The Moment Keeper (21 page)

“When I’m gone…” she licked her dry, caked lips “…don’t spend a lot of money on a gravestone. I don’t need one. That marker the funeral home puts in the ground will be just fine.”

“Gram, seriously. Stop it.”

“And bury me in that floral dress I only wear for really special occasions. You know the one. I wore it when we went to that fancy restaurant to celebrate your sixteenth birthday.”

“Gram.”

She looked at me and narrowed her eyes. “You take whatever money we have and you go to college. OK?”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Sarah, I mean it. I talked to Mr. Little. He’ll take care of this old body when I’m done with it. Just call him. He knows what to do.”

I stopped listening to Gram. I felt the life inside of me kick and I just couldn’t imagine having this child without Gram or Bryan. I didn’t know if it was a boy or girl. All I knew was that I couldn’t be its mother – alone. And if I couldn’t be its mother, then what was I going to do?

There were times when I wanted to tell Gram everything. Times when I needed to tell her. Needed her advice or words of wisdom. But I didn’t say anything. She was too sick and there was no way I was going to give her more troubles to think about.

Even at school I was more quiet than normal. I don’t know if Tracey Carmichael was growing out of her meanness or if she just stopped caring about me, but even she wasn’t hassling me as much.

Cole and Olivia say goodbye to the last guest and head to the car.

“Did you notice how much Lexie and Bryce danced?” Olivia says. “Seemed to be some fireworks there.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.”

“How could you not notice? Every time there was a slow song, Bryce and Lexie danced. He didn’t let anyone else get near her.”

Cole opens the car door for Olivia. “Only girls notice that kind of stuff.”

Olivia turns toward Cole. “Did you notice the dress Ann was wearing?”

“Yes. Now that I noticed.”

Olivia hits him. “Figures! Now how could you notice that and not notice Lexie and Bryce dancing to every slow song?”

“Uh. I don’t know.”

“Could it be because there wasn’t much to Ann’s dress?”

“Uh. I hadn’t noticed.”

“Seriously, Cole. Fess up.”

“Well, it was pretty revealing. I thought for a minute that she had one of those boob jobs.”

“For the record, no boob job. I think she was wearing a push-up bra.”

“A what?”

“Push-up bra. It’s padded and makes your breasts look bigger. They make some that add two sizes.”

Olivia climbs in the car and Cole walks around to the other side and gets in.

“You know, Lib, that was a great party. And you were the most beautiful girl in the whole
place.”

“Nice recover.”

“No, seriously.” He reaches and brushes the blonde curls off her face, dusted with sparkly glitter. “I love everything about you and I love that you love me.”

Instinctively they lean toward one another and fall into a deep kiss.

I remember the first time Cole told Olivia that he loved her. They were sitting on swings in Olivia’s backyard. Stars blanketed the sky and Olivia pointed out the Big Dipper. Cole explained that the Big Dipper is formed from the seven brightest stars in the constellation Ursa Major, or Great Bear. And that according to Greek mythology, Zeus’ wife, jealous over his lust for a woman named Callisto, turned her into a bear. Callisto, while in bear form, encountered her son and just as he was about to kill her, not realizing it was his mother, Zeus hurls them both into the sky forming Ursa Major.

“How do you know such random stuff?” Olivia asked him.

They twisted their swings so they were facing each other.

“Here’s something I know that’s not random. Something I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time.”

Olivia bit her lower lip and tilted her head so her long curls cascaded down her left shoulder. Cole took her hands in his.

“I love you, Lib.”

And they kissed and got carried away and fell off the swings. Daisy, who had been chewing a bone nearby, started to bark at the commotion.

I will never forget that moment. It’s one I’ll show Olivia at the end.

“I better get you home,” Cole says. “I promised your mom and dad we wouldn’t be out late. But, I do want to give you my gift.”

Cole hands Olivia a long rectangular box. She peels back the pink and silver swirly paper, folding it to save. She opens the box and her jaw drops.

“It’s beautiful, Cole.” She lifts the silver heart-shaped pendant encrusted with small diamonds out of the box.

“Are you sure you like it?”

“No.” Olivia pauses. “I love it. Can you put it on?”

