The Officer and the Secret (3 page)

Madison shrugged and went back to her reading. Well. Okay then. Veronica made a note to borrow the magazine later. Anything to continue helping ease her into modern America. TV was wonderful, but she liked magazines. It moved slower for her. She could take her time to absorb.

“You don’t mind if I invite someone over tonight, do you?”

The question startled Veronica out of staring at the woman with some bubbles taped to her dress. Why in the world would anyone choose a stage name like Gaga? And why did she want to look like a bubble factory? “No. Not at all. It’s your place.”

Madison sighed and tossed the magazine back on the coffee table. “It’s our place. You pay rent here too.”

“You were here first, though.” She was blessed Madison had offered the spare bedroom in the first place. She’d been staying with Skye and Tim. But as newlyweds, they deserved their privacy. There were only so many rooms of the townhouse she could escape to when the couple started looking romantically at each other.

“I don’t care who got the apartment first; it doesn’t matter. You’re my roommate, and my friend, so it’s our place. But it’s just Dwayne I’m talking about.”

Dwayne. The handsome Marine. Her, what had he called her? Skype buddy. The one with blue eyes that stared at her like he was seeing into her, through her. She felt a little buzz in her head but didn’t want to think about it. “That would be fine. I’ll stay out of your way.” She paused a moment, then went out on a limb. “Won’t Jeremy be upset with you spending time with another man?”

Madison’s eyes grew huge, and she flopped back on the couch and laughed, holding her stomach as if she had a bellyache. “Upset? About Dwayne? Dwa… oh my God… no!” That sent her into another fit of laughter.

Were relationships in America really so funny? Sadly, she couldn’t say, as the concept was foreign to her.

Finally Madison calmed down and wiped her eyes. “No. Dwayne is like another brother to me. He’s one of those guys that I love dearly… but not love like I love Jeremy.” Madison’s normally analytical and shrewd eyes went a little hazy at the mention of the man she loved. “Nobody’s gonna be like Jeremy, and the cocky bastard knows it. So no worries on that front.”

“Ah. I see.” No, she truly didn’t. Dating and men in general were still a scary subject. When she was just getting used to how fast and quick conversation flowed with slang on a daily basis, the thought of jumping in to meet men for the purpose of a relationship was daunting, to say the least. But it was something she knew she had to tackle. And soon.

“We just both like action movies, and since he’s missed all the new releases, I saved the one that came through last week from Netflix. I know how it is, coming back from deployment. Some people want to go out every night to bars and just be right back where they left things. But other people like to sort of slide back into the groove. D’s in the second half. So just chilling out around the house will be good for him.”

Chilling out. Relaxing. Right. “Makes sense.” Her life had never been easy, wasn’t designed that way. Relaxation was a sin, in her parents’ eyes. The Gibsons firmly believed discomfort was somehow a quicker road to God’s good side. But being at war was something even she couldn’t imagine. “Of course he can come over.”

“You sure you don’t mind?”

“No. Not at all.” Only a little. He was just so… large. And intimidating. The way he’d stared at her at the party the other night unnerved her, though she would not admit that to Madison. Or anyone else. The little mouse she used to be had no place in her new life. It wasn’t allowed. She needed to learn to stand up for herself and not be such a wimp.

“Great. You can join us if you want to. It’s an action movie. I know those aren’t your favorite. But still, if you’re bored you can hang with us.”

“I might. But I’m really tired. And I have some work to catch up on for school.” Another bone of contention that she hated to admit. Madison thought she was working on an associates degree through an online program. Veronica felt bad deceiving her, but when her roommate made the assumption, she didn’t correct her.

In reality, she was working toward her GED. Living in the world’s remote jungles did not make schoolwork an easy feat, and her parents just gave up after a while. She could read the Bible, so what more did she need?

Only Skye knew and was helping her catch up so she could take the test as soon as she felt ready.

Another secret. Another millstone hung around her neck, keeping her from experiencing real life to the fullest. She couldn’t wait to be through the process.

No, that wasn’t fair. Veronica breathed and did her best to push the bitterness from her mind. Many people would love to travel the world and traipse through thick, lush jungles and vast deserts.

Just not her. And not for what she had to sacrifice to do so. Too bad she had not had the choice.

“So when will he be here?”

“Probably around seven. We’ll order a pizza, if you want some.”

Pizza. Her favorite. “I would love some. Thanks for the offer.”

Madison stretched out on the couch so that her feet draped over Veronica’s lap. “No problem.”

This sort of friendship, with casual ease and no barriers, was something she’d always dreamed of. No language barrier to fight through. No cultural divides to conquer. Just simple girl-speak. No, girl-
talk
.

