The Night Off (8 page)

Unfortunately, she didn’t really know anything about Emily Parker beyond the fact that she was achingly pretty, with a delightful penchant for kink. Also that she’d just given Nat the best sex of her life. It wasn’t much to go on as far as figuring out the perfect thing to say, but it was enough to intimidate the hell out of her.

Emily’s lower lip quivered. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin everything.”

Instinct took over. Nat used her thumbs to wipe away the tears that rolled down Emily’s face, then pressed a soft kiss on her forehead. “You didn’t ruin anything.” Though she didn’t think the tears were a response to physical pain, she had to check. “Did I hurt you?”

Wide-eyed, Emily shook her head. “Oh, no. Not at all. It was…” She smiled shyly. “Incredible. Thank you.”

“Yes, it was.” Relieved to be able to drop the stern mistress stuff, she gave Emily a playful eyebrow waggle. “
Incredibly
incredible.” Emily tightened her expression in an obvious effort not to dissolve. Alarmed, Nat cradled her face tenderly. “Hey, that wasn’t supposed to make you sad. The opposite, actually.”

“I know, and I appreciate that.” Emily fidgeted, making Nat uncomfortably aware that their lower halves were still intimately entwined. “I’m just a little embarrassed right now. I’m never this emotional.”

“Let me just—” Nat lifted herself up slightly, nodding between them. “I’m going to pull out now, okay?”

Emily nodded, twin tears sliding down her cheeks. “Okay.”

She withdrew as gently as she could, wincing along with Emily. “Sorry.”

“You’re fine.” Chuckling, Emily shook her head and swiped at the wetness on her cheeks. “Ignore the crying. It’s nothing, really. Endorphins.”

Nat rolled off to the side and studied Emily’s profile. As a little girl growing up, she had never aspired to be a sex worker. She honestly didn’t aspire to remain one much longer. However, the one thing this vocation had provided her was a terrific insight into human nature. Emily was clearly a woman who thrived on being seen as put together and in control. Her sudden, calm competence seemed like a well-practiced mask, making Nat suspect that she didn’t often confide in strangers.

That meant Nat had to tread lightly, approach her like a skittish animal. Putting aside the subject of Emily’s breakdown, she said, “Do you want me to get the other toy out?”

Emily blushed. “Yes, please.”

No longer in the heat of the moment, Nat battled an uncharacteristic twinge of shyness as she reached between Emily’s legs and grasped the base of the slim plug. “You need to help me with this one.” When Emily’s brown eyes found hers, she struggled not to join in her red-cheeked modesty. She hadn’t felt this awkward with a woman since she was a teenager. “Just…push.”

Emily did so with a self-conscious giggle, covering her eyes with the back of her hand as Nat extracted and then tossed the toy over the side of the bed. “Not something I’ve heard after sex before.”

“Here’s to new experiences,” Nat said lightly. She propped herself on her elbow, winking when Emily finally uncovered her face. “Did you enjoy it?”

For a woman who’d just been taken over the knee and spanked, then tied to a bed and forced to orgasm before getting fucked with a strap-on, Emily managed to look positively prim as she replied, “Very much.”

Emily’s innocence stirred her predatory lust, making it difficult not to reach for her again. The only thing that kept her from doing so was the knowledge that Emily was likely still troubled. Gentling her voice, Nat murmured, “I wasn’t kidding. I had a really,
really
nice time just now.” When Emily averted her gaze, Nat caught a lock of blond hair between her fingers and tested its softness. The caress instantly drew Emily’s attention back to her. “And no, I don’t say that to all my clients.”

Emily bit her lip, only partially able to hold back the smile that threatened to appear. “Just the ones who burst into tears afterwards?”

“Not even them.” Since beginning to choose her own clients, she had taken true pleasure from only a handful of appointments, but she always remained professionally detached. She doubted that Emily realized just how much she was putting herself out there. “You’d be the first, actually.”

A fresh tear tracked down Emily’s cheek into her hair. “God,” she mumbled, then swiped at her face and sat abruptly. “This is mortifying. I must seem so pathetic, so…” She exhaled, bringing her knees up so she could hide her face in them. “Weak.”

“Weak? No way.” Nat sat as well, trying to decide whether Emily wanted contact or space. Yearning to offer the former, she decided to take the chance that Emily would accept her touch. With an easy familiarity she hadn’t yet earned, Nat wrapped her arm around Emily’s waist. “No one who does what you just did is weak. You not only owned your sexual fantasy, you also found the courage to make it a reality. That takes guts.”

