The Merry Wives of Windsor (6 page)

MISTRESS QUICKLY
What, John Rugby! I pray thee go to the

casement and see if you can see my master, Master Doctor

Caius, coming. If he do, i’faith, and find anybody in the

house, here will be an
old
⁴
abusing of God’s patience and the

King’s English.

RUGBY
I’ll go watch.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
Go, and we’ll have a
posset
for’t
soon at night
⁷
,

in faith, at the latter end of a
sea-coal
⁸
fire.—

An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in

house
withal
, and, I warrant you, no tell-tale nor no
breed-
¹⁰

bate. His worst fault is that he is given to prayer, he is

something
peevish
¹²
that way, but nobody but has his fault.

But let that pass. Peter Simple you say your name is?

SIMPLE
    Ay, for
fault
¹⁴
of a better.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
    And Master Slender’s your master?

SIMPLE
    Ay, forsooth.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
    Does he not wear a great round beard, like a

glover
’s
paring-knife
¹⁸
?

SIMPLE
    No, forsooth, he hath but a little wee face, with a

little yellow beard: a
Cain
-
coloured
²⁰
beard.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
    A
softly-sprighted
²¹
man, is he not?

SIMPLE
    Ay, forsooth, but he is
as tall a man of his hands
²²
as

any is
between this and his head
²³
. He hath fought with a

warrener
²⁴
.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
    How say you? O, I should remember him:

does he not hold up his head, as it were, and strut in his gait?

SIMPLE
    Yes, indeed, does he.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
    Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse

fortune. Tell Master Parson Evans I will do what I can for

your master. Anne is a good girl, and I wish—

RUGBY
    
Out, alas!
³¹
Here comes my master.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
    We shall all be
shent
³²
. Run in here,

good young man, go into this
closet
³³
. He will not stay long.

What, John Rugby? John! What, John, I say?

Go, John, go inquire for my master. I
doubt
³⁵
he be not well,

that he comes not home.

And down, down, adown-a
³⁷
, etc.

CAIUS
    Vat is you sing? I do not like des
toys
³⁸
. Pray you, go

and vetch me in my closet
une boîtie en vert
³⁹
: a box, a green-a

box.
Do intend
⁴⁰
vat I speak? A green-a box.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
    Ay, forsooth, I’ll fetch it you.— I am

glad he went not in himself. If he had found the young man,

he would have been
horn-mad
⁴³
.

CAIUS
    
Fe, fe, fe, fe,
ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je m’en vais voir à
⁴⁴

le
Court
la grande affaire
.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
    Is it this, sir?

CAIUS
    
Oui, mette-le au mon
pocket.
Dépêche
⁴⁷
, quickly. Vere is

dat knave Rugby?

MISTRESS QUICKLY
    What, John Rugby? John?

RUGBY
    Here, sir!

CAIUS
    You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby. Come,

take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to the court.

RUGBY
    ’Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.

CAIUS
    By my
trot
, I tarry too long.
Od’s me
,
que ai-je oublié
⁵⁴
.

Dere is some
simples
⁵⁵
in my closet dat I vill not for the varld I

shall leave behind.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
    Ay me, he’ll find the young man there and

be mad.

CAIUS
    O
diable
, diable!
Vat is in my closet? Villain,
larron
⁵⁹
!

Rugby, my rapier!

MISTRESS QUICKLY
    Good master, be content.

CAIUS
Wherefore shall I be content-a?

MISTRESS QUICKLY
    The young man is an honest man.

CAIUS
What shall de honest man do in my closet? Dere is

no honest man dat shall come in my closet.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
    I beseech you be not so
phlegmatic
⁶⁶
. Hear the

truth
of
⁶⁷
it: he came of an errand to me, from Parson Hugh.

CAIUS
    Vell.

SIMPLE
    Ay, forsooth, to desire her to—

MISTRESS QUICKLY
    Peace, I pray you.

CAIUS
    Peace-a your tongue. Speak-a

your tale.

SIMPLE
    To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to

speak a good word to Mistress Anne Page for my master in

the way of marriage.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
    This is all, indeed, la! But I’ll
ne’er put my
⁷⁶

finger in the fire, and need not.

