The Regal Rules for Girls (21 page)
All British weddings follow this exact same formula. Because any “personalized” touches are considered to be distastefully inappropriate and/or a nouveau break with tradition, all UK weddings
become virtually indistinguishable. So when the gorgeous Hugh Grant shows up late to the church, slides into the pew at the last minute, and mumbles, “Who is it today?”—you really can’t blame him.
Replying to Wedding Invitations
British wedding invitations do not come with RSVP cards. Your response must be handwritten on nice (preferably headed) stationery in the
third person
, using the standard, traditional wording of a formal reply.
For example:
Miss Annabel Swan [that’s you] would like to thank Mr. and Mrs. Blueblood for the kind invitation to the marriage of their daughter, Penelope, to Mr. Hugh Grant at St. Paul’s Cathedral on Saturday 29th July, 2012, at 3 o’clock, and afterwards at Claridge’s Hotel, and is delighted to accept/regrets that she is unable to attend.
You do not sign your name, there is no salutation, and the date is written at the bottom left of the page. The envelope is traditionally addressed to the bride’s mother or to the host(s) whose name is on the invitation.
The Dress Code
Describing the dress code for a British wedding is difficult. They are not black-tie optional affairs, so the slinky evening cocktail dresses that you wear to weddings in America usually don’t work.
(In fact, the Brits think it’s ridiculous that Americans wear tuxedos and evening dresses to church weddings.) Instead, think of a British wedding as going to a very formal church garden party—which is essentially what it is…
Traditionally, wedding attire for men is “morning dress.” For the longest time I thought this was “mourning dress” and found the idea rather depressing, until I found out that “morning” actually refers to the time of day that the suit is to be worn. Basically, a morning suit is the daytime equivalent of a tuxedo and is worn to formal events that take place in the day, like weddings, royal garden parties, and the Royal Enclosure at Ascot. A morning suit consists of a tailcoat, vest, tie, and striped trousers. Most British men own their own morning suit (most also own their own tuxedo). If your date doesn’t have one, encourage him to rent one; otherwise a dark suit with a shirt and tie will suffice.
Women should wear an elegant suit or chic, yet conservative day dress with neutral shoes. Getting too matchy matchy can look tacky.
Head-to-toe outfits in white or cream should never be worn, and all black, unless cleverly accessorized, is often too somber and usually discouraged.
Hats and fascinators are traditional, but not compulsory.
Usually the outfit you wear to Ascot or Henley would also be appropriate for a British wedding.
When in doubt, wear anything from Hobbs or L.K. Bennett.
If someone is wearing a dress identical to yours, don’t ignore the situation. Approach her with a smile and compliment her on her good taste.
R
ECOMMENDED
R
EADING:
A Guide to Elegance
by Genevieve Antoine Dariaux
Originally published in 1964 (the pinnacle of
Mad Men
–like style), this book is a bona fide bible for anyone hoping to attain timeless chic, grace, and ballerina-grade poise. From “Accessories” to “Zippers,” Madame Dariaux imparts her pearls of wisdom on all things fashion-related.
Elegance
by Kathleen Tessaro
I love this novel. It’s the story of an American girl living in London (can you tell why I love this novel?) whose miserable expat existence is transformed when she discovers a dusty, antique book entitled,
A
Guide to Elegance
by Genevieve Dariaux. What unfolds is a hilarious, contemporary version of Pygmalion—and the protagonist is a girl after my own heart, because she very much becomes her own Professor Higgins.
1
Unless you have zero hips, slim thighs, and a tiny bottom (aka “bum”)—and let’s face it—most of us don’t—your skirt hem should hit
directly below your knee
. Not only is this length classy and feminine, it draws attention to the slimmest part of your leg. If the hem is shorter or longer than this, you are in danger of making your thighs/calves look like tree trunks.
2
Bond Street is the London equivalent of Rodeo Drive.
3
Breaking news: L.K. Bennett stores are new open in Atlanta, Chicago, Houston, Philadelphia, and New York.
4
If you don’t know who Lady Bracknell is, you need to read
The Importance of Being Earnest
by Oscar Wilde. Now.
5
I suggest learning the words and tune to “Jerusalem” and “I Vow to Thee My Country”—as you’ll be hearing them for the rest of your life.
6
Actually, having adult bridesmaids at all is a purely American phenomenon. Traditionally, British brides (including Princess Diana) have tiny flower girls only. But I’m fairly sure Pippa Middleton broke that trend once and for all.
