The Memory Child (5 page)

Chad and Natasha, our neighbors two doors down, were headed our way. Their arms were linked while Natasha carried a basket. I liked them. Both Brian and I thought they were very real and personable. I even thought that Natasha and I might develop a friendship
of sorts.

My hands shook as I
sat there.

“Diane, come and say hi,” Nina said over her shoulder. Her voice was soft, so as not
to carry.

I gave a small shake of my head and swallowed past the lump in my throat. I didn’t want to say hi to anyone. I didn’t want to converse, chat, or make any kind of small talk. I didn’t want to have to explain anything to anyone about anything and I knew that is what I’d have to do.
Where is Brian? How is Grace? We haven’t seen you ou
t lately.

This was my life and no one else’s. I didn’t need busybodies i
n my way.

I jumped up from my chair and grabbed the bab
y monitor.

“I hear Grace. Say hi for me.” I rushed past her, and the screen door slammed b
ehind me.

I sank down on the bottom step of the stairs leading to the second floor, hidden away from prying eyes but close enough to listen to the conv
ersation.

“We just…wanted to drop these off and see if there was anything we could do for Diane,” Nat
asha said.

“Thank you. I’m sure she’ll love this,” Nina spoke up. She knew I remained
close by.

“This has to be such a difficult time for her.” Natasha’s sweet voice held a note of sympathy that hi
t me hard.

Why would she feel sorry for me? We barely knew each other. And why was this such a difficult time for me? Because Brian
was away?

“Thank you. I know she’ll love them.” Nina repeated her earlier
statement.

There was a moment of silence. I straightened up to look out the window and caught Chad’s gaze. There was a look in his eye—regret? Pity? I wa
sn’t sure.

“Let her know we are here if she ever needs us. With Brian’s…” Chad’s voice faltered when Nina coughed. “Right, well, um, well, we’re here. I’ll keep the grass trimmed, and all that…stuff.”

“And I’d be more than happy to give you a break if you wanted one,” Natasha added. “You know, to sit with Diane and have a cup of coffee or something. I’d been meaning to bake a cake lately. What’s her favorite kind? Do you think she’d li
ke that?”

I sank back down on the step and hugged my knees. From the way they talked, I sounded like a char
ity case.

Was I?

Shadows grew along the floor as I wandered aimlessly through the silent house with Grace in
my arms.

I wasn’t one for silence. There was something about it that un
nerved me.

If Brian were there, he’d have teased me that I don’t like to be alone with my own thoughts. He’d be partial
ly right.

I preferred to be surrounded by sound, whether it was music, the television, or the hum of the dishwasher. It really didn’t matter, as long as I wasn’t left alone i
n silence.

When I was growing up, our house was always quiet. Too quiet. My dad would sit in front of the muted television while he drank endless bottles of beer. I never understood how he could make it into work the next day until I realized he was a functioning alcoholic. It took me years to figure that out. I never knew, in that silence, what he would do if I were to turn my music up or ask him a
question.

I knew Nina didn’t like it, but I needed noise. I had a feeling she went throughout the day with the radio on low, whereas I always ended turning the volume up when I was home. I even left the television on upstairs in
the loft.

I knew Grace liked the noise. She seemed to sleep better, and smiled when I san
g to her.

I was restless, but not sure what it was I wanted or even need
ed to do.

“We’re housebound with nothing to do.” I kissed the top of Grace’s head as I made my way into m
y office.

It felt like forever since I’d last been in here. I’d told Nina to make use of it if she needed it. When I was on bed rest, I just stayed in my room. And since Grace…well, until recently, work had been the last thing o
n my mind.

I will admit, though, as hard as it was, going into the office had f
elt good.

Instead of going back full-time, I took Nina’s suggestion and started with two days a week. I’ll work my way up little by little, until I was more comfortable with leaving Grace for
that long.

I sat down in my big office chair and turned it so the sun was on
my face.

It beckoned me, calling to me to go back outside. I enjoyed it this morning. I almost felt normal, like all was right in
my world.

Sad how one small event could make me feel
that way.

I held Grace in front of me and had her stand on my legs. She was wobbly, but she seemed to enjoy bobbing up
and down.

From the corner of my eye I noticed a vehicle turn into my driveway, one I didn’t recognize. But the moment the car door opened, I knew w
ho it was.

I pushed myself up from the chair with excitement and rushed to the front door with Grace i
n my arms.

My baby sister
was here.

“Charlie!” I stood a few feet away from the screen door and waited for her to come in. Except she just st
ood there.

“Come in, come in.” I danced on the spot as I waited for her to open
the door.

It felt like years since I’d last seen her. But in reality, it had been only months. I couldn’t believe how much I m
issed her.

“Dee, you look…Oh my God, I’ve missed you.” She hesitated a few moments once inside before she dropped her bags on the floor and h
ugged me.

I wrapped my free arm around her as I snuggled Grace in tight to
my body.

Both of us had tears in our eyes as we looked at ea
ch other.

“It’s been too long,” we both said in unison before we
laughed.

We used to do that all the time, share the same thought and speak it at the s
ame time.

“What are you doing here? Where’s Marcus?” I was so happy to see her. I felt like a lightbulb had been turned on inside of me and I could hardly contain my excitement. “I thought you would still be in the Congo or some other godforsake
n place.”