CAIUS
Sir Hugh send-a you? Rugby,
baillez
⁷⁸
me some paper.

Tarry you a little-a while.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
    I am glad he is so quiet. If he

had been throughly moved, you should have heard him so

loud and so
melancholy
⁸²
. But notwithstanding, man, I’ll do

you
your master what good I can: and the very
yea and the
⁸³

no is, the French doctor, my master — I may call him my

master, look you, for I keep his house, and I wash, wring, brew,

bake, scour,
dress meat
⁸⁶
and drink, make the beds and

do all myself—

SIMPLE
    ’Tis a great
charge
⁸⁸
to come under one

body’s hand.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
    Are you
avised
o’that?
You
⁹⁰

shall find it a great charge, and to be up early and down late.

But notwithstanding — to tell you in your ear,
I would have
⁹²

no words of it — my master himself is in love with Mistress

Anne Page. But notwithstanding that, I know Anne’s mind

95— that’s neither here nor there.

CAIUS
You
jack’nape
⁹⁶
, give-a this letter to

Sir Hugh. By
gar
⁹⁷
, it is a shallenge. I will cut his

troat in de
park
⁹⁸
, and I will teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest

to
meddle or make
⁹⁹
.— You may be gone. It is not

good you tarry here.— By gar, I will cut all his two
stones
¹⁰⁰
. By

gar, he shall not have a stone to throw at his dog.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
    Alas, he speaks but for his friend.

CAIUS
It is no matter-a
ver
¹⁰³
dat: do not you tell-a me dat I

shall have Anne Page for myself? By gar, I vill kill de
Jack
¹⁰⁴

priest: and I have appointed mine host of de
Jarteer
¹⁰⁵
to

measure our weapon
¹⁰⁶
. By gar, I will myself have Anne Page.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
    Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well.

We must give folks leave to
prate
.
What the good-year
¹⁰⁸
!

CAIUS
    Rugby, come to the court with me.—

By gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your

head out of my door. Follow my heels, Rugby.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
    You shall have
An
¹¹²
—

fool’s-head of your own. No, I know Anne’s mind for that:

never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne’s mind than

I do, nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven.

FENTON
    Who’s within there, ho?

MISTRESS QUICKLY
    Who’s there, I
trow
? Come
near
¹¹⁷
the house, I

pray you.

FENTON
    How now, good woman? How dost thou?

MISTRESS QUICKLY
    The better that it pleases your good worship

to ask.

FENTON
    What news? How does pretty Mistress Anne?

MISTRESS QUICKLY
    In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and
honest
¹²³
,

and gentle, and one that is your
friend
¹²⁴
— I can tell you that

by the way — I praise heaven for it.

FENTON
    Shall I do any good, thinkest thou? Shall I not lose

my suit?

MISTRESS QUICKLY
    Troth, sir, all is in his hands above: but

notwithstanding, Master Fenton, I’ll be sworn on a
book
¹²⁹
she

loves you. Have not your worship a wart above your eye?

FENTON
    Yes, marry, have I. What of that?

MISTRESS QUICKLY
    Well, thereby hangs a tale: good faith,
it is
¹³²

such another
Nan
—but, I
detest
¹³³
, an honest maid as ever

broke bread. We had an hour’s talk of that wart. I shall

never laugh but in that maid’s company. But, indeed, she is

given too much to
allicholy
¹³⁶
and musing. But for you — well,

go to
¹³⁷
—

FENTON
    Well, I shall see her today. Hold, there’s money for

thee: let me have thy
voice
¹³⁹
in my behalf. If thou see’st her

before me, commend me—

MISTRESS QUICKLY
    Will I? I’faith, that we will. And I will tell your

worship more of the wart the next time we have
confidence
¹⁴²
,

and of other wooers.

FENTON
    Well, farewell, I am in great haste now.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
    Farewell to your worship.

Truly, an honest gentleman. But Anne loves him not. For I

know Anne’s mind as well as another does.
Out upon’t
¹⁴⁷
, what

have I forgot?

MISTRESS PAGE
    What, have I
scaped
love-letters in the
holiday-
¹

time of my beauty, and am I now a subject for them? Let me