Read The Merry Wives of Windsor Online
Authors: William Shakespeare
Exeunt
running scene 4
Enter Mistress Quickly, Simple and John Rugby
MISTRESS QUICKLY
What, John Rugby! I pray thee go to the
casement and see if you can see my master, Master Doctor
Caius, coming. If he do, i’faith, and find anybody in the
house, here will be an
old
4
abusing of God’s patience and the
King’s English.
RUGBY
I’ll go watch.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Go, and we’ll have a
posset
for’t
soon at night
7
,
in faith, at the latter end of a
sea-coal
8
fire.—
[
Exit Rugby
]
An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in
house
withal
, and, I warrant you, no tell-tale nor no
breed-
10
bate. His worst fault is that he is given to prayer, he is
something
peevish
12
that way, but nobody but has his fault.
But let that pass. Peter Simple you say your name is?
SIMPLE
Ay, for
fault
14
of a better.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
And Master Slender’s your master?
SIMPLE
Ay, forsooth.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Does he not wear a great round beard, like a
SIMPLE
No, forsooth, he hath but a little wee face, with a
little yellow beard: a
Cain
-
coloured
20
beard.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
A
softly-sprighted
21
man, is he not?
SIMPLE
Ay, forsooth, but he is
as tall a man of his hands
22
as
any is
between this and his head
23
. He hath fought with a
MISTRESS QUICKLY
How say you? O, I should remember him:
does he not hold up his head, as it were, and strut in his gait?
SIMPLE
Yes, indeed, does he.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse
fortune. Tell Master Parson Evans I will do what I can for
your master. Anne is a good girl, and I wish—
RUGBY
Out, alas!
31
Here comes my master.
Within To Simple
MISTRESS QUICKLY
We shall all be
shent
32
. Run in here,
good young man, go into this
closet
33
. He will not stay long.
What, John Rugby? John! What, John, I say?
Simple goes into the closet
[
Enter Rugby
]
Go, John, go inquire for my master. I
doubt
35
he be not well,
that he comes not home.
[
Exit Rugby
]
She sings
[
Enter Caius
]
CAIUS
Vat is you sing? I do not like des
toys
38
. Pray you, go
and vetch me in my closet
une boîtie en vert
39
: a box, a green-a
box.
Do intend
40
vat I speak? A green-a box.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Ay, forsooth, I’ll fetch it you.— I am
Aside
glad he went not in himself. If he had found the young man,
he would have been
horn-mad
43
.
She goes into the closet
CAIUS
Fe, fe, fe, fe,
ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je m’en vais voir à
44
le
Court
la grande affaire
.
[
Enter Mistress Quickly with a box
]
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Is it this, sir?
CAIUS
Oui, mette-le au mon
pocket.
Dépêche
47
, quickly. Vere is
dat knave Rugby?
MISTRESS QUICKLY
What, John Rugby? John?
[
Enter Rugby
]
RUGBY
Here, sir!
CAIUS
You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby. Come,
take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to the court.
RUGBY
’Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.
CAIUS
By my
trot
, I tarry too long.
Od’s me
,
que ai-je oublié
54
.
Dere is some
simples
55
in my closet dat I vill not for the varld I
shall leave behind.
He goes into the closet
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Ay me, he’ll find the young man there and
be mad.
CAIUS
O
diable
, diable!
Vat is in my closet? Villain,
larron
59
!
Rugby, my rapier!
Within/Pulls Simple out
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Good master, be content.
CAIUS
Wherefore shall I be content-a?
MISTRESS QUICKLY
The young man is an honest man.
CAIUS
What shall de honest man do in my closet? Dere is
no honest man dat shall come in my closet.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
I beseech you be not so
phlegmatic
66
. Hear the
truth
of
67
it: he came of an errand to me, from Parson Hugh.
CAIUS
Vell.
SIMPLE
Ay, forsooth, to desire her to—
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Peace, I pray you.
CAIUS
Peace-a your tongue. Speak-a
your tale.