Charlie worked for Doctors Without Borders as a pediatric nurse along with her fiancé, Dr. Marc
us Hilroy.

“I took some vacation time to spend with my big sis.” Charlie planted a kiss on my cheek before she glanced
at Grace.

Finally! I couldn’t wait to intro
duce them.

“Charlie, meet your niece, Grace.” I held Grace out and waited for Charlie to take her. It was very rare for me to let anyone other than Nina hold Grace, but this was d
ifferent.

Charlie hesitated before she gathered Grace in her arms. For a moment it looked like she didn’t know what to do with a baby. She jostled Grace around a bit before she got her settled in the crook of
her arm.

“Isn’t she beautiful? She reminds me of one of those Precious Moments figurines Mags used to make us dust every Saturday morning before we were allowed to go out
to play.”

Our Aunt Maggie raised us after our mother’s death. She was amazing, and I wished she could have met Grace. She would have loved her. Unfortunately, Mags had passed away from breast cancer three year
s earlier.

A crooked smile formed on Charl
ie’s face.

“Remember how mad she got when we broke a few pieces?” Mirth danced in her eyes at t
he memory.

I laughed. I’d forgotten all about that. Aunt Mags rarely disciplined us, but that day we’d been caught fooling around with her figurines when we were supposed to be dusting the shelves. Charlie had dropped one, but I covered up for it and said it was my fault. She knew we’d been lying and she sent us to our room with only toast and milk fo
r supper.

“She was more upset with us for lying than for her doll being broken.” I gazed at Grace in Charlie’s arms. “She looks just like one of those dolls.” I reached for Grace, wanting her back in
my arms.

“That she does.” Charlie rubbed the back of her neck while she look
ed around.

I eyed the bags by the front door. “How long can y
ou stay?”

“As long as you
need me.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that. Charlie rarely stayed in one place long when she was in between missions with Doctors Without Borders. She loved to see the world and experience new things. In her late twenties and newly engaged, she rarely traveled anywhere without Marcus now, and they preferred to keep their downtime as light and carefree as they could, which never surprised me. Charlie was a ray of sunshine in an otherwise dark world. She always had been. I worked hard to make sure she was never touched by the heartache in
our lives.

I led the way down the hallway and trusted she’d foll
ow along.

“Coffee?” I called over my
shoulder.

“Dear Lord, yes, please! I came straight from the airport and haven’t had a good cup of coffee since my layover at
Heathrow.”

I set Grace down in the playpen I’d set up earlier when Nina had first left and grabbed the carafe of coffee I’d mad
e earlier.

“So what’s with the sudden visit? I thought you wouldn’t be back till Christmas this time?” I poured two cups before she answered, filled them both with cream, and set them on the table. I then grabbed two scones from a container and placed them by a small container with butter
and jam.

“They let you near a stove?” Charlie eyed t
he scones.

“What? Ha ha, very funny.” I loved to cook, but Brian was the baker in the family. No matter how many times I tried, the only things I could bake came out of a box and all I had to do was mix
and pour.

“Store bought?” Charlie sighed as she cut her scone and started to slather
jam on it.

“No, my nanny’s quite th
e baker.”

Charlie’s hand stilled. “A na…nanny?” She stumbled over
the word.

She must be tired. I explained how Nina came to stay with us and tried to dismiss the concern in
her eyes.

“I wish Brian were here. He’d love to see you. You should have called him when you landed in London. I’m sure he would have come to see you. He was quite jealous about this latest trip of yours, you know. It’s always been a dream of his to go to
Africa.”

“About that.” She stirred her coffee and wouldn’t look me in the eyes. “How are yo
u doing?”

“Fine.” I shrugged. “It’s hard not having him here, raising Grace alone. But…” Charlie put her hand on mine and I glanced over at my little girl. Yes, it was hard being a single parent, but I wouldn’t trade having Grace for the world. Besides, it wouldn’t be for long. Brian would come home soon. Putting my hand over Charlie’s, I asked, “Does Walter know you’re back? You know he’d love to
see you.”

“I called him when I landed.” She stared down at
the floor.

I tried not to let that bother me, bu
t it did.

“I should invite him over for dinner. It’s been a while since he’s
been by.”

Charlie winced. “I think he mentioned plans tonight. I told him I’d drop by for coffee one d
ay soon.”

“Or”—I smiled—“he could come here. You know, I don’t think he’s ever met Grace. Oh wait…he stopped by once and left a gift. A doll, a
ctually.”

“A doll.” Charlie turned her head slightly away from me and glanced over tow
ard Grace.

“It’s so cute. It almost looks exactly like Grace too. You’ll have to see it.” I kept the doll in Grace’s crib. I couldn’t wait till she was older and played
with it.

I picked up my coffee cup and smiled. “Do you remember how Mags used to love holding a hot cup of water between her hands? She swore it was the fastest way to warm up
a body.”

“I do.” Charlie nodded. “What’s with the avoidance?” She reached for my hand. “How are y
ou doing?”

“I’m fine. Is that what you want to hear? I’m fine.” I knew what she was hinting at, but I wasn’t about to go there. All discussions of our mother were strictly pr
ohibited.

“Diane.” Charlie sighed. “Don’t shut me out, okay? I’m worried about you. For you. I came back as soon as I could. This isn’t a time for you to b
e alone.”