“So what did you think of Dwayne?”

“Hmm?”

“Dwayne. Was he what you were expecting, after all your Skype chats? I’m sure you had expectations.”

“Oh. He was nice.”
Imposing.
“He’s also very tall.”
Huge.
“His accent is nice.” She could listen to him talk for hours. He could probably read her GED prep book out loud and make it sound like a love sonnet.

Madison smiled. “That’s Dwayne. He’s a big teddy bear. All heart.”

Teddy bear? The man looked like he could rip a car apart with his bare hands.

“He seemed a little more tense than normal, though. I hope he’s okay. Sometimes guys have a little bit of trouble adjusting when they come home.”

The worry in her friend’s eyes made her sad. “Maybe he was just tired. The trip was a long one, I’m sure.”

Mad’s face cleared. “You’re right. Dwayne’s a tough one. I’m sure he’s fine. You’ll really like him. We all hang out a lot, the five of us. Well, six now that you’re here.”

Veronica was glad to hear it. Being one of the group was so exciting for her. Forced isolation for over twenty years will do that to a person.

Now if only she could get over the feeling of intimidation when Dwayne was around.

Dwayne knocked on the door of Madison’s apartment. Nothing. No way would Madison forget their movie date. Plus, her car was in the parking lot. He knocked again, harder.

“Coming.” The voice inside was definitely not Madison’s. But he would recognize it anywhere. That voice echoed in his dreams… at least the ones that weren’t nightmares.

Veronica. Right. She lived with Madison now. He remembered from their online run-ins.

She opened the door, her cheeks a little flushed, as if she’d run to get there. “Hey.”

Her clothes were baggy again. A sweatshirt zipped up to her chin, simple jeans that weren’t too tight, but not hanging off of her either. They hid her shape well enough. But her long hair was braided again, the thick tail swung over her shoulder. He had the strangest urge to wrap a hand around the woven locks, see if the stuff really felt as heavy in his hands as it looked.

“Madison came home late from work. She said to tell you she is changing and will be out in a minute.” Her voice was whisper thin, like she was unsure. She opened the door wide and let him through.

“Thanks.” He walked through and stood by the kitchen table, not sure exactly what to say. She closed the door behind her and walked to the living room as if he wasn’t even there.

Well, okay then. Apparently he didn’t register on her radar. It bothered him, though it really shouldn’t. She shouldn’t be registering on his radar either. Hell, his radar should be turned off.

The doorbell rang and Madison yelled, “That’s the pizza!” from deeper in the apartment.

“I’ll get it,” he said, thankful for something to do other than stand stupidly in the dining area by himself. He paid the pizza guy and dropped the boxes on the table. Madison ordered three. Bless her, she remembered he’d be starving and wanting good food again. Thoughtful friends were irreplaceable. He opened the top box and let the aroma of the loaded toppings, the spicy pepperoni, the melting cheese, and sweet sauce hit his nose. Pizza. Real pizza, not that horseshit they served at the mess hall and dared to call pizza. With a sigh of thanksgiving, he grabbed the first slice and bit in.

“Oh.”

He whirled around, which only made the melting cheese and a little sauce fly across his cheek. Gross. Not to mention unattractive.

Veronica stood there, holding a stack of plates and some napkins, wearing a slightly alarmed expression.

Right. Because in civilized society, people used plates. Not just digging in rudely. Fuck, she must think he was an animal. He chewed quickly and swallowed while using the back of his wrist to wipe at his cheek, wincing at the burn of the too-hot cheese. “Sorry. The allure of good pizza got ahead of me. Haven’t had much decent food for a while.”

Her expression softened. “Oh, of course. That’s fine. Here.” She handed him a plate and went back to the kitchen. “Would you like something to drink?”

She’s playing perfect hostess and I’m dripping sauce on the carpet. Great.
He plopped the slice on the plate and shut the box so heat didn’t escape. “Uh, I can get it.”

“I’m already in here. Would you like a beer? Madison has a few in here. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind sharing.”

He wanted a cold bottle more than she knew. But he wasn’t an idiot. Right now, alcohol was the last thing he needed. “Just water.” He sat at the table, not sure if that’s what Veronica was expecting. He and Madison always just took the food into the living room and ate on the couch straight out of the box. Maybe the new girl was super uptight?

She brought out a glass with ice.

“You didn’t have to pour the bottle out.” He accepted the glass and took a gulp, hoping to wash down the awkwardness with it.

“No bottle. Skye has given everyone a filtered pitcher in favor of being more eco-friendly. Plastic bottles are the devil, she says.” Veronica grinned a little.