Olivia turns her back to Cole and he puts it around her creamy neck and fastens it. He kisses the nape of her neck. “God, you’re beautiful.”

She turns around to find his lips once more and eventually they head home.

Bryan gave me a heart pendant once. Of course, it was nothing like the one Cole gave Olivia. I’m pretty sure those were real diamonds. I saw the necklace Bryan bought me at a boutique in the mall. Still, I loved that necklace. It was the first and only time a guy ever gave me anything. It, too, was silver. No diamonds, though. Not even fake ones. But it was beautiful and I never took it off. Well, not until the end anyway.

Bryan was so excited the day he gave me the necklace. He picked me up after my shift at the grocery store. When I got in his car, I noticed his I-got-a-secret grin. It was the one where his closed mouth was higher on the left and pushed his cheek into his eye making his eye squint.

“Why are you grinning?” I asked. “You look like you’re up to something.”

“There’s something for you inside the glove box.”

I looked toward the box.

“Go ahead. Get it.”

I opened the glove box and found a long, rectangular gift wrapped in newspaper. I took it out. “Want me to open it now?”

Bryan nodded. I could tell he was happy. His eyes danced in the moonlight that seeped through the car windows. He held his breath while I tore off the paper and lifted the lid.

“Bryan, it’s beautiful,” I said, taking the necklace out of the box.

“I just wanted you to know that you’ll always have my heart, even when I’m not with you. This is a reminder.”

Tears gathered in my eyes. It was such a lovely thing to say and I wondered if he had practiced it much or if it just came to him. Either way I felt loved and wanted, which was why it was so hard for me when Bryan ditched me. No phone call. No last-minute visit. Nothing. How can you love someone so much and then just leave? Maybe that’s it. Maybe he didn’t love me as much as he said he did. Or maybe I made more of it than what was there.

As cruel as Tracey Carmichael had been to me my entire life, what Bryan did hurt me so much more. And the life growing inside of me each day was a reminder of the love we had and the love that was gone, to where I had no idea. All I knew was that it wasn’t with me.

I kept the necklace on, mostly out of hope that he would show up one day and tell me what a big jerk he had been. But he never showed up.

Chapter 32

Olivia jumps up and down in front of her mom, who is wearing a Bohemian floral head wrap instead of one of her custom-made wigs.

“So you really mean it, Mom? You’re better?”

“That’s what the doctor says. Everything is looking good.”

“How should we celebrate?” says Olivia, hugging her mom.

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“I’m all ears, Mom.”

“Dad and I were thinking about going away for the weekend.”

“Like where? And can Lexie come?”

Elizabeth bites her lip. “Dad and I were thinking that just we would go away.”

“No problem. You’re right. It should be a family thing. No Lexie.”

“Look, Lib,” Elizabeth says. “You know Dad and I love you. You’re the most important person in the whole world to us. But, well, we were thinking that just maybe the two of us would go away. You know. Kind of like a couple.”

Olivia hits her forehead with the palm of her hand. “Why didn’t you say so? Of course. Not a problem. Yes. Just you and Dad. How romantic.”

“I was hoping you’d say that. We haven’t gone away for a weekend, just the two of us, since you came into our lives. And, well, with the cancer and all. Dad just thought that maybe it’s about time we did. Plus you’re older. Grandma said she would come over if you wanted her to.”

“Mom. I’m sixteen. I think I can take care of myself for a few days. I think a romantic getaway is just what you and Dad need. It doesn’t take a doctor to know that you both have been super stressed lately and need some time alone to reconnect and unwind. Besides, I’m sure Lexie will come over if I ask her.”

I knew that Olivia had no plans to ask Lexie. As soon as she understood what her mom was trying to tell her and realized she would have the whole house to herself, something that had never happened, her mind shifted to Cole. How she could cook him a romantic dinner, hang out all night, watch their favorite movies and make out.

“So you’re sure you’re not mad?” Elizabeth asks.

Olivia is lost in her daydreams.

“Lib?”

“Oh, what? What?” Olivia says. “Did you say something?”

“I just want to make sure you’re not mad.”

“I’m not mad, Mom. I’m happy. Happy that you’re better. Happy that you and Dad are going away for the weekend. Happy that you adopted me and raised me and love me with all your hearts. Happy that I have the two best parents in the whole world.”

