The Regal Rules for Girls (23 page)

A royal invitation is a
command
—a command that you have the honor to obey. (The Queen’s commands can only be refused in the case of illness.)

In the past, if one were to attend the Court of St. James’s,
²
men
would wear knee breeches while women were obliged to wear tiaras and dresses with trains. Luckily, the rules governing formal court dress have relaxed a bit, and Buckingham Palace will tell you that there is no official dress code. But there are two regal events that still require some sartorial knowledge:

The Queen’s Garden Party

Held every summer on the grounds of Buckingham Palace, these elite social events are infamous. Just imagine a glorious afternoon filled with military bands, massive tea tents, and hundreds of specially chosen guests milling around the enormous palace lawn hoping to be spoken to by Her Majesty. I’ve waited years for someone I know to invite me along as a guest!

When I found out that my best gay friend had been invited, I nearly kissed him! At long last, I was going to be introduced to the Queen!
Finally!
Then my friend confessed that he was taking his mum to the party instead of me. I nearly killed him.

Nevertheless, I plan to attend a Queen’s Garden Party in my lifetime—and so should you. Here is the dress code for when that day arrives: Men invited to Buckingham Palace should wear their military uniform or morning coat. Women should wear a smart day dress with a hat or fascinator. Unlike Henley, there is not an official hemline restriction, though you should always plan to err on the side of good taste and avoid anything above the knee.

State Banquets

Most state banquets are “white tie,” which is even more formal than black tie. Men wear evening tailcoats, white bow ties, white waistcoats, and starched wing collar shirts. Women wear
floor-length evening gowns and gloves (it is best not to wear black, which is really only appropriate when the Court is in mourning). If you own a tiara, this is the time to wear it. When dining with the Queen, please note that she sits first, eats first, and when she finishes eating, you should stop too.

The Loyal Toast is a traditional toast given before a formal, state, or military dinner. The toast is usually initiated and recited by the principal host before being repeated by the assembled guests in unison—all of whom are standing. It consists simply of the words “
The Queen!
” You raise your glass for the toast, take a sip, and then sit down.

Occasionally, there is a second loyal toast immediately following the first: “To the Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, the Prince of Wales, and the other members of the Royal Family.”

A member of royalty is a king, queen, prince, or princess. All other aristocrats are members of what is known as the British
Peerage
. The Peerage has five hereditary degrees, each one outranking the next: duke, marquess,
³
earl, viscount,
⁴
and baron. Baronets and
knights are not peers. A royal or a peer can also hold more than one separate peerage. (For example, His Royal Highness Prince William is also the Duke of Cambridge, the Earl of Strathearn, the Baron Carrickfergus, and a Royal Knight Companion of the Most Noble Order of the Garter.)

If someone is “The Honourable,” it means he or she is the younger son of an earl, or the child or daughter-in-law of a viscount or baron. Do not use the title in speech, only in writing, when it is abbreviated to “The Hon.”

Forms of Address

Titles and the correct address for conversational use:

NOTE: If you are invited to a stately home, never use the words “House,” “Hall,” etc, when referring to it. “I’m going to Downton” implies that you are the guest of Lord Grantham. “I’m going to Downton Abbey” indicates that you will be paying an entrance fee.

The British throne cannot be inherited by anyone who is not blood-related to the sovereign—this includes Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall and Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge—who are part of the Royal Family through marriage only and therefore not listed in the line of succession.

In 2011, the British government, along with the sixteen Commonwealth countries, voted to overturn a thousand years of royal history by finally allowing the eldest child (male
or
female) to inherit the throne. Up until then the British monarchy had yet to change their rather sexist rule of primogeniture
⁶
—where succession
gave precedence to male children. (This is why Prince Andrew’s and Prince Edward’s children outrank Princess Anne’s.)

Changes to the law apply only to descendents of the Prince of Wales and have not been applied retroactively—so all remains the same until Kate and William produce some royal (and no doubt ridiculously good-looking) offspring. Nevertheless, if the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have a daughter (followed by a son)—by law, their daughter will one day be queen. Which means after all this time, girls finally have equal rights to the throne!