Yup. Sounded just like Skye. Dwayne grinned at that. “But Skye’s not here, and Madison hates those things.”

“She does.” Veronica smiled slyly. “But whenever I can, I hide the bottles she buys so she’s forced to use the pitcher.”

He laughed, and the sound felt rusty coming out. Rusty, but good. Needed. Amazing. “Sneaky little witch. I knew I liked you. All prim and buttoned up, but you’ve got a sadistic streak hidden in there.”

Her eyes widened a little, and he wondered if he’d gone too far with the joke. But then they crinkled in the corners, as if registering the humor, and her lips twitched.

And then there was nothing. Literally nothing. Veronica didn’t grab a slice of pizza, and Dwayne wasn’t sure if eating in front of her would piss her off. It was an Italian standoff. Why did he feel so damn uncomfortable? Was it the warning Skye had given? Or Veronica herself?

The fact that he didn’t think she’d appreciate his brand of innocent Southern flirtation meant he was left with little to say. Wasn’t that a pisser… While twirling his glass between his palms, he took a quick peek at her from the corner of his eye.

She sat there, prim as can be, hands folded in her lap, studying the box of pizza. Either she was memorizing the pizza chain’s slogan printed on the cardboard, or she was completely avoiding looking at him. Maybe he made her just as nervous. At least they had that in common.

Finally, she reached for something. But it wasn’t a slice of pizza. Her fingers grasped a napkin, then reached out toward him. He jerked back reflexively before realizing her intention. Her eyes widened, then she dropped the paper next to his plate.

“You still have a little…” She tapped a finger on her cheek.

The sauce. Right. He’d been sitting there the whole time with a smear of sauce on his cheek like a two-year-old. As far as first—or was it second?—impressions went… he was probably batting a zero in her eyes. And it shouldn’t matter anyway.

“Hey, guys.”

“Madison.” Thank you, God. Dwayne popped up and gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Hiding from me?”

“Not even close. Just got held up at the hospital. Training a new girl on the computers and she’s clearly a little slow on the uptake.” Madison glanced at the plates, brows raising in surprise. “Where’d those come from?”

Dwayne jerked his head toward Veronica.

“I brought them out. Should I not have?” She bit her lip like she was waiting punishment or something.

Madison waved the question off. “No worries. We just bring the boxes in with us to the living room. We’re casual like that.” She slugged his arm hard and pointed at the pizzas. “Grab those, pack mule.”

“You just keep me around for the heavy lifting,” he joked.

“Damn straight. You gonna watch the movie with us, Veronica?”

Say
yes.
He wanted to watch her all night. Just being in her presence reminded him of the calm she’d brought to his life during the deployment.

Say
no.
He’d embarrassed himself enough around her for one day.

Great. He couldn’t even make up his own mind.

“Sure.”

Well, damn. Or maybe not. Hell if he even knew what he wanted—or needed—anymore. He grabbed the boxes and headed toward the couch.

The good thing was that during a movie nobody was expected to say a damn word. Silence was currently his best friend.

***

Veronica covered her eyes and shuddered as a gang of rebel soldiers invaded a warehouse and walked right into a trap. A violent, deadly, graphic trap… one she couldn’t watch without risk to her stomach.

Normally she took every opportunity to watch movies, picking up on slang and other social nuances. She treated it much like a game. Sheltered didn’t begin to describe her upbringing, she was coming to realize. Veronica knew she would be behind the curve on a lot, but she hadn’t realized just how far her parents had gone to keep her ignorant about all things average.

Of course, their reasoning wasn’t to shelter her so much as they just assumed their calling to spread God’s word was too important to ignore. For them or their daughter, who had no say in the matter. But the effect was still the same. Veronica was playing catch-up at twenty-six.

“I’m gonna go take a shower.”

Veronica looked toward Madison. “What? It’s the middle of the movie.” At least she thought it was. Hard to tell one part from another with all the blood. She winced as another man fell with a shriek of pain and rolled offscreen.

“I know, but I didn’t have a chance to take one earlier, and I feel gross. Not showering after the hospital isn’t an option. Plus, D’s asleep anyway. He won’t even know I’m gone. I’ll feel better after I shower.” Without waiting for her answer, Madison headed for her bedroom with the connected bath.

Veronica glanced at Dwayne. He was, indeed, dead asleep. After seven slices of pizza—seven!—he’d moved from the couch where all three sat to the love seat. He’d said he wanted to lie down for the movie. Two minutes later, the not-so-faint rumble of snoring had started.

