The Panty Whisperer: The Complete Series (29 page)

I don't want him to see me cry. He shouldn't get to see me weak like this. "You should go."

"Can I just—"

"Did I fucking stutter?" My teeth grind together so hard my jaw will probably be sore for a week.

"Sorry."

He turns to walk away, and the pussy version of Quinn that's in love decides to rear her ugly head.

"What are you even doing here? Why now?" I shouldn't entertain his words. They're like poison that knows exactly where I'm vulnerable.

"I just. I don't know, okay? I heard you were leaving, and I just came."

"What did you think was going to happen? You show up, and I don't go? We just forget the last week ever happened?" God, I really want to do all those things. But I can't. Not to mention the girl. My fists clench. "And you and the blonde at your mom's? Seriously, just go."

"I'm sorry. I had to see you. I can't stop thinking about you. And the girl—"

"Fucking save it, Joel! I don't want to hear you talk your way out of it, like you always do. It's too late. I'm going."

He drops his gaze to the ground, and suddenly I'm the one who feels bad. "I-I understand." He sulks and turns to walk away.

"I'm sorry about your mom. I would've been there in an instant had you called me. I just didn't want to upset you."

He looks back at me. "I know."

I head inside for my plane and watch him walk into the parking lot through the huge glass windows of the airport. Standing there in a daze, I think about what might have been.

People are getting up and leaving the conference room after my second pitch of the day, when a man approaches me in a suit. He looks familiar, like I've seen him recently. I don't mind his presence. Dark-brown hair and bright-blue eyes. He looks about my age and happens to not be ugly at all.

"Hey." He approaches with a wide smile.

"Hi."

"You're doing a great job." He stops a few feet away.

"Umm. Thanks. This is about my third day doing this."

"I know." He smiles again, like he knows something I don't.

"Are you with the company?"

"Your company."

My stomach balls up in a knot. "Is that so?"

"Yes. I'm evaluating you, and I like what I see, so far." He looks me up and down like he's talking about more than just my job performance.

Fuck it. I have no reason for him not to look at me.

"What exactly have you seen?" I turn around to put my laptop in its case and lean farther over the table than I should as my skirt rides a little up my legs.

He coughs, and I linger for a little longer than normal before turning back around.

"Umm. You're a great speaker. People seem to like you. To the point, but in a fun way."

I toss my laptop bag over my shoulder and let the strap run between my breasts, pulling my bright-red blouse tighter against me. I smile and walk up closer, making eye contact. "Tell me more about how great I am."

I laugh to make it obvious I'm joking.

"I'd love to tell you more over dinner."

Something about him asking me to dinner sends waves of guilt rushing through my body. I'm a fucking mess. How do I get myself out of this hole I've dug?

"I wish I could. I have to catch a flight. You should know this."

He looks away and then snaps back into business mode. Thank god. I don't need any added distractions right now.

"Right. Well—here's the thing. Your boss speaks highly of you. You have the look we want. We like what we see."

"Okay. I mean, thank you. I'm just confused. What's going on here?" I waggle my finger back and forth at both of us.

"How would you like to do this type of work full-time for the company?"

I nearly squeal but stop myself.

Remain professional, Quinn. Fuck.

My face has to be bright-red with excitement. "I think I'd be very good at it. I enjoy it so far."

"You'd have to relocate. And you'd be based from our offices here." He smiles.

It all comes crashing down on me. I should be fucking giddy with excitement, and all I can think about is how hard it would be to leave. My friends and family I can visit.

But Joel.

That motherfucker. Why do I let him own me like this? Maybe this is how I'm supposed to finally break free from him. "Well, make me an offer, and we'll talk. I'm definitely excited about the opportunity. Thank you."

"I'll have it to you today. I'm—I mean, we're very excited about this."

Blue eyes turns and walks from the room, and I never even got his name. Once I'm certain he's left, I do a little awkward dance that I pray I never repeat. My hand fishes into my bag and I pull out my phone to call Megan.

"Hey, what's up?" She sounds extra chipper.

"I got an offer. Well, they're going to make me one anyway. They want me to travel around and do these presentations for clients."

"What? That's incredible. Good for you. You deserve it."

"Bad news though, to go with the good." I fumble around trying to pick up my pen off the table.

"What's that?"

"I have to relocate here. Based out of corporate."

"No! You can't leave me here with these two boys—I mean—sorry. That just came out all wrong."

My nails dig into my palm thinking about Joel, but I know she didn't mean anything by it.

"It's okay. I don't want to leave. I just can't pass this up. I love the work and maybe it'll help me get over a certain someone you just referenced."

"It would be fantastic for you. I'm just being a selfish bitch. I shouldn't have joked like that. It just came out."

