The Regal Rules for Girls (22 page)
R
OYAL
E
NCOUNTERS
L
ots of people I know don’t like talking about the millennium mainly because they feel their New Year’s Eve party that night was kind of a letdown.
Not me.
Through serendipity and a huge, rather magical stroke of luck, I spent New Year’s Eve 1999 in a royal palace. A real one, with a real living, breathing royal family. Turns out that one of my friends from college was actually the nephew of a maharaja, and as a result I had been invited to spend the millennium with his family at their palace in India. Needless to say, it was one of the single most amazing experiences of my life.
I stayed in the palace for two weeks, and one night at dinner I was seated next to the Maharaja. I’d been to a cocktail party beforehand, and after four straight hours of gin and tonics, I remember wondering how on earth I was going to make sparkling conversation with a royal patriarch through an eight-course formal dinner—all while making sure I was sipping my soup in the right
direction! Thank god that I had been studying etiquette
1
for years (and thank god for those gin and tonics!).
Still, the Maharaja had held his title since he was four years old and certainly he’d had wackier dinner companions than me in his time, so I tried not to worry. (As expected, His Highness was extremely friendly, and his superb social skills made it incredibly easy for me.)
But my point is that you never know where life will take you. You might think sitting next to royalty at dinner will never happen to you in a million years.
But it can. And it might. So make sure you’re ready…
Don’t discount this. You never know when Her Majesty might appear before you! The Royal Family is much more relaxed these days than they were even ten years ago, so there’s no reason to panic. Still, whether your royal encounter is impromptu or planned, it’s best to be prepared.
When Her Majesty enters the room, all stand.
I shouldn’t have to say this, but make sure you are not chewing gum.
One never introduces oneself to the Queen; one must always wait to be formally presented.
Curtsey. Americans are not subjects of the Queen and therefore
technically
not required to curtsey like Canadians, Australians, and other members of the Commonwealth, but it remains a traditional and valued sign of respect.
Verbally address the Queen as “Your Majesty” in the first instance, then “ma’am”—to rhyme with spam.
In conversation, substitute “Your Majesty” for the word “you.”
Do not offer your hand or touch the monarch in any way. However, if the Queen offers her hand, take it briefly and lightly—no bone crunching handshakes.
If the Queen chooses to engage in polite conversation with you, allow her to lead the conversation. As much as you’re dying to ask about that naughty, redheaded grandson of hers—questions of any kind are not permitted.
Curtsey again as she leaves you.
In the years that followed, I found myself face-to-face with the Princess Royal, Earl Spencer, and the Duchess of York, among others. (Like I said, don’t think it won’t happen to you, because it will!). Keeping the correct forms of address in mind, the above protocol applies to meeting all high-ranking members of the Royal Family, but strictness varies according to the formality of setting (i.e. meeting Prince Harry at a charity reception is very different from meeting him at a nightclub). If there is any doubt over the formality preferred by a member of the Royal Family, contact the appropriate private secretary.
Curtsey while you’re thinking. It saves time.
—T
HE
Q
UEEN OF
H
EARTS
,
A
LICE IN
W
ONDERLAND
HOW TO CURTSEY
A court curtsey is always made with your weight on your right foot and the toe of your left foot a few inches behind your right heel.
As you bend your right knee, your body gently sinks.
Your arms should be gracefully bent, and your hands should be occupied in lightly holding your skirt or gown.
Lower your eyes briefly but resume eye contact when you rise.
A curtsey should be done gracefully and with control. If executed correctly, a curtsey feels a bit like like a ballet move.
Practice curtseying from a standing position and (because sometimes your royal moment will need to happen quickly) also practice walking into it, leading with your right foot.
