The Perfect Family (32 page)

She thought of the comforting atmosphere of the UCC’s sanctuary. The genuine wisdom of Anabelle. The cross without nails. “It doesn’t feel like we’re being seduced. It feels like Jamie and I are being embraced.”

“Often sin is disguised that way.”

“Do you really think it’s a sin to go to another church?”

“You know from our teachings that the Catholic Church is the chosen one of God and all others are false. God sent you to us, Maggie. He made you a Catholic.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t believe in your church anymore.”

Father Pete cocked his head. “Does this rejection have to do with your sister Caroline? Mike told me about her coming to Sherwood.”

They’d never discussed Caroline’s situation with the priest because Maggie was fearful he’d be judgmental.

“Maybe.” She lifted her chin. “The church deprived me of my sister for thirty-seven years.”

“I was sorry to hear that. Some clergy, especially back in the seventies, were overzealous about issues.”

“Then you wouldn’t have advised my mother to disown Caroline?”

His brows rose. “No, just like I’d never advise you or Mike to disown Jamie. All problems can be worked through, Maggie. I’ve been praying for your mother, sister, and you since Mike told me about this.”

“Thank you,” she said, surprised by his support. “We need it.”

“Let me know what else I can do.”

Maggie cocked her head. “Even though I won’t be coming back to St. Mary’s?”

“Of course. I’ll always be here for you. Besides, I haven’t given up on you.” He gestured to the couch. “But I have to ask. Is there someone in your life besides Mike? Is that was this is all about?”

“No, of course not.”

“I found you in a compromising position.”

“You misunderstand what you saw. I love Mike and have never been unfaithful to my vows.”

“Perhaps you could come back to the church for Mike. You made those vows with him. One of them was to obey.”

“You know, I could do that for Mike. But I could never sacrifice Jamie to your church, Father, not even for my husband.”

Now the priest’s eyes were warm and sympathetic. “God won’t ask you to sacrifice Jamie. You’ll find a way through this.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t do what you’re asking me to do.”

“Aren’t your worried about Jamie’s soul?”

“Oh, Father, Jamie has a wonderful soul. He’s kind and loving. God must be very pleased with him.”

“Not if he practices homosexuality. You know I think that his orientation can be changed, but even if you don’t have the same set of beliefs, can you at least convince him to remain in the Catholic Church and work on his sexual preference within our boundaries?”

Coming to the edge of her chair, she said crisply, “This isn’t a preference, Father. It’s the way God made him. I’ll never allow your church to make him think he’s a sinner for following his natural instincts.”

“Then you’re giving up on your faith?”

“No, never on faith. But on your church. It’s not an institution I can embrace anymore.” If she ever really had.

The priest stood. “I’m sorry to hear that. I came today because I want you to be healthy and happy. I want that for all God’s people. I’ll pray for you, and especially for Jamie.”

Suddenly, Maggie was ten again, being admonished by a priest from the pulpit for her sinful ways. It silenced her for a moment. But she shook the sensation off. She wasn’t ten. She was a mother with her own child to protect. “I love my son, and maybe we’ve found a church that can accept him, one that has an understanding of God which is more in line with our beliefs.”

“Just be careful of the choices you make, Maggie.” Now he gestured to the couch. “Especially other kinds of temptation.” He walked out of her office.

She sank onto her chair and, putting her head down on her desk, she prayed. Not for Jamie this time, but for her husband, who had an unwavering faith in a church that could never accept his son. What would Mike do if he was forced to choose between them?

*

Searching for a cage in the garage, Mike banged old cans of paint around, kicked the lawnmower in his way, and knocked some tools to the floor. His frustration with his home life was affecting all his actions. Jamie’s accusatory stares, Brian’s pressure on Mike to fix all this, and Maggie’s cold shoulder were getting to him. Today, his wife was foremost in his mind. It was amazing to him how couples picked on what they used to let go, or even help with, when they were angry about something else.

“Let me put the dishes away, you’re exhausted,” had become, “I’m going upstairs. It’s your turn to clean up.”

“Honey, the faucet’s leaking,” translated into, “Can’t you fix that before your damn golf game?”

And sliding sweetly into each other’s arms in the darkness was precluded by, “I’m too tired,” or worse, a lie on her part, “I have my period.”

The last memory brought back what Father Pete had told him. Infuriated all over again, Mike picked up a piece of wood for the fireplace and threw it against the pile…

I went to the college to speak with your wife…she’s in dangerous water, Mike. We have to help her.

Is it more than Jamie’s situation? Caroline’s?

I’m telling you this, son, for your own benefit. Maggie was with another man in her office. They seemed close. Too close.
He went on to give Mike the details.
During hard times, people seek out others. Take comfort in someone who doesn’t disagree with them. Talk to your wife.

But Mike hadn’t broached the subject of her and Damien Kane because he was trying to get control over his feelings first. So the silence had simmered between them like a pot ready to boil over, and the tension had become intolerable.

As he found the cage he needed, he thought about the raccoons he was going to trap. He’d spotted them weeks ago before life fell apart. Maggie was out and Mike was cooking dinner. He’d called Jamie and Brian from their rooms to catch a glimpse of the visitors…

“Guys, come and see this. Quick.”

They’d trundled down the stairs and over to the window where Mike stood. “We have raccoons living under our deck.”

“Oh, man,” Jamie had said. “She has a baby.”

“Cool.” This from Brian. “Let’s go get a better view.”

They raced out onto the deck. The baby had been trying to climb the small hill behind their house, but kept slipping back down the incline. It didn’t yet have its sea legs, and the mother was nudging it along. Suddenly, the big raccoon’s head snapped up. She froze, seemed to stare at Jamie and Brian. Then she abandoned the baby and scooted under the deck.