How he could sleep through people being slashed and shot to death, she had no clue. It was nightmare-inducing. Then again, maybe he was on to something. If his eyes were closed, he wasn’t forced to watch the screen.

Why didn’t she think of that?

She focused on the movie, but after another minute, she turned her attention back to the giant lounging to her right.

His body took up the entire sofa. One arm was flung over his head, the other rested on his abdomen. His shirt was pulled up just a little, showing a thin strip of bronzed skin and a little line of hair, just a little darker than on his head, leading into his…

Oh, no. Veronica’s face flushed at the thought. She turned her eyes away.

You can take the preacher’s kid out of the missionary work… but apparently you couldn’t take the guilty mind out of the PK.

And just when she was starting to feel normal. She’d bet Madison wouldn’t blink at seeing a man’s stomach, or the reminder of where the little trail of hair led. Time to ditch the old mindset. She left her parents behind because she wanted to experience a new life. New life meant considering men for something other than platonic friendship. So she forced herself to take further stock of the specimen on the couch.

His hands were ringless, and a simple sports watch wrapped around his thick wrist. Forearms dusted with hair led up to the pushed up sleeves of his shirt. His wide shoulders stretched out a tight Henley shirt that had seen better days. She could see the frayed edges from here.

Long legs… Lord, were they long, encased in jeans that were more than a little worn at the seams. At least it was consistent, she thought with a small smile. She followed the line of denim, refusing to ignore his groin area. If she was going to start dating and being with men, she had to get used to it.

Okay. Maybe she should start with a less daunting subject. Her eyes drifted down until they landed on his boots. One foot was on the floor, but the other was on the coffee table. Right next to the pizza boxes.

For some unknown reason, it bothered her. A great deal. She tapped the boot with her own bare foot, but nothing happened. What was she expecting? The man didn’t wake up when bombs went off on the TV speakers. A little tap wasn’t going to move him. She debated the wisdom of her plan, then ditched wisdom and went for it anyway.

One hand grasped the toe of his boot, the other hooked under the cuff of his jeans. She waited, holding her breath, but he didn’t move an inch. Not a flutter of lashes, not a twitch of the finger. Lifting slowly, she adjusted until she could place the boot with care down on the floor.

The snarl was her first clue she should take off running. But before her mind could even process the odd noise, she flew through the air. Landing on her back on the sofa, she tried to breathe, but couldn’t. Her lungs wouldn’t expand, like the time she fell from a tree limb and had the wind knocked out of her. She opened her eyes and saw what might be in her top five most terrifying sights of her life.

Dwayne pinned her down, one arm draped over her chest—explaining why her lungs couldn’t expand—and his knee was holding her legs immobile. His face was red, eyes bloodshot, nostrils flaring. He was a raging bull, and his anger was one hundred percent focused on her.

She tried to gasp, to say something, to scream for help, but only a squeak came out. Her eyes watered, lungs burned like they were on fire. She clawed at his arm, struggled to be let up. Desperate for air.

And then the heavy weight was gone. Her eyes closed automatically in relief. She gasped in a cool, relieving breath of fresh air and nearly choked on it. Slowing down, she forced herself to breathe in through her nose, out through her mouth. To focus on slowing down the rapid pace of her beating heart. Shock and near-hysteria, she knew, could steal your oxygen almost as fast as anything. Her eyes stayed shut, but she could hear Dwayne moving on the other side of the room, but she wouldn’t look. Couldn’t. All that mattered was soothing her abused lungs, calming her racing heart. Not throwing up.

“What the… Veronica? Are you okay?” Madison was by her in an instant, kneeling down in front of the couch. She rubbed her arm soothingly. “What happened?”

Veronica pried her eyes open, not at all sure how to answer that. Because she had no clue herself. She shook her head, though she wasn’t sure if it was a request for more time, or something else.

“Dwayne?”

Veronica finally made herself search out the man. He stood in the corner of the room, as far away from the couch as he could get without climbing out the window. He stared at his hands, which were shaking, balling them into fists, then unclenching them again. Stared at them as if they weren’t his own.

“Dwayne, what happened?” Madison’s voice sounded so upset.

“It’s okay.” Too scratchy. Veronica cleared her throat and tried again. “It’s fine. I think I startled him.”

What an understatement. He’d scared the daylights out of her, but all of a sudden, with the large man pressed against the wall, looking so disgusted and shattered, she couldn’t feel anger or resentment. Something else was wrong, and it had nothing to do with her waking him up.

“Veronica, I…” He shook his head and screwed his eyes tight. When he opened them again, they were filled with regret. “I’m sorry.”