Emily snorted. “No, it takes money.” She lifted her face from her knees and offered Nat an apologetic look. “Don’t get me wrong. Tonight was…” Satisfaction ghosted over her face. “Magical. But it didn’t take guts—just two months’ salary.”

Guilt swept through Nat at the thought of accepting money for sex she absolutely would have had for free. Knowing it wasn’t the right time to broach that subject, she said, “Never mind the economics involved in bringing us together tonight. Submitting to me, trusting me to introduce brand-new experiences, required courage. Letting your secret, kinky self out to play? Also very brave. So no, you’re not weak. And this did take guts.” She ducked her head, pleased when Emily finally cracked a tiny smile. “Deal with it.”

“Yes, mistress.” Emily’s eyes twinkled playfully.

Only five minutes outside her third orgasm of the night and Emily Parker had her locked and loaded with just one look. Unbalanced, Nat dropped her gaze to her lap. The sight of the harness and dildo still strapped to her hips startled her. Mumbling an apology, she worked to free herself as Emily watched with obvious interest.

“You’re very talented with that.” Emily stretched out her legs and leaned away, giving her room to maneuver. “I liked it a lot.”

“I know you did.” Nat dropped her rig over the edge of the bed, thrilled by the way Emily flushed at her words. Unable to help herself, she kissed Emily’s warm cheek. “So did I.”

Emily turned slightly so their lips nearly brushed. “I was nervous about tonight, but you made it so easy. You’ve made me feel safe.”

“Good.”

“Honestly, you have no idea how much I needed this. I
really
needed it. So thank you, Nat. Truly. You were perfect.”

“You, too. A dream client.” She dragged her gaze up Emily’s body, ending at her sorrowful eyes. “So why are you so sad?”

Emily’s chin trembled. “I’m not.”

Raising an eyebrow, Nat scooted down and propped herself on her elbow. Then she brushed her lips over Emily’s thigh, hopeful that her affection was still welcome. “We don’t have to talk about it, but if you want to tell me, I’ll listen.” She paused. “I know what sadness looks like, Emily. I hate seeing it on you.”

Emily pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes, sighed, then slid down to lie beside Nat. She rested on her back and stared at the ceiling, adjusting the sheets to cover her bare breasts. “Is this typical? Do you often end up playing therapist to your clients?”

“Occasionally.” Nat edged closer to Emily, but didn’t touch her. She didn’t want to do anything to spook her out of bed. “Look, you don’t know me. I get that. But even if we’ve only spent a couple of hours together, I do care about you—really, truly—and if I can do anything to help, I’d like that very much.”

Emily laughed again, nervously. “Dark, handsome, dangerously sexy—yet also kind, compassionate, and scarily insightful. You must have women falling all over you.”

“I haven’t had a relationship in a long time.” Once again, Nat was surprised by the ease with which she revealed her personal life to Emily. “The only women I see are clients.”

“Well, then I’m sure you’re incredibly popular with your clients.”

Nat lifted a shoulder, both pleased and embarrassed by Emily’s words. According to Janis, she was the agency’s most requested escort. These days she took far more pride in her developing culinary skills and the new career she hoped to pursue with them, but she still reveled in the fact that she knew how to please a woman. “I do all right.”

“I’ll say.” Emily’s lower lip quivered. Her throat tensed as she gave Nat a self-derisive smile. “That was the best sex I’ve ever had.
Ever
. And I’ve never felt closer to anyone than I just did to you. How pathetic is that?”

Uncertain how best to react to that stunning confession, Nat simply trailed her fingers down Emily’s arm. “I can’t say I’m sorry to hear that, but I hate that it’s upset you.”

Emily hesitated, inhaled, and then suddenly words began pouring out. “I don’t date—no time for a relationship. There are too many other things on my plate. The sex I have had has been mostly awkward, very vanilla, and not even in the same universe as what we just did. Tonight was a crazy, extravagant gift to myself—and let me tell you, it was worth every cent.
So
worth it.” Another errant tear escaped, dripping onto the sheets. “But this wasn’t real. It was make-believe. So even though I loved every second of it, fucking you has somehow made me feel even lonelier than before. And that wasn’t what I expected.” She forced an unconvincing smile. “I’m okay, though. Honestly.”