“Aw, shit,” Jamie said when they came back in.

Brian’s shoulders sagged. “It’s my fault. We shouldn’t have gone out there.”

The boys worried all evening about the baby, who remained on the hill alone. They kept peeking out the window to see if the mother had rescued it yet. She hadn’t reappeared by the time they went to bed.

That night, at two a.m., Mike was awakened by a noise. His and Maggie’s bedroom faced the back, and he went to the window. Outside in the yard, the full moon caught his boys in its silvery net. He didn’t think he’d ever forget the images of Brian and Jamie, on the hill, one holding the flashlight, one bending down and scooping up the baby raccoon and carrying the tiny fur ball back its mother.

Mike remembered that incident even as he put sardines in the cage and carried it to the backyard. The steel glistened in the sunlight. It was an animal-friendly contraption that he set on the grass and propped open at one end.

Before he started up the steps to the deck, the mother raccoon sneaked out into the light of day. Behind her was the baby, a cute little bundle of energy. She must have spotted Mike because they both scurried out of sight.

He hadn’t seen Maggie on the deck until she called out, “What are you doing?”

He glanced up. She was gilded by sun, its rays making a halo around her, making her dark hair appear lighter. The pink shirt and shorts fit her nicely and he longed to hold her.

That feeling led to thoughts of her with Damien Kane, so he said, “We have to get the raccoons out from under the deck,” with more edge than he intended.

Leaning over the railing, she examined the cage. “You can’t trap the mother. What about the baby?”

“We’ll trap it, too.”

“This isn’t right.”

He climbed to the top and stood before her, full of righteous anger and bitter jealousy. “She can do harm to the deck. Or she could be rabid.”

“She isn’t rabid. I’ve seen her cleaning her baby, nuzzling it. And what’s she going to do, gnaw through pressure-treated wood? Don’t separate them.”

Too late. The mother inched back out and approached the trap. Smelling the bait, she darted inside. The cage snapped shut with a loud clang.

“Oh, no, Mike.”

He’d always loved this kind of sensitivity in his wife, but today it irritated him. “Maggie, they aren’t mother and child like you and Jamie.”

Before they could discuss the situation further, a door slammed inside. Jamie strode to the porch and slid a screen door aside. His gaze whipped from Maggie to Mike. “What’s going on?”

“We were just talking.” Maggie’s voice was gravelly with concern.

“You mean you’re fighting about me again.”

“As a matter of fact,” Mike put in tightly, “this doesn’t concern you.”

Jamie dropped down on the wooden bench. His whole body slumped and his eyes closed briefly. Mike’s heart went out to the boy and the weight he was carrying. Knowing he added to it caused him deep pain.

“Is something wrong, honey?” Maggie asked.

“Julianne’s being weirder than usual. We were supposed to hang out…” He slanted a glance up at Mike, his expression wary. “Never mind. I’ll deal with it.” He got to his feet. “I’m beat. I’m gonna go take a nap.”

Maggie smiled at him. “Okay.”

Mike grabbed his son’s arm before he could get away. “It’s not okay. I want to talk about your life with you like we used to.”

Ignoring the overture, Jamie shrugged Mike off. He noticed the cage and the raccoon clawing from inside it. Even from up on the deck, they could hear a gurgling, growling sound. “What the hell?” He looked at his father. “Did you do that?”

“Only temporarily. I’m taking it to the wildlife preserve.”

“You shouldn’t cage a live thing.” His voice rose a notch. “You can’t lock it up and ship it off to an unnatural environment because you think it should be somewhere else.” Then he spat out, “Oh, fuck,” and stormed into the house.

Weary, Mike sank onto a chair. “That wasn’t about the raccoons.”

“No, it wasn’t.”

“Did you know about Julianne?”

“Jamie mentioned he was having issues with her.”

“You didn’t tell me.”

She glanced away from him. “No.”

“Why?” When she didn’t respond he said, “You didn’t trust me to handle the situation well.”

“I guess I didn’t.” Her tone was raw. “I thought maybe you’d side with Julianne. She’s using her faith against Jamie, too.”

“That’s not what I’ve done.”

“I think it is.”

“So this is what our relationship has come to?”

“I don’t know. Sometimes, I’m afraid to talk to you.”

“You’re afraid I don’t put my own children’s welfare above my own?”

“I’m…not sure anymore.”

He could swear his heart stopped beating in his chest. “You know, don’t you, there isn’t anything you could say that would hurt me more than what just came out of your mouth?” He glared at her. “Except maybe that you’ve turned to another man.”

She shifted uneasily, her dark hair swinging into her face. She pushed it back impatiently. “What are you talking about?”

“Father Pete filled me in on the cozy little scene with Damien Kane in your office.”

“There was no cozy little scene.”

“He said you were holding hands. He witnessed a kiss, damn it.”

“It was colleague stuff.”

“Fuck it, Maggie, you don’t kiss your colleagues.”

Guiltily he recalled dropping Laura Simpson off from the business dinner a few nights ago and the peck on his cheek she gave him. But Kane had been hovering on the fringes of their relationship for years, and Mike was sick of it.

“Are you finally going to take him up on his veiled offers?”

“I won’t dignify that with an answer.”

He stood and faced her. Suddenly, Mike had the awful thought that they were squaring off like adversaries on an emotional battlefield. Deflated by the notion, he said softly, “Listen to us. I hate how we’re acting.”

“Me, too.” She gripped the railing behind her. “Maybe we should get some marriage counseling. If for no other reason than we might be able to help Jamie. And Brian. I’m worried about him. He’s a mess, and I can’t talk to you about him.”

A gasp came from the lawn at the bottom of the stairs. Brian was standing near the cage with a frown on his face. He catapulted up the steps. “You two are going for marriage counseling?”