THE SOVEREIGN: HER MAJESTY QUEEN ELIZABETH II

1. Charles, Prince of Wales
   
2. Prince William, Duke of Cambridge
   
3. Prince Henry of Wales
   
4. Prince Andrew, Duke of York
   
5. Princess Beatrice of York
   
6. Princess Eugenie of York
   
7. Prince Edward, Earl of Wessex
   
8. Viscount James Severn
   
9. The Lady Louise Mountbatten-Windsor
   
10. Anne, The Princess Royal
    
11. Mr. Peter Phillips
    
12. Miss Savannah Phillips
    
13. Miss Isla Phillips
    
14. Zara Phillips (Mrs. Michael Tindall)
    
15. Viscount David Linley
    
16. The Hon. Charles Armstrong-Jones
    
17. The Hon. Margarita Armstrong-Jones
    
18. The Lady Sarah Chatto
    
19. Master Samuel Chatto
    
20. Master Arthur Chatto
    
21. The Duke of Gloucester
    
22. Earl of Ulster
    
23. Lord Culloden
    
24. The Lady Cosima Windsor
    
25. The Lady Davina Lewis
    
26. Miss Senna Lewis
    
27. The Lady Rose Gilman
    
28. Miss Lyla Gilman
    
29. The Duke of Kent
    
30. The Lady Amelia Windsor
    
31. The Lady Helen Taylor
    
32. Master Columbus Taylor
    
33. Master Cassius Taylor
    
34. Miss Eloise Taylor
    
35. Miss Estella Taylor
    
36. The Hon. Albert Windsor
    
37. The Hon. Leopold Windsor
    
38. The Lord Frederick Windsor
    
39. The Lady Gabriella Windsor
    
40. Princess Alexandra, the Hon Lady Ogilvy
    

Why isn’t Philip the King if he’s married to the Queen? Why isn’t Kate a princess if she’s married to a prince? Is he the Prince of Cambridge or the Duke of Wales? How can she be Princess Michael of Kent? That’s a man’s name! And so on. No matter how
hard we try, Americans can’t help but struggle to understand the intricacies of the British aristocracy. And who can blame us? When you’re born in a land where no one is a sir or lord, much less a prince or princess, the very idea of titles that elevate one person over another can be difficult to grasp. That said, I’ve done my best to shine some light on the most popular royal questions Americans tend to ask me…

Q: Now that Kate is married to Prince William, why isn’t she called Princess Catherine?

A: Princess titles are tricky. If they are not inherited (as is the case with Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie), the woman’s first name cannot be part of the actual title. Diana was
not
Princess Diana—that’s just what we liked to call her. She was The Princess of Wales. Camilla is
not
Duchess Camilla—she is The Duchess of Cornwall. Royal brides do not inherit titles; they merely assume the full title of their royal husband. (However, men do not assume the titles of women—which is why the Queen’s husband, Prince Philip, is not king). When Catherine Middleton married Prince William, she technically became Princess William of Wales (yes, a man’s name!) and would have retained this title if William had not received a dukedom as a wedding gift from the Queen. Since William became the Duke of Cambridge, protocol required that Catherine become the Duchess of Cambridge. (Prince William is also Earl of Strathearn and Baron Carrickfergus, meaning Kate is also Countess of Strathearn and Baroness Carrickfergus.) But Kate is
not
Princess Catherine and she is
not
Duchess Catherine; rather she is officially known as HRH The Duchess of Cambridge.

Q: If Diana had lived, would she have become queen? What about Camilla and Catherine — will they one day become queen?

A: Technically, yes. If Diana had remained married to Prince Charles when he became king, she would have become his queen consort and known as Queen Diana. However, Charles and Diana divorced in 1996, making this outcome impossible.

Camilla, currently The Duchess of Cornwall, will technically be entitled to become queen consort and Queen Camilla, but out of respect for Diana’s memory it is suspected that she will choose to remain a duchess. When Prince William becomes king, The Duchess of Cambridge will become queen consort and probably be known as Queen Catherine.

Q: Can the Queen choose to skip Prince Charles and pass the throne directly to Prince William?

A: No. The Queen does not have a historic or constitutional right to do such a thing. As it stands, her eldest son, Prince Charles, is next in line to the throne and will become King of England when the Queen dies. Any alteration to the line of succession would require a constitutional change to be voted through the UK parliament and throughout the Commonwealth.

Q: What is William and Harry’s last name? Is it Wales or Windsor?

A: Neither. Members of the Royal Family who are titled His (or Her) Royal Highness do not use a last name. Their official
titles
are HRH Prince William of Wales and HRH Prince Henry (Harry)
of Wales, but titles are not last names—and “Windsor” is simply the royal house to which the brothers belong. However, throughout their time with the Armed Forces, both princes wanted to simplify things and decided to use the last name “Wales” during all training and active duty.

Q: Why are some royals given titles like Princess of Wales or Duchess of Cambridge when they are neither from Wales nor from Cambridge?

A: The Queen bestowed all four of her children with special titles—Charles is Prince of Wales, Andrew is Duke of York, Edward is Earl of Wessex, Anne is Princess Royal. Women who marry royal men automatically take on the title: Diana became Princess of Wales, Fergie became Duchess of York, Sophie became Countess of Wessex—but Captain Mark Phillips, who married Princess Anne, got nothing because titles don’t pass through females.

In the same way, when William became the Duke of Cambridge, Kate became the Duchess of Cambridge. When Camilla married Charles, Prince of Wales, the palace worried there would be public outcry if Camilla became the new Princess of Wales, supplanting Diana’s legacy. So even though Camilla is technically permitted to take on this title, she insists that we call her the Duchess of Cornwall, because Charles is also the Duke of Cornwall.

All of these places—Wales, York, Wessex, Cambridge, Cornwall—are found in Great Britain, and since the monarchy reigns over all of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, it doesn’t really matter if they have specific residences in these areas.

Q: What is the difference between the Queen and the Queen Mother?

A: The British throne cannot be inherited by anyone who is not blood-related to the sovereign, hence the title Queen Mother (or “Queen Mum”) is reserved for the widowed (or
dowager
) queen consort whose son or daughter is the reigning monarch. For example, when Princess Elizabeth’s father (George VI) died, she inherited the throne and became Queen Elizabeth II—while her widowed mother (portrayed by Helena Bonham Carter in
The King’s Speech)
, who married into the Royal Family, became “the Queen Mum.” If Diana had remained married to Charles and he’d left her widowed, she would also have been the Queen Mum. Currently, if Prince Charles becomes king and dies before Camilla, Prince William will become king, but it is not yet clear if Camilla will become Queen Mother since Prince William is not actually her son. If Prince Willliam becomes king and dies before his wife, Kate will become the Queen Mother and their eldest child will become the reigning monarch.