Nat didn’t believe that for a second. “How do you feel about cuddling?”

Emily shrugged, her smile fading. “Not sure. But I wouldn’t mind trying it.”

It was hard to imagine how physical contact could be so foreign to a woman like Emily. Certainly it wasn’t for lack of interested suitors. Counting herself lucky to have somehow breached Emily’s obvious defenses, Nat opened her arms. “Another first?”

Emily moved into her embrace, all warm curves and soft skin. Without looking at Nat’s face, she easily settled against her with the comfort of a longtime lover. Nat buried her nose in Emily’s hair and kissed the crown of her head. Careful to keep her hands away from Emily’s most sensitive areas, Nat caressed her sides and her hips, putting just as much thought into holding Emily as she had into crafting their scene.

Emily exhaled deeply, her tense muscles finally starting to relax. “Honestly, I have tried cuddling a couple times. It wasn’t like this. I couldn’t relax with her—this girl I dated briefly in college. I remember wondering when it would end so I could leave. The sex was pretty good, but as soon as it was done, so was I.”

Nat chuckled into her hair. “She wasn’t the right one for you.”

“Maybe I was the one who wasn’t right.”

Giving Emily’s hip a gentle pinch, Nat murmured, “Stop.” Emily shifted a little, but Nat tugged her closer and held her tight. From the way Emily practically melted against her, it was clear that she still enjoyed her dominance. Good. “Cuddling is very intimate. I can’t enjoy it with someone I don’t trust. You probably can’t, either. You couldn’t relax because you didn’t trust her. That means she wasn’t the right one for you.”

Emily was quiet for a few moments, then pulled away, eyebrow cocked. “Oh my God. Are you one of those sappy, romantic types?”

“Deep down, yes. For the right woman.” Skirting the issue of her very real attraction, Nat steered the conversation back to Emily. “There’s nothing wrong with you. One day you’ll meet someone you trust. Someone you want to cuddle.” Unable to help noticing how naturally Emily fit into her arms, she trailed off. She wanted to lift Emily’s spirits, not freak her out with unprofessional stirrings.

“This does feel really nice,” Emily whispered, snuggling closer.

Nat closed her eyes. “So what do you have on your plate?”

“Excuse me?”

“You said you don’t date because you have too many other things on your plate. What kinds of things?” As much as she hated to admit it, Nat was hungry for details. So far Emily hadn’t presented herself as ideal girlfriend material, but Nat still needed to know everything. She couldn’t help it.

“My job, for one,” Emily said. “I’m an accountant at a large corporate firm.”

“That would be the place where I kidnapped you tonight.”

Emily swallowed audibly. “Yes.”

“So you’re a workaholic.”

“Sometimes.” Emily hesitated. “Raising my sister is what mostly keeps me busy.”

That was interesting. Nat opened her eyes. “How old is your sister?”

“Eighteen. I’ve had custody of her since she was twelve.”

Recalling Emily’s biographical information, Nat did the math. “You’re twenty-five now, so you’ve been raising her since you were, what, eighteen or nineteen?”

“Almost nineteen.”

Nat whistled. “Forced to grow up fast.” She knew what that was like.

“Our parents died shortly before I turned eighteen. It took a while before I could demonstrate that I was able to take care of Colleen. She was in foster care for over a year while I fought to get her back.” Emily’s voice wavered. “Unfortunately.”

“I’m sorry.” Wanting to offer her very real empathy for the tragedy of a lost childhood, Nat ignored the twinge in her gut that warned her not to get too personal. It was a little late for that, anyway. “I had to grow up fast, too. My mother left my father when I was just a couple months old. Apparently I ruined their lives and their relationship…or at least that’s what my father always told me. My mother died when I was two years old—beaten to death by her new boyfriend.” Emily’s soft lips brushed over her shoulder, sending a shiver through Nat’s body. “My father raised me after that. He never forgave me for her leaving him—or let me forget that I was a burden he wouldn’t have chosen to bear alone. I moved out of his house at sixteen.”

Emily sighed, pressing her hand to the center of Nat’s chest. “Sounds like neither of us won the parent lottery. Mine were addicts for almost my entire life. Mom did clean up for a bit when she was pregnant with my sister, but after Colleen was born it got so much worse.” She snorted quietly. “I remember being eight years old, making sure the baby got fed while they were passed out on the floor. I may have only gotten custody of Colleen six years ago, but I’ve been taking care of her for our entire lives.”