“You know, Lib, when we got you our lives changed forever. We had hoped for a child for so long. Dad wanted to name you Hope because you were everything we had hoped for. I had promised my grandmother that if I ever had a daughter I would name my daughter after her. So, you became Olivia Hope.”

“How come you didn’t tell me that before?” Olivia asks. “I mean, I knew I was named after your grandmother, but I didn’t know the Hope part, that Dad picked that name and why.”

“Well, now you know, sweetie. You’re everything and much more than we had hoped for.”

“Mom,” Olivia says, “I love you so much.” And she hugs her mother so tightly Elizabeth coughs.

If I had lived and had a daughter, I would have named her after Grandma, which means she would have been named Grace. And I would have given her my mom’s first name as her middle name, so she would have been named Grace Sue. I love that it pays respect to the two most important women in my life – the woman who gave her life for mine and the woman who raised me.

It took Grandma dying to finally tell me about my mom and my birth. How my mom had a lump on her back. How by the time she went to the doctors to have it checked, she was pregnant with me. How it was melanoma, the deadliest type of skin cancer. How the doctors told her that they could try to save her but it meant she would have to abort me. How Matt pleaded with her to get rid of me. Told her that they could have other babies. That she had to have the chemo. But she refused.

And so, as I grew in her, she grew weaker and weaker. By the time my due date approached, Grandma said my mom was bedridden. Her days dwindling. The end came much more quickly than anyone had expected. Mom was whisked into a bay in the emergency room on a sunny summer morning and delivered me via Caesarean and then died.

I asked Grandma if my mom saw me before she died. If she knew I had lived. Neither Gram nor Matt was allowed in the room while I was born. Everything was going wrong and the doctors didn’t want them in the way, Grandma explained.

“But,” Grandma said, “there was a nurse there and she came to visit a few weeks later. Said she’d been having trouble sleeping. Felt awful about your mom and you. Just had to see you. And she told me that she was right beside your mom when you were born and that the doctor laid you on your mom’s chest and that your mom felt you against her skin and smiled and then died. Just like that. She was waitin’ for you to be born. Making sure you were gonna be all right. And as soon as she knew, she stopped fighting to live and went to where she needed to go.”

Now that I know about moment keepers, I wonder about my mom. Who she’s keeping moments for. Or if she even has someone yet. Wendy told me that moment keepers don’t always return right away like me. Some wait years. It all depends on the great matchmaker. He decides who is going to be a moment keeper for whom and it’s not always who you think it might be or should be. Most times, Wendy said, there’s no relationship to the person in real life. I didn’t know Wendy. She wasn’t a relative or a neighbor. I had never even seen her before. And yet she was chosen for me for some reason. A reason I’m sure became known to Wendy at some point, or maybe not until the end.

“Hey, guess what,” Olivia tells Cole while she’s supposed to be studying in her room. “Mom and Dad are going away for the weekend. The whole weekend.”

“Does that mean what I think it means?”

“Yep. Whole house to myself. And did I say all weekend?”

Olivia draws out “all” for emphasis.

“So what do you have planned?” Cole asks.

“For starters, I’ll make you dinner on Saturday. I make a pretty wicked cheese omelet.”

“I like wicked. Then what?”

“Then we’ll have dessert. What do you want?”

“For dessert?”

“Yeah.”

“You.”

Olivia giggles. “I think I can arrange that.”

The teasing continues for a few minutes until Olivia hears a knock at her door and her mom’s voice.

“Gotta go. Mom’s coming.”

Olivia tosses her cell phone aside and picks up her book. “Come in.”

Elizabeth cracks the door and peeks in. “What’s ya reading?”

Olivia shows her the cover.

“The Catcher in the Rye. Now that’s a classic,” Elizabeth says. She walks over and sits on Olivia’s bed.

Olivia pinches the few remaining pages. “Almost done, see?”

“What do you think?” Elizabeth asks.

Olivia shrugs her shoulders. “OK, I guess. Hey, the part I just read reminded me of that carousel you and Dad used to take me to when I was little. It was at a park near Grandma’s house.”

“The one with the brass ring?” Elizabeth asks.