica, the Arctic, China and the depths of the Amazon jungle.

 

Sarah Crichton Books

Farrar, Straus and Giroux

18 West 18th Street, New York 10011

 

Copyright © 2014 by David Adam

All rights reserved

Originally published in 2014 by Picador, an imprint of Pan Macmillan, Great Britain

Published in the United States by Sarah Crichton Books / Farrar, Straus and Giroux

First American edition, 2015

 

Grateful acknowledgment is made for permission to reprint an excerpt from “This Be the Verse” from
Collected Poems
by Philip Larkin. Copyright © 1988, 2003 by the Estate of Philip Larkin. Reprinted by permission of Faber and Faber Ltd. and Farrar, Straus and Giroux.

 

eBooks may be purchased for business or promotional use. For information on bulk purchases, please contact Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department by writing to [email protected].

 

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Adam, David, 1972–

    The man who couldn't stop: OCD and the true story of a life lost in thought / David Adam.