To Mistress Quickly/To Simple
SIMPLE
To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to
speak a good word to Mistress Anne Page for my master in
the way of marriage.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
This is all, indeed, la! But I’ll
ne’er put my
76
finger in the fire, and need not.
CAIUS
Sir Hugh send-a you? Rugby,
baillez
78
me some paper.
Tarry you a little-a while.
Rugby brings paper. Caius writes
MISTRESS QUICKLY
I am glad he is so quiet. If he
Aside to Simple
had been throughly moved, you should have heard him so
loud and so
melancholy
82
. But notwithstanding, man, I’ll do
you
your master what good I can: and the very
yea and the
83
no is, the French doctor, my master — I may call him my
master, look you, for I keep his house, and I wash, wring, brew,
bake, scour,
dress meat
86
and drink, make the beds and
do all myself—
SIMPLE
’Tis a great
charge
88
to come under one
Aside to Mistress Quickly
Aside to Simple
shall find it a great charge, and to be up early and down late.
But notwithstanding — to tell you in your ear,
I would have
92
no words of it — my master himself is in love with Mistress
Anne Page. But notwithstanding that, I know Anne’s mind
95— that’s neither here nor there.
CAIUS
You
jack’nape
96
, give-a this letter to
Gives a letter to Simple
Sir Hugh. By
gar
97
, it is a shallenge. I will cut his
troat in de
park
98
, and I will teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest
to
meddle or make
99
.— You may be gone. It is not
To Simple
good you tarry here.— By gar, I will cut all his two
stones
100
. By
gar, he shall not have a stone to throw at his dog.
[
Exit Simple
]
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Alas, he speaks but for his friend.
CAIUS
It is no matter-a
ver
103
dat: do not you tell-a me dat I
shall have Anne Page for myself? By gar, I vill kill de
Jack
104
priest: and I have appointed mine host of de
Jarteer
105
to
measure our weapon
106
. By gar, I will myself have Anne Page.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well.
We must give folks leave to
prate
.
What the good-year
108
!
CAIUS
Rugby, come to the court with me.—
To Mistress Quickly
By gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your
head out of my door. Follow my heels, Rugby.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
You shall have
An
112
—
[
Exeunt Caius and Rugby
]
fool’s-head of your own. No, I know Anne’s mind for that:
never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne’s mind than
I do, nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven.
FENTON
Who’s within there, ho?
Within
[
Enter Fenton
]
FENTON
How now, good woman? How dost thou?
MISTRESS QUICKLY
The better that it pleases your good worship
to ask.
FENTON
What news? How does pretty Mistress Anne?
MISTRESS QUICKLY
In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and
honest
123
,
and gentle, and one that is your
friend
124
— I can tell you that
by the way — I praise heaven for it.
FENTON
Shall I do any good, thinkest thou? Shall I not lose
my suit?
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Troth, sir, all is in his hands above: but
notwithstanding, Master Fenton, I’ll be sworn on a
book
129
she
loves you. Have not your worship a wart above your eye?
FENTON
Yes, marry, have I. What of that?
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Well, thereby hangs a tale: good faith,
it is
132
such another
Nan
—but, I
detest
133
, an honest maid as ever
broke bread. We had an hour’s talk of that wart. I shall
never laugh but in that maid’s company. But, indeed, she is
given too much to
allicholy
136
and musing. But for you — well,
FENTON
Well, I shall see her today. Hold, there’s money for
thee: let me have thy
voice
139
in my behalf. If thou see’st her
before me, commend me—
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Will I? I’faith, that we will. And I will tell your
worship more of the wart the next time we have
confidence
142
,
and of other wooers.
FENTON
Well, farewell, I am in great haste now.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Farewell to your worship.
[
Exit Fenton
]
Truly, an honest gentleman. But Anne loves him not. For I
know Anne’s mind as well as another does.
Out upon’t
147
, what
have I forgot?
Exit
running scene 5
Enter Mistress Page
With a letter