"The guy who made the offer wasn't horrible to look at. Bluest fucking eyes I've ever seen." Still thinking about Joel.

"Is that right?"

I shouldn't have told her that. I imagine it will get back to Joel. It was mean, but I don't care. He shouldn't have ambushed me at the airport like that. Who does that to someone?

"Yeah, it's nothing. He asked me to dinner. I turned him down."
Fuck, Quinn. You are being a real bitch.
"I think I get a chance to come home in a few weeks. I'll definitely update you before then."

"You better. I'm so happy for you."

"Thank you." I may squeal a little bit before I hang up.

JOEL

I
'
M
FLIPPING
THROUGH
old pictures of me and Mom, wondering what she'd think of the way I've handled things recently. I know she'd be disappointed, and it eats at me constantly. Why do I always do this shit to myself? I'm like a ticking time bomb, looking for a way to self-destruct. Thank god my phone rings to jar me from my self-loathing.

It's the imperial death march and that can only mean one thing, Tommy boy will be on the other end.

"What up purple rain?" I ask.

"Purple rain?"

"You know, because you're the prince of taking cock?"

"Nice, Herbert. Really fucking mature right there. I'm shaking my head, but you can't see it. So just know it."

"Prince Albert. I think that's what I'll call you. Because you like them pierced." I know he finds it funny, but he'll never give in. He never does.

"Are you finished?"

"That's what purple rain asks all the boys that have their way with him."

"Goddamn it. I make the fucking jokes around here, Whisperer. Sit in your tower, and fucking nap."

"Oh, you do love the Tenacious D. Don't you? You want more pierced D getting all tenacious with you." I'm on a roll right now, and I can practically feel the steam building between his ears. It's helping me forget about everything else as well.

"I will take Megan on a date to see
The Force Awakens
and leave you to go by yourself, Pee Wee Herman."

"You son of a bitch! You wouldn't dare!" I refuse to let him win this one. He always wins.

"Just wicking your little weed to the new light saber. Ushers shining a flashlight on you while you wail on your little guy in the corner, tucked up next to the wall."

"There a reason you called?" I decide to take an out while I'm still ahead.

"Oh, yeah. My bad. Umm. Quinn is moving. Anyway, so what are our plans for the movie when it comes out?"

"Wait, what?" I scrub my hand over my face as I process this information.

"What are our plans for the movie? I was thinking I dress as Han and you can be Luke. Naturally, because you just talk like a pussy. We need to get tick—"

"Quinn is moving?"

"Why do you focus on the less important things I tell you? Jesus, bro."

"Where did you hear this?"

"Really? You want to know where I heard this?"

"Yeah, you got a point there. When is she moving?"

"She's already there. Coming home in a few weeks to pack her shit and she's gone."

"She wants away from me that bad, huh?"

"I don't know, man. I'm hearing this second-hand. Some things could be lost in translation."

I can't believe I pushed her away like this. Sweat beads form on my forehead. "Alright, well thanks for the info, sweetheart."

"You okay?"

"I'm good man, I swear."

"I'll holler at you later then, girlfriend."

"Bye sweetie."

Fuck!

I hang up, and all the air leaves my lungs.
Goddamn it!
I can't stop thinking about Mom. All the things she said about making myself happy. How I needed to try with Quinn. I let Mom down. I let Quinn down.
I have to make this right.

JOEL

"
Y
OU
REALLY
DON
'
T
have to go." I stare at Tommy.

"No, no. I must do it. For the good of the land." He smiles.

"Still loving my Tenacious D?"

"It's the best D in town, sugar tits." He pops me in the crotch and I double over as he walks off.

"You're gonna pay for that, you piece of shit."

All I see is his middle finger as he enters the large revolving glass door in front of the airport. I grab my bags and hobble along to catch up with him.

We check our bags and head to security. We're standing in line staring at all the random travelers. It's loud and busy as we approach the guy in uniform checking IDs and boarding passes. Tommy is sweating bullets.

"Will you hold me if we crash?" He turns and flashes doe eyes at me.

"Of course I will. You know this."

He looks over at the large machines scanning people as they walk through. "What do you think my dick will look like on their screen? I'm worried the resolution isn't good enough to capture its true essence."

I'm trying not to laugh as he hands his ID to the airport security guard. "How many megapixels is the internal camera in that thing?"

"What?" The guard looks unamused.

Tommy turns to me. "Amateur hour over here." He motions with his head to the guard.

"Jesus Christ, are you trying to get us on a 'no fly' list?"

He whispers to me, loud enough for the guard to hear. "We'll be fine as long as I don't leave